by Lisa Lace
VANESSA
I heard Avren come in and fought to stop myself from crying. I wanted to tell him everything in case he died on me, starting with an apology for keeping the news about Genetic Futures a secret.
I couldn’t forget the look in his eyes when he learned I hadn’t told him everything. Avren might never forgive me, but I had to do everything I could to make things right.
We had to stop living together. I was sure we could handle working together for the project’s sake, there was no way we could continue fooling around. My heart couldn’t take it.
What if the genetic alterations were fatal? What if he was on the verge of death?
We didn’t know when any of the problems might begin to manifest. After three days, Avren would try to take out his wings. If he didn’t suffer and was still alive, there was a chance our alterations had stabilized. Only a long-term longitudinal study could determine the precise effects of the genetic changes. If a ten-year study didn’t reveal any problems, we would start altering the genes of all the children born from the exchange with Earth — before the wings emerged.
With a little luck, they would never know their wings were supposed to hurt.
I dragged my thoughts away from science and back to the shambles of my life. We had three days. I was determined to make the most of them, in case I was going to lose him. I didn’t want to spoil the rest of our time together by thinking about him dying.
“Vanessa? How are you?�
I hated how much I loved the sound of my name on his lips.
I didn’t turn around or sit up. I knew I would start crying if I saw his face.
“I’m sorry, Avren.�
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.� He sounded confused and sat down on the bed next to me. He put his hand on my back, and in my fragile state, I lost control. I broke down, shedding more tears than I had the first time he left me.
“I should have told you about Genetic Futures.� I was sobbing. “I was going to take it, but it felt like I was betraying you. Sometimes being sorry isn’t good enough. I couldn’t stand seeing the look on your face.�
Avren lay down beside me and positioned his face a few inches away from me. He waited until my crying died down before he spoke.
“Vanessa, look at me. What do you see in my face?� He stared at me with gorgeous gray eyes I could get lost in forever.
I was afraid to name what I saw in his eyes. It didn’t look like a betrayal. “I’m not sure.�
“Do you want me to tell you?�
I shook my head.
He chuckled. “Okay, Vanessa, have it your way. Can I tell you something else? You don’t have to apologize to anyone for wanting to pursue a career, especially not me. In fact, I think you should still take it.�
“What?� I couldn’t believe my ears. “But what about our work together?�
“Well, I hope we’ll finish it first.�
“And then you think I should leave.� I swallowed hard and tried not to start crying again. He wanted me to be happy, right? It should be a good thing.
Why did I feel like he was rejecting me?
“I should apologize, too.� He looked away from me. “I injected myself when you didn’t want me to. But I felt like I didn’t have a choice.�
My eyes filled with tears. “It’s okay, Avren. I understand why you did it. You’re a hero.� I punched him in the shoulder. “A stupid, self-sacrificing hero.�
He smiled and reached out to touch my cheek gently. “Vanessa, can we sit up?� I blinked back the tears and tried to smile.
I didn’t understand his tone. “Sure. Why?�
“I want to ask you something, and I want to see your face when I do it.�
That sounded weird. Avren wasn’t talking to Vanessa the scientist right now, he was talking to me — Vanessa. The solemn expression on his face made me doubt he wanted to talk about research. What could he possibly have to ask me?
We both sat up and slid back over the silky satin sheets. In a moment, we were leaning against the headboard with our feet out in front of us.
“I’m right here. You don’t have to wait.� I had to know what he was going to say.
Avren took my hand, and I glanced at him, trying to suppress the urge to run away with him. He had already stated he wanted me to go. Why was he playing around and holding my hand?
He only had to say two words before I understood where he was going. “Vanessa Dwyer…â€� He couldn’t, could he? “I can’t tell you how much I admire you.â€�
Admiration was good. One admired from a distance.
“Your brain is the sexiest thing about you. And you’re so beautiful. Your strawberry-blonde hair, green eyes, and your lips…â€� He groaned. “I love your lips.â€�
I could handle sexy, too. Avren had complimented my looks before. He looked at me like he wanted to kiss me, but he didn’t even try. Instead, he interlaced his fingers with mine.
“I don’t know when I started to love you, Vanessa, but it was a long time ago.�
I gasped. I couldn’t help it. Avren had used the L-word.
He turned to face me. “I want you to know one thing. I’m never going to stop.�
I couldn’t look away from his gray eyes. I only saw earnestness in them.
“When we first met, you were all I could think about. When I saw you at your apartment for the first time in years, looking so sexy in blue underwear, I started falling again. You were more than I had remembered.� He took my hand and kissed the back of it. “And I loved spending time with you — in the lab, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, and in our bed.�
My lips formed the words “our bed,� but I didn’t make a sound.
