by Pete Earley
“He’s been practicing making faces at you so he can do it during the meal.”
She thought he was joking.
“Alice, they don’t think you are good enough for me,” he said coldly. “They think you want to marry me because of their money.”
Alice was about to cry. All during the meal, she stared at her plate. She was afraid to look at Don because she thought he might make a face at her. She was afraid to compliment Lois on her decorating skills because she might think all Alice cared about was possessions. Don and Lois were both gracious during the meal. They were friendly to her. But she was too scared to speak. Afterward, she and Jeffrey went to see the movie Romeo and Juliet. Alice spent most of the time in the ladies’ room throwing up.
Jeffrey got called into the Dean of Students’ office when college resumed. He had spent so much time escorting Alice around campus that he had missed most of his own classes. If he didn’t stop cutting class, he would be put on academic suspension.
“You’d better tell Jeffrey to study for the final,” a friend told Alice. “You know he’s never even been to class.”
Alice was shocked. She’d never asked him about his grades. When she confronted him the next day, Jeffrey lied.
“I’m going to class,” he said. “It’s just that no one sees me.”
He told Alice that after he walked her to her classes, he would dash across campus and slip into a seat in the back of his class. He’d leave a few minutes early so he could meet Alice. “The reason no one sees me is because I slip in and out so quietly.
“Besides,” Jeffrey added, “I’m majoring in Alice. It doesn’t matter if I go to class.’’
Jeffrey’s grades weren’t the only ones that had dropped. Alice’s began slipping. There just wasn’t enough time during the day for her to study. Jeffrey loved to play table tennis and he wanted Alice to watch him. He’d taught her how to play too, and together they had won the school’s doubles championship, although Alice joked that her major contribution was jumping out of Jeff’s way when he charged for the Ping-Pong ball. She’d never met anyone as competitive as Jeffrey, nor anyone who hated to lose as much as he did.
The semester passed quickly and it was soon time for the Christmas holidays. Jeffrey failed every one of his classes. He was told that he couldn’t come back for the spring semester. Alice panicked. She knew that Jeffrey was going to lose his draft deferment. Even if he didn’t get called up right away, he would still have to move back to Independence and live with his parents.
Alice telephoned her mother. “We’ve got to get married,” she said. “We can’t wait.”
“If you truly love each other, then you’ll still love each other in a few years after you finish college,” Donna insisted.
Alice wasn’t so certain. What she didn’t and couldn’t tell her mother was that sex had become such a big part of her relationship with Jeffrey that she was afraid he might break off their relationship if they spent time apart. “Sometimes I think the only reason Jeff wants to be with me is because of sex,” she told a friend. “I don’t know what he’d do if I ever told him no.” Alice returned to Odessa at Christmas afraid that she might lose Jeffrey for good.
In Independence, Jeffrey telephoned Sarah Stotts over the holidays. She was home from Graceland College, a small school in Lamoni, Iowa, sponsored by the RLDS Church. When Jeffrey dropped by Sarah’s house to visit, he was surprised. “I had decided to change my image when I went away to Graceland,” Sarah said. “No one there knew that I was shy and scared to death so I jumped right in and decided to overcome my fears and it worked.” Sarah had turned into an outgoing, self-confident woman.
After telling Jeffrey about Graceland, Sarah asked him what was happening in his life. Jeffrey was quiet and then he told her that he wanted to ask her an important question.
“I need to know if there is any chance at all of us getting together, you know, romantically,” he asked.
“What?” Sarah replied.
“Is there a chance that we might end up getting together someday?” he said. “You know, getting married.”
“I don’t think so,” said Sarah.
“Well, how about if you kiss me one time?” Jeffrey continued.
Sarah agreed, but when Jeffrey leaned over to kiss her, she burst out laughing.
“I guess it wouldn’t work,” he said. “The reason I had to know was because if I can’t have you, I guess I will marry someone else who is as close to you as possible.”
Sarah stopped laughing. She hadn’t realized that he felt as strongly as he did about her. More than two decades later, Sarah would still remember what Jeffrey said that night.
