“FUCK!”
“It’s going to be okay.”
“Is it Aggie? The whole world thinks you eat pussy and I’m about to be a father with a woman I despise. Are you really okay with that?”
“I’ll have to be, won’t I? Don’t you know how far gone I am for you? I just talked to them about socket wrenches to drive it home. I did it for you.”
“I don’t deserve you baby.”
“Stop saying that. You sure do, every lesbian piece of me.” I smile up at him.
One crisis over… then of course comes the next issue.
The calls started coming in. Everyone a different woman saying they saw me on TV and wanted to take me out. I told them I was flattered, but I was in a loving relationship with my high school sweetheart Jill. I can use her if I need to drive the lesbian angle home, and now I have a metaphorical beard. You know, someone to hide behind.
Currently, I’m at the store picking out my new cell phone with Grant. He insisted I couldn’t continue with how many calls I was receiving and he was pretty sure Michelle was the culprit behind my number being leaked.
“I’ll pay you back with my first paycheck.” I nod my head.
“You will do no such thing. I’m buying it and you’re on my plan now. This is my fault, I owe you. Deal with it.” He kisses my nose. I quickly search the store as paranoia takes over.
“Dude, ease up on the Rudolph kisses. Someone could see.”
“This is going to be harder than I thought.” He grumbles taking a step away from me.
This is us for the next however many months until the baby’s born. But I don’t need the worlds acknowledgement of our relationship. Just Grant and his love. It’s more than enough… for now.
I’ll play my part so I can be with him. If only in secret.
You know what? If I were an honest to goodness lesbian, I think I’d be a lipstick lesbian. I can afford it now!
DAMN YOU’RE A CUTE DRUNK
I slide an earring through the hole in my ear while Grant watches through the mirror. The past few months have been fantastic. There have been no slip ups and we’ve been able to keep a low profile.
There have also been no Michelle run ins. It’s not for her lack of trying. Grant had specific directions for the doorman not to let her in the building. She’s shown up a few times and stormed away when she was denied entry. Serves her right.
Even though we can’t be together the way we want to in public, our relationships grown and I’ve fallen so in love with Grant, I didn’t know loving someone like this was in the cards for me. I know it’s crazy, but I can’t help how I feel.
“I can’t wait to show you around tonight baby.”
“I’m excited to platonically be your date. This feels like high school all over again and going to prom with my cousin.”
“That’s disturbing. Please don’t think of me like a cousin. How the hell did you end up at prom with your cousin?” Grant laughs.
“Mimi called my two cousins in from Florida for the occasion. Boys in my school just didn’t do it for me, so they flew in and took me and Jill. It was a blast!”
“I hope you’re decent this time.” We hear yelled from the front of the condo.
“What the fuck is she doing here?” Grant questions.
“How should I know. Does she have a key or something? Would they fall for a boob flash downstairs? She had to of bribed them somehow.” I stare at him but don’t have to question her sudden appearance long when I see her baby bump displayed in all its glory squished into a snuggly fit evening gown. She looks like she’s about to pop any second.
“When are you due?”
“In a month.”
“You can’t be serious. You look like you’re about ready to pop that thing outta you any second.” Jesus, we have four more weeks of this crap? I thought the end was near!
Michelle rolls her eyes and addresses Grant. “What time will the car be here?”
“Our car will be here in 15 minutes. You’re leaving.”
“Sorry, that doesn’t work for me. The tabloids are questioning why we haven’t been seen lately, so surprise! I’m your date tonight!”
“How did you know we were going? I swear to god Mich, if you’re spying on us…”
“Don’t get your panties in a twist. I heard from a friend you were attending the event. Not exactly hard to figure out since you’ve gone every year of the last five.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” I mumble.
Grant walks over and tips my chin up. He doesn’t say anything but I can see how torn he is with the expression on his face. I’m making this situation harder on him by complaining. He has no choice in the matter and it’s selfish of me.
“It’s okay.” I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. “I’ll call Jill and set up a date so I’m not by myself.”
“I don’t deserve you baby.”
“Stop. I guess we’ll meet you there?”
“No fucking way are you leaving me alone with her. Call Jill and tell her we’ll pick her up on the way and I’ll call my brothers and tell them to get ready quickly. I don’t care how long we have to wait. We’ll probably need the reinforcements to make it through tonight.”
“Okay.” I whisper then lean forward to press my lips to Grant’s.
Just like I thought, Jill was pissed she didn’t have any time to prepare, but she got ready in record time and when she slinked into the back of the limo, she looked glamorous. Just like a young Audrey Hepburn.
“There’s my hot piece of ass! Get over here and give your lover some sugar.” Jill laughs before giving me a hug and sitting next to me.
“And I’m hard.” Trevor says as his eyes track Jill’s every movement. Thank god Grant decided to call them in as reinforcements. Even if Trevor’s eye fucking my date.
“Don’t you two make quite the pair.” Michelle teases.
“And you look like the whore I expected.” Jill smiles and accepts the glass of champagne Ry offers her.
“Are you going to let your little friends talk to me like that Grant?”
