Fuck.
This was going too fast for him.
He didn't understand what this 'thing' was between them but there was definitely something there. He could either go back inside to see where 'this' led them, or he could get into his car and drive away knowing that hers wouldn't be the only heart that splintered. But better a heart taking a hit at the beginning, when you didn't have that much invested, rather than later when your very soul could be broken.
But, still he didn't move, his eyes glued to the beauty in the window.
He glanced down at his boots and realized that he always did this.
Left before it got sticky.
But right here, right now, with her, he wanted sticky.
He wanted complicated.
And he wanted to have his soul so entwined with hers that even if it did go bad, he'd still be willing to try it, to stick it out.
Just as long as he had her.
He glanced back up at the window and she was still sitting at the bar, her head still laying on her arms.
Dex felt his feet moving back towards her porch before he had even made a conscious decision to move. He paused a moment before turning the large, old-fashioned door knob.
He still had time to leave if that was what he wanted.
Dex opened and stepped through the door.
*.*.*.*.*
I couldn't help it. When I heard the front door close softly behind him, I lost it. My mind was all tangled up with my heart, but how can that be after only really being around him twice? And never having my heart tangled with another person before, I didn't know how to react except at a visceral level.
What had I done wrong?
I didn't understand. Things were going so well and I was so excited to be with him, just be near him and yet he didn't want me.
But the bulge in his pants did, that hardness that he had pressed and rubbed against my ass wanted me.
I didn't understand. What had I done wrong?
Dan was right. I was a fuck up.
I felt my sobs grow deeper, heavier when I finally acknowledged that what Dan said was really true.
Who was I trying to fool?
Oh, God, it hurt.
I hurt.
I found my plate in my hand and I threw it, I heaved it with all my might before dropping my head to my arms, not even watching where it, or the food on it, had landed.
I just let the tears come, let them wash out of me. I didn't have anything left other than tears.
I had tried to change, I wanted to change but truthfully I was more miserable now than I had been before when I was hiding behind my glasses, letting the world ignore me.
Have men like Dex ignore me.
Oh, God.
Dex.
Just the thought of him brought a fresh onslaught of tears.
Why do I feel so connected to him?
Why do I want him so very much? So much that I ached inside.
Finally, my sobbing eased and I was able to just rest my head on my arms. I rubbed my eyes and nose on my Henley knowing I would never wear it again, that I never wanted to even see it again.
I turned my head to the side, my right ear on my arm waiting for the hitches to subside before I cleaned up the mess I made.
I sighed deeply wishing I had a different life, that I was a different kind of woman.
The kind of woman that could laugh this kind of stuff off.
I moved to get off the barstool but noticed Dex standing, leaning against the front door, his arms crossed over his chest, his ankles crossed.
Everything within me stilled.
"You want it light or you want it heavy?" he rumbled.
"P-pardon?"
"Light or heavy. Your choice, babe," he repeated.
I swallowed, considering my choices.
"Don't care, Dex. Want you to be honest with whichever way you go," I said with as much bravery as I could muster.
After all, what did I have to lose?
He made his way to me and grabbed my hands, pulling me into the unlit living room to sit beside him on the sofa.
"Gas or wood?"
"Huh?"
"Babe. Fireplace. Gas or Wood?"
"Oh, ah. Gas," I said trying to remove my hands from his so I could turn it on.
"I'll do it. Where's the starter?
I showed him after he basically plonked me down onto the couch that faced the fireplace. And before I knew it, the living room was lit with the glow of the gas fire.
Dex made his way back to me, sitting right up next to me, so we were touching all down our sides. I felt, more than saw, his arm across the back of the cushion.
"Leila?"
"Yeah, Dex?"
"I'm a dick, babe."
I sighed deeply.
"I'm kind of getting that," I said softly.
"I was a dick when I first met you, when you didn't deserve to even be a part of my dickness."
"Is that even a word, Dex?"
"You’re the English Professor, you tell me," he said quietly.
I was quiet, too, sensing that he had something to say.
And it was something that he wanted me to hear.
"Leila?"
"Yeah?"
He sighed and ran the hand, the one not resting on the cushion behind my head, over his face.
"I want you so much I can't think straight. You are on my mind twenty-four hours a day which doesn't make a shit-load of sense because we don't really know each other."
My heart was beating fast at his words, his closeness. I ventured a glance at him. Dex was staring into the fire.
"I feel the same, Dex."
"I'm getting that, babe."
"Are you as scared as I am?"
I felt his arm drop from the cushion to my shoulders.
"Probably more, Elle," he admitted pulling me tight against his side.
"I-I, ah…" I started. He needed to know this about me.
I needed to tell him but I didn't know how to say it so that he could completely understand and make his decision based on truth.
I turned my body towards his, but I couldn't look at him.
"I was married before," I began on whisper. "His name was Dan."
I paused and glanced quickly up to gauge Dex's face. He was still watching the fire.
