Biting the Christmas Biscuit
“Ladies and gentlemen, we will be landing in New York in approximately fifteen minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts.”
Eli had been gazing out the window at a nebulous nothing for the past few hours but now saw what appeared to be a carpet of stars rising up to meet them. He glanced at Alec sleeping peacefully beside him and wished he had been able to do the same. An open magazine rested in his boyfriend’s lap, and his glasses sat atop his head as he snored lightly.
Eli reached over, put the magazine away, and fastened Alec’s seatbelt gently enough to leave him undisturbed. He had to smile. This man can sleep anywhere. He turned back to his window and noticed the city lights below them appeared even larger. His stomach twisted into a knot as he tried to remember why he had agreed to this trip.
Their friends back in London were either busy with their families or fleeing the country to avoid their families. His mother invited the two of them to Christmas dinner, but his stepfather put a stop to it, making it clear that “her defective son” was not welcome in his house, and she lacked the backbone to say otherwise.
In Alec’s case, his parents had written him off years ago. Despite the fact that their only boy had become a psychologist and bestselling author, there would be no eggnog waiting for them at their place in West Virginia. Lastly, Alec’s sister invited them to join her family at Disneyland for the holidays, but both of them had shuddered at the thought.
Alec stirred slightly as the plane made another steep turn and descended ever closer to the runway.
They had briefly considered staying in London—just the two of them, until Beverly Tucker called. She attempted to lure them with promises of good food, fun, and family insanity. And that’s what this was. The more Eli thought about it, the more he wished he could turn this airplane around, but they were committed now… or should have been.
When he had politely refused for the second time, Mrs. Tucker came at him with “but we miss you, boy.” That had given him pause and she barreled forward. “When you were with my son, you became part of this family whether you like it or not.” He had countered with “I can’t leave Alec at Christmas.” She parried with “Bring him! He’s more than welcome, and from what you’ve told me this past year, he could use this as much as you.”
Eli ended the call by assuring her he would see how Alec felt about it, not believing for a second he would agree to go. He was convinced his boyfriend would laugh in his face when he suggested they spend the holidays with his dead partner’s family, but Alec hadn’t laughed, and here they were.
The plane landed roughly, racing along the runway, and startling Alec awake. “Whaaa?” he asked, looking around nervously.
Eli smiled. “We’re here, love.”
Alec stretched languidly and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before placing his glasses back on his face and bringing his world back into focus. “Damn, that was faster than I expected,” he said with a yawn and running his fingers through his hair.
Eli was busy checking his trouser and jacket pockets to make sure all was where it should be. He didn’t want to leave anything behind. “Well, it’s been a while since you’ve flown home,” he said. “I’m not surprised you’re surprised.”
“Mr. Burke,” a flight attendant said as she materialized beside them. “Once we taxi to the gate, if you and Mr. Sumner will follow me, please, you may disembark at the front.”
“Thank you,” Eli said absently, never raising his eyes to hers.
“Will you need any other type of assistance?” she asked.
“No, thank you,” Alec said. “I’ll carry our bags, and he has his cane.”
The attendant nodded briskly and went to her station by the intercom. “Ladies and gentlemen, please remain seated until the plane has come to a complete stop and thank you for flying British Airways,” she announced.
They had been sitting on their coats, and Eli held Alec’s open so that he could struggle into it. Alec returned the favor and unfastened his seatbelt. He sat a bit forward in his seat, ready to leap to his feet and grab their bags from the overhead compartment the instant he was allowed. Eli quickly buttoned up his coat to the neck as he looked out at the falling snow that coated the ground. He put on his ball cap and then gloves, took hold of his cane, and simply waited as the terminal grew larger in the window. What are we doing?
* * *
Alec quickly became uncomfortable with Eli’s silence as their taxi crawled toward the Tucker home on the precariously icy streets of New York. He had to admit he was eager to meet them. Bennett Tucker had been dead nearly two years when Alec first met Eli. He had found him broken and tormented by the loss, and it took an immense amount of patience to get past the defenses Eli had erected around himself and his heart, but Alec had done it.
