“With what?”
“Brecklynn is moving in this weekend.” He nods to the house next door. “Since they have the extra room, they converted it to a home studio for them to share. We have some equipment to put together.”
So much has changed. Last Christmas Deacon made Saylor’s dreams come true by having their basement finished. She lives with him, so Emberlee and Avery were going to convert it to a home gym . . . didn’t happen. Another one bit the dust and Lee Lee and Brody are purchasing the house a street over . . . so Brecklynn and Avery are sharing the house next door. Both of them artsy with Avery’s painting and Doll’s photography, they’ll be a perfect pair.
“Figures. She’d move next fucking door as soon as she dumps me.” I sound like a whiny douche.
“See if they have some tampons you can borrow.” I flip him off. “Get your ass in gear.”
I shuffle behind him— odd because I want to sprint. I want to see her beautiful smile, I want to hear her laugh, I want to feel her skin . . . but none of those are mine any longer.
Girlish giggles greet us, and it doesn’t wash through me and calm my temper. I hear her and Avery laughing, joking, music playing . . . and I’ve been sitting home licking my wounds.
“I love that. Brody said he’d build a dark room in this area for me so I can play with developing, but it shouldn’t bother your light.” Her voice still warms me.
“Okay. If the basement would be better you can take a space there,” Avery answers her.
“I’ll have to do some research and see where the best place would be. Thanks.”
“Don’t thank me, it’s your house, too,” Avery reassures her.
“Pillow Fights! Pajama Parties!” Caden squeals, raising his voice a few octaves.
“You’re so stupid.” Avery chucks a brush at him.
“What do you need us to do?” He tugs her hair and she rests her head against his shoulder.
“Brody had to work so he dropped the furniture in my old room. I took the master and we’re using this room for a studio.” She smacks his ass. “Get to work.”
The air has gotten thick and Brecklynn and I are silent. Our eyes are staring. Our lips aren’t moving. “Hey, Breck.” She waves. I see we’ve digressed. We aren’t using one words. We’re using zero words. Or she is. “Hey Mason. How are you?” I mock her voice. “I’m good. Thanks for asking. I miss you.” I revert to my normal tone. I narrow my eyes and cock my head. “See, Doll. That’s a normal conversation. We use to have them all the time.”
“I’m sure your lips have been busy with other things.” Her snark still makes me rock hard.
“Again with your assumptions. ASS-outta-U-and-ME.” I turn and leave the room so I can get to work on her shit and bolt. I don’t need this bullshit. She won’t destroy Mason fucking Adler.
I grab the toolbox they keep under the kitchen sink and start putting her bed together . . . one I won’t have the option to grace. I resist the urge to throw the screwdriver through the drywall.
“Hey.” Her melodic voice washes over me. I drop to my ass and sit there. “Sorry about back there. I’m not handling this well.”
“Join the club,” I affirm.
“What do we do?” The tremor in her voice kills me.
“We could pretend the last few weeks didn’t happen.” I offered.
“Mason . . .”
“What? Your reasoning is stupid. You didn’t give us a chance.” I’m belligerent and willing to coerce her to listen to me.
“Falling in love with you isn’t giving us a chance? I’m sorry. I hurt, too, but I know myself well enough. I can’t trust you.”
“I didn’t give you a reason not to. Fine, Brecklynn. We’ll play this your way. But you’re throwing away the best thing that happened to you.” I stand. Fuck this. Caden can put her shit together.
Before I cross the threshold she whimpers. “I know.”
That’s my breaking point.
My ending.
She knows but isn’t willing to fix it.
Sunday dinners were my favorite thing. Tonight I walk in with tense shoulders because I don’t want to see her, but her and Avery’s house is where it’s being held. Maybe I can talk Caden into hitting a bar or something afterwards so I can unwind.
Plopping down to the couch I take note Brecklynn isn’t here. “She has a photo shoot for her new job.” Saylor leans in to whisper. I tug her hair and wink.
Dinner is a free for all, everyone talking and laughing, but I can’t get invested. “We want you to know . . . we’re having a girl.” Deacon beams. Fuck. Brody and Emberlee told us last week they’re having a girl, add Julie and this little one and I’m screwed.
