Before he could move, Elthia stepped forward, drying her hands on her apron. “What is it? What’s happened?”
Peter looked from her to Caleb and back again. “A buggy just turned up the drive. I think it’s Judge Walters.”
Elthia and Peter both turned to Caleb with identically worried expressions on their faces.
He set his cup down and stood, giving them both his best everything’s-gonna-be-all-right smile. It wouldn’t do for them to see how sick he felt inside, how hard he battled the part of himself that pleaded and railed against what he was about to do.
This was it. Time to face the music. He kept the smile firmly in place as he turned them with a hand on their shoulders. “Then let’s go out to meet him, what do you say?”
They reached their visitor just as he pulled the horses to a stop. Peter rushed up to take the reins.
“Thank you.” The judge stepped down, turning to Peter. “I received your letter.”
Elthia’s hand slipped into Caleb’s, and he gave it a reassuring squeeze. Would she hate him for what he was about to do or be relieved that he’d found her a way out?
Peter nodded. “Thank you for coming, sir. But I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to go back to Harvestown anymore.”
Caleb stiffened as the judge turned a suspicious eye his way. Did the man actually think he would coerce the boy?
Judge Walters turned back to Peter. “Well now, that’s a very different story than the one you put in your letter.”
Peter’s hold on the reins turned white-knuckled. “I know, and I’m very sorry, sir. But please, you gotta believe me. I want to stay here with Uncle Caleb and Aunt Elthia. We all do.”
The judge’s expression didn’t reveal his thoughts. “I’m sorry Peter, but this isn’t your decision to make.”
The whipped-puppy look on Peter’s face fanned Caleb’s guilt.
“Take care of the judge’s buggy, Peter,” he said, placing a reassuring hand on his nephew’s shoulder. Then he turned to their visitor. “Shall we move to the parlor, Judge?”
Once in the parlor, they sat as they had once before, with Elthia and Caleb side by side and the judge across from them.
Elthia slipped her hand into the crook of Caleb’s arm, and he patted it. Would this be the last time she’d reach for him? “All right,” he said. “Let’s get to this, shall we?”
The judge nodded. “I take it you already know why I’m here?”
Caleb nodded. “Yes. Peter told us yesterday that he sent the annulment agreement to you.”
One grizzled brow went up. “You don’t deny that you planned to go your separate ways once you’d won custody of the children?”
He met the judge’s gaze evenly. Could he go through with this? “No, I don’t deny it.”
Elthia made a sound of protest. “But—”
Caleb hushed her with another squeeze of her hand. Forgive me, darling. “None of this was Elthia’s idea,” he told the judge. “I sort of backed her into a corner.”
Judge Walters looked from one to the other of them. “You do know that, given such blatant intent to circumvent the spirit of the law, I can hardly approve the adoption.”
“But you can’t—”
This time, thankfully, it was the judge who interrupted Elthia’s protest with a raised hand. “Now, if somehow you could convince me that you have decided to honor your marriage vows and can provide the kind of home these children need, then perhaps we could work this out. I’d have to put you on probation of course. I wouldn’t be able to finalize the adoption in three months. I’d watch how things worked out, maybe for a year or so.”
Elthia leaned forward eagerly. “Oh, sir, that is so generous of you. And we have changed, you’ll see. Caleb and I do want to stay married, to build a life for ourselves and the children.”
Her words painted an achingly tempting picture. They stabbed at him, drove daggers into his determination to do the right thing. He had to drag deep into his resolve to force out the next words with any amount of conviction. “No, we haven’t.”
Elthia pulled her hand away. “Caleb? What are you saying?”
Her withdrawal hurt, even more than he’d expected. He deliberately added a conspiratorial we’ve-been-found-out edge to his smile. “No more games, sweetheart. We gave it our best shot, but we both know you don’t belong here. I appreciate your willingness to stick it out for three months, but I can’t ask you to do it for a year.” It was difficult not to flinch from the hurt reflected in her expression. “Besides, I’m beginning to think I’m not cut out to be a father,” he added for good measure.
“That’s ridiculous!”
Her immediate jump to his defense almost brought a smile to Caleb’s face. Loyal, even in the face of her confusion.
Then she sat back and stared at him as if trying to see through to his soul. “Why are you doing this? Don’t you realize how much we all need you?”
You don’t need me Elthia. Nobody does.
Caleb shrugged. “You’ll survive just fine without me.” But how will I fare without you?
Their gazes locked, and her silent plea demanded he explain. But he also saw trust there, a trust he was about to betray.
The sound of the judge clearing his throat brought reprieve. “I’m not sure what’s going on,” he said, “though I have my suspicions. However, Mr. Tanner you leave me no choice. Your request for adoption is denied and the children will be removed from your custody.”
“No.”
The sob in Elthia’s voice stabbed at Caleb. His arms ached to pull her close, to comfort her, to stroke away her pain.
He surged to his feet. He had to draw this nightmare to a close, had to get out of here before she laid his defenses bare. “How much time do we have?”
Elthia stared at him in confusion and disbelief.
Don’t hate me, he silently pleaded. I’m doing this for you. Someday you’ll see it was the right thing.
