It didn’t seem fair. I couldn’t shake the feeling even though I knew it wasn’t reasonable. So what if Kyle got to experience something special, something that I thought was just for Marcus and me? It changed his mind. It completely changed him, and for the better. I should be relieved about that, and happy that he apologized, right?
It felt bitter in my mouth. I couldn’t accept it yet, not that part. I knew I would, but right now I wasn’t ready.
Another thought popped up… Hadn’t Jazz asked about having dreams? I had forgotten about it since then, and even while Marcus and I had dreamed together. It didn’t seem to relate to Jazz at all, but if Kyle had special dreams maybe Jazz dreamed about something too. Marcus and I had dreamed about snowboarding together, and Kyle and dreamed about how he acted and how it affected me, so what would Jazz dream about? It didn’t make any sense, and I was twisting my brain into a knot.
I looked up, still dazed, and realized I was home already. The house was empty and dark inside so I flicked on all the lights as I walked back to my room. Tonight, I didn’t even check the time, didn’t stop to take a shower, I just called Marcus.
“Hey, babe, how’s it going?” His voice held pleasure and excitement. I wanted to fall into it. That voice was so familiar, like my own now. I needed that reassurance. I needed to know we still had a connection.
“Good. I think.” I stopped awkwardly, wanting to tell him about Kyle but not wanting to start off our conversation with that. “School’s kinda crazy, but I expected that. I have so much to do.”
He didn’t answer right back, and I bit my lip. Of course, I wasn’t looking at physical therapy and the uncertainty that he was. I wanted to backtrack and asked, “How are you feeling?”
He spoke too, saying, “You can do it, Ave. I know how determined you are.”
“Thanks… you doing okay?”
He made a noise, and this time I couldn’t tell what it meant. Irritated?
“I’m okay. Just trying to get up and get moving.”
Oh, that was the noise.
“So I went for a short run.” I thought I might be able to lead into what just happened.
“You’re running without me?” Amusement. Good, he wasn’t sad about it.
“I wasn’t sure where to start on the homework so I worked out instead. I just got back actually.” How to tell him about Kyle? I put it off by mumbling, “I probably need a shower…”
Of course, that brought up all kinds of pictures. Wow, my mind went down that road real quick.
“Oh, really? I jumped in the shower with you once, and as I recall, you fell out backwards.” He laughed softly. “But that was nothing compared to what it did to me. God, I wish you were here. I wish we could be together.”
I sighed, then teased, “And may I remind you that you told me to come back to school.”
“Don’t make me regret it. Cause I’ll have to…” He got lost in his own thoughts for a while. I waited, confused. Then he said, “When I’m up to speed, even halfway up to speed, I’m going to show you all the things I’ve been thinking about.”
I sucked in my breath as heat sprang to life lower in my body. Luckily he remained quiet. I wasn’t sure I could handle it if he started actually sharing those plans…
Now it really felt strange to bring up Kyle. After a quiet minute, I finally came up with something else. “So did you and your parents talk about me? About what happened before?”
A pause.
“Yeah… a little bit.”
“I’m wondering how your parents will feel when I come back up there.” Actually, I wanted to know if they’d tried to do anything to prevent that, or if they would. I didn’t want to paint them as villains to their own son, so I was treading lightly.
“Ahh, they’re still weirded out. They just need time, babe. They’ll come around.”
Was he holding back? What if we were both sitting on things and not sharing?
“Hmm, hmm,” I said instead of words. Would they? And what would happen if they were trying to keep me away from him?
Chapter Twelve
Kristina
Was that Avery?
I did a double take on my way to my first class, and I still didn’t believe it. But it was her, speed walking across campus with her head down. I wanted so badly to call out and stop her, but the last time we saw each other I slammed the door and walked out without a word.
I’d blamed her for my problems with Kyle, and I know full well she didn’t try to steal him. It’s been Kyle all along. He tried to kiss her on the coast trip, and he hasn’t treated her well outside of that. I just wonder why it took me so long to see the truth.