“Shit. Do they have seeds for lollipops?” I need to know this information.
“Pop, Unc Mace.” Julie smiles and reaches for me while Deacon holds her against his hip.
“You’re an a-s-s,” Saylor seethes. “And lollipops are candy. They don’t sprout from the ground, you buffoon.”
“Foon,” Julie repeats. Little parrot.
“Well, I need to stock up. Three princesses to wear me down.” I love it. I may act like it’s a hardship, but Julie has me wrapped.
“I have an idea, Mason. Learn the word no. I don’t want my kid filled up on candy.” Brody puffs his chest up and I have a few comebacks but I refrain for peace keeping. Besides, it isn’t his fault his sister is spoiled— insert sarcasm.
“They have tears. Real tears. If you say no they use them. It hurts, man. You can’t tell them no. They’re princesses.” He’s clueless, so I’m sharing my wealth of knowledge. I can’t wait to see the first time his little girl cries . . . he’ll need to be sedated.
“Effing Matilda,” Saylor flips her crazy switch and it rivals Emberlee’s of late. They can go from meek to mad in zero seconds— thank you pregnancy hormones.
“Ilda.” Julie’s giggle and squeals squeeze my heart.
“S-H-I-T!” Saylor shrieks. She’s the one to blame but her yell is aimed at me. I didn’t say a word except wondering how to grow a lollipop farm.
“Shortstop. A cuss word isn’t going to kill her,” Deacon tries to reason . . . and I fear for him.
“Oh yeah, Mr. Hotshot baseball player. You don’t have to pick her up from daycare and learn she said a new cuss word. No thank you.” Her hand meets his chest and Julie mimics her. Nice, Shortstop. You’re teaching her violence and worried she’s gonna repeat a word she doesn’t know the meaning to.
“And by daycare you mean your mother-in-law? That big scary lady.” I make fun of her, which cues the waterworks that competes with a fucking monsoon. She attempts to run from the room, but it’s more of a waddle. I’ll keep that tidbit to myself.
“Nice job, dickhead.” Deacon hands Julie to Lee Lee as she is miming ‘dick’ over and over.
“I’m outta here.” I haul ass to avoid drama I didn’t cause or want to be a part of.
I open the door and barrel into Brecklynn. My reaction is to catch her before she falls and my hands tingle where I’m touching her. “Whoa.” She tries to smile, but it’s forced.
“Sorry,” I murmur and pass by her without a glance. I’ll be hitting the bar by myself.
I’m sipping my coffee debating calling my mom for some good ole’ advice and coddling. I’m burying myself in work, avoiding the house so I don’t catch a glimpse of him, but avoiding him on campus is harder. The girls who flaunt themselves at him, the attention he eats up without sparing me a glance. I decide to wait the few weeks until Christmas and I can talk to my mom in person. I need her arms holding me and I need to be weak for a minute.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Avery startles me. She curls into the couch and stares.
“Just thinking I can’t wait to see my mom.” She nods.
“I can’t imagine. You know I’m here to talk if you need an ear.”
“I know, Avery. But it’s a precarious situation— one I shouldn’t have created.” I admit. I feel I’m causing a riff so I just avoi
d everyone.
“I don’t understand. He was head over heels for you.”
“I loved him.” It feels wrong we’re discussing Mason and I in past tense, but that’s what we are . . . past.
“I want to pry it from you, but I’m trying to respect your wishes.” She gets up and returns with her own coffee. “I promise you can tell me.” She bats her eyes at me. “Does he have a small dick? Suck in bed? Have issues with keeping it up?” She’s salivating for dirt to torment him with.
I laugh at her scandalous revelations. “No. No. And no. It wasn’t him. I have no idea how to be in a relationship. He has no idea how to be committed and rumors, innuendos, social media— it started making me crazy.”
“That isn’t fair!” She doesn’t mean to shout at me . . . I hope. “Mason’s always been a player I’ll admit that, but he’s fucking loyal to those he loves, and if he wanted you to trust him he meant to protect you and wouldn’t have hurt you.”
