by Mirajane
“This feels great,” I said as I hopped on the lift with Heather. We’d just finished a run and were now going back up for another go. I took several deep breaths of the cool, high altitude air. It gave me a little bit of a head rush, but it was not at all unpleasant.
“Yes, it does. I love getting the girls back together. It’s been too long.”
“I’m sorry that I bailed and just haven’t kept in touch with you guys,” I said. “It was not right.”
She shrugged. “We understand. And it’s ok. We can fix things going forward. We never stopped being friends.”
“Thanks.”
I was glad to get that cleared up. I knew that there was some unresolved tension between the four of us and I wanted to get anything like that cleared up before the end of the week. It looked like it was not as big of an issue as I’d made it up to be in my mind.
“So, how are things in your side of the romance aisle?” I asked her.
She blushed a little bit. “Oh, I was dating a great guy named John. But he moved away. He got some job offer in Minnesota and he couldn’t pass it up.”
She seemed a bit heartbroken by this.
“That’s rough. I’m sorry,” I said.
“He offered for me to go with him.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“We had only been together six months. It seemed that staying here was the right thing. I couldn’t imagine uprooting my entire life to go off with some guy that I’d only known for six months.”
“But…”I goaded. I could tell she was not telling me how she really felt yet.
She smiled with sadness in her eyes. “But, I miss him.”
“Do you think you made the wrong choice?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. But I’m here with my family, which is important. My mom’s happy that I stayed. But I’m not so sure that I shouldn’t have gone with him. I miss him like crazy. We had a great thing together.”
“Well, what is he doing now? Is he with anybody?” I asked.
“I haven’t seen anything on his social media about it, but I don’t know.”
“You didn’t want to try to date long distance.”
“No. That is a few thousand miles away. It just wouldn’t work. I don’t know how we would make it.”
“Well, why don’t you talk to him and tell him you changed your mind? At least try it and if it doesn’t work then you can just go back to the way things were before. You can just move back home. You can always come here, right? That’s one thing I’ve learned, especially since being back.”
“You think I could?”
“Sure. Why not?”
She sighed. “I don’t know. It just seems… scary, I guess.”
“It’s ok to be scared. That’s normal. You can never let that sort of fear really stop you. I know it’s tough, but you really have nothing to lose. You just go for it and if it didn’t work, then you just come back as if nothing ever happened.”
“You make it sound simple.”
“It is,” I said. “It really isn’t that hard. You are blowing it up hard in your mind.”
“You’re right. I guess I’ve got some thinking to do about this.”
“Well, if you think this guy is worth fighting for then I say go for it.”
We got off the ski lift and then walked towards our starting points to go for another run at this hill. “I think he is,” Heather replied.
She hugged me tightly. “Thanks.”
“Sure.”
“So, I know you are tired of hearing this, but how do you really feel about Tyler? I mean, do you think it is at all creepy that he told you he used to have a huge crush on you and now he is still interested? I mean, what do you think the odds are that he has been thinking about this and pining over you the last four years?”
“What the hell? That is a creepy thought,” I laughed. “But it’s not true. As far as I can tell, there is nothing creepy about Tyler.”
She shook her head and chuckled to herself. We got on our starts and started to ski down the hill. She quickly overtook me and was gaining ground far in front of me. I didn’t care. I was still relearning somethings, my muscle memory failing me a bit. It would take a while for me to get it back, that is if I decided to start skiing again regularly.
Heather’s words were now stuck in my head. I wasn’t sure how in the hell she was able to plant the tiniest seed of doubt in my head about something and I would watch it grow into some kind of monster there. I didn’t even think that she was at all in control of that. She didn’t even realize she was doing it.
But I hoped I was able to give her some good advice at least. She deserved to be with a good guy. And I thought she was a bit jealous that I had become so close to Tyler so fast. It had to have been hard when the man you cared about was so far away, and I swooped in and took a great guy without even trying. But it was one of those odd circumstances. Heather and the other girls would just have to be jealous.
Even though they had no right to be. They’d treated Tyler like dirt in school.
I finished the run and then we went back to the lodge where Nia was finishing up her beginner’s class with her new friend Instructor Frankie. The two of them seemed to be getting rather cozy and having a blast as she pretended to be worse at skiing than she actually was. I knew her well enough to know when she was flirting, and her main style of flirting was to pretend to be absolutely helpless and in need of strong, manly help. It was setting the feminist movement back decades, but she seemed to enjoy it.
Lori and Jackie finished up their runs and met us a short while later. It was getting dark and we still had a two and a half our drive ahead of us. So, we decided to call it a trip and head home. I was excited to get back. If we got back early enough, I thought I might be able to interest Tyler in a nightcap.
But maybe not. After all, I didn’t want to seem too eager. He had not contacted me all day. Was he busy? Playing a little hard to get? Or was he just inadvertently doing the right thing to drive me crazy and make me think about him nonstop?