“I pushed you away because I was afraid you would hurt me. I’m still afraid now, but I’m not going to let it stop me. Even if you crush me again, I’ll know I gave it a shot.�
He stopped speaking as if he had run out of words. I felt overwhelmed and didn’t want to say the wrong thing. Was Avren afraid of me hurting him? What about him hurting me?
Avren had just said he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. Still, they were only words. The men who had been with my mother had promised a lot of stuff too.
I risked looking up at Avren. He looked like my silence was worrying him. He rooted around in his pocket for something and pulled it out. He dusted the band off on his pants before holding it out to me.
I took it gingerly. “What is it?� I thought I already knew the answer to my question. I had seen the other women’s arm bands and asked Gwen about it.
“It’s an Auxem wedding band. It’s supposed to go on your left arm.�
It shone in the light. “Why am I holding it in my hand?�
“Because I’m too scared to ask you to marry me and have you say no.�
Chapter Fifteen
VANESSA
I couldn’t believe it. Avren wanted me to marry him.
My heart spilled over. Avren loved me. He had never talked marriage before.
I had always assumed he cared about me but didn’t really love me. People from Auxem could only marry and bond with someone they loved.
I had been wrong. All this time, I had been wrong.
“You’re afraid, but you want to ask me?�
He nodded slowly. “With all my heart. Do you think I should?� I could see the fear of rejection in his eyes.
I wanted him to love me and marry me more than life itself.
�
�Yes, please.�
Avren’s face looked startled for a moment. I knew he had been hoping for affirmation but hadn’t let himself get carried away. He took the band from me and held it up. “Vanessa Dwyer, will you marry me and be my bond mate?�
Bond mates lasted for life. He would never leave me. It wasn’t in his nature. A small platinum band had eradicated my biggest fear.
“I will, Avren. Of course, I will.� Tears spilled down my cheeks again. Avren took me into his arms and hugged me tightly. He sat back and began to slide the band onto my arm, but hesitated before it touched me.
“Once the band is on your upper arm, it will fuse to your skin. You won’t be able to remove it without surgery.�
“Are you trying to tell me it’s permanent?� The circlet would mark me as Avren’s forever. “Just like our marriage?�
“It lasts forever.�
“Good.� I held out my arm for him. “Mark me as yours, Madellan.�
We might not have forever, but we would have three days of perfection, at least.
I tapped my fingers nervously against the silk wedding dress as I waited for Avren to arrive.
I refused to let him take his wings out for the first time at the ceremony and possibly drop dead. If he were going to keel over, it would be in private with me by his side — right before the most important event of my life. He said we should get married first. But I wasn’t willing to grieve in front of everyone.
And if he died, it wouldn’t matter when we married. He would be dead either way.
The door opened, and he came in, without a shirt and slightly mussed hair. His gray eyes cut straight into me. Avren walked up and kissed me. Once he let me catch my breath, I put my hand to my chest, overwhelmed with emotion.
“I love you, Vanessa.� He took my hand.
“I love you, too.� I wanted to memorize everything about this moment. I wondered if it was the last time we would kiss. Everything he said might be the last words he would ever speak. He stepped back and gazed at me solemnly before giving me a nervous smile.
“Safe flight.� He deployed his wings without a moment’s hesitation.
I cringed and closed my eyes, afraid of what I might see. I listened for a moment and heard a gentle rustling. I opened my eyes. I had heard the sound of Avren’s wings. He was moving them gently and testing them. He had a look of wonder on his face.
“How does it feel?� My legs wouldn’t work.
“There wasn’t any pain.� He shook his head. “Unbelievable. How long do we have to wait?�
Avren was asking me something he already knew. He seemed transfixed by his wings as if seeing them for the first time.
“Taking them out was the trigger. If you’re still standing, you’re going to live, Madellan.�
One corner of his mouth snuck up, and he gave me a warm, loving gaze. “We did it, Vanessa!� He picked me up and spun me around the way he had when I had agreed to help him with the research in the beginning.
I loved it. And I loved Avren.
“Allex is going to be free. Everyone else, too.� Avren’s smile was so wide that I thought it might split his face. “You don’t know what this means to us, Vanessa.� He gathered me up in his arms, wrapping his wings around us, and kissed me until I had to push him back. I wasn’t going to bond with him ten minutes before our wedding ceremony in the dressing room.
“Is it different?� I needed to talk about something, so I could forget how much I wanted to jump his bones.
“I feel like I’m a teenager and my wings just emerged. It’s like I’ve never seen them before. The pain was clouding my mind before. I can fly, Vanessa!� He jumped in the air and flew up to the high, vaulted ceiling, touching it with his hand before coming gently back down to the ground.
