His
Copyright 2014 Dawn Robertson
First Edition
All rights reserved as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976. No part of these publications may be reproduced, distributed, transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior permission of the Author. For information regarding subsidiary rights, please contact the publisher.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Cover and Formatting by ShoutLines Design
Table of Contents
Copyright
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Epilogue
Goodbye to the Hers Series
About the Author
Other Books by Dawn
From Seven
I wish I could say this is going to be an easy story to tell. But, I’m trying my damnedest to stop lying. I’ve told far too many lies, even if they were the little white variety. Because those are the mistruths that hurt the most. That’s how I ended up where I was a year ago. I lost everything. My job, my husband, and I almost lost the most precious thing in my entire life, my daughter Marley.
Headstrong, stubborn, foolish; those are all words other people used to describe my actions. Levi most of all. Many of his words were far harsher though, but we will get into what was said, because that is the point of telling you our story. The story of us saving the love we once had, losing each other and making the painful journey back to what brought us together in the first place.
I will admit my fault, alongside the fact that I ran because that’s all I have ever known to do. How I handle personal problems. I went to the one person who has been a constant in my life, my best friend Star. Only she couldn’t help me, because much like I had moved on… she had a life of her own. Gone were the days of dropping everything for each other and I guess I’m partly to blame because I started it. I got married. I got pregnant. And I fell in love with Levi. All things I’d sworn off alongside her so many moons ago after I lost James.
I remember the day I left like it was yesterday.
“I can’t do it anymore, Seven. You said you were done, you said you were going to quit. For me, for us. For the baby. But as soon as your blood pressure went back to normal and the swelling went down, BOOM! You are back in the office.” Levi paced back and forth in front of my desk holding a stack of paperwork. His fingers run through his hair over and over again and I just shrug him off like I always do.
I can’t even tell you how many times we had the same argument. It might as well have been on replay. Lather, rinse, repeat. He was overprotective and of course, I think I am fucking invincible. But, if there is one thing this pregnancy had taught me already, it was the fact that I was very much human. Being hospitalized more than once already made that clear.
“I’m fine, Levi. See…” I point to my feet propped up on a chair next to me. “Feet elevated. No heels. Healthy snack, and TA DA! NO COFFEE!” I shouldn’t hit him with the sarcasm. It seems like every day that passes by, he is getting more and more uptight about the baby. Maybe we need one of those fancy ‘babymoons’ or something. A vacation would probably do us some good, or send him into a tailspin. I tried not to let it show, but I worried about his anxiety level. It couldn’t be healthy, but I couldn’t worry about that on top of everything else right now.
“Close the door, lock it and come over here, love.” I lick my lips and think about distracting him the best way I know how. Sex.
When it comes to his moods like this, the only way to talk him down is with a good blowjob, or something. I’ve learned to use that to my advantage when his mood turns so fucking sour.
“Not this time, Seven.” Levi drops a stack of papers onto my desk. “I can’t do this anymore. You need to get your shit together. It is me and the baby, or work. You can’t have both. It’s killing you and you are the only person who can’t see it. I won’t let you do this to us, or our daughter.” He turns for the door, but pauses. I can tell he is deep in thought. About what I have no idea, because he never fucking talks to me anymore. Our fragile relationship is crumbling, all because of this pregnancy. Little does he know that I know exactly what it has done to me and my body. Why? Because my obstetrician told me.
“In that brown envelope are…” he pauses and turns toward the door. He can’t look me in the eye and say whatever it is he is about to dump on me. I sure don’t need this bullshit today with the merger going south the way it is. “Are divorce papers. You have till the end of the week to choose. Your family… or work. You can’t have both anymore, Seven.”
And like that, he storms out of the door and I am shocked into silence. Divorce papers? Does he really want a divorce? Will Levi really leave me if I don’t stop working? All those years ago, James trusted me with the empire he built and now Levi is trying to make me choose?
My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach, and I actually feel like crying. I can’t push my emotions away, because this hurts like a motherfucker. A divorce? The man who chased me around the world to make me his. The man I avoided at all fucking costs is leaving me? If he thinks I’m going to walk away and give him a divorce, he clearly doesn’t know me very well. Seven James isn’t thrown away like last week’s whore. No fucking way.
I make the rules. I always have and I always would. I would never give up my power again. Not to him, and not to anyone else. I’m unsure of where he got the impression that he makes the rules, but clearly somewhere along the line we had a break in our communication to think this would even be an option. Maybe I should walk away. Maybe I should let him have his divorce so he knows I am the best thing that ever happened to him.
FUCK! I hate this shit.
Damned if I do and damned if I don’t. It’s the moments like this that make me regret letting my guard down enough to let him into my life in the first place. My heart is broken. My body is aching and my soul is definitely beyond repair this time. The one person I never thought would turn their back on me just did and I feel all alone in the world.