“You’ve got until day after tomorrow,” the judge answered. “That’ll give me time to make all the arrangements for transportation and accommodations.”
Caleb nodded. “My aunt Dorothy’s circumstances have changed. I believe she’s willing to take them all now.” That was the only thing that made this bearable, the knowledge that all of the children would be able to stay together. This second move would be hard on them, but they would have each other to lean on and they would be back in the part of the country they were familiar with. Eventually they would settle in and understand it was for the best.
He only hoped they would eventually forgive him.
“I won’t be making any hasty decisions about adoption, but that may work as a temporary solution until I do.” Judge Walters stood. “I guess I’d better head into town and see about finding a room.”
Elthia stood as well. “We’d be glad to have you stay here with us, sir. There’s plenty of room.”
Caleb wanted to applaud her for showing such grace, such generosity, in the midst of her confusion and dismay. Would he ever find another such woman? Hang it all, who was he trying to fool—there wouldn’t be any other woman for him.
Judge Walters shook his head. “Thank you, Mrs. Tanner, but I think it best if I stay in town. I’ll need to be close to the telegraph and the livery. Besides, you’ll want some privacy as you get the children prepared to move again.”
Caleb grabbed the chance to end this. “I’ll see you out.” He turned to Elthia, steeling himself to meet her gaze. “Perhaps you’d better gather up the children so we can talk to them.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You and I are going to talk first.”
Caleb gave a short nod. Might as well get it over with. “I’ll be back in a minute.” It wasn’t a conversation he looked forward to. She knew him too well. Facing her questions and accusations would be worse than confronting the children.
He bolstered his flagging resolve as he and the judge stepped outside. He was doing the right thing. Even though it hurt like a
knife to the chest to see the betrayed look on her face, she would be better off in the long run. They all would.
Judge Walters was the first to break the silence. “I hope you know what you’re doing, son.”
So do I. Caleb jammed his hands in his pockets. “I’m just facing facts, Judge. I’m not the right man for the job.”
“I don’t think your wife would agree with you there.”
Caleb flashed him a self-mocking smile, handing the judge the reins as he settled in his seat. “She will soon enough.”
Judge Walters merely shook his head. “Remember, pride makes for a cold bedfellow. It does little to ease a man’s soul or raise his spirits on a lonely night.”
Caleb raked a hand through his hair as he watched the wagon move away. Was the judge trying to say he wanted him to keep the children? Wasn’t he supposed to be looking after their best interests? Hadn’t he read that annulment contract or heard what Caleb had forced himself to say there in the parlor?
Caleb turned to face the house. Elthia was waiting for him inside. For a second he contemplated turning toward his workshop and shutting the door on all of this.
With a sigh, he moved to the front porch.
He’d have to face her and the children, have to live through two days of questions, accusations, and hurt looks.
Then they would all be gone and the true torment would begin.
Elthia paced between the sofas and the piano. Why had he done this? He still cared about her and the children, she knew down to the core of her being he did. What had happened to make him do this?
It wasn’t the conversation with Peter. That had only seemed to make him more determined than ever to keep them together. So what had happened since—
The telegram.
He’d learned about her father’s wealth and, predictably, it hadn’t sat well with him. Was that what this was all about? Surely he wouldn’t react so drastically to what was, after all, an unrelated bit information.
Would he?
The creak of the screen door halted her pacing. She listened to his measured footsteps in the hall, forcing herself to wait. When he finally stepped into the parlor, her heart missed a beat. Heaven help her, she loved him. Really and truly until death do us part loved him. Why hadn’t she realized that before now? She couldn’t let him send her away without a fight.
His expression was wary, ready for combat. Well, she wasn’t about to disappoint him. “You lied to me,” she accused.
She could tell by the way his brows drew down that she’d not only surprised him but got his back up. Good! “You said you’d make sure this all worked out for the best. That was a lie.”
He paused, still several feet away from her. “That all depends on how you look at it, I suppose.”
“How dare you say such a thing! This is not best for all of us, no matter how you look at it. What about those promises you made to me, promises that the two of us were going to make this marriage, this family, work?”
His jaw tightened almost imperceptibly. “I shouldn’t have spoken before I thought it all the way through. I just finally realized this arrangement wasn’t working after all.”
“This arrangement?” She couldn’t believe he was being so casual. “This is a family, Caleb, and you have no right to make such a decision without consulting the rest of us.”
Plowing his hair with his fingers, he didn’t quite meet her gaze. “Blast it, Elthia, just let it be! What’s done is done.”
Just as she’d thought. He wasn’t any happier about this than she was. She took a step forward. “Does your finding out about my father’s money have anything to do with this?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
She took another step, bringing her within touching distance. And, heaven help her, she did want to touch him, wanted him to touch her. “That’s not an answer.”
His hands fisted at his sides. “You don’t belong here, Elthia,” he said, his voice harsh. “You never did. Go back to your fancy house and your army of servants.”
No! He didn’t mean that. She couldn’t have made such a mistake. He needed her, cared for her. She knew he did. How could she not belong here—she was his wife.
His lips twisted cynically. “You chose the wrong man again, sweetheart. Perhaps you’ll have better luck next time.”