I want this interrogation to be over. “So where are you disappearing to? I hear you sneak outta the house, or you don’t come home after your studio time.” I waggle my eyebrows at her and watch her face tinge with red and heat.
She’s saved by the door slamming and tears of my future sister-in-law. “Whoa, Lee Lee. What’s gotten into you— besides Brody’s sperm?” I choke, the coffee I tried to swallow is burning my nose because of Avery’s humor.
I’m pretty sure Emberlee releases a growl and death look. As Avery holds her hands up in surrender, I watch Lee Lee collapse in her arms, sobbing and inconsolable. I shoot my brother a text and let him know she’s safe but to stay home. “I’m getting sleavage!” She howls in Avery’s shoulder and wipes her nose on the material.
“Did you wipe your snot on me?” Avery’s indignation is laced with absurdity, and I chortle at their dynamic.
“Yeah. It’s a really cute top, and I hate you for wearing it in front of me.” That girl is ruthless while she’s carrying a tiny human.
“Holy shit, you’re as bad as Saylor. I’m thinking I should study abroad.” Avery pushes her to the other side of the couch.
“I thought that once. Didn’t work so well for me, so best of luck.” Her eyes target me and it’s like she becomes a bull staring at a red cloth.
“Ugh, why do you have to look like your brother?” she spits at me.
“I don’t at all, but glad to know the root of your issues this morning. What’d he do?” My brother has got to learn to tread light with her. She’s a wild card.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” All of a sudden she wants to clam up.
“I just Googled sleavage. You can get Brody to show you how to use light weights to tone your arms.” Avery announces with pride but this conversation is going to take a scary curve in three . . . two . . . one.
“So you agree? I have sleavage.” She chokes the last words amid sobs. I bore witness to the coffee-gate scandal, and it was frightening.
“No. You were complaining, I was coming up with a solution. You’re beautiful, Lee Lee.” Avery alternates rubbing her back and petting her hair . . . next she’ll ask Lee Lee to fetch and roll over.
“Stop petting me unless you want me to bite.” That ship sailed, Emberlee. But thanks for the warning.
“Jeez. Four months left to endure this rollercoaster.” Avery sighs. “I think you and Saylor are like birth control on steroids.”
“It’s like playing Wheel of Attitude. You don’t know what you’re gonna get when you spin.” I add my opinion . . . but opinions are like Assholes. Every one has one and the stench they omit is overwhelming at times.
“So how are you and Mason?” She hits below the belt and I flinch . . . but keeps it real.
“Oh, that ship sailed to Fuck It Mountain. His ball bitches try my patience, and I don’t have time to deal.” I step back and deliver the punch to my heart that slices each time I admit we aren’t together.
“Who decided this? And ball bitches?” She’s tenacious when she wants information— I know she’ll continue to pepper me with questions.
“I decided. He isn’t happy.” She was there at my worst and I don’t know why she continues to bring it up. “And ball bitches— baseball chasers. They’re fucking everywhere. Like crotch spiders.” Avery and Emberlee laugh at my description, but they don’t get it.
Lee Lee has my brother and niece. He’d move Heaven and Earth. While their past isn’t pretty, they didn’t have the same challenges I face. Avery is single and unless she has a secret lover she doesn’t get it.
“Holy shit. Mason wanted a girlfriend, and Brecklynn broke his heart,” Avery teases and I avoid their looks.
“Avery— stop. Mason is our friend. He’s upset,” Emberlee chastises her, and it makes me feel lower than dirt.
“And I’m not? You try dealing with the girls everywhere. At all times.” My chest hurts and it’s like I’m being blamed for something I can’t fix.
“I don’t know, Breck. Are you upset? If he said he wanted you— take him at his word. He doesn’t lie.” She’s one to lecture me; she had Brody jumping through hoops.
“I didn’t say he was lying. But I know me. I’m jealous as hell, and I was creating drama and fights that weren’t his fault, but I can’t deal with his past. I’m being honest.” Is it a crime to ask for some understanding? “Yes, I am upset.” I allow a few tears to shed, and I’m angry for the weakness.
Both she and Avery form a barrier, holding me, and Avery treats me like Fido while Lee Lee rubs soothing circles against my back. I use my own shirt for wiping my nose and should have defended Avery’s honor and used Emberlee’s shirt.
