Seven
Coy couldn’t stop swiping his palms on his jeans. If there was anyone who sucked more at being an adult than him, Coy had never met them. Green’s Fighter Fuel wasn’t a huge place. At least, the office area wasn’t huge. The warehouse behind the office employed hundreds of locals. Coy wondered if he should apply for a job while he was here. Through a set of glass double doors, he spotted John sitting behind a desk. His huge frame made the oak piece look smaller than it should. Coy breathed a sigh of relief when John didn’t glance up as he passed. Coy needed to talk to Brad and his nerves couldn’t handle anything else until then. A young guy, close to Coy in age, looked Coy’s way and then stepped into his path. His suit looked like it cost a fortune. His perfectly styled dark hair and condescending smile said he was worlds above Coy and knew it.
“Is there something I can help you with?”
Coy forced his hands to still before wiping them on his jeans again. “I’m looking for Brad Hollister.”
Dark green eyes swept down Coy’s body. Coy felt underdressed in his t-shirt, ripped jeans, and work boots. The guy’s expression screamed Coy didn’t belong. “Is he expecting you?” Something about the guy’s sneer brought out Coy’s long lost cockiness.
“Yes. We have a date.” Coy let his smile turn wicked, leaving no room for doubt what type of date it would be. The man’s expression changed. Coy swore the temperature in the room dropped by ten degrees.
“I see.” He dropped a stack of files on a nearby desk. “In that case, let me show you the way.”
Coy had a bad feeling he’d just stepped on some toes. He couldn’t stop himself from eyeing the guy as he followed on his heels. Despite Brad’s profession, Coy didn’t think the man matched well with a perfectly pressed office worker. First of all, Brad was nice. This guy was not.
With a sharp perfunctory knock, he threw open a door. “Mr. Hollister. Your date has arrived.”
Coy didn’t miss the sneered emphasis on date. Still, Coy didn’t stop smiling like they’d be besties. “Thank you...” He realized too late they hadn’t been introduced.
“Thanks, Jake,” Brad said, filling in the blank with a dismissive glance before his gaze moved Coy’s way. His expression shifted from bland to sweet and welcoming in an instant. Jake already forgotten, Coy stepped into the room.
“Hey.”
Brad brightened even more. “Hey. You’re early.”
“Yeah.” Coy’s face heated unexpectedly. “Sorry about that.”
For a moment, Brad stared at Coy in silence. He looked happy to see Coy, and it was... nice. His eyes flashed with irritation as they slid Jake’s way. “Thanks, Jake. I can take it from here.”
Coy purposely didn’t look Jake’s way at Brad’s admonishment. He knew it was petty, but people had looked down on him a lot the past year or so. He kind of liked making one person jealous, even if it was an unnecessary envy. Without a word, Jake shut the door with more force than needed.
Brad winced. “Sorry about that.”
“No worries. I bring out the worst in some people.”
A sexy-sounding chuckle escaped Brad. “Trust me. It’s not you.” Brad leaned back in his chair. His light green gaze swept over Coy, making Coy fight another blush. “You look gorgeous today.” Before Coy could call him a liar, Brad motioned toward a nearby chair. “If you don’t mind, I have to finish one last thing before we go.”
“That’s fine.” Especially since Coy didn’t intend to go anywhere with Brad. He sat and tried gathering his courage. Coy’s knee bobbed up and down. He caught himself before he chewed his nails. Brad was gorgeous. Coy stared at the man’s profile as he read something on his computer screen. It didn’t surprise Coy in the least someone had challenged his right to be there. Brad probably had dozens of men fighting to be with him. He had a good job. Coy could already imagine his mom’s face if he told her he was dating a lawyer. But in the end, Coy was in love with someone else. That wasn’t fair to Brad.
“You’re an amazing guy.”
Brad looked his way and winked.
Coy took a deep breath. “You’re just not my amazing guy.” Brad’s gaze slid his way once more and stayed. Coy talked faster as his nerves kicked in. In his experience, men didn’t take rejection well. That was why he’d chosen to do this here. “I don’t want to do anything to give you the wrong impression, or make you feel led on, but I also think you deserve for me to tell you in person I don’t think we should have lunch today.”