Whatever he was up to, it was working like a charm. I could hardly wait to get inside of those big manly arms of his.
I smiled to myself as we piled in the car and headed back. I was tired, but excited. I felt strange, almost as if I’d been running from something that I never should have been running from. Athens was my home and it would always be, no matter where I lived. I needed to embrace it. I’d let angry teenagers run me out of there and it had taken me away from a part of my life. I realized that after leaving town that it had continued to haunt me. It had affected my self-esteem to the point that I felt I wasn’t good enough. It had limited my ability to take risks. And now it no longer mattered what had happened. Tyler was an inspiration to me. He’d overcome great odds to become someone that he’d been told he would never be. He had been bullied and beaten down. He did not run and hide; he retreated. He regrouped and he’d come back stronger than ever.
And now he cared about me. Could I even say that he actually loved me? I believed so, but I wouldn’t presume to put words into his mouth. But I wanted to believe it. I’d never been in love. I wondered what it would feel like. I had to believe that I was feeling the beginning stages of it now. I was already infatuated with, and even addicted to this man. I could not go over a minute or two without thinking of him, or without wishing I was with him. I craved his touch. I lusted for him. I needed his hard cock inside of me again, his warm embrace, his sweet lips on mine, and I needed to look into his eyes and see that he loved me. I had to see that right there when I looked at him.
I had a feeling that I’d finally found exactly what I was looking for.
Chapter Fourteen
Tyler
I was a bit nervous. I’d woken up early that morning and got my workout in, a good high protein breakfast, a hot shower, and I was dressed to impress, but not too impressive. I was ready to deliver a great speech to some impressionable young people. I doubted that they wanted to hear a word
I had to say, but hopefully they would at least pretend to pay attention since I was at least a distraction from their stupid schoolwork.
I waited outside of the classroom until Brad announced me. I took a deep breath and stepped inside the classroom. Everyone in there looked way younger than I thought they would look. It seemed like high school kids looked younger and more immature every single year. And I was pretty convinced they were all on dope.
I took another deep breath and tried to steady myself. They could sense fear, I knew it. But if I tapped into the bear just a bit, I’d be able to sense fear as well. Although, I might not be able to stop after I did so. If I changed into a bear in front of all these kids, they would probably all have it on their Instagram’s before I could blink. It was crazy what was happening with today’s youth. They knew nothing because everything was already known for them.
“Hey, everybody,” I said. “My name is Tyler Chambers. I went here. Yeah, I graduated from Athens and I even had Mr. Stewart. So, I’ve been right where you are. Now, a lot of you are probably wondering what you want to do after you graduate and what you want to do with your lives after that. You may be saying that you don’t even want to go to college, or you want to take some time to figure things out. Well, I tell you, college is one of the best places to find yourself. Or you can go out into the world and actually do it, but that often takes so much longer, and it can be far more costly.”
The kids were all looking at me as if I had egg all over my face, but I didn’t care. I was really getting into my speech. I was just about to get to the part where I explained to the kids that even though I dropped out of college, there was no reason they should have really followed my footsteps in that, when I noticed a few of the girls were smiling and hanging on my every word. They seemed to be really checking me out. It was a little unsettling to have sixteen year old girls looking at me that way, but it got me thinking how I would have killed to have that when I was sixteen.
I tried to ignore it and got back into my speech. Brad Stewart was sitting at his desk with his feet up reading a book. That was a good way to inspire the kids to listen to me, I thought. He could have at least pretended that he cared.
“After high school, I went to college and I worked hard. I was studying computer programming and working on getting a degree in technology, but at the same time I started working on my own software. That’s been my passion as far as I can remember. I’ve always wanted to do that. And so, when I had some free time, I went for it. And I didn’t really have that much free time. I had to make some. I sacrificed sleep. I sacrificed going out to party and hangout on weekends, and I went to a fairly well known party school. The point I’m trying to make is that no matter what your dream is, you need to fight to protect it at all cost.”
The girls were now smiling widely at me and doing their best to get my attention. I continued to ignore them.
I noticed a boy in the back had his hand raised. “Yes,” I said.
“Didn’t you drop out of school? I think I read that somewhere.”
Ah, someone who actually knew who I was. He seemed to be a nerdy sort of kid. He actually reminded me of myself at his age.
“Yes, I did. But not until I was already doing a few things on the business front. I was making great money, and I really didn’t have time in the day to run the business anymore and still go to school. So I had to make that choice. Notice, I didn’t quit school and then hope that I would make it in business. I made it in business first.”
He nodded.
It felt good to connect to at least one kid. I was enjoying myself.
Another kid raised their hand. A girl in the front row this time. “How much money do you make?”
I smiled. I wasn’t sure I was going to divulge that to her, but at least now it seemed I really had their attention.
Ok, now this was getting interesting…
I spoke for the rest of the period, explaining to the kids about business, about following your dreams, about determination, and also about what it really took to succeed in the world and why most people failed. Before I knew it, the bell was ringing to end the period. It was over in a flash. I was just warming up. It felt almost like I was doing a Ted talk or something. Several of the kids shook my hand and thanked me.
