by Fredrick, MJ
When he returned to Quinn’s, Trinity had a beer in front of her, but didn’t look any more relaxed than she had when he picked her up.
“Hey.” He took the stool next to her and pulled over the beer Quinn had already set on the bar. “Lily’s out with a tour. She’ll be over as soon as she’s done.”
Quinn grunted and walked away.
“So why do I feel like the only one in a good mood?” Leo asked.
“Maybe you are.”
“Yeah, well, you’ll hear my news and feel better.”
She gave him a half-smile. “But I have to wait for Lily to find out? I thought I rated.”
“You rate.” He had to change the subject before he spilled prematurely. “So are you thinking of getting your own place? Living with your folks seems to stress you out.”
“You have no idea.”
“So why haven’t you?”
She set her beer on the counter and slid it around in the condensation. “I came home with school loans, more than I’d planned because I got my masters at the same time. And my dad got sick, and the medical bills were outrageous. So I was paying the loans and helping with the medical bills and saving money in an IRA. Bluestone School District isn’t exactly a high payer. Then the market crashed. I lost half of what I’d put away. And then there’s the decision—as much as I love Bluestone, do I want to live where my parents live? Because they’ll never stop waiting for me to screw up again.”
That wasn’t the first time she’d mentioned her past mistake. “What is it that you did?”
She shook her head. “Something they’ll never let me forget.”
Now he was intrigued, and he shifted on the stool to face her. “Tell me.”
She shook her head again, her lips pressed into that same thin secretive line.
Well, hell. Didn’t she know he was a reporter and he couldn’t resist a secret? She was important to him, so he wouldn’t snoop, but the itch was there.
“Hey. I’m here.” Lily swung the door open and strode to the bar, her cap pulled low over her eyes. “What the hell’s the emergency?”
Quinn took a step back. “Jesus, Lil. What’s your problem?”
“My problem? I don’t know.” She leaned on the bar and glowered. “Maybe the fact that I’ve been surrounded by stubborn men all day who don’t take, ‘It’s time to pack it in’ seriously. They got pissed because they didn’t catch much, then gave me a five dollar tip. Maybe it’s that I haven’t eaten since breakfast and had to pee over the water, and that only once because I was so busy. And then I get back to a message that this one,” she jerked a thumb in Leo’s direction without looking at him—how did he get to be the bad guy? “Is looking for me, and I walk in here and you give me attitude, which as you can see, I don’t need.”
“No shit. What is your damage?”
“I think I went over that. I’m not in the mood to deal with your scowly face, and in fact I wasn’t planning to come in here tonight just so I could avoid that very thing.”
“You’ve been in this mood since Friday night, and I think I deserve to know why.”
“You know why!” she exploded.
“Hey!” Leo interjected, though, God, he wanted to know why himself, and a glance at Trinity’s face told him curiosity had her as well. “I got Maddox Bradley to agree to play here Memorial Day weekend.”
A half dozen faces in the bar turned to face him. Behind him a tray crashed to the floor and he turned to see Beth standing frozen over it, a mess of broken glass and dirty dishes at her feet.
“Well,” Lily said. “Looks like we have work to do.”
Chapter Eight
Leo was so busy the next week with baseball practice, going with Quinn to get the materials for the stage—which he’d also decided needed a roof, since this was Minnesota and the weather could change in a blink—and writing his article. He was barely aware that Trinity was pulling away from him. He didn’t see her when he picked up Max after school, and she hadn’t been at Quinn’s the two times he’d been by after Max went to bed.
He missed her.
He figured she’d be at Eighties movie night to watch Sixteen Candles with him. This time he didn’t pack a dinner, since several groups would be running concessions as fundraisers. Still, he and Max arrived early to secure the same spot as last week. Leo waited for Trinity.
Finally he spotted her through the crowd, wearing the brightest combination of colors he’d ever seen, working at the soda booth with Lily. She hadn’t mentioned she’d be working. Feeling out of sorts because his plans were skewed, he motioned to Max and they abandoned their blanket to approach the booth.
“I didn’t know you’d be working tonight.” He stepped to the front of the line, drawing out his wallet.
“We decided to try to make some money to allay some of the expenses of the concerts,” Lily said.
Trinity didn’t meet his gaze, but her turquoise mini-skirt swishing around her hot pink tight-clad legs drew his attention as she served the teenagers in front of him.
“I thought we’d watch the movie together,” he addressed Trinity, hating that his words sounded like an accusation, a whine.
“Sorry. I should have told you.” Still, she kept her blue eye-shadowed eyes averted.
He looked at Lily for help, but she held up a hand to let him know she didn’t want any part of it.
“We’ve been looking forward to this,” he pursued, but Trinity turned away to take the order of the family behind him.
“Are you buying?” Lily asked, her tone not unsympathetic.
He placed an order, but kept his attention on Trinity. He and Max returned to their spot with their drinks and corn dogs, but Leo couldn’t enjoy the romantic farce he’d selected with her in mind.