Almost of its own accord, her hand flew up and slapped him across the cheek. Shocked by what she’d done, Elthia raised a fist to her mouth and stared in horror at the flaming hand print forming on his face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”
This time his expression softened into that sweet, crooked smile that could set her stomach to fluttering. Now it only twisted the knife of his rejection more cruelly. “Don’t worry. I imagine I deserved that.”
Unable to suppress a betraying sob, Elthia turned and fled the room without another word.
Two days later, Elthia stood beside the wagon as Caleb loaded the last of her trunks. She took a final look around the place that had come to feel so much like home. She ached with the knowledge of just how much she was going to miss it here.
Already the place looked emptier, sadder. The children had left an hour ago, tucked securely in the private coach the judge had hired for the six-hour ride to transport him and the children to the train station. The goodbyes had been heart-wrenching. Josie cried openly, and the others looked like they wanted to. Watching the carriage pull away, she experienced the same wretched, this-can’t-be-happening grief as she had at her mother’s funeral.
Judge Walters had offered to give her a ride in their coach, but she’d declined. Putting the children through one such farewell was hard enough, she didn’t have the heart to put them through another one. Besides, she wanted more time with Caleb.
She’d shed more tears these past two days than she’d thought a body could produce. They’d soaked her pillows at night and trickled down her cheeks as she watched the children leave. Her throat was scratchy and raw from the sobs she’d already choked out and from the need to release more. But she wouldn’t cry again, not in front of Caleb. She’d save any tears she had left for the long ride ahead of her.
She would be returning to Massachusetts a very different person from the one who’d set out to prove herself not so long ago.
“That’s it.” Caleb’s words drew her attention back to the present. “I guess we’re ready to go now.”
He moved to help her climb into the wagon, but she stopped him with a raised hand. There was still a chance for them, she thought desperately. She just had to make him see how wrong his thinking was. “Before we go, I want to say one more thing.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Elthia, we’ve already—”
“No! You’re going to hear me out if I have to stand here all day.” She tightened her hold on Poppy’s cloth-covered basket and tilted her chin up at him.
With a sigh, he nodded.
Elthia said a silent prayer, knowing it was important she get the words just right. “Last night I figured out why you’re acting this way, deliberately pushing me and the children away.”
His raised brow told her she had his attention.
“People have been leaving you all your life,” she began, “and it’s made you believe that they always will. So you made the first move this time. After we’re gone, you’re going to say this was just one more example.”
The tic under his eye told her she’d been right.
The stubborn thrust of his jaw told her it didn’t matter.
He opened his mouth to protest, but she held her hand up, determined to get through to him. “Let me finish. You’re wrong. I would never have left you. So long as I felt I had your love and your trust, I would have had everything I ever wanted, ever dreamed of, right here.”
She pushed at her glasses, convinced now that she was right. “But you won’t believe that, so yes, I’m leaving. Not because there’s no room in my life for you like what happened with your family all those years ago. Not for another man
, like what happened with your fiancée. Not even because you don’t have money to hire servants and buy me the fine things you seem to think I crave.”
She poked a finger at his chest. “I’m leaving because you’re not man enough to open yourself to unconditional love. The kind of love I’d give everything I own to share with you.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed once, but he gave no other indication that he’d understood any of what she’d said.
After another moment of resounding silence, Elthia sighed and felt her shoulders droop. She’d failed. She’d handed him her heart, and he’d refused to take it. There was nothing left but to say goodbye. Turning, she placed Poppy’s basket under the seat, careful to make sure the cloth covering stayed in place.
She wouldn’t get down on her knees and beg.
No, that was a lie. If she thought it would make a difference, she might even do that. But it was up to him now.
Climbing up beside her, Caleb picked up the reins, though he didn’t immediately set the buckboard in motion. “Elthia,” he said, keeping his eyes focused straight ahead.
“Yes.” Her heart skipped a beat. Had she finally gotten through to him? Was he ready to see that he’d made a mistake?
“I just want you to know, I’m still willing to support you when you get ready to seek an annulment or divorce.”
Elthia’s spirits plummeted again. Did he really care so little for what she and the children wanted? “I’ve told you before, an annulment is out of the question now. Our lovemaking may have meant nothing to you, but it meant a great deal to me, and I will not demean its significance by denying it took place.” The memory of that blissful night tingled through her. It was impossible to think of sharing such intimacies with another. How could she bear to never feel such passionate magic again?
She tossed her head, feeling a spark of anger at his readiness to dismiss all they’d shared. “If you want to be free of our marriage, you’ll have to be the one to seek the divorce.”
Was that a gleam of pleasure she saw in his eyes? Or only wishful thinking on her part?
They made the entire trip to Whistling Oak without exchanging another word. The only sounds to mark their passage were the clopping of the horses’ hooves on the hard-packed earth, the jingling of the harness, and the occasional trill or insect hum along the roadside. Caleb remained as stiff and unrelenting as the wagon seat. Elthia felt little pieces of her soul dropping in the dust behind her like a trail of bread crumbs. She was actually glad to see the station come into view even though it meant the final goodbyes were upon them.
The Unexpected Bride Page 28