“Jeff told me that Alice was pressuring him to get pregnant because she had a bad home life and she wanted to get out of the house, you know, to get married. I told Jeff that he really needed to be careful or he was going to get into something that he didn’t need to get into and he said it didn’t matter.”
“What do you mean, it won’t matter?” she asked.
“If I can’t have you, I’ll marry Alice. But if you and Alice and I were all three in a boat that was sinking and I could only save one of you, I would save you first and if I had a chance, I’d go back and save Alice because I do love Alice, but if it came down to choosing between you and Alice, I’d save you first.”
“Jeff,” Sarah said, “if you really feel that way, you shouldn’t be even talking about getting married. You shouldn’t be rushing into this.”
Sarah would later recall that conversation with confusion and sorrow. “I remember thinking that I had gone away to college and had changed. I had overcome my insecurity. But I don’t think Jeff had ever gotten to the point where he really believed in himself. I think he was looking for someone to love him and tell him that he was worth loving.”
Jeffrey invited Alice to his house on Christmas Day, but she felt self-conscious when she got there. She had brought gifts for the Lundgrens, but no one had bought her anything. When she and Jeffrey had a chance to talk in private, she asked if he had told his mom and dad that they wanted to get married. He avoided answering her.
A few weeks after the spring semester started at CMSU, Jeffrey and Alice drove to Odessa to talk to her parents. They had thought of a way to force Don and Lois to give their consent. This is how Donna Keebler remembers what happened. “We were sitting around the kitchen table when Alice and Jeffrey asked us if we would tell Jeff’s parents that Alice was pregnant. I immediately asked her if she was and Alice said no, but they wanted us to lie to Don and Lois so they would have to agree to the marriage.”
“I’m not going to lie for you,” Donna told Jeffrey and Alice. “That’s no way to start a marriage.”
A month later, Jeffrey and Alice returned to talk to Donna and Ralph. This time, Alice said, no one was going to have to lie. Jeffrey called his parents from the Keehlers’ kitchen and broke the news. Don and Lois were furious. Jeffrey asked Donna and Ralph if they’d go with him and Alice to face his parents.
Don led everyone into the family room where he had lined up six chairs. He and Lois had never met Ralph and Donna before.
“I have something to say,” he announced, and for the next several minutes, he blistered Jeffrey. “My dad said I had embarrassed the entire family. That I had ruined the Lundgren name. That he and mom were so embarrassed by what I had done that they couldn’t show their faces at the Slover Park congregation. Then he turned and looked at me and said, ‘It is a great sorrow to me that my first grandchild has to be born a bastard.”’
During the next few minutes, Lois and Donna argued. Lois claimed Alice had trapped Jeffrey. “Lois called Alice a whore,” Donna recalled. Alice began to cry. Donna fired back. This was no way for the Lundgrens to treat their future daughter-in-law. Don jumped into the fray. Jeffrey didn’t have to marry Alice just because she was pregnant. Jeffrey stomped out of the room. He packed a few things and left with Alice and her parents.
The next day was Sun
day and everyone cooled off. On Monday morning, Jeffrey, Alice, and Donna drove to the Independence courthouse to get a wedding license. Don and Lois had agreed to give their consent as long as Jeffrey and Alice promised not to have a big church wedding.
Lois was waiting at the courthouse but she told Jeffrey that she wanted to talk to him privately before they went inside. She led him to her car where his grandparents, Alva and Maude Gadberry, were waiting. For several minutes, Lois and the Gadberrys explained to Jeffrey all of the reasons why he didn’t need to marry Alice. Jeffrey would later tell Alice that his mother had upped the ante. “She offered to pay me off if I would denounce you and walk away.”
On May 5, 1970, Jeffrey and Alice were married at her RLDS church in Odessa. Jeffrey didn’t tell his parents the time, date, or location because he was afraid they might disrupt the ceremony. Just to make certain that none of the Lundgrens showed up, Jeffrey had two of Alice’s relatives stand guard at the front door. The church pews on the left side of the sanctuary, traditionally reserved for the friends and relatives of the bride, were packed with guests. The pews on the groom’s side were completely empty except for one person. Jeffrey’s college pal, Keith Johnson, came to wish him well.