“Looks like it is just the two of us, Marley.” I rub my belly and a tear slips from my eye. Shit. I can’t fucking cry. I have a meeting in a half hour and my mascara will run. Fuck that meeting. Fuck this company. And fuck Manhattan.
“Livie, clear my schedule for the week,” I yell through the intercom, no doubt scaring the shit out of my assistant. It wouldn’t be the first time. She quickly replies canceling all my upcoming meetings and re-scheduling everything for a later time.
With or without Levi, I am leaving town. I need some peace and quiet. I need to think about everything going on. I need to think about what I want in life and put my own selfish wants to the side for once to focus on my pregnancy. I need to ask myself what James would have asked me to do, or expected me to do in this situation. Would he allow me to just walk away from it all and rule from afar? Or would be curse me for being such a weak little bitch.
Woodstock, here I come.
Past
Le
vi
She is fucking pushing my buttons. I say black. She says white. I say vanilla. She says fuckin’ chocolate. I’m losing my mind. She knows how I feel about her safety. She knows how I feel about her working after she has landed herself in the hospital two fucking times in the past month. But Seven thinks she is fucking Wonder Woman. Immune to the toxic reaction her body is having to the little girl she is carrying. It is all a joke to her, something she can micromanage from behind her expensive desk. Or from her uncomfortable hospital bed, because that is the only place she is going to end up.
I had no choice. I don’t really want a divorce. I just want her to pull her head out of her ass and take some time off, just like she said she would at Christmas. Another promise broken and more false hope of a different life.
I constantly opened up to her, explaining my fears, sharing the ghosts that haunt me, recalling the image of Cindy bleeding on the floor of the club. Except now my nightmares had Cindy’s pregnant body and my wife’s face. The crimson flowing from her body with no hope of saving the child we created together. The little girl I loved more than life itself. The little girl I would stop at nothing to protect, like a real parent should. Not like our own parents.
I’ve tried when it comes to Seven. I’ve tried everything: Bribing her, begging her, and threatening her. Nothing has worked. Nothing has changed. I feel helpless and I hate that feeling. I’m fighting and she just doesn’t care. Her selfishness is killing me.
My intercom buzzes and Seven’s assistant snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Mr. Parker?” Livie’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard. I’m unsure how Seven has tolerated her as long as she has. But, I guess the feeling must be mutual because Seven isn’t exactly boss of the year.
“Yes, Livie?” I answer and push some papers around on my desk.
“I just wanted to inform you, Ms. James-Parker has left the office on an extended vacation.” The line goes dead as my heart drops. Seven left and she didn’t even have the nerve to tell me herself? Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed her as far as I did this morning.
I grab my cell phone and dial her number, but the phone goes straight to voicemail. I realize she has turned her cell phone off, cluing me in to the fact that I am probably not the only person she is on a mission to avoid. I hate not being able to get ahold of her. This is bullshit. Pure fuckin’ childish Seven bullshit.
I love her, but she is going to drive me crazy.
“FUCK!” I scream as my fists crash onto the wood of my desk. In a fit of anger I throw everything within reach. Glass crashes against the door of my office, paperweights crash to the floor and my laptop goes airborne, only coming to a stop when it collides with the door that leads into my en suite.
I run my hands through my hair and try to take a deep breath and relax, but it’s no use. Rage isn’t something I wear well. Rage isn’t something I am familiar with at all, but damn this fucking woman for driving me into this madness.
“Mark my words Seven James: This is the last time you play me for a fool.”
“Levi, I am going to have to be honest with you. No court is going to force her to do what you want. Your requests are outlandish and if she got one of those woman’s rights attorneys, they would fry you.” Fred explains over a cup of coffee, shrugging my requests off like nothing. What is the point of a lawyer if they can’t help you?
“I pay you a lot of money. There is no way you can find a loophole to get her back home?” I plead with him.
“Parker, I don’t know what game you are playing. Last week you had me draft up divorce papers. This week you want a court to force her home on bed rest because that is what her doctor suggested. What exactly do you want?” The question of the hour hangs between us.
“Fred, I just want my wife and daughter safe. She’s a stubborn bitch no matter how you slice it and I just don’t want her or my baby to get hurt.” I hate talking about this. I hate talking about emotions or sounding like a woman. But if there is anyone I can be honest with, it is this man who has helped me through my fair share of shit. Especially with my ex-wife.
“Levi, I know you have an interesting taste in women. Your first wife was a real doozie, but Seven isn’t going to roll over for you. She is going to fight back, and if you really want her to come back, relax and do what is best for your little girl… you gotta let her do it on her own. The more you push her, the worse off you both are going to be.” Fred makes a point, but I feel so helpless I don’t want to accept what he is saying.
