by t. h. snyder
Leaning my head back against the cool leather of the chair, I raise the bottle to my lips again and take a long sip. A bitter taste fills my mouth as my tongue sweeps out to lick a drop of the amber liquid from my lip. I’m falling hard and fast, not knowing if I’ll be able to pull myself back out again.
I swore to myself I’d never let it get this bad again, my life was ruined once before. But now I fear it could be worse than ever.
The sound of the bell from the front door pulls me out of my fog as I jump to my feet.
Shit, did I forget to lock the door?
Who the fuck could possibly be here?
No one knows that I’m even here…or so I thought.
Tossing the half empty bottle into the trash, I move through the room and out into the hallway. The shop is dark except for the neon lights shining in through the front windows. A female silhouette begins to walk toward me and my heart skips a beat.
It’s her, the one woman my heart ached over for such a long time. The physical connection is like a magnet pulling her body closer to mine. I can feel her long before our skin begins to touch one another. Her presence is so close, yet she feels so far away.
I don’t know what we were thinking. It could never work; we were just a fix of convenience when we both needed the comfort of a warm body. The only problem…my soul craved for her again and led me to feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. She was my safety net, or so I thought.
“Steve, what are you doing here?” She asks, as her small frame stands before me. “Have you been drinking?”
Shaking my head and blinking my eyes, I try to focus on the beauty standing before me.
“How…w-why…ww-what are you doing here?” I stutter in response.
Her warm hands reach out for my arms as she trails her fingertips along my triceps.
“Don’t ignore my question, Steve. Why the hell would you start drinking again…after all you went through to get sober?”
She pauses for a brief moment and I can feel the guilt pulling all the air out of my lungs. Looking into her hazel eyes, I want to tell her how I’m feeling. The pain of everything is just too much to deal with—I need something to take it away. It just sucks that the only cure for my illness is in a bottle.
“We need to talk, Steve. I’ve been looking for you all day.”
Trying my damnedest to fill my lungs with air, I take a step back from her and look down to the tile floor.
“Ashley, why the hell would you be looking for me? We haven’t seen, let alone spoken to each another, in weeks.”
As she removes her hands from my arms, a sigh of air puffs from her chest.
“That’s not my doing, Steve, and you know it. You left me in that alleyway…you walked away from me when I told you what I wanted. In fact, you’ve closed yourself off from all of us.”
Moving past me, she pushes through into my room and flips on the light. My eyes squint shut due to the intensity of the florescent lights.
“Why are you here?” I ask in a harsh tone, rubbing my eyes while they adjust to the brightness.
Turning around to face her, I catch the glaring look she returns in my direction. With one hand on her hip, she rests her other hand on the back of my chair. She has no right coming into the shop or asking me why I’m even here. Who the hell does she think she is anyway?
“I’d like to ask you the same thing, but that’s not why I’m here. I wanted to say goodbye before I left.”
Unsure of the words that just came out of her mouth; I try to pick my jaw up off the floor. Goodbye…I should be used to that word by now. First Dault, then Linc and Jo, now her too, damn it I need a drink.
It seems as though everyone is jumping ship and leaving town...or maybe it’s me that they’re choosing to leave.
“What do you mean say goodbye? Where are you going?”
My chest begins to tighten as my eyes follow her body while she walks around the chair to take a seat. She can’t do this to me…not again.
“Not that it really should matter to you and by no means do I owe you any kind of explanation after how you’ve acted the past few weeks…I just felt I needed to close down all connections here in Birmingham before I left to go back home to Cleveland.”
My walls feel as though they are about to crumble; my chest aching to think that I could lose her forever.
“Ash, not you too… We just found each other again, you can’t leave me.”
Turning her head to face away from me, she rests her head in her hands.
I’m lost as to what is transpiring right here in front of me. We haven’t spoken in weeks, yet the pull I feel toward her is still as strong as the first day I laid eyes on her. I can’t imagine her leaving for good, knowing that I may never see her again. I lost her once; I can’t let it happen again.
Taking a step forward, I rest my hand on her shoulder. Her body quivers to my touch as she pulls her head from her hands. As she turns to face me, I can see the tears welling up in her beautiful eyes.
“Give me one good reason I should stay, Steve.”
As much as I want to confess the way she makes me feel, I can’t. I stand there motionless looking into her hazel eyes as the tears begin to fall down her face.
“I’m….”
Before I can complete my thought she cuts me off.
“Don’t bother. I shouldn’t have come here in the first place. I just couldn’t leave without saying goodbye, especially to you. I must be an idiot for thinking you’d want to talk me out of it. You’ve stayed away from me and everyone else for so long, I guess I was hoping I’d get a different response from you.”
Staring into her painful expression, I have no words. My hands fall from her shoulders and I begin to feel like a worthless piece of shit. I have nothing to say, yet the thoughts running through my mind are screaming for me to beg her to stay.
Getting up and stepping away from the chair, she moves toward me. My legs are locked in place, my feet cemented to the tile floor. I feel like a statue; I can’t move.
Standing before me, she steps on her tip toes and places a gently kiss on the side of my mouth. In a split second my stiff body comes to life as my arms move to wrap themselves around her.