Jeffrey didn’t have enough money to rent a tuxedo. Donna and Ralph paid for it and slipped him another six hundred dollars from their savings to pay for a honeymoon. Jeffrey borrowed the Keehlers’ car and drove his new bride to Arlington, Texas, where they checked into a hotel near the Six Flags Over Texas amusement park. He had been there before with his parents and he figured Alice would enjoy the rides. He had booked a room in the same hotel that he had stayed in with his mom and dad. The morning after their wedding, Jeffrey and Alice arrived at the park early. Jeffrey wanted to spend as much time as possible on the rides. But when they got to the park, Alice’s stomach was upset. It was morning sickness. Jeffrey took Alice back to their hotel, but he soon became jittery. He had already paid for two all-day passes. There wasn’t much point in their both being stuck in the hotel. He kissed her on the forehead and left for the park. He would be back when it closed.
As soon as he shut the door to the room, Alice began to cry. She couldn’t believe that Jeffrey had left her alone on their honeymoon. What had happened to the obsessed college boy who had sent her a long-stemmed rose each day for a week?
Chapter 4
MARRIAGE had seemed so simple when Jeffrey and Alice first fell in love. But that was before Jeffrey flunked out of school and before Don and Lois stopped paying for his room and board. When the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon in May 1970, they had no car, no money, no jobs, and no place to live. Donna Keehler came to the rescue. Jeffrey and Alice could live with her and Ralph rent-free in Odessa until they could afford a place of their own.
Jeffrey knew he was going to be drafted. It was a terrible time to be inducted into the army. By January 1970, some forty thousand Americans had already been killed in Vietnam. Ten thousand of them had died during 1969 alone. And even though Henry Kissinger had secretly begun negotiating an end to the war, some of the most intense fighting still lay ahead. Jeffrey decided to enlist in the navy under a delayed-entry program that didn’t require him to report until late 1970.
Donna had always said that no household was big enough for two families, and between May and November, her axiom proved painfully accurate. What bothered Donna was Jeffrey’s selfishness. He was fairly good at pitching in with household chores, but he refused to share. Whenever Jeffrey earned a few dollars doing odd jobs, he’d immediately spend it on himself without offering to chip in for groceries, gasoline, or other costs at the Keehler house. Some nights, Jeffrey would bring home a large pizza, but rather than sharing it, he would scurry into his bedroom with Alice and shut the door so that they could eat in private. Jeffrey’s between-meal snacking also irked the Keehlers. Three or four times a week, he would buy a liter of Pepsi and frozen chocolate-chip cookie dough. After taking a few sips of the Pepsi, he would cut off the top of the plastic bottle and fill the container with ice, making it into a giant cup. He would drink the entire liter as he ate the raw dough.
There were other problems too. Jeffrey would borrow Donna’s car at night so he could take Alice on rides. Donna understood how the young couple might want to get away. But when Donna got up early the next morning to leave for work, she would always find her gas gauge registering empty. Jeffrey never thought to fill the tank. He didn’t seem to care about anyone but himself.
When Jeffrey left on November 8 for navy training at San Diego, California, only Alice was sorry to see him go. Their baby was due any day and she wanted Jeffrey at the hospital with her. Three weeks after he left, Alice gave birth to Damon Paul Lundgren. She called Jeffrey and told him they had a son. The arrival of a baby at the Keehler household caused new friction between Alice and her two sisters. “Alice always claimed that she was too tired to get up at night, so Sue and I got out of bed and took care of Damon, got him a bottle or whatever,” Terri remembered later. “My mom was working nights so she wasn’t home and didn’t know we were doing all the work at night. We were gone to school by the time she got home. We all found out later that Alice was telling our mother that she had been the one who was up all night. She’d say she was exhausted, and our mother would end up taking care of Damon all day long. That was typical of Alice. She liked to get other people to do her work.”
Jeffrey wasn’t permitted to come home over the Christmas holidays. When he finally got back to Odessa on February 13, 1971, he told Alice that he had two big surprises for her. Alice had bought Jeffrey a mushy Valentine card and she immediately suspected that he had bought her something special to celebrate their first Valentine’s Day as a married couple.