Brad’s mouth lifted in one corner, obviously entertained by Coy’s discomfort. “I won’t say I’m not disappointed. It’s not often I meet anyone like you. I don’t know if you realize this, but you’re unique.”
To Coy’s surprise, he found himself blushing again. Brad possessed an uncanny knack for flustering Coy. No one had ever called him unique. He never would’ve expected to be flattered by such an odd compliment, but it was Brad’s tone. It couldn’t have been more obvious that unique was what did it for him. “If I’d met you a year ago, you could’ve easily swept me off my feet.” Coy made a helpless gesture. “Now I have to win this stupid cowboy who doesn’t know his worth. He already owns me.”
“Ah. Lawson Yates,” Brad said, leaning back in his chair. “Jonah warned me he might pose a problem. You know, as long as we’ve done business with Baker Ranch, I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of Law dating anyone. Not that I keep up,” he quickly tacked on.
“I’m aware,” Coy said, trying to fight back the hopelessness of the situation.
Brad’s chest expanded. After a second, he released a loud sigh. “Well, this sucks. I don’t guess I could convince you to still go lunch with me anyhow, could I? The last thing I want is Jake gloating to my ex that you left before we even had our first date.”
That explained a lot. “Jake is friends with your ex?”
“They’re brothers, actually. It doesn’t seem to matter Easton was the one who cheated. I’m still the bad guy somehow.”
Ugh. Exes. They were the worst. “Well, technically, I’m single, so there’s no reason Jake can’t think we’re dating. May I take you to lunch, Mr. Hollister?”
“Hmmm. You twisted my arm. Let’s go.” Brad pushed to his feet.
With the burden of Brad getting the wrong impression lifted from his shoulders, a real smile tugged at Coy’s lips. “I have a feeling we could get in so much trouble together.”
“We should,” Brad said, steering him toward the door. “What sort of trouble would you like to stir up first? As long as I don’t lose my license to practice, I’m up for anything.”
As long as it didn’t mean losing his shot at Law, Coy was too. “Let’s start with lunch and go from there.”
Brad’s smile made everything seem brighter. “I like this plan.”
Coy did too. Judging by how things had left off with Law, Coy might need all the new friends he could get. Otherwise, the rest of his life could be lonely as hell.
The vineyard was quiet this time of year. Law liked walking the rows, enjoying the peace. Since the day he’d met Coy, there hadn’t been a peaceful moment in Law’s life. Today was no different. He ran through every second of his last morning with Coy, taking him home, and especially everything that had been said and done after he walked Coy to the door. Law scrubbed at his face. He’d needed that kiss. Yet his heart couldn’t accept it would be the last one.
As he reached the end of the row, Law delved deeper into the trees surrounding the vineyard. He didn’t want to see anyone today. Some days, his mind was too loud. Law worried if anyone got too close today, he’d turn into his mother. Sometimes, he could feel the rage building. Usually, it poured out in the form of scathing comments and sarcasm. With Coy gone, he wasn’t sure what form the fury would take. Black energy pushed at his brain. Law stopped walking and tilted his chin to the sky. A scream rose in his throat. His hands curled into fists. A roar sounded in his mind. His phone buzzed. Law scrambled to dig his phone from his pocket. As he stared down at the
device, a series of images appeared. Empty rooms. A large kitchen. Next up, a fenced-in backyard. Hardwood floors.
Coy: My soon-to-be new home, I guess. I meant to send you pictures the other day, but it was full of workers.
Law spent another minute looking through the images before responding.
Law: Why do you seem less than thrilled? The place looks great.
Coy: It’s the house John bought for Jonah when they were dating. I’m not sure I can afford the rent and I don’t want to fail Jonah. He’s the only person who believes I’m a semi-normal, functioning adult.
Even though the rage had disappeared at the first sight of Coy’s name, it had been replaced with a deep sense of loss. He might not be able to be who Coy needed, but Law could make sure he was always secure.
Law: If you fall on hard times, just let me know. I can cover you.
Coy: That’s nice. I’ll keep your offer in mind. I won’t take you up on it, but I appreciate you nonetheless. How’s Belle?