“Yup.”
I can’t hide the smile from my face when she starts pouting. Somehow tonight I need to make it through with a little of my sanity left intact. I’m sure Michelle’s going to make it difficult. She’ll amp up her game if she thinks she’s getting to me.
When we get to the venue, somehow me and bitch face are the last ones out.
“Just remember who he’s with tonight Agnes.”
“As long as you remember who he’ll be with later.”
“For now, Agnes.”
“Do you think calling me by my name bothers me? News flash, it’s a solid name. Some might say a classic!”
She huffs for the hundredth time since we got in the car and exits through the open door.
When I get out she’s already whisked Grant down the red carpet. I didn’t know this was such a formal event. If I’m being honest with myself, it bothers the hell out of me that she’s with him. This is my first red carpet event and I don’t get to walk it with the man I’m in love with. Nope, I have my lesbian lover.
Jill throws her arm around my shoulder in support. “You know he hates her.”
“She’s right. Grant is going to be miserable tonight, he can’t stand to be next to her.” Trevor says with disgust all over his face as he watches his brother walk the red carpet.
“It should be me on his arm.”
“Now you’re on my arm darling, let’s get in there and work the room. Forget about everything and get shit faced!”
“I knew there was a reason I kept you around. Just don’t let me get too out of control. You know I can’t handle my alcohol.”
“Consider it done.”
“Wait, don’t you think you should let Ry escort you and I’ll take Jill? Don’t make us walk together.” Trevor pouts his lips.
“Sorry Trev, I have some journalists to show my lady to.” I wink and pull Jill down the carpet. This
won’t be that bad because nobody knows who we are.
As we’re walking by Grant and Michelle I look towards them and it’s like a train wreck. Grant is semi smiling down at Michelle, keeping up appearances like he’s supposed to. Then Michelle reaches up on her toes and presses her lips against Grant’s. I gasp audibly and further torture myself by watching, then see the slight smile on Grant’s lips when he pulls his lips away.
A smile, after kissing another woman. He must feel my eyes on him because he turns towards me and I can see the shock register on his face at my having seen the whole ordeal. I turn on my heel and walk into the charity event with Jill on my arm, thankful she’s here with me.
“It meant nothing.”
“Doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
I will not cry! We make our way to the bar and order a few drinks, pounding them as they come.
“Okay, you don’t want to get sloppy. Slow down Aggie.”
“What will it be ladies? My treat.” Trevor winks at Jill.
Jill looks around quickly before returning her eyes back to Trev. “It’s an open bar.”
“I…” There’s a warm hand sliding across my back then warm breath in my ear.
“You don’t understand, baby. I didn’t…”
I turn my head. Even if it was all her doing, which I’m sure it was. He needs to realize how hard this is for me. Seeing the man you love kissing another woman. It’ll take me a few centuries to burn that image out of my brain. I pick up the shot the bartender brings me and down it in front of him.
“Let’s go Grant.” Michelle pulls him and he goes, albeit reluctantly. As he’s being dragged he tells Jill to watch out for me.
It makes me feel slightly better. Not enough to stop drinking.
“Look at’em over there.” I slur.
Rylan turns around and looks in the direction of his brother. “What am I looking at?”
“He won’t stop staring at me. Doesn’t he know that he’s getting me hot and bothered?”
“Ugh, I’m not talking about this with you.” He murmurs.
“You know what? Let’s go dance Jill!” I pull her arm and interrupt the deep conversation she seems to be having with Trevor.
“Whoa there J-lo. Let me steady my legs, we’ve had a lot to drink.” She starts shaking out her legs before following me to the dance floor.
Fast forward to now. Several hours in and me and Jill are still shaking our money makers on the dance floor. You’d think our babysitters would have stopped us, but they decided to join us a couple songs in. Grant’s plan backfired and I’m thankful because I’m so drunk I can’t process how shitty this night turned out.
I’ve spent more time than is right watching another woman hang all over my boyfriend and I deserved a drink or seven to get through the night. Sure, said boyfriend has been shooting me secret glances and sultry smiles. It’s just so hard! I’m trying to act like a grown adult when all I want to do is moonwalk over there and rip her body away from his. Is it too much to ask to have my boyfriend lay me out on a table and do his best?
I look over as the song changes and see Rylan grinding on some girl and Trevor giving Jill what I assume are his best moves. It didn’t take a lot to persuade her when he first got on the floor because I think she has a slight crush on Trevor.
“I love this fudgling sooonnng!”
“You’ll love anything right now with how much alcohol you’ve consumed.” Jill laughs as she turns towards me and leaves Trevor to himself.
I’m starting to get the distinct feeling we’re being watched. When I look around I see a few photographers on the dance floor. If I weren’t drunk I would have realized my mistake right away. That they’re just people dancing. But I guess paranoia overtakes my system when I drink.
“We jus’hafta do it!”
“Do what?”
“Like in sixth grade when Kenny Loggins double dog dared us to kiss. It’s time to man up and smoocheroo for the paps.”