Did Jazz and Dawn know Avery was back? They had to, right? They lived in the same house as her.
I reached my class early and joined the others waiting to go into the class. Tears pooled in my eyes and I felt my mouth trembling, so I turned around to stare at the wall.
“Hey Kris,” Dawn said next to me before I noticed her there. “Uh, what’s wrong?”
I shook my head and wiped at my eyes.
“Hey, listen, Avery came home.”
“I know,” I said quietly. “I saw her just a few minutes ago.”
Dawn started to say something and cut herself off. She probably just figured out that seeing Avery is what had me upset. I gave in and asked her, “Did she say anything to you?”
“I haven’t actually seen her. Jazz told me she came back. I haven’t been at the house much.”
We went inside and sat down in our normal seats. I spent class mindlessly doodling in my notebook, once in a while catching a line of the lecture, and thinking about what to do.
A paper slid onto my desk. I glanced at Dawn before reading the words: We should talk to Jazz and Avery.
I wrote, I know, I’ll think about it, and slid the paper back. It’d been a while since I passed notes in class.
Dawn was right. I couldn’t keep hiding like this—I needed to go home. I’d been staying with different friends and avoiding reality. I didn’t want anything to do with Kyle anymore, but I wanted to know what happened between him and Avery. Did it start on the coast trip? Had he been in love with her all that time, ever since they broke up? Was he always an asshole and I somehow overlooked it?
Was I the asshole? Did I steal him away from Avery and then end our friendship when he tried to kiss her?
I might have told Avery as much, back when we had that party at the house. She asked me point blank, I think, and I told her I stole Kyle. Sometimes I wonder if I made that night up, or at least that part of the night, because we didn’t act any differently after that. We just went on like things were normal. Wow, I really have been a shitty friend.
I held my phone under the desk and texted Avery. When I hit send, I felt like something big would happen. Even held my breath. Nothing did, of course, and I sat staring at the screen.
Everyone got up at once, startling me. I shoved my phone and notebook into my bag and started after Dawn.
“Talk later?” she asked, hurt in her eyes.
But why hurt? Had I been ignoring her too? She’s always been bad about hiding emotions. Some people think she’s shallow, but in my opinion it doesn’t hurt to have one completely honest person in your life.
“Yeah… and Dawn, I’ll talk to them,” I said. That brought a weak smile so I added, “We’ll fix this, okay?”
She had another class, so we split up in the hallway, and I headed across to the cafeteria. I’d gotten good at avoiding people over the last few weeks, which involved keeping an eye out for any of my friends. Or, old friends. This time, when I was actually looking for them and wanting to talk, I didn’t see Jazz or Avery.
I still hadn’t talked to Jazz about my room at the house or what we were going to do. Avery might have officially kicked me out by now for all I knew. But it seems like Jazz would have told me, probably in some kind of official memo. Jazz had been the planner in our group. She’s always managed the house and
rent, and I knew she had to be stressed out about it. I had no idea what to say so I finally texted her and asked, Ave is back?
Yeah, I knew that already but I just didn’t know how to start all this. Her answer came a minute later: We should talk.
Another text: Yeah, she’s back and going to class. That snowboarder guy is awake and remembers her.
I sent a set of question marks in response. She came back with, yeah, like I said we need to talk.
What was going on? What snowboarder guy?
I had to face Jazz anyway, so I asked her to meet me at the cafeteria. While I waited, I went through the line and got us both a sandwich and juice, then sat at a table. She slipped silently into the seat beside me five minutes later.
I slid the tray her way but she wrinkled her nose.
“You know I won’t eat that crap.”
Oh yeah, white bread. Juice with sugar. I sighed and bit into my sandwich, mostly to avoid talking.
“Where are you staying?” she asked right away. Jazz is always direct, but she’s very caring. She looked troubled now, the soft skin under her eyes dark from lack of sleep. Her long straight hair was pulled up into a knot, which is her get-down-to-business style.
