by Lisa Lace
I nod. “I’m not going to go seeking revenge. This is the last time I engage with Vincent. If he tries anything again, I’m not going to retaliate. I’m done with all that.�
Nodding, Jennifer taps her fingernails against her mug. “At least that’s one good thing to come out of all of this. And Lily? What happened with her?�
“She wants nothing to do with me. I asked her to come to New York. She didn’t want to leave. She doesn’t trust me anymore.�
“It’s really gone to shit this time, hasn’t it?�
“It really has.�
Jennifer rises and walks to stand behind me. She places a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll find a way to break the news to the team. All the research we’ve done can be applied to other projects. We’ve still broken ground with the work done here.�
I place my hand over hers. “Thanks, Jen.�
“You’re a good man, Ethan. We’ll get past this.� She heads towards the door. I can see her exhaustion in every step she takes. She looks back at me before she leaves. “I’m sorry about Lily.�
After Jennifer has gone to her hotel, I stay in the empty boardroom for a long time, thinking about how badly I’ve fucked up. The defense contract is down the drain, and I couldn’t win back Lily.
I wish I could go back to a time before all of this. Before Columbia, before Vincent, before New York. If I could rewind to those innocent years when it was just Lily and me, I’d never leave.
I still want her.
When I close my eyes, I see her as she was, a long time ago, standing by a window.
For the first time in forever, I have the urge to paint.
Lily
I meet Vincent at the hotel like he asked me to. When I arrive, he’s standing by his limousine, the valets packing his luggage into the trunk. “Are you leaving?�
“I’m catching a flight in an hour. The pilot’s waiting.�
“Oh. I didn’t realize you were going so soon.�
“Business calls.�
I come to a stop in front of him. There’s something peculiar about Vincent today. He’s not looking me in the eye, and it’s not nerves or sadness at goodbye. It’s more like indifference. He glances at his watch. “I’ve got to go.�
“When will you be back?�
Vincent shrugs. “I doubt I’ll be back. There’s not much for me in Payson.�
Doubt starts to gnaw at my stomach. “Then when will I hear from you?�
He sighs. It’s a patronizing sound, which becomes even more condescending when he lays a hand on my shoulder. “Look, Lily, it’s been fun, but this was never going to be a long-term thing. Did you seriously think I was going to fly back every weekend from New York to hang out with you in Rumsey Park?�
My mouth falls open, and I stammer. “But you said.�
“I know what I said, Lily. I thought it would get you in bed.� He grins. “Credit to you. You didn’t give it up easily. I respect that.�
“Was I just a game to you?�
Vincent looks disinterested. “I travel all the time. Sometimes it gets a bit dull. Especially somewhere like here. We matched on Destiny; I thought it would be fun to meet. You made me chase you. It was a challenge. I enjoyed our time. But, I own a multi-billion-dollar corporation. I’m hardly going to put that on the backburner to chase a piece of ass, however lovely you are.�
“What about all the time we spent together? What about the gallery? You must have spent millions and for what?�
He lifts his hands. “Millions are just a drop in the ocean these days.�
“I thought you said I was different.�
“And you are.�
“So, that’s it? You’re just going to get on your plane and leave?�
“I’m sorry, Lily. I don’t know what you expected from me. I was just mixing a bit of business with pleasure.�
“You’re a fucking asshole.�
He laughs. “Not the first time I’ve heard that.�
“I don’t understand why you did this.�
He smirks. “Does there have to be a reason? I thought I explained myself clearly, Lily. I was spicing up a business trip. That’s all. If it hadn’t been you, it would have been some other gullible young woman. You’re just the lucky lady I matched with.�
I blink back bitter, angry tears. “Is this funny to you?�
“I don’t know what you want me to say. Didn’t you get a kick out of it? A yacht, a gallery full of famous art. Those are some big experiences for a girl like you. Once in a lifetime, probably. We both had fun.�
“You arrogant prick! Don’t you dare try to act like you were doing me a favor.�
He shrugs. “Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy a taste of the good life, Lily. Even you aren’t above the allure of expensive things.�
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I’m choking up as I continue. “I didn’t go on those dates with you because you had money.�
“Well, you looked like you were having a good time to me.� He checks his watch again and nods to his driver who is standing by. Vincent leans forward and kisses me on the cheek. It makes my skin crawl. “I guess this is goodbye, then. It was fun, Lily. If you’re ever in New York, look me up. I’m easy enough to find.�
He gets into the limo, and it drives away. I stand there on the sidewalk, stunned. Then, the tears rise—big, ugly tears. I’m heaving with sobs in the middle of the street.
The valet who’d packed Vincent’s luggage asks if I’m okay. I shake my head, then run.