“You’re unbelievable.� I went over to him and gave him a tight squeeze.
“So are you, my sweet scientist. Let’s get married.� He bent over and whispered in my ear. “Because I can’t wait to fuck you until you scream.�
I shivered. Neither could I.
“Let’s do it, then. Let’s get married, Madellan.�
I held out my hand, and he took it, leading me to our new life together.
AVREN
The wedding ceremony had been more emotional than I’d expected. I understood my brothers’ reactions at their weddings; it was terrifying to swear to love and protect one woman for the rest of your life. I sensed there was more at stake for my wedding — everyone was waiting to see the test results.
Vanessa looked gorgeous in her white Earth wedding dress. We were allowed a single chaste kiss during the ceremony, but it wasn’t enough for me. I had waited as patiently as I could for the reception and party to finish and the bonding to start.
I knew Vanessa was nervous. Had the other women had told her exactly what happens to males when we take out our wings? The Auxem followed a particular sequence of events for the bonding ritual — I had to have my wings active the first two times I fucked her.
She had never seen that my cock grew bigger when my wings were out, and we had to fuck at least two times with them deployed. It had to do with the increased blood circulation needed in our bodies. My brothers had warned me Vanessa would be taken aback the first time she saw me, and they recommended I warn her, but I had a feeling the other women had already discussed things. As we walked back to the bridal chamber in the summer palace, I worried about what we were going to do.
“Hey, Madellan.�
“Yeah?�
“What’s wrong?�
“Nothing.� I peeked at her. “Okay, okay. I’m a little nervous. I want everything to be perfect today, and I’m afraid I’ll screw something up.�
“I hope you’ll screw something.� She glanced at me and gave me a happy grin. “You don’t have to worry, Avren. We’ll sort everything out. We’ve been intimate before.�
“I know, but this is something different.�
“Stop worrying so much.� We entered the bridal suite together. Her jaw dropped open when she saw the stone altar in the middle of the room. “What the hell is that?�
“It’s where I’m going to sacrifice you to my carnal desires. Getting worried yet?�
She smiled, and I felt some of the tension leave my body. Her eyes heated and the anxiety melted away.
“Do you promise?� Vanessa dropped her eyes to my crotch, watching my cock start to grow at the thought of finally fucking her.
“No more promises.� I stepped closer to her. “It’s time for action, not words.�
She cupped my bulge. “How much do you love me, by the way?�
“Several inches at least.� She tried to free me from my pants. “Vanessa, we have to follow certain rules.�
“Oh, that’s right.� Vanessa took her hand away immediately.
“You’re not in charge tonight.�
Vanessa looked surprised by the thought. Her expression turned to intrigue and excitement.
We kissed for a long time, exploring each other’s mouths. I wasn’t going to rush anything. We had all night with each other, and I had waited a long time to take her.
Soon my hands were on her breasts and in her panties. She came like this, and then came again with my head under her dress and my mouth on her pussy. I wanted to make sure she was well satisfied before we got to the main event. I wasn’t sure how long I could hold it.
“Avren, that’s e
nough. I’m empty. I need you to get inside me.�
All my brothers told me they had deployed their wings in private on their wedding night so their wives wouldn’t be terrified. But there was no need to hide anything tonight. I stood up and unfurled my wings, standing tall and proud. She stared at me in amazement.
She whispered now. “No pain. You’re both incredible and foolish. I love you so much.� She wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest. “I can’t believe you risked your life to be the first test subject.�
“It wasn’t just for you and my family. It was for our children, too.�
Her eyes got big and round at the idea we might start our family tonight.
“Let’s do this, Madellan.� She pulled down my pants impatiently.
When I sprang free, she froze in shock.
“I forgot to tell you something.â€� I guess the ladies hadn’t told her, after all.
“You certainly did.� She turned her head to gaze at me.
“Auxem men are a little bigger when our wings are out.�
“A little bigger?� She looked like she might faint. “I’m afraid it’s not going to fit.�
“I’m told every woman says that. Priya’s the same size as you, and she and Allex didn’t have any trouble. Your body will accommodate me, I promise.�
“Avren, I don’t know if I can.�
“Are we getting divorced already?�
“Of course not. But can’t you put your wings away so we can fuck like humans?�
“I’m not human, Vanessa, and it’s part of the bond. For now, let’s just snuggle. There’s no pressure. When you’re ready, we’ll do it.�
“Okay.� She let me lead her over to the bed. I undressed her slowly before taking off my pants. I curled my body around hers and used my wings to create a soft white cocoon around us.