“I get it Fred. So you’re saying I should just leave it be?”
“Yeah, she will come home when she is ready.”
I really fucking hope so.
The thought of Seven being god knows where with god knows who just to spite me hurts. It is like a knife to the chest, one I haven’t felt since I lost both of my parents in one shot. I throw back a shot of whiskey and bask in the burn. I want to be numb. I don’t want to feel anymore. All the pain is too much for me. I should have stayed away from her in the beginning. I should have kept my activities at Sinners & Swingers casual. Damn it all to hell.
I sit back and pour another shot. And another. Until the bottle of Jameson is empty. I am trying to wash away the memory of my wife, but all I can think about is her fuckin’ smart ass mouth licking the rim of a shot glass after throwing back a shot of whiskey like a pro. Her favorite.
The image of Seven appears across the room, haunting me with her presence. She isn’t really there and I know it, but my mind wants to play these fucked up games on me. I throw the empty shot glass across the room and it crashes against the wall, shattering into thousands of pieces and covering the hard wood flooring.
“I hate my life.” I mumble as I make my way to my empty bed that smells like the fuckin’ love of my life.
I jump from our bed, shaken by the nightmare that plagued me tonight. As I stretch across the spacious mattress, I expect to feel Seven on the other side of the bed, but she is gone. I should have known better. I went to bed alone and I would continue to until she finally comes back to me.
Tonight the dream was different, more graphic than any other before. The woman lying on the floor of the fetish club bleeding had Seven’s deliciously curvy body. Tattoos colorful and peaking out of every piece of exposed skin, but her face didn’t match the body I loved so much. Her face was one I couldn’t help but hate with a passion. Seven’s long dark hair was replaced by highlighted blonde curls, and the botox my money had paid for. The face that donned my wife’s body was none other than that evil bitch Layna I had been married to for so long.
Was it an omen of some type? A prediction of what Seven and I were in for? Would my marriage once again come to an end, leaving me destined to be alone for the rest of my life?
I couldn’t tell you what it all meant, but it scared the shit out of me. The bed is drenched in sweat and even though the clock only reads four in the morning there is no way I will be able to go back to sleep with those images filling my mind. I wonder if Seven is okay, wherever she is.
Every night has become my own personal hell since she left. No matter what I do before bed, no matter how much I try to push my wife and daughter from my mind, the dreams always repeat.
I have two options, and neither are going to be pleasant.
One; I could kidnap Seven and force her to come back home. Which, knowing Seven, wouldn’t end well for me.
Two, I could chase her again; but that is something I vowed I would never do again.
Seven
Past
It was only a few days of rest and relaxation until Star eloped with Chrome. I was internally grateful they left because the whole ‘disgustingly in love’ thing they had going on only poured salt into my wounds. I would never outwardly admit it, but I missed Levi. It has been days since I heard from him, but I assumed he would have come chasing after me, just like he always did. Maybe that’s what I wanted. For Him to chase me, the same way he did when we first got together. Except this
time, I wonder if I’ve pushed him too far.
All he wanted was for Marley and me to be safe. That’s it. Granted I miss the freedoms I had before she came along: The coffee, and the whiskey, my runs and time at the club. But, they were all small sacrifices to make. My life isn’t over, it’s merely more laid back until she is born safely. Something I want just as much as Levi.
My poor Paisley has been helping me around the house, essentially waiting on me hand and foot, even though I’m supposed to be here to help her with the girls. Scarlett and Magnolia are old enough to behave and keep themselves entertained, but obviously are still too young to be left alone. I cherish the time I can spend with Magnolia though, knowing everything that had happened in the past months and the relief I felt for Star when she finally found the daughter she was forced to give up all those years ago. I will always think of her as Willow though.
Paisley, on the other hand, has been through so much in the past couple months, and for the longest time, I was the only person she could confide in. We may never share the bond that Star and I have, but Paisley is someone I will continue to protect fiercely. No matter what. And I suspect I am the only person in her life that feels that way.
I quietly lay on the couch in the living room and I can hear Paisley arguing with River in the kitchen. They have no idea I’m laying here eavesdropping on their conversation and I’m pretty sure I’m a shitty person for doing it, but the room is still spinning and I’m not awake enough to get my ass up from this couch where I passed out last night.
The two of them remind me of myself and Levi. They’re always bickering about something, but I think this time it is more serious. She’s young, and deep down I know she isn’t ready for whatever he’s looking for in her. He wants love and devotion and she needs to find herself. I quietly laugh and smile thinking about James all those years ago. Paisley reminds me so much of myself back then.
His (Hers #5) Page 1