A block away, I slow down and check the time on my cell. Chloe should just be finishing her mid-morning class at Rumsey. I decide to jog there. She’s just finishing up when I arrive, and her eyes widen when she spots me at the edge of the group with my tear-stained eyes. “Keep stretching, everyone. We’ll pick this up next week.�
Chloe rushes over, putting her arm around me before she even asks what’s wrong. She ushers me over to a park bench, her face a picture of concern. “Honey, what happened?�
“I just saw Vincent.�
She frowns and bites down on her lip. She knows if I’m crying, it can’t be good news.
“What did he do?�
I lean into her shoulder and sob. “He said it was just a fling. Asked if I really thought I was going to see him again. Chloe, I feel so stupid! I kept asking myself what someone like Vincent would be doing with a girl like me, and I should have trusted my gut. He was only passing the time. What the fuck is wrong with these men? What the fuck is wrong with me?�
“Shh.� Chloe rubs my back comfortingly. “There’s nothing wrong with you, sweetie. They’re idiots. I’m sorry this happened.�
“I turned down Ethan for him.�
“You turned down Ethan because you didn’t trust him.�
“But if Vincent hadn’t been in the picture, maybe I’d have given him another chance. Have I made a huge mistake?�
“You did what you had to do.�
I stay with Chloe for about an hour. She does her best to comfort me, but in the end, she has to leave. She promises that she’ll see me that night.
I start to wander home. As I’m walking, my cell rings. I glance at the screen and don’t recognize the number. “Hello?�
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sp; “Lily, it’s Ethan.�
My heart stops. I take the cell away from my ear, my finger hovering over the button to end the call. I bring it back to my ear. “How’d you get my number?�
“It’s on your website.�
“Oh.�
“Are you okay? You sound like you’ve been crying.�
The concern in Ethan’s voice sets me off again, and I continue to sob. He’d warned me about Vincent, and I didn’t listen. Now it’s Ethan on the end of the line, not vanishing this time. Just checking in.
“Vincent just left. He said he doesn’t want to see me again.� I arrive back at my apartment, let myself in, close the door behind me, and fall onto my bed. “He told me all these stories about how the distance didn’t matter, and I was special. I believed him.�
“I’m truly sorry, Lily.�
He doesn’t even say ‘I told you so.’
I sniff and hold back the rest of my tears. “Anyway, forget about that. You don’t want to hear about Vincent Oswald. Why were you calling?�
Ethan pauses on the end of the line. He speaks. “I go back to New York in a couple of days. I know you don’t want anything romantic with me right now, and that’s fine, but I can’t bear to leave on bad terms. I want to see you. This time I want to say goodbye properly. Can we meet?�
I open the door, and there he is. When we met at Molly’s, I thought it was going to be the last time, but Ethan’s with me again. He holds out his arms and pulls me into a tight hold. “Are you okay?�
I nod, even though my eyes are red-rimmed and it’s clear that I’ve been crying. “I’m being stupid,� I say. “It’s not like we really had anything. It’s more that I feel really dumb.�
“You’re an attractive and talented woman, Lily. It’s not dumb to think that a man would fall at your feet. A man is a fool if he doesn’t.�
“I don’t understand why he did it. Why not be honest from the start? If it was just for fun, then whatever. But he didn’t have to lead me on.�
“It’s his mistake. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.�
I stand back to look at Ethan. He’s wearing a pair of denim jeans and a plain white tee. I’ve not seen him dressed like that for years. It looks completely different on him now. He’s toned up since we were kids, and his shoulders have broadened. Even though I’m upset, my body reacts to the instant attraction.
I notice flecks of white clinging to his arm, and I look up at him curiously. “Is that paint?�
Ethan rubs at the flakes and smiles. “I forgot how much I enjoyed it.�
“Where have you been painting? At the place you’re staying at?�
“I spilled quite a bit. Not sure I’m going to be getting all that deposit back.�
I laugh. After the morning I’ve had, I didn’t think I’d be smiling again so soon. I’ve already called Chloe and told her that I can’t see her tonight. She warned me to be careful.
“I’m glad that you’re getting back to the old you.�
“I realized that maybe he had more going on for him than I knew.�
“Come in,� I say, registering that we’re still standing by the front door. “Coffee?�
“Please.�
“The place is a mess. Sorry.�
“Don’t worry about it.�
Ethan sits on my sofa. I see him eyeing up my turntable, which has been shoved into the corner. “I have nowhere else to put it,� I tell him. “Neighbors hate me.�
“You must get fed up with this apartment.�
I sit down beside him, hand him his filter coffee, and shake my head. “No. I love it here. It’s home.�
A smile spreads across his face. “I’m glad you’re happy.�
Ethan looks handsome tonight, more like I remember him than he’s looked in recent weeks. Sandy and slightly ruffled, his hair looks like he’s rolled out of bed rather than coming freshly from the salon. A couple of days’ stubble has grown through. There’s that rugged charm I used to love.