"Ah, things weren't so good between us in the…ah…bedroom department."
I swallowed hoping that I could get this out as fast as possible.
"I wasn't enough for him. And he, ah, told me how horrible I was in bed and in our last three years he took numerous lovers because I was so bad at it, at sex."
I watched as the hand that Dex had resting on his thigh was now a clenched fist.
"He was my first and only lover. I don't want you feeling mixed up about wanting me, especially in that way because I already know I'm not good at sex. I wish I was but I'm not."
I swallowed again before continuing, "I'm so sorry, Dex. I should have told you earlier…"
"Stop," his voice was very firm and very deep. "I want you to shut the fuck up right now, Leila, okay?"
I shut the fuck up right then.
There was a long bit of silence where the only sound in the room was his clenched fist rubbing against his thigh.
"Questions?"
"Pardon?"
"Can I ask questions, Elle?"
I nodded, not having a clue where this conversation was going to go.
"How long were you married?"
"Four years," I said softly.
"Four years," he repeated. "Four fucking years and he started playing around after a year? Or should I say that he fucking let you know that he was fucking around after a year?
"Yes," I admitted softly.
"And he told you that it was your fucking fault that he was sleeping around?
"Yes," I said again.
I wasn't a mind reader but the tension pouring off of Dex was definitely filling the room.
"How long has it been since your di
vorce?"
"Ah…just a little over three and a half years," I honestly had no clue what was going on in Dex's mind.
"Date much since your divorce?"
"Uh-uh," I admitted shaking my head for emphasis.
"So you are basically a virgin, right?"
"Excuse me?"
I felt him turn towards me, before I felt his hand moving my chin so I would look at him.
"Babe," he said. And left it at that, all the while staring into my eyes.
I had no answer.
I didn't know what he was asking.
I had already told him my biggest, darkest secret and he was calling me a virgin?
"You ever come with him?"
"Have an orgasm, you mean?"
"Yeah," he said. There was something moving behind his eyes.
"No," I said trying to lower my head but he held my chin firm, forcing me to look at him.
"You want one?"
"Excuse me?"
"You wanna come, Leila?"
I had no response to that.
I had just told him that I couldn't come with a man and here he is asking me if I want to have an orgasm?
If this was some kind of game, I sure didn't understand the rules.
"You play with toys?" he asked after a couple of lifetimes of silence.
"Toys?"
"Vibrators, dildos, etc. Things that get you off." The expression on his face told me he was totally serious.
"Did you find my…er…my thing, when you spent the night?" I whispered.
"No, honey, I didn't. I like others to respect my privacy so I give them theirs."
I watched as he dropped his head to mine for a long, slow stroke along my nose.
"Okay so you have a toy. And do you come with it?"
I nodded.
I was still confused at the point he was trying to make.
He was trying to make a point, right?
"Leila?"
"Yeah?"
"You want to prove dickwad wrong?"
"Huh?"
He leaned over, placing his mouth near my ear before continuing.
"I can make you come so hard you'll forget your name, gorgeous."
Holy shit.
I squeezed my thighs together to prevent that deep throb within me from showing in, say, a wiggle or worse, a hip thrust.
"You can?" I asked trying to keep the hopefulness out of my voice.
"Uh-Huh. But, babe?"
"Yeah, Dex?"
"You're going to have to choose."
"Choose?"
He leaned even closer. "Yeah, Elle, you're going to have to choose. You want to come on my fingers, my mouth or my cock?"
Oh. My. God.
Chapter Sixteen
Dex got up off the sofa and turned off the fire before returning to me and grabbing my hand. I stood up beside him and watched as his eyes roamed over my face.
"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Leila," he said softly before turning us towards the stairs.
Seriously, how do you respond to something like that?
We made our way into my bedroom and he dropped my hand, but only so he could turn on one of the bedside lamps.
"Light okay, honey?"
I nodded still not quite sure what we were going to be doing.
I watched Dex reach back to between his shoulder blades and remove his Henley. He wasn't wearing an undershirt, so I got a full and close up view of his gorgeous chest, the tattoos and his nipple ring.
Nipple Ring?
I looked again, yes, Dex had a ring in his left nipple.
Day-yum.
That was hot.
After shaking his hair out of his eyes, Dex looked me over and raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"Your turn, Leila."
I copied his move and pulled my Henley over my head. I saw Dex's eyes flare as he visually devoured the sight of my breasts in my sheer, light blue, Vicky's demi-bra.
I watched him swallow before he sat on the bed and took off his socks.
I copied his move and sat on the bed and took off my socks. But the seam of my jeans as I sat on the bed rubbed just the right spot in just the right way and I gasped.
Dex shot a glance at me before asking, "You decide, yet?"
"Give me my choices again?" I said with a small smile.
"Fuck that," he said twisting towards me and easing me down so I was on my back. "How about we just do all three. My hand, my mouth and my cock and then you choose for the fourth."
"You think that I can have four orgasms in one…ah…"
"Evening?"