***
Trinity knew she’d handled the situation with Leo badly. She should have expected him to be waiting for her after the movie. Still, the sight of him standing beside her car gave her a jolt.
“Where’s Max?”
“At home with my parents, probably already asleep.” He folded his arms over his chest and leveled a look at her. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on.” She fiddled with her keys in the oversized pocket in her oversized blazer. She hated that he made her nervous. One of the things she loved about Leo was that he didn’t usually make her nervous.
Loved about Leo. Yeah, that was the problem, wasn’t it?
He heaved a sigh. “Trinity, I’ve barely seen you all week. It’s like you’re going out of your way to stay away from me.”
She dipped her head to hide her blush at the truth of his words. “You’ve been busy, I’ve been busy.”
“It’s more than that.” He pushed away from her car and reached for her. “I’ve missed you, Trinity.”
She took a step back, registering the flash of confusion that crossed his face. “This just isn’t a good idea, Leo. You have Max to worry about, and—”
“He’s doing fine.”
His dismissive tone put her back up. “I don’t think he is. And even so, he’s a student at my school.”
“Has someone said something?”
She took a deep breath. She’d told Max she wouldn’t say anything, but Leo should know part of it. “Max has been trying to charm his way out of trouble because of our friendship.”
His face reddened and his shoulders squared. “What are you saying?”
She shook her head. “I took care of it. We said we’d keep it between the two of us, and I shouldn’t have told you, but it made me realize there’s another person in this relationship, a person who has lost his mom. We have no idea what he thinks about you moving on.”
His expression darkened and his mouth thinned to a line. She took another step back, worried she’d gone too far.
“You’re right. I should talk to him about how he feels about you and me. But I’d feel like an idiot bringing it up with him, only to have you walk away.”
She tossed her hands
in frustration. She wasn’t the one who was going to walk away in the long run. “That’s not what I’m saying. Before you get involved with anyone, you need to find out how Max feels about another woman coming into his life. You told me you barely talk to him about his mother. How will he feel if you’re suddenly trying to replace her?”
“I’m not trying to replace her,” he growled. “I couldn’t.”
She flinched. Of course she’d known—been pretty sure, anyway—that he’d loved Liv. She just hadn’t expected him to be so defensive about it. “I know.” She softened her tone as she might have done for his son. “But it could seem that way to him. You need to talk to him, Leo.”
“And then?”
His hand twitched, like he wanted to touch her. She wanted him to touch her, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t want, not when so much was at stake.
“Then you should think about what you really want.”
“And if I decide that’s you?”
Her heart tumbled over at his words, and pushing him away was almost impossible. And reminded her of the other impossible thing she’d done, that she wasn’t ready to tell him about. She had to protect herself awhile longer.
“I’m not going to risk myself for someone who’s not going to be around,” she said. “You said you’re just here until summer. I’m not leaving.” She took a deep breath. “Talk to Max, Leo, but don’t make it about me. Now, it’s been a long day. I’d like to go home.” She nodded at her car.
He was still frowning and for a moment she thought he wouldn’t move. Then he stepped aside.
“Good night, Leo.”
As soon as she turned the vehicle down her street, she burst into tears.
***
“You look like hell, son,” Leo’s father told him the next morning as the three Erickson men packed up their breakfast for the boat. “You didn’t stay at Quinn’s too late, did you?”
Leo rubbed his itchy eyes, eyes that hadn’t been able to stay closed all night. He hadn’t been to Quinn’s at all, instead sat by the lake and tried to reason out what Trinity had said. She was right, of course. He’d thought this thing with her would just be some fun, but as long as Max knew about it, it couldn’t be fun. Nothing could be as it was before Max. Leo had to think for two.
And she was right that he needed to know what he wanted. He’d spent the better part of the night thinking about his job, the one he’d lived for only a few months ago, the one he’d craved. Now it seemed like part of another life. He’d thought maybe, when he came here, that he’d get Max settled and head back. But now he was involved, he was invested. He had the concert series and the baseball team and Lily and Quinn. And Trinity.
He hadn’t given himself permission to think about her as more than a friend with benefits, but after his disappointment last night, his heart actually ached. He hadn’t thought that possible.
So he was going to follow her advice and talk to Max.
In retrospect, maybe their morning fishing trip wasn’t the place for it, but he was tired and in his head it all came out better. He should have remembered the way Max froze in the car the last time he mentioned Liv. He probably should have started with something other than, “I heard you and Miss Madison had a discussion about her being friends with me.”
Max stiffened, and too late, Leo remembered she’d told him that she’d taken care of it, that she’d told the boy it would be between the two of them. Yeah, breaking her trust, not a good thing.
“She said she wouldn’t tell you.”
“I’m not mad.” But he hadn’t known another way to broach the subject. “I just—does my friendship with her bother you? Like, if I wanted to date her, spend some time with her?”
Max’s dark eyes glittered with temper. “Aren’t you doing that already?”
“A little, but—I’m thinking I’d like to do it more. I’d like to hold her hand, maybe kiss her.”