During that time he learned a lot about the man Bennett had been. He learned how beloved he was among his friends—now Alec’s friends. Most importantly, he grew to understand what he had meant to Eli. Looking out the taxi window at the nearly deserted streets, he recalled how difficult it had been to compete with a ghost.
Now his boyfriend’s silence had him rethinking this trip. Was he thinking of Bennett? How could he not? We’re spending Christmas with his parents! As a psychologist, he understood very well what made people tick, but right now, looking at Eli, he had no idea what was ticking inside Eli and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He watched him absently massage his bad leg.
“Is it hurting?” Alec asked softly. “Being out in this weather probably isn’t so good for it.”
Eli turned to him as if he’d forgotten he was in the car. “Pardon?”
“Your leg.”
He glanced down at his right leg and smiled. “Oh, it’s not too bad. Don’t worry.” Eli removed his cap and scratched his shaggy brown head vigorously. “I wish I’d gotten a trim before leaving.” He ran his hand along his cheek. “And maybe a shave.” He fell silent again and turned back to his window. Alec sighed and did the same.
“Why did you agree to this?” Eli asked suddenly. He didn’t look at Alec right away. He was busy watching as they turned onto a street in a more upscale neighborhood. The streets had gradually grown wider, and there were now manicured lawns and grand homes illuminated with holiday lights and tasteful decorations.
He had not answered and Eli turned to look at him. “I… I wanted to….” Alec’s words failed him. “Why did you agree to this, Eli?” he asked quickly in defense. “It can’t be any more comfortable for you.”
Eli thought about it for a few moments. His soulful blue eyes blinked slowly at Alec in the dark backseat of the taxi. “I guess I missed them,” he said quietly. He sighed. “They’re not like our families.”
“How so?” Alec asked.
When Bennett was alive, traveling to New York with him to visit his family had become like visiting another planet. The Tuckers were loud, crazy, and loving. Eli felt more welcome in their home than he did in his own, and he could hardly get enough of them. They embraced him because their son loved him and because he loved their son.
However, three years ago he had watched helplessly as Bennett was beaten to death in a London alley. He’d nearly died, as well, and after waking up in the hospital, there were many times he wished he had. He had suffered broken ribs, internal bleeding, a shattered leg, cracked eye socket, broken nose, broken jaw, and scars—lots of scars, the worst of which was waking up without his lover.
He glanced at Alec and smiled. “Let’s just say that Mr. and Mrs. Tucker never forgot to bite the Christmas biscuit.”
“I’m sorry?” Alec asked, more confused than ever.
The cab crept along and Eli cou
ld see the Tucker home at the end of the street. “At Christmas they made sure there was always a glass of milk and a plate of biscuits, or- or cookies rather, set out for St. Nick. In the morning, when the Tucker kids came downstairs, there would be only half a glass of milk….”
“And a single bite taken out of one of the cookies,” Alec concluded with a smile.
Eli nodded, then reached out, and took his hand. “My Christmas mornings weren’t like that.”
“Nor mine,” Alec said. “We had a version of it, but it was more about appearances for my mother than any desire to delight her children.”
“What did she do?”
“She bought the cookies, set them out with milk, and added a tiny card that read: For Santa.” Eli smiled at him, waiting for more. “Her perfect little display sat there throughout her yearly Christmas party and then got thrown out after everyone left.” He smiled sadly as he remembered.
The car stopped in front of a large brick house trimmed in tiny, blinking white lights. In the front yard, two decorative pines were strung with matching lights and topped with giant red velvet bows. There were large crystal candles marking the stairs that led to the front door. Alec choked up a bit over such a perfect picture while Eli paid the driver. They exited the vehicle and collected their bags from the trunk.
The snow crunched under its tires as the taxi carefully drove away, leaving them standing by the curb and staring up at a life-sized Christmas card that was the Tucker home. Alec had their luggage while Eli carried two shopping bags of wrapped gifts.