After moving to a nearby fallen tree, Law sat and focused all his attention on Coy.
Law: I decided to put Rick in charge of her care. If I make her nervous, I won’t force my attention on her. Do you need any help tonight? We’re slow around here. I could come help you clean Ty’s office again.
Coy: There’s not much to do tonight after the way we scrubbed the place last time. Thanks for that again. I didn’t realize all those animal cages would be such a pain.
Law: Anytime. Law hesitated before adding, Things aren’t the same around here without you.
Coy: LOL! What? Is there no one else for you to torment?
Law: No one with your wit. It’s unfair to fight an unarmed opponent.
Coy: I’m always only a text away.
If only he could reach through a text and hold on to Coy.
Law: The same goes for you. I’ll always be here.
Waiting. Law wouldn’t add that last part, even though it was the truth. He feared it would always be true. For the rest of his life, Law would be right here, living a half-life and completely aware of what he’d missed. Yeah. He was in for a long, empty life without Coy.
“What’s got you hiding out today?”
Law glanced over his shoulder. David headed his way. He waited to respond until David straddled the tree and sat. “How do you always find me?”
“You always go to the same places.” David’s voice was full of good humor. He was a nice person. Law truly believed God had been looking out for him when he’d stumbled into Baker Ranch as a kid.
“Comfort in familiarity, I suppose,” Law said absently as he stared at nothing in the distance.
“Tyrone and I just had lunch at one of my restaurants. I saw Coy there.” Law’s ears perked at the mention of Coy’s name, but he kept his gaze averted. David didn’t take pity on him. “I don’t think you’re too late.”
Law’s gaze moved David’s way at the comment without permission from his brain.
David flashed a knowing smile and didn’t let up. “He was headed to look at Jonah’s old house now that all the work is complete. I guess he plans to rent the place. But it hasn’t happened yet. So, you know, you could still get your shit together, man up, and beg him to take mercy on you.”
Law looked away. “I have no idea what you mean.”
David scoffed. Law didn’t blame him. Even to his ears, his denial sounded half-assed. “The world is filled with fools. Neither of us are on that list. Unless you plan on letting Coy get away.”
“That’s exactly what I plan.”
After a brotherly pat to Law’s shoulder, David stood. “I’m sure you have your reasons. I just hope they’re damn good ones, because—judging by the way John and Jonah’s lawyer was eyeing the guy at lunch—I’d say you don’t have much time to change your mind. Brad won’t wait for you to wise up before making his move.”
Law flinched as the words hit their mark. Did he intend to let Coy move on with someone else? Yes, he planned to do just that. Did he think he would die from it? Also, yes. Law very much feared that the moment someone else touched Coy, he’d instantly transform into a dried husk and get carried away by the first strong wind. It didn’t matter, as long as Coy was happy somewhere in the world. If he knew Coy was settled, Law could endure anything.
Spending the day with Brad turned out to be a lot better than Coy expected. Lunch had gone so well, Brad had taken off the rest of the day. After eating, they’d caught a movie, which was something Coy hadn’t done in ages. The day had been nice and normal. Coy couldn’t even remember the last time he’d considered a day normal. He’d also forgotten how to breathe easy until he’d realized halfway through dinner with Brad that he hadn’t been forced to remind himself to take full breaths all day. No one had insulted him. He hadn’t flinched away from anyone’s touch. Coy understood now why Law wanted this life for him. The thing was, Law wanted this life for him. No one else loved him that much.
While relaxing on the window seat inside his assigned bedroom, Coy stared out the window at the pool. At least, he tried looking at the pool. The couple currently occupying a huge three-person lounge kept capturing his gaze instead. From three floors up, Coy couldn’t make out any real details of John and Jonah’s make-out session. That was the only thing keeping Coy from feeling like a voyeur. But he also didn’t look away. They were in love. It was a healthy love too, unlike anything Coy had known in his life. Coy blinked rapidly at the sudden burning behind his eyes. Sometimes, other people seemed to have it so much easier than Coy. Almost everyone he knew managed to maintain real connections. Meanwhile, Coy was just lost.