She gasps a breath of air as my hands pull her face closer to mine and my lips begin to consume hers.
I don’t know what’s supposed to happen next as I allow my body to speak for me. I can’t bear to lose the one woman that could truly show me the life I want and need. Even if I can’t express my feelings to her with words, I have to at least try and show her that I need her to stay here with me.
Without hesitation, her body slowly molds against mine while her lips effortlessly open, granting me the access I desperately crave. The taste of sweetness lingers on my lips as my tongue darts out to join hers. Within seconds, our desire fills the room and we become a tangled mess of hands, arms and legs as I press her body against the wall. The moans coming from her encourage me to take things a step further as my hands trail up from the top of her jeans, follow the course of her spine, and land on the clasp of her bra. With a smooth snap of my fingers, the clasp comes undone and I can feel her breasts against my chest.
It’s been so long since I’ve tasted every inch of her body; it’s a craving I never thought I’d have to miss. Moving my arms to the hem of her shirt, I slowly break away from our passionate kiss and pull her top over her head. Looking up at me through her lashes, I can see a hint of hesitation behind her hazel eyes.
“Please tell me you want me to stay, Steve,” she begs.
Pulling her face into my hands I lean in to kiss her lips, but it’s not enough. She reaches her hands up to mine and stares back at me, pleading for me to tell her the words she needs to hear.
Instead of baring my soul to her, I stand there speechless as she slides against the wall and away from me. My eyes scan her every movement as she bends down to pick up her shirt and bra. I know that I should stop her from what I know she’s about to d
o, yet I can’t do it. She takes a step in closer to me and in a split second the burn of her palm slapping my face radiates through the left side of my cheek. I don’t move. I don’t recognize her disappointment. Instead, I watch her walk to the doorway of my parlor room, flip the light switch off, and walk out through the front door of Cursed Magic.
Because of who I am, who I can never be, and what she needs for herself, I let her walk out of my life.
Chapter 2
A sharp stabbing sensation fills my chest as I look up into his eyes. Knowing very well that I don’t want to be going anywhere, I had to attempt one last time to make him snap out of the hell he’s been putting himself through.
The longer he stays silent the more hurt fills my soul. I don’t know what I was thinking coming here.
Sliding my body along the wall I move further away from him, but the pull is still there. I have to deny it, fight through the feelings I have for him, and leave for good. He doesn’t want me emotionally and he’s made that very clear. I’m just a pair of legs and a warm pussy to him…no, I won’t allow that anymore. Bending down I scoop up my bra and shirt.
Taking in a deep breath, I brace myself for the courage I need to do this, if not for me than for my pride. I swing back my right hand and watch as it slaps him across the face. The burn radiates through my palm as I clench my fingers into a fist. His eyes close and I can tell by the expression on his face that I’ve caught him off guard. Unwilling to change, he deserves nothing less than a life filled with pain and disappointment. Pushing myself past him, I turn off the lights to a life we could have enjoyed together.
Before stepping out of the shop, I pause for a brief moment, pulling my shirt on over my head and tucking my bra into my back pocket. I don’t have time to mess around. I need to get as far away from him as I can before I regret my choices and realize how much I’ll really miss him.
Running toward my car I don’t hesitate for a second, I know that I need to go. As much as my heart is aching, I can’t allow him to use me again. My heart has grown to care for a man that could never love himself enough to show me who he really is and that is exactly what I need for him to do.
As I reach the car door, my chest is heaving and my breath is short. Grabbing for the door handle, I swing it open and slide inside.
My body continues to tremble as I move my fingertips to my still swollen lips. As I lick away the last trace of him, I can’t help but let my head fall back against the seat. His touch is like no other, the way he makes me feel consumes my every sense. I can’t help but wish things could…no would be different for us.
Yet again I’m walking away from my one true love, the man that no other will ever compare to…he was my one and only and now I’ve said goodbye for good.
Steve is a torn man and no matter how badly I want to help him, he needs to do this on his own. Now that I’ve left him again, I need to make a decision that might be harder than anything I’ve ever done before. Trying to calm myself, I close my eyes not knowing what the hell I’m going to do. Distance makes the heart grow fonder; at least that’s what they’ve said. For me, all that distance has been able to do is make me wonder if everything we’ve ever had was a lie.
Opening my eyes, I turn on the car and put it into drive.
Memories from every time we’ve spent together flash before me as I pull the car away from the shop, making my way home.
It’s dark, except for the light casting down onto the back alley from the side streets. I’ve wanted to be alone with Steve for so long since the accident, but the timing has never been right. Now here we are, finally just the two of us.
The setting couldn’t be worse as we stand next to the dumpster behind the shop.
Watching his every move, I blink my eyes, envisioning that we are someplace else. Steve walks toward me and I can feel my heart pick up a beat. My face falls against his palm as his callused fingertips caress my skin. I never thought I could feel like this again, but something about this man pulls me and I don’t want to let go.
Reaching for my chin with his fingers, my eyes meet his and I’m once again lost. His big brown eyes stare back and me and without words I can feel the passion coursing between us.