The snowfall had grown heavier, and it was so quiet out that they could almost hear the flakes whisper as they joined their brethren on the ground. They looked at each other and silently considered fleeing, maybe even finding a hotel, but the inviting warmth pouring off the house was not to be resisted and they each took a simultaneous and tentative step forward.
“Now tell me again, who’s who,” Alec said as they approached warily.
Eli was watching where he placed his cane for fear of slipping. “Well, there’s Beverly and Sean, Bennett’s parents; Carmondy and probably her little girl Leah: his sister and niece—she’s five now, I think, and then there’s his brother, Arthur, and his wife and son.” As they neared the house, a great roar erupted from inside, followed closely by raucous laughter. They paused and looked uncertainly at one another again. “Could be more,” Eli said shakily and smiled.
“Any suggestions?”
They climbed the front steps carefully. Alec supported Eli by holding tightly to his left arm while he pushed himself up with his cane. “Suggestions?” Eli repeated right before ringing the doorbell. “Just accept it.”
“Huh?”
“The love,” he said and smiled, hoping that hadn’t sounded too corny. “Believe me, I felt awkward around them at first. It takes getting used to, but eventually they wear you down, so just accept it. They’re for real.” The door opened and they were bathed in light as a multitude of voices shouted, “Eli!” For a moment, Alec thought he saw tears in his boyfriend’s eyes.
A few minutes later, Eli found himself alone in the kitchen with Mrs. Tucker and Carmondy. He struggled to keep up with Beverly’s constantly changing emotions as she welcomed him back.
“Just look at you!” she exclaimed. “So handsome!” She gazed into his eyes. “Your hair’s a bit longer than I remember, and you have a tiny bit of fuzz on your face, but those lovely eyes of yours. So very handsome! I can see how you caught my boy’s eye!”
Despite her somewhat biased opinion, her assessment was accurate. Thanks to excellent doctors, Eli remained beautiful despite the beating he’d survived. His facial scars were mere ghosts of what they had been, but the scar running the length of his leg was another matter. It remained dark and angry.
“Thank you, Beverly,” he managed between rib-bending embraces. “But I never understood what Bennett saw in me. I’m a runt, I’m pale, and I have eyes like Gollum.” They all laughed.
“Nonsense, nonsense!” Beverly said. She fell silent and rested her hand against his face, gazing at him. This was followed by much more hugging. She didn’t seem to want to let him go.
“Not so rough, Mom; you’ll knock him off his feet,” Carmondy warned. “How are you, Eli? Good flight?”
He looked at her and saw she had the same mixture of sadness and joy in her eyes as he felt. “I’m fine, thanks,” he sighed, looking around for Alec, “but I seem to have lost my boy—” He stopped himself and looked at them, embarrassed. “I d-don’t know where Alec’s gotten to.”
Carmondy looked into the other room and saw Alec surrounded by a well-lubricated group of revelers including her father. The elder Tucker appeared to be telling a highly inappropriate joke, if the expression on Alec’s face was any indication. He was smiling but seemed overwhelmed and not a little bit frightened.
“He’s in there by the fire,” Carmondy said. “Dad has him cornered, I’m afraid.”
“Your father just wants him to feel welcome,” her mother explained. “After all, he doesn’t know any of us yet.”
“By the way, thank you, all of you,” Eli said, “for including him in your invitation.”
“You’re welcome, dear,” Beverly said, and then she glanced at his hair again. “You know, while you’re here, I’d be happy to give you a trim.” She reached for his head, but he squirmed away playfully.
“No, thanks, Beverly,” he said. “I have a regular in London who cuts it, just didn’t have time before we left.” He turned and searched the faces in the other room. “Are Arthur and his family here?”
“Art and little Ian are here,” Carmondy said. “Mandy won’t be here until later. She’s on call at the hospital.”
“Rough night for it,” Eli said, “with the holidays and all.”
“Absolutely,” Beverly said. “The crazies do come out at this time of year. Would you like a drink, Eli?”