“With Dawn’s friend Caitlyn.”
“Caitlyn Jenkins? Oh my god. You’re that desperate to stay out of the house?”
I rolled my eyes. “Caitlyn isn’t that bad, if you don’t mind her constant complaining or snoring or how she leaves peach pits all over the house.” I had to stop a laugh. Caitlyn was bad. She’s annoying as hell, but slightly better than being homeless.
“So you want to stay there?” She touched my hand, the hope in her eyes and her touch asking more than her words.
“Would Avery let me come back?”
Jazz looked ready to answer but didn’t. It was the tiniest pause, but with big implications.
“I think so,” she finally said, her gaze on the table. “I don’t think she’s even mad.”
I sank back in my chair.
“We’ll talk it out,” Jazz said sincerely.
I washed the sandwich down with the apple juice and waved the empty bottle at her. “So who’s the snowboarder guy you mentioned? Avery met someone else?”
She threw back her head in exasperation. “How have you missed so much?”
I expected her jump into a detailed Jazz-style explanation but she just looked out toward the giant windows and people walking by. Jazz didn’t even go on our trip when everything went down, so it’s a little funny that I’m pumping her for information. I waited a minute before saying her name.
“And what happened with Nash?” I asked. “Did he dump her after Kyle kissed her?” I’m surprised those words didn’t stick in my throat.
Jazz studied me, trying to tell if I was as calm as I sounded.
“Her and Nash are over,” she said firmly. Too firmly. Was there a hint of something strange in her voice or expression? “She ran up to Portland to see Marcus Fields, who just woke up from a coma.”
Now how did that make any sense? I shook my head at her, waiting for more. She had that distant look again.
“Why was Avery dating Nash if she had this other guy? Why was he in a coma?” I couldn’t help thinking that if she’d been off with that Marcus, nothing would have happened with Kyle on our coast trip. But that’s not what I wanted—I’m glad I finally saw the truth about him. It hurt like hell but at least I knew what kind of person Kyle was.
Jazz didn’t answer. I followed her gaze and looked behind me. Nash was walking down the court, passing us, with his head down to see his phone. He’s actually kinda hot. I don’t understand why Avery didn’t stick with him. Plus she wanted him for so long! They seemed perfect for each other, both of them so quiet and serious.
That description fit Jazz too. I turned around to tell her what I was thinking only to find her ducked down, hiding behind the table.
“Jazz? What the heck are you doing?”
“Just looking in my bag.” She straightened and stood up. “I’m sorry but I have to take off. I’m late for class.”
She left so quickly I didn’t have time to even say goodbye. I watched Jazz weave through the tables and scurry out of the building, going in the opposite direction of Nash. What in hell’s bells…?
We didn’t discuss any of the things I thought we would, like the house or rent or what happened with Avery. Or, if Jazz was okay. That was completely out of character for her. Apparently I’ve missed a lot.
Chapter Thirteen
Avery
I dropped my pen and rubbed my face. My vision was going blurry and cross-eyed from staring at homework for so long. I came back to class on a Tuesday, and the rest of the week was filled with class, talking to teachers, homework, make up work, trying to catch up with my friends a little, and talking to Marcus at night. We texted throughout the day, but he had therapy and still needed to rest a lot, plus I had a boatload of work here.
I didn’t mention Kyle’s apology to Marcus yet. It seemed better to tell him in person. And it was finally Friday. I could finally go see him.
I started throwing a few things into my bag when I heard the front door close. Jazz and I hadn’t seen each other for a few days now, so I leaned out my bedroom door, hoping it was her. “Jazz?”
“Yeah. Hang on.” She went in her room to drop off her bag and came into mine.
“Glad I caught you before leaving for the weekend.”
“Yeah, me too. I talked to Kris,” she started, falling into my computer chair and curling up into it. I waited for more but she stared at the pictures on my wall, looking rather spaced out for her.