Licking my bottom lip, I pull it between my teeth just as he leans forward so that we are nose to nose. I want so badly for him to kiss me, make me his, and never let this moment end.
As if he could read my exact thoughts, he moves his hands to the back of my head and pulls me into him. The softness of his lips touches mine and for a brief second we remain completely still.
I want to explore him, touch every inch of his beautiful body, and memorize each mark of ink along his skin.
My hands move from my side and reach to grab his biceps, pulling his arms down along my waist. Standing taller onto my tip toes, I lick along the seam of his lips. A gasp escapes me as he picks me up, my legs surrounding his waist, just as he turns so my back is flush against the brick wall. His mouth presses down to mine, our lips crashing together. Urgency courses through us while our tongues unite in a tangled web of lust and desire. The deeper our kiss falls, the sounds of his groans fixate through my ears.
There’s no doubt in my mind that Steve wants this as badly as I do.
My heart is pounding, my panties dripping wet with anticipation to take this a step further. For weeks I’ve wanted this to happen and right now here we are, there’s no way I’m giving up on this chance to be with him. Fuck that we are in the back alley, I want him now.
Clenching my legs around his hips, I try to get the friction I desperately need. His cock is pushing through his jeans and touching me in just the right spot, if I could just….
He breaks away from our kiss, his brown eyes glistening against the gentle shadow of light as he looks at me.
“Ashley, if you keep grinding into me like that I won’t be held responsible for what I’ll do next.”
His husky voice sends chills through my body and I love it. With a smirk in the dark, I bring my lips back to his and ride up and down his bulge willing my body to feel the immense pleasure just as I hit the right spot. A moan pulls from my lungs as I feel my climax building. His lips plant firmly against mine, never losing sight of the connection we’re experiencing.
Just as I’m about to fall over the edge, he breaks away from our kiss.
“Nice try, sweet girl. I’m not letting you get off by dry humping me,” he remarks.
Lifting me away from his body, he sets me down so that my feet are on the pavement of the alleyway. His hand reaches for my hip, quickly turning me to face the brick wall. Hot breath hits the back of my neck as he begins to trails kisses from my ear to the sensitive spot nearing the back of my neck. Steve places his hands on either side of my hips and pushes his full erection against my ass. I can barely stand the sexual tension filtering through this small space.
“Dear God, I can’t…” I pant breathlessly.
“Can’t what?” He asks in a sarcastic tone. Running his fingertips up the side of my body, a chill ignites and I feel as though I’m about to burst. “Does that feel good?” He asks pulling my body in tighter to his.
I can feel every muscle of his chest and abdomen against my back as I lean into him. His hands travel beneath my shirt circling my navel, moving toward my chest while goosebumps linger in his path. My nipples become hard as nails as his fingers move beneath the silk material of my bra, caressing each of my breasts. With each delicate touch, my legs become weaker; I can barely stand. The pressure in my belly becomes too much, I need to feel him inside of me.
Attempting to turn in his arms, his force is too strong; I can’t budge. Removing his hands from under my shirt, he grabs my hair and pulls my head back. With urgency, his lips crash into mine, his tongue immediately searching for mine. A deep moan vibrates through his chest, encouraging me to finally do what I’ve wanted to do for weeks...touch him. Reaching behind my back with trembling fingers, I search for his belt buckle. Unfastening the metal h
ook, I pop the button of his jeans and without hesitation let my hand travel beneath his boxers to his pulsing cock. His hips begin to buck against me as I take his thick length into my hand.
The smooth skin fills my palm and my mouth begins to water.
Biting down onto my lips, he sucks my tongue into his mouth and pulls at the hem of my shirt lifting it up over my head. My breathing quickly becomes ragged, my adrenaline spiking out of control with every graze of his touch against my feverish skin.
My shirt is dangling from my arms as he attempts to pull it from me. Feeling him in my hand, I don’t want to let go, but this situation is about to get very uncomfortable if I don’t.
Removing my hand from his pants, he tugs my shirt away, and raises my arms above my head placing them up against the brick wall. Trying to turn my head, I see nothing but darkness, the subtle glow of the lights now fallen behind our shadows.
With strong hands, Steve quickly unfastens the button of my jeans and slides them down around my ankles. His hands slowly trace lines up the back of my legs followed by the slickness of his tongue. The urge to fall to the street grows more and more, the sexual desire he is building through me is driving me fucking insane. I want him now and need him to bury himself inside of me like no other man has.
My muscles tighten as his hands fall upon the curve of my ass. He’s not just touching me; he’s worshipping every inch of me, creating a sense of pleasure that leaves me wanting more.
Moving my thong to the side, his fingers gently stroke my throbbing clit.
“You’re so fucking ready for me, Ashley. I want to devour every inch of you.”
“Please,” I beg.
“Tell me what you want, I need to hear it,” he whispers into my ear.
“I want you, all of you…can you give that to me?”
His fingers stop circling my nub and I feel his body become rigid behind me. My arms are still above my head and I’m facing a dark brick wall. Silence fills the small space between us…that is until he backs away from me and the faint sound of a zipper triggers my senses.