“Okay!” she said, excitedly. “Tell me, tell me!”
“I’ve been studying the scriptures,” he announced. “Go ahead, say a verse; I bet I can tell you where it’s located.”
Alice didn’t know what to say.
“C’mon, Alice,” he pushed. “Test me. Just name one.”
All Alice could think of was a well-known verse from the Book of Mormon. Jeffrey beamed when he named its location.
“I wanted to impress her,” Jeffrey remembered years later. “The scriptures were very precious to Alice and I wanted to show her how much I had learned. At that time, she knew the scriptures much better than I did and she was always harping about them, so I had decided to study them for her.”
Still expecting a Valentine present, Alice urged Jeffrey to tell her his second surprise.
“My father has agreed to bless Damon. It’s all arranged.”
While in San Diego, Jeffrey had written to Don and Lois and asked his father if he would perform a blessing, a major event in the Mormon Church. Jeffrey hadn’t bothered to consult Alice or her parents. Instead, he and his parents had chosen a time, date, and place for the ceremony.
“Is there anything else?” she asked. Jeffrey didn’t know what she meant. Without uttering another word, she handed Jeffrey the Valentine card. He opened it and blushed.
“Alice,” he stammered. “I was so busy, I didn’t have a chance to buy you one.”
The next weekend, Jeffrey and Alice took Damon to Independence to meet his grandparents. Don scooped up Damon in his arms. Lois wasn’t as friendly. Neither of them acknowledged Alice. The afternoon went well as far as Jeffrey was concerned, and Don and Lois asked them to stay for dinner. By the time it was over, Jeffrey was telling his father all about the navy while Lois rocked Damon.
“I was a non-person,” Alice complained on the ride back to Odessa. “I was invisible, like I wasn’t even there. I never want to go back to their house again.”
Damon’s blessing was scheduled for the following Sunday at the Slover Park congregation. The Keehlers drove to Independence with Jeffrey, Alice, and Damon. It was a beautiful ceremony. Damon was carried to the front of the sanctuary during the regular church service. Don held him and said a blessing. He had spent hour
s preparing it and after he finished, some in the congregation were wiping tears from their eyes.
Don and Lois invited friends to their house after church. Ralph and Donna were noticeably absent. Alice reluctantly tagged along. When she arrived, her mother-in-law was waiting. Lois threw her arms around Alice and gave her a hug. All of the anger and hatred she had felt toward Alice had “melted away” during Don’s blessing of Damon, she explained. Alice was no longer a ghost, she was family. Lois began introducing Alice to her friends as her new “daughter.” Jeffrey had to return to San Diego a few days later. Alice and Damon moved to California with him.
Jeffrey was assigned to work as an electrical repairman on the USS Sperry, a supply delivery and repair ship that serviced submarines. But it wasn’t scheduled to leave San Diego harbor for several months so he was temporarily assigned to work as a lifeguard at a base swimming pool. Nearly every day, Alice and Damon would go to the pool with him. He and Alice would play badminton, sunbathe, and gossip about how the wives of other sailors flirted with men at the pool. “We both felt out of place in San Diego,” Jeffrey later said. “It was just too wild for us. We weren’t ready for the California lifestyle.” A fellow crewmember invited them to a party one night, but when they got there, everyone was smoking marijuana. Jeffrey was afraid the police would arrive at any second so he and Alice quickly excused themselves and hurried home.
Alice would later describe that summer as one of the happiest periods in her marriage. Yet there were problems. Jeffrey earned less than $200 per month and the monthly rent for their off-base apartment was $105. They could have lived in military housing for less, but Jeffrey didn’t like having his co-workers as neighbors. Even if they had spent their money frugally, they would have had a tough time. But neither tried to budget or save. Jeffrey continued to snack on Pepsi and cookie dough. Alice hated to cook, preferring to eat out. They both called their parents at various times and asked for cash. Nearly every month, they ran out of food. When that happened, Jeffrey would go over to the ship and raid its galley. He’d smuggle some bread and sandwich fixings out to Alice, who waited in the car.