“You were kissing her after the movie the other night.”
“I was.” He nodded. “Because I thought you weren’t paying attention.”
Max rolled his eyes.
“I miss your mother, Max,” he said finally. “I miss her. She was amazing. But I’m lonely and Trinity is—she’s not like your mother, but she makes me happy. I want to spend time with her.”
“You want to sleep with her,” Max shot back.
Leo wouldn’t have been more shocked if his father had dived off the boat and started doing water ballet. And he didn’t respond well in his surprise. “What—how do you know about that?” The kid was nine, for crying out loud.
“Grandma watches Grey’s Anatomy, and they kiss, then they get naked, then they sleep together. All the guys at school said you want to sleep with Miss Madison.”
The guys at school. Yeah, he remembered that dynamic. Leo’s face heated in anger and embarrassment at the accuracy of the statement.
“I want to get to know her,” he said through his teeth. “I want to know that you’re okay with me making her a part of our lives.”
Max paled then. “You want her to come live with us?”
Leo shook his head. “I don’t know how serious it will be. Probably not. I’m going back to work once your summer vacation starts—”
Something else he should have worded differently.
Tears swam in the boy’s eyes. “Good! I want you to go!” He picked up his fishing pole and flung it into the lake.
Anger raced through him, making him see red. He looked from the floating gear to his son’s defiant expression and bent to get in the boy’s face. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Go!” He glanced around. Not a lot of choices. “Go below.”
Two tears spilled down his cheeks before he blinked them angrily back, then his face set stubbornly—just like Liv’s had done—and he pivoted to duck below.
Leo was quivering with temper when he turned to see his father reaching for the pole with a fishing net that was too short.
“I’ll get that.” He took the net from his father and leaned over the side of the boat, his thoughts racing—regret, anger, frustration.
“You should go talk to him.”
Leo straightened, his attention on the floating pole. “I thought you’d’ve wanted me to spank his butt.”
“Make no mistake, I would have done that to you, but times are different. The two of you are different. You don’t really know the kid.”
Leo wanted to deny the fact but couldn’t. “I don’t know what I can say to make it better.”
“Maybe it’s time to listen.”
Leo scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’ve never yelled at him before.”
“You’ve been doing a lot of things lately with him you’ve never done. You don’t get another chance, Leo. He’s only a kid once. If you’re serious about this woman, well, that’s something you need to work out with him.”
“Trinity is—she’s something special. I want a chance to know. I thought approaching him was the best thing. I didn’t mean to upset him. Kid’s been through enough changes.”
“Good you recognize that.”
His father walked to the motor and guided the boat closer to the floating pole. Leo scooped it up. He held it, looking at it for a moment, then walked to the front of the boat and opened the doors to enter the berth.
Max sat on the edge of the bunk, sniffling, but he didn’t look up when Leo entered.
“I’m sorry,” Leo said, leaning against the wall, wanting to take the kid into his arms, but he never did that and didn’t know how Max would react, especially in the mood he was in now. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I don’t like that you threw Grandpa’s fishing pole overboard, but I take responsibility for surprising you by talking about going back to work.” There. That was reasonable, wasn’t it? Even a nine year old could see that. “I don’t want to change your life, not just for the sake of change. But something’s missing in my life since your mom died.”
Max’s breath caught, and he lifted his fac
e to Leo. Leo sat on the bunk beside him, keeping a bit of space between them.
“Did I ever tell you how we met?”
Max hesitated, then shook his head.
“I was working in the States then, getting started, and I was doing a story on ERs. Emergency rooms, you know. Once she got pregnant, she stopped working in the ER—long hours, a lot of stress, but that day—I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She was the prettiest woman I’d ever seen, even though she had her hair all knotted at the back of her head, you know, like she used to do, and most of her make-up had come off. I remember there was this case of this woman who came in, she had to weigh twice what I did, and she had burned herself cooking, splattered grease on her arms and face, and she could hardly move, she hurt so bad. Your mom hefted her into a wheelchair and pushed her into an exam room, the most gentle thing I’d ever seen as she tended to her wounds.” He couldn’t tell his son how he’d watched those long tender fingers and ached. “I watched her run beside a gurney with a man having a heart attack, shouting orders, getting straight to work, no question in her mind what needed to be done. I watched her lead the team who saved the man’s life, even before the doctor arrived. And when she finally took a break, I followed her and asked her to dinner. She was on duty until midnight, but I wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
He’d gotten her home at four in the morning, and left at eight for his next assignment. Couldn’t tell Max that either. But he’d gone back to Saint Paul as often as he could over the next months, unable to get her out of his head, and proposed to her during a particularly aerobic lovemaking. She’d said yes, but made him propose again more properly so she could one day tell their kids.
“I proposed to her on the carousel at the park,” he said to Max. “Where we used to take you when you were little?” Before his career had taken off and he’d hardly been home, had missed so much.
“She took me there after we’d go to the doctor.” Max’s voice was rough with unshed tears. “We’d eat lunch and ride on the carousel.”