“You look like you’ve had a rough night.�
He runs his hand through his hair and nods. “Work.�
“Uh-huh. Want to talk about it?�
“I’m not here for business.�
“You’re here for goodbye.�
He nods slowly. His hand slips on top of mine. “When I left Payson all those years ago, I never said goodbye. I’ve regretted that ever since. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.�
Our eyes meet. A spark flickers. My heart pounds with that same intense palpitation that it always does when I’m near Ethan. “I wish you didn’t have to go.�
“I’ve already been away too long.�
I bow my head, my fingers curling around the handle of my mug. “You know, I’m glad you called.�
“You are?�
“Yes. I didn’t want to leave on bad terms either. What we used to have was so special. I want to always remember it like that.�
Ethan smiles. It’s broad and warm. “You’re right. The memories I have of our years together are some of my best.�
“Which one’s your favorite?�
“My favorite? Hmm. How about the time we went to that theme park, and you took dozens of pictures on that disposable camera?�
I’m already laughing. “And when I went to get them developed, I realized there was no film inside? God, those were the days before the Ethan Steeles of this world revolutionized technology.�
“Do you remember that crappy cell phone you used to have? The flip phone?�
“That was so trendy back then. I thought I was the shit.�
“You dropped it in the river during one of your great stepping stone adventures.�
“We used to love it there.�
“We were always outdoors, weren’t we? Do you remember that time we got completely lost in the woods?�
I giggle. The memory is still fresh in my mind. I was just starting to panic when Ethan began gathering sticks. Before I knew it, we were so absorbed in building a fort that we forgot we were even lost. “We built a hut. We stayed in it for hours.�
“That’s not all we did.�
My heart flutters wildly in my chest. “Where did the years go?�
Ethan chuckles. “We’re not past it yet, Lily.�
“Aren’t we? I feel ancient. I wish we could go back to those times.�
Leaning toward me, Ethan holds on to my knee. Even that simple touch is enough to make my blood race around my body and sends a flush coursing through me. His ivy eyes hold my gaze. “We could have good times again, Lily.�
“Ethan.�
“Please, hear me out.� He takes both of my hands in his, holds them tightly. “I know you don’t trust me anymore. I’ve let you down too many times, and even when I’ve tried to apologize for the mistakes I’ve made, I’ve fucked it up. But my time here in Arizona has taught me things. The only time in my life when I was ever truly happy was with you. Tell me what it’ll take to make this work, Lily, and I’ll do it. I’ll fly down here every weekend. I’ll stop wearing suits. I’ll skinny dip at the golf course. Whatever it takes.�
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p; This time, I believe him. His eyes are very earnest. His hands are holding onto mine so tightly. He’s come dressed as the old Ethan, no airs and graces.
I nod. “Okay.�
“Okay?�
I’m laughing, happy tears rising behind my eyes. “Okay. Let’s try to make this work somehow.�
Ethan straightens with excitement, his eyes widening. “You mean it?�
“I do.�
I’ve got nothing left to lose. I’ve spent the better part of a decade pining after Ethan, and here he is, begging me to be his. I don’t know how we’re going to make it work, with all that’s changed between us, but I know I’ve held on this long for a reason.
His arms close around me in a tight hug. One hand rises up my back, along the back of my neck. It settles in my hair and rests there as Ethan presses his lips against mine.
Ethan’s mouth is warm, his stubble rough against my skin. His tongue traces against mine. He tastes of coffee, the way he used to when we whiled away the hours with our heads bowed together at Molly’s.
I placed my hands on either side of his face, his silky hair slipping between my fingers. Ethan’s arm closes around my waist, pulls me tight.
My breasts press against his firm chest. My hands fall to his upper arms. He’s strong and solid beneath my palms. “I’ve wanted you for so long,� he murmurs. He lowers his mouth to my neck and kisses my throat.
I place my hands on the back of his neck and throw my head back, savoring the feel of his mouth moving above my collarbone.
I’m wearing a blue T-shirt and a pair of fitted jeans with ripped knees. Ethan takes hold of the bottom of my shirt with both hands and pulls it over my head. Underneath, I’m wearing a white, see-through lace bra. His palm cups my small breast and squeezes then reaches behind my back to the clasp.
The bra falls away. Ethan lowers his head to my chest. His tongue circles each nipple in turn, his hands clasping at my breasts. His mouth is warm, his teeth teasing. He nibbles slightly, and a shudder of pleasure spreads through me.