“You’re crazy. And that wasn’t his name, Kenny Loggins sings Footloose.” She screams over the music.
She’s gonna make this difficult I can tell. I’m just trying to be a good lesbian for my Granty. Failure is not an option!
I sneak attack the hell outta her and crash my mouth to hers. Wasn’t the best idea seeing as she’s as drunk as I am and is a bit unstable. Once I… we’ll call it head butting. Once I head butt her, we fly to the ground in a two-person pig pile.
“I think my lips bleeding.”
“I think I’m gonna have a black eye.” Jill groans.
We laugh our asses off lying on the dance floor until Grant and Trev help us up.
“We’re going home baby. You’ve had too much.”
I shove him away. “I’m gonna crash at Jill’s tonight. Do the walk of shame in the morning.” I wink and try getting away but he doesn’t let me go.
“That doesn’t work for me Aggie. The only walk of shame you’ll do is from my apartment.” He growls.
I halt, stopping both our movements to look at him. “You d’know I’m not a lesbian, right? It would be not real.”
“Damn you’re a cute drunk.”
He leads me outside into the waiting town car. “I’ll be right back after I deal with Michelle.”
“Why do you have to deal with her? Are you going to kiss her goodbye?” I make kissy faces at him.
“Fuck it.” He gets in the car and tells the driver to take us home.
“Where’s Jill?”
“My brothers making sure she gets home safely.”
“Thas’good. Wait… wait.” I try to gather my thoughts and fail. I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. They’re closed almost immediately, but I’m awake. Awake enough to hear Grant’s phone conversation.
“Send them now. I don’t care, it’s happening now!”
Maybe if I were sober I’d realize something huge was about to go down. But until I am, I’ll remain blissfully ignorant until it smacks me in the face.
***
Grant
After staring at Aggie’s sleeping form, I exit my bedroom and walk onto the balcony. This is my favorite place to think. It’s quiet and peaceful late at night after everyone in the city has long since gone home.
I wipe my hands down my face and try to come up with my next plan. I’m disappointed that it took me this long to make a move. It’s just money I keep telling myself.
It’s more than that. The hard part is giving something I’ve worked my ass off for to someone I’ve come to hate. She deserves nothing from me yet she’s getting half of everything. It’s laughable. We didn’t make it to the altar, yet she’s still raking me through the coals.
It’s worth it. Tonight, crossed the line and I can’t put Aggie through something like that again. I should have put an end to it when Michelle showed up earlier demanding to be my date. Fuck, I should have ended it when she kissed me!
There’s a lot of should haves running through my mind. But the fact of the matter is it’s going to happen now. I’ve set the plans in motion to expose Michelle for what she is. A cheating, backstabbing bitch. I hope she’s ready for the backlash that’s sure to come and it almost makes losing half my restaurants to her worth it.
Michelle doesn’t know I’ve had a plan ready. I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but she deserves every bit of this shit storm that’s coming for her. My lawyers have a draft of the contract I signed along with pictures of Michelle in a compromising position with Randy dated from right after we broke up.
My lawyers about to release it to the media anonymously.
I’ve got your number Michelle.
Checkmate.
THE WIND BLEW US HARD
“Arrrgghhhhaaaaa.”
“Good morning sleepy head.”
I can hear him chuckle and I’m not in the mood. “If you laugh at me, I’ll castrate you.”
“What do you have against my dick baby? You’re always threatening it.”
My head poke
s out from under the comforter and the sun is so bright I can’t help but squint. “I love your Big D, but this is your fault if you think about it.”
Grant gets a serious look on his face. “I know Aggie, I’m really sorry about last night. It’s been dealt with.”
I nod my head because I have nothing left in me. Death. I feel like death.
Grant reaches to the side table and picks up a tall glass of water and some pills. “Take these.”
“My savior.” I grab them and swallow the pills down before pulling the comforter back over my head. I’m trying to remember everything that happened last night, but it’s a little fuzzy. God, I could kill Jill for letting me drink so much.
“Oh crap.” I groan.
He pulls the blanket off my head and looks down at me with a sly grin on his face. “It’s finally coming back to you, huh?”
“The dance off?”
“Nobody does the sprinkler like you do baby.”
I groan. “The kiss?”
“Yes, you took your best friend to the ground. If you were a wrestler your finishing move would be the skull crusher.” He’s laughing so hard he can barely catch his breath.
“This isn’t funny!” I whine.
“Listen, we need to talk…” My phone starts ringing from some unknown area of the room.
I finally free myself from the blankets after flopping like a fish out of water. It’s on the floor in the corner of the bedroom and I’ve missed it by the time I manage to get my hands on it. It’s okay because it starts ringing again.
“Hello.”
“Hello! Hello! That’s all you have to say for yourself Agnes Fletcher!”
“That is the generic greeting. Although I suppose sometimes people say sup?”
“I’m sending you a picture, open it immediately.”
I pull the phone from my ear and see the little text notification. When I click on it the picture has my eyes bulging out of my head. A picture of me, drunk as hell, making out with Jill. They must have gotten us just right before we hit the deck.
The Big D Page 10