Soon we’re cried dry and stuffed with sugar and milk— code for ice cream. Lee Lee falls asleep so I call my brother. He shows up in two minutes and I watch him study her as she sleeps.
“You okay?” I question.
“Yeah. Just a lot of adjustments, and I wonder if I’m failing her. The baby.” I’ve never seen my brother anything other than in charge and comfortable in his decisions.
“You aren’t. She loves you. You love her and you’ll be an amazing parent. Both of you will.” I pat the couch and curl up to him when he sits down.
“I haven’t seen you much. You doing okay?”
“Busy with work. I can buy my own shit without asking you and mom. I’m okay.” I sigh.
“Breck, I know it’s been a lot in a few months for you. Don’t forget I’m here for you.”
“I know. I hate you.”
He kisses my head. “Hate you more. But I think you started to hate Mason.” He squeezes me to his chest.
“I really really hate him,” I admit.
“Fix it,” he implores.
“I am. My way. Don’t jump on the bandwagon. I’ve been chastised enough today.”
“I just want you happy.”
“I know, Brody. And I am.”
“You suck at lying,” he teases.
“Please,” I scoff. “You have no idea half the shit I did. I’m excellent at lying. But maybe I need help with this burden.”
“Then pile it on baby girl. I’ll carry your load.” I know he would but this is one weight I need to distribute myself. “I took another job, but if you need something, don’t feel I don’t have time for you.”
“Brody.” I hug him. “Don’t stress yourself. You’ve always told me things will work how they’re supposed to and I believed you all those years. Believe me when I tell you the same. Things will be fine.”
He leaves with his girl in his arms, and I get ready to head to the studio.
“Brecklynn, can you come to the office for a minute?” I run through the day before in my head to wonder if I could have fucked up somehow.
“Yes, ma’am.” Ms. Silver is sitting at her desk looking over some photos.
“Do you know why I hired you?”
“Because you don’t like kids?” I’m semi-joshing her. I do get all the family portraits, but I’m the newbie doing grunt work. Proving
I was worth the chance she took.
“You came highly recommended from your professor with having no formal training. To the untrained eye, your images were stunning. To mine— I could see flaws, but your raw talent outweighed those. You’ve taken critiques and applied them. I dare say you’re a natural.” I’m biting my lip in order to keep my jaw from falling open.
“T-th-thank you,” I manage to stammer.
“No, Brecklynn. You don’t need to thank me. All you’ve done in the few months I’ve had you is all you. I have an opportunity for you over Spring Break.” I nod. “Do you have a passport?”
I swallow my nerves. “No ma’am.”
“You have plenty of time, but I need you to start the process if you want to go. I have a friend that works for humanitarian efforts and needs a photojournalist assistant to work with him when he travels to Saipan.” I furrow my brows. “It’s an island in the Pacific, and it was hit with a typhoon. So much devastation.” She shakes her head but starts clicking her keyboard. She spins the screen towards me and explains the images I’m looking at. “This was a few weeks before the typhoon.” She points. “And this was weeks after.” I stare in wonder.
The flooding. Roads washed into the water. Buildings in rumbles. It’s a sight to see and one that tugs at my heartstrings. “Is it dangerous?” I don’t want to add stress to Brody— he’s hanging by a thread. I know I’ll spread my wings at a later date and don’t want to pass this opportunity up, but my brother is having a child.
“Not at all. It’s a commonwealth of the United States. Perfectly safe and with a passport easy to travel.”
“I’m in.” I grin and feel the excitement course through my body.
“You’ll be accompanied by Juan, the photojournalist I was discussing with you. There will be a few other assistants and interns, but he’ll set up all travel and itinerary. I’ll pass your information to him.”
I stand and try to stop myself from dancing to the back room and prep for the shoots scheduled. During my breaks with clients, I check requirements for passports and send a quick email to my mom asking when she comes at Christmas for her to bring my birth certificate. I’ll still have ten weeks to get it handled. Being a Texas girl without a lot of extra money growing up, we didn’t have a need for a passport.
Karma (Endgame Series Book 3) Page 10