“Well, that was great,” Brad said after the students had left. “I knew they would dig you.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t so sure, but everything really just came along there.”
“Thanks so much for coming,” he said.
“Don’t mention it,” I said.
“Hey, would you like to come over to my place tomorrow night for dinner? I was thinking of firing up the barbecue. It’s supposed to be warmer tomorrow night. Would be a perfect time for it.”
“Ok, sure. That sounds like fun,” I said. I wasn’t sure why I was saying yes, but it sounded like it might be a good evening out. “I might bring Angie Silver.”
“Oh, Angie. Of course. I remember her. I’d love to catch up with the both of you.”
“Great,” I said. “We’ll be there.”
I left the school and went home to catch up on some work I needed to get done. Then I planned to spend the afternoon with my grandma. We might go into town and get some shopping done. Then maybe we would have dinner at her place that night. It sounded great, but I really wanted to spend time with Angie. I missed her like crazy. I could not get her out of my head. I could feel her when I closed my eyes. I could smell her sweet scent. Andi could still taste her on my tongue. I wanted to kiss her, licked her skin, inhale her, and once again let her sweet nectar drip from that magical opening between her legs onto my tongue.
I felt a bit faint at the thought. I needed her so badly.
When I got home, I sat down at the computer and got back into the work I was doing earlier. I worked for about two hours, fixed a quick lunch, and then went to pick up my grandmother. We spent most of the afternoon shopping and just looking around at the stores. She loved getting out to do that, and with her age she didn’t feel that she could go as much as she used to. She was still pretty strong, but I could tell that her confidence in herself had really been shaken.
We were walking around Target when my phone rang. It was Angie. I was glad to hear from her. She said that she and her friends were just about to get in the car to come back home. She wondered if I wanted to have a drink at my place that night. I loved the sound of that. “Sure,” I said. “How about ten o’clock?”
“I’ll be there,” she said.
That was music to my ears. Angie would most likely be staying over again.
“Oh, by the way. We got invited to a barbecue tomorrow night at Mr. Stewart’s house. You remember him, right?”
There was a pause. “Mr. Stewart? That guy is so creepy.”
“What? He isn’t that bad. I think he is just a bit eccentric. That’s all.”
“No, he is certifiably weird,” Angie replied. “I don’t really want to go.”
“Well, you don’t have to. I’m going though. So, I was hoping we could make an evening out of it together.”
She sighed. “Ok, I guess I can make it work.”
“Up to you,” I said. “But I’ll see you tonight.”
“Sure. See you then. Bye.”
The call ended. I wasn’t sure if Angie was pissed off or not about this barbecue, but if she was then she didn’t have to go. It was that simple. She could just say no.
“You two getting serious?” My grandmother asked. “She was always such a lovely girl. Glad to see she finally came to her senses.”
I smiled. Grandma had my back. “I don’t know if we are getting serious or not. I don’t want to rush things, and I don’t want to scare her off. So, I’m playing it cool and taking my time.”
“Ugh, nonsense. In my day, we didn’t play those games. If you liked someone then you told them so. If they didn’t like you back, then they told you. There was none of this maybe, I don’t know stuff. It’s hogwash.”
&
nbsp; I laughed, but my grandmother did have a point. Maybe I was being weird about just telling Angie exactly how I felt. But how was that? Did I love her? Was I totally in love with her? I believed I was. I couldn’t imagine going back to a life that was without her. I would go nuts. I desperately needed her, and that was scary to me. I was not used to needing anyone. After so many people had cast me out and turned their backs on me, I had become somewhat embittered. This was a good thing, actually. It made me strong and resilient. But it also made me very untrusting. This was the first time I’d really let my guard down and tried to be with someone.
I finished up shopping with my grandmother and we went back to her house to have dinner. We decided to order pizza delivery and the two of us watched a Christmas movie and just enjoyed being together. It had been too long since I’d made time to be with her. After my parents were killed, she took me in and raised me. I would not have been the man I became it weren’t for her. She was my rock and she had always taken such great care of me. It hurt me to see her health starting to fail a bit and her becoming older and feebler. It tore me up to see that and I vowed to spend as much time as I could with her from now on. But even she would have told me to live my life to the fullest. She didn’t want me to stop working, or to give up on finding that perfect woman. She just wanted me to be happy. I would have gladly put everything on hold for her, but she never would have allowed it.
“Your parents would be so proud of you,” my grandmother said as we finished the movie. I wished they were here to see how you’ve grown up. But they are watching. I know this.”
“I can feel them with me sometimes,” I said. “When things get too hard, sometimes I can just feel their presence. Like, when I don’t think I’ll be able to do something. I’m not sure I know what I’m doing, or I’m full of self-doubt. Suddenly, I’ll feel this overwhelming calmness.”