“Was it bad?” I stopped packing and sat on the bed.
“Bad? No. The opposite. She wants to talk this out, and maybe come home.”
Jazz talked in a flat tone and it took a minute for her words to sink in. Why wasn’t she more excited?
“Really?” I asked. “That’s great. Isn’t it? You seem…”
Her gaze shifted to the bag next to me. “You’re heading up to Portland?”
“Yeah, for the weekend…if you’re okay.”
She straightened, giving me a funny look with her dark eyes—and it gave me the distinct feeling something was up with her. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
I shrugged. “You seem preoccupied. You know you can talk to me, right? I’ve spilled everything to you.”
For a split second, she zeroed in on me like she would open up, but the look passed.
“I just have a lot going on, sorry.” She shrugged. “I guess we can talk to Kristina when you get back. Maybe Monday after school?”
That was skirting whatever it was, but it was apparent I wouldn’t get it out of her right now.
“Yeah, sounds good.” We needed to talk to Kris. It might be awkward and hard, but I didn’t want to lose my friend.
Jazz stood and stretched before stepping over to hug me. “Have fun with Marcus.”
“You too, have a fun weekend. We’ll talk when I get back?” I tacked that on, hoping she was okay. She nodded as she left.
So what could be going on with her? I hadn’t been that great of a friend lately with all of my drama going on. Then I remembered… I had planned on telling her about the dreams. I walked out of my room to talk to her again when I heard the front door shut. She’d left. Well, I guess I would talk to her either Sunday night or Monday when we talked to Kristina.
I needed to tell her about Kyle stopping me too. It was really strange that I hadn’t told her yet, but we hadn’t been home at the same time, and I felt like I should tell Marcus first. It was starting to feel like a funny web I’d gotten stuck in. And I really wanted to go see Marcus, so I really just needed to catch up with Jazz when I got back.
I headed out to the car, trying to keep moving and not let my nerves get the better of me. Wasn’t that weird? I was nervous about seeing Marcus again, which didn’t make sense after how close we’d gotten before.
Before. That
was the key word there. Were we still as close? Or had Tom been convincing Marcus that I wasn’t good for him?
I jumped in, started the ignited and started off. Halfway down the street, I pulled in a deep breath, glad to have a drive ahead of me even if I wanted to see him right now.
Why did fate have to bring us together and then have us be five hours apart? Why couldn’t his body have been in a Medford hospital? The thought made me laugh. This was so crazy.
The sky faded to light blue and then darkened as I headed north up 1-5, wrestling with my doubts. Clouds were coming in, making a pretty pink and yellow sunset, but soon after it started to rain. I tried not to take that as a bad sign. Sometimes I can be a bit on the superstitious side.
About halfway through the trip, I pulled into the rest stop by Cottage Grove to find five texts from Marcus.
Why aren’t you here yet? ;)
Okay, don’t slap me for that one when you arrive.
Seriously, you need to come entertain me. Sneak in some real food.
Forget the food. Bring that hot bod of yours.
I want to dream with you again baby.
I laughed and then sighed before texting back: Halfway there! Too bad we can’t teleport, right? Doesn’t seem so odd considering… I can’t wait to see you.
It was dark by the time I drove through Portland and to the hospital. It took ten minutes to find a parking space in the garage, and after I turned the car off, I still sat there for a few minutes. I wanted to see Marcus so bad, and yet I was getting jittery and shaky.
I grabbed my bag and turned on the doom light to brush my hair and refresh my lipstick and powder. At least this time I could look put together when I saw his family.
Finally, I forced myself out of the car. Once I made it inside the hospital, it hit me that walking through the halls made me nervous. I’d come here trying to save Marcus before, and then walked these halls while wondering what his parents were planning to do, and now I’m back wondering how things were between us. I almost thought I’d hear Marcus talking to me, calming me down.
It’ll be okay, Tiger Lily. That’s what he’d say.
In My Dreams (First Tracks Book 2) Page 8