“That would be great.”
“There you are, son!” Mr. Tucker bellowed as he crept up behind Eli and wrapped his arms around him, lifting him clear off the floor. For a big man, he could move like a cat.
“Sean Patrick Tucker! Put him down this instant!” Beverly shouted.
“Sorry, dear. Sorry,” he apologized quickly and set a startled Eli back on his feet. Alec was suddenly there next to him. He hovered protectively as Eli regained his bearings and accepted his drink from Beverly.
“I found your man by the fire, boy,” Mr. Tucker said, slapping Alec painfully on the arm. “He’s a bit quiet, but a looker nonetheless.”
Eli choked on his vodka and laughed out loud. “Well, thank you, sir. I’m sure he appreciates that.” They were all smiling at one another, and then an awkward silence fell as the Tuckers took note of Alec’s closeness to Eli. They witnessed the handsome couple they made, each fit and handsome in his own way. Eli was about an inch shorter than Alec, and they were both built more like swimmers than ex-football players. Slight, not broad-shouldered like Mr. Tucker.
“I’m sorry, everyone,” Eli said, breaking the silence, “this is Alec Sumner. Alec, these are the Tuckers, although I’m not sure where Arthur is,” he added, looking around.
“I’m here, right here,” Arthur said entering the kitchen just as he heard his name. He was carrying his toddler, Ian. “Good to meet you, Alec. Welcome.”
“Thank you,” Alec said, shaking his hand. “And who’s this little man?”
“This is Ian. Say hi, son.” Arthur was encouraging, but Ian demurred and simply rested his head on his father’s shoulder. He fixed Alec with his large, dark brown eyes. They seemed to ask, “Who are you and what are you doing here?”
Alec smiled at the boy. I don’t know, little man. I don’t know.
“Sean, you’re swaying, dear,” Beverly said to her husband. “Perhaps you’d better find a seat.” She turned to Alec. “Let me show you where you two will be sleeping,” she said as she took him by the arm and hustled him out of the kitchen and down the
hallway. He glanced back nervously at Eli who simply grinned and nodded. “What is it you do, my boy?” she asked as they vanished around the corner.
“I have to give this little one his bath before the wife shows up,” Arthur said. “Sis, you want me to take care of Leah?”
“I’d love you forever,” she said.
“Consider it done. Where is she?”
“I’m sure you’ll find her under the tree rattling packages.”
Arthur carried Ian out of the room. The baby smiled at Eli before he lost sight of them.
“Let’s sit, shall we?” Carmondy asked. She and Eli moved toward the kitchen table as Mr. Tucker grabbed another beer from the fridge and wandered back into the great room where he was greeted with cheers from the crowd.
“They’ll be singing soon,” Eli said with a smile.
“Good thing they all live in the neighborhood… no driving,” she said.
He toyed with his drink, slowly turning the glass on the table as he stared at the ice cubes. Carmondy watched him, trying to read him. “How are you really?” she asked.
He looked at her and sighed. “I’m fine.” His gaze traveled around the kitchen. “I mean, I’m glad to be here, glad to see you and everyone….” His voice trailed away.
“But?” she asked. He simply shook his head and finished his drink. “Alec seems nice,” she said.
“Oh, he’s brilliant!” Eli said with a smile, his eyes lighting up, but just as quickly, the light went out in them. They laughed uncomfortably.
“Not sure what to say to me, huh?”
“I loved Bennett,” he whispered. He looked at her, “You loved him.”
“Still do, buddy, and for what it’s worth, I believe you always will, but he’s your past and Alec’s your future.”
Eli didn’t say anything, but he felt like he was tearing in half. “Maybe it was too soon to come here with Alec,” Eli said with a sigh.
Carmondy reached across the table and took his hand. “I’m sure being here brings up a lot of feelings that are easier to avoid in London, but Eli, you can miss Bennett and love Alec. The two are not mutually exclusive.” He smiled gratefully at her.
Biting the Christmas Biscuit Page 1