An image of Law kissing his fingertips kept floating through Coy’s mind. He curled his hand into a fist, trying to hang on to the phantom sensation of Law’s lips. His gaze moved back to John and Jonah. It was hard to tell from this height, but he was almost certain they weren’t actually fucking. No one looked unclothed. Nonetheless, they were making love, and that was exactly what he didn’t know how to make Law understand. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought things through. He’d done nothing but think about Law’s confession. Coy knew he needed to be honest with himself. If there was any chance he could hurt Law down the road because he couldn’t live with Law’s impotence, Coy needed to admit it to himself now. Watching John and Jonah only reinforced his beliefs. Coy wasn’t afraid. He was scared of a lot of things, but disappointment in Law wasn’t one.
Coy dug out his phone and pulled up Law’s number. He typed several texts and deleted each one. Nothing he said seemed adequate because Coy wasn’t. He’d known for years he was missing something fundamental that made him worthy of a good man. Coy didn’t possess powerful words. He couldn’t call Law and convince him of anything. Coy tossed his phone aside with a growl. He scrubbed his fingers through his hair in frustration. His gaze automatically sought the couple below. What would Jonah do in his place? If John turned him away because of something neither of them could change, how would Jonah convince John to come back? Coy looked away, defeated. John was nothing like Law. It would take an act completely out of the box and over the top to floor him.
Coy stared at the wall, seeing nothing. A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. Coy wasn’t Jonah. He couldn’t picture Jonah humiliating himself for anyone. Coy was an expert at degradation. It wasn’t possible for anyone to think less of him. So, really, he could do anything. Coy’s smile grew. He would do anything.
Eight
There was a spot at the back of the stables. It was Law’s spot. He could open the back door and sit at the threshold for hours, staring at the night sky. After more than thirty years, the view was still as amazing as it had been the first night Tim had taken him in. This place meant freedom. Always had. Always would. But tonight, nothing brought him peace.
The rest of the crew had a raging bonfire going. They’d busted out the booze and passed three sheets to the wind hours ago. Law wasn’t much of a drinker, but they were fun to watch. Alcohol had been his mother’s de
mon. Well, her first real vice had been love. She’d turned to drinking after falling for an older doctor. He’d been married with children, but that hadn’t stopped her. She’d thought giving birth to his son would finally steal him from his family. Instead, he’d left her in the dust. In turn, she’d hated her son. To this day, Law knew her relief had to have been great at finding him gone. Law was the living reminder of her sins. Nobody knew how unfair he found life sometimes. It seemed, after surviving her, he should be allowed some happiness. Instead, he was forced to settled for peace. Tonight, even that emotion eluded him.
At a young age, he’d realized he was drawn to people’s minds and not their bodies. While other teens had bragged about all the people they’d fucked, compared asses and breasts, Law found all of that uninteresting. He’d never considered himself gay. Nor was Law straight. In fact, he didn’t think much about sex at all. Then he’d tried it and failed. After that horrible incident, all he’d thought about for a long time was sex and how he’d never be normal. Eventually, he’d settled into single life. Law had been determined to be happy with what he had. Tim had left him a lot of money when he’d passed and a stake in the land. He was set and could stay here forever, hiding from real life. The thing was, Law hadn’t realized he was hiding, until Coy. Now, not only did he see how much he didn’t have, he felt the lack everywhere he looked. As if his heart needed the punishment, his gaze slid David’s way. He sat on the ground between Ty’s knees. The man who’d stolen David’s heart leaned forward in his chair, running his fingers through David’s hair, massaging his scalp. David’s blissful expression made Law’s eyes burn. He wanted that. To sit by the fire, on the land he loved, savoring the touch of the person he loved most in the world. Law would always be right where he was now—alone. He swallowed. His throat felt like razor blades tore through his flesh. Was Coy with Brad right now? Law rubbed his chest, massaging the ache. He’d told him to go to Brad. Brad was a lawyer and had great friends. John would keep the guy in check, and—no doubt—Brad would always do everything within his power to keep Coy happy. That was what Law wanted. Wanting that life for Coy didn’t make it hurt any less that it would never be with him. He recognized his loss.
Sugar Enemy (Sugar Daddies Book 10) Page 6