"Yeah."
"Leila?" he said moving his body to his lips could touch mine. "Which do you think is going to be more fun: having the orgasms three different times, or trying for them three different ways? Either way, babe, we both win."
You have to admit, the man had a point.
Chapter Seventeen
But Dex was wrong.
I didn't get three orgasms.
I got five.
He had three.
And we tried all sorts of different ways to get there.
And each and every one was amazing.
When we first started, it was with kissing. I thought his car kiss was great as well as the one downstairs when we were getting ready to eat.
But Dex had been holding back.
Honest to God, his lips were amazing, as well as his wet tongue that did all sorts of delightful things to my mouth.
Things that made certain parts of my body beg to have his mouth and tongue do those things to them.
Things that made me wet between my legs, legs that were moving restlessly.
Dex paused his kissing and stood up.
"Let's get you out of those jeans, Elle." And I undid the button and the zipper before he began to pull them off me, stopping only to let me lift my hips.
"God, you're beautiful," he murmured throwing my jeans behind him. I watched as he unbuttoned his own jeans and shoved them down before stepping out of them, but left his black boxer briefs on.
Boxer briefs that contained a very large, very prominent lump.
"Move up on the bed, babe." And I turned over to crawl up to the pillows, but I heard an audible intake of air. I glanced back at Dex and he was staring at my butt that wasn't covered by anything as my panties were a thong.
His hand slid down the length of his covered hard on before he glanced at me.
"You don't play nice, Leila," He moaned. "The view from where I'm standing is fucking unbelievable, babe."
I smiled as I laid down on my back on the bed, clad only in my bra and panties. My heart was booming so hard, I was convinced that he could hear it.
And I was so wet that I knew he could see how soaked my panties were as well as the top of my thighs.
My breasts seemed swollen and my nipples were hard and aching.
Dex crawled up the bed from the bottom, moving directly over me, keeping all his weight on his elbows and feet.
"Kiss me," he said.
So I did.
I knew what I liked when he kissed me, so I used those same moves on him, the hot dueling of our tongues, sucking on it as well as his lips and tilting my head so I could have more room.
He moaned and dropped his hips.
I made him moan, and the thought caused a pulse deep within me. I couldn't help the thrust of my hips in response.
"Open your legs, babe," he said against my mouth.
I moved and felt him drop further into the space created between my legs and his hardness was directly on my pudendum. His hips began to move, rubbing himself against my satin clad labia, creating the most wonderful sensations even through our underwear.
I moaned and lifted my legs to entwine around his back and I used that position to churn my hips as I rose up to rub myself against that delicious hardness.
Dex moved to the side of me, his head on his elbow and my legs let him go.
Did I do something wrong?
My consternation must have evident on my face because Dex started talking.
"That was hot, Leila. So hot, I could've probably come. But before I get there, I want to make sure that you're taken care of first, okay?"
I felt his fingers on my stomach, making aimless circles as he spoke.
I didn't know what he exactly meant, but I nodded since everything that we'd done so far had been amazing.
His fingers stopped making circles and he slid his hand down my belly moving over the satin of my panties to cup my mound and rub against me.
"God, you're so wet," he murmured and I saw that he was watching his hand move. I raised my hips and felt my head drop back. The feeling of his hand on me was amazing.
"Look at me, Leila," and I tilted my head to catch his eyes.
With his eyes on mine, I felt his hand slide underneath the scrap of satin, moving down through my nest of curls, to slide along my wet slit softly, parting the lips of my sex before dipping his fingers into the source of my wetness.
I opened my thighs at his touch and heard his moan as well as my own.
He slipped two fingers inside my heat and his thumb found my swollen nub which he brushed against as his fingers slid in and out of me.
Oh, God, it felt good. So good. Our eyes were still locked on each other but I wasn't focusing on his eyes. My whole body was caught up on his busy moving fingers that were now covered in my juices.
I couldn't help my cries of pleasure as my orgasm built, my body responding to every flick of his thumb, every slide of his fingers.
Dex dropped his head and I felt his hot mouth cover my taut nipple through my sheer bra. His tongue swirled, mimicking the action of his thumb against my clitoris then sucking my nipple into his wet mouth in time to the sliding of his fingers.
I was soaring, deeply lost in sensation when my orgasm hit. I felt my body bow upwards and my head fell back.
"Dex!" I heard myself moan.
His thumb stopped moving but his fingers, his busy fingers were still gliding in and out of me. And since I was absolutely soaked in my own juices, I could hear the snick of his fingers as they moved slowly now.
He raised his head, my nipple popping out of his mouth.
"Fuck, Leila." I raised my eyes to his as he spoke. "I barely had my fingers in your pussy before you hit it."
His hand made its way out of my panties and I watched as he brought his wet fingers to his mouth. My sex throbbed at the sight of his tongue licking my juices off his fingers.
Human Hieroglyphix - Dex & Leila Page 10
