Recognition lights her eyes and others in the bar turn to stare at me. From their somber looks and the hush that falls over the room, they already heard the news.
They know before I do. That is so fucking wrong, I can’t even get my head around it.
As the bartender grabs the remote, my anger melts into denial.
Their plane can’t have gone down.
All four of them gone, just like that.
It’s not fucking possible.
Why wasn’t I with them?!
“Someone tell me this isn’t happening,” I mutter under my breath, so gone I don’t even know I said it. On CNN, an anchorman appears center shot. Embedded is a square at the top left of the screen with a two-shot of Sean and Jack, split down the middle. “There! There!” I yell. She stops, gulps, and lays the remote on the bar. The guy who recognized me picks it up and turns up the sound before I even have to ask. The anchorman’s voice rises as he says, “It seems the pilot called in the emergency landing but since then, there’s been no communication with the plane. The report from satellite had them located somewhere off the coast of Florida. The search party is looking for the Stone brothers now and we’ll keep you informed as we learn more. In other news…”
No mention of Rue and Jenna. They didn’t mention the pilot or co-pilot either. The brothers of course would get the airtime since the whole world has watched them grow up. “I was supposed to be on that plane,” I mumble, staring miles away.
“What did he say?”
“I don’t know.”
“He said he was supposed to be on the plane.”
“No! He was? Oh my God, can you imagine?”
“Shhhh!”
Numb, I walk toward the exit without looking back, drifting in with the people who are coming and going to their flights, their luggage, their friends, their families, their loves.
Tears hover in my eyes. When people spot me, they move out of the way. The sea of nameless bodies parts, creating a passageway for me to trudge through. I have never known this much pain. I have never felt this separate from my body as it simultaneously wracks with agony from its core.
When the electric doors slide open, I walk outside, and the familiar smell of Los Angeles hits me. Home. Our home. I fall, boneless, to my knees on the mat as confused doors slide open and closed behind me. Staring ahead, I unlock my jaw and howl. I crumble with my hands over my face, sobbing. Strangers rush at me, trying to help. But I’m not able to tell the difference between help and attack, so I fight them off, yelling at the top of my lungs a guttural wail I’ve never heard before. A large, soft woman grabs onto me from where she’s fallen to her knees, too, squeezing me hard in a bear hug and cooing in my ear, “Shhh. There now. It’s going to be okay.” She rocks me and says it one more time. “It’s going to be okay, child.”
Bending my head into her neck, I croak, “No. It’s not.”
Chapter Eight
Rue
Banging on the giant front door of the Stone Mansion, I yell, “Mrs. Stone?! Please open the door!”
There’s a pause and then the muffled scream, “No! Go Away!”
My face is caked with dried tears, the skin so tight and dry. “Please, Mrs. Stone! Please!” A fresh wave of salt-water fills my tear ducts and I whimper against the door with my fingertips and forehead resting on it. “I want to help you through this.”
Jenna and I heard the news at the airport when we arrived. Since their plane went down in Florida, by the time we got to Los Angeles the broadcast had been airing for hours. Jenna had to hold me up so I could walk out of the airport. I sat on the dirty floor by a wall as she waited for our baggage, while concerned and helpless eyes flitted to me from everywhere around us. In the cab ride home, I took turns sobbing and staring out the window at the 405, then the 101, then at Camarillo Street where I live. The cabbie asked if I was sick like he didn’t want to catch my disease. He was two seconds away from pulling over and kicking us to the curb when Jenna leaned in and reproached him. “She’s just lost her brothers. Give her a break. Haven’t you ever lost anyone you loved?”
Loved? The word was jarring to me in my haze. Do I love them? I had to ask myself that. Can you love people that quickly? Some would argue no… and I feel sorry for them.
“Just as soon as I’d wished for them gone, they went,” I whispered to Jenna as she hugged me on my doorstep.
“I know. I’m going to stay here with you.”
“No.” I’d said, shaking my head. “It’s okay, Jenna-bean. I want to be alone.”
But as soon as I went in the house, I pictured Connie Stone. All alone now. Just like me. And though I was probably the last person she wanted to see, I wanted to go to her and see if I could help. “Jenna!” I’d shouted out my door. She came running around the corner, not having made it yet to her car. “Can you drive me to the Stone mansion?”
In hindsight, I probably should have had her wait for me.
“Mrs. Stone! Please open the door. I know I don’t have the right…”
The door opens and she stares at me, mascara running down papery cheeks, her silver hair askew. “That’s right! You don’t have the right!” she croaks, furious.
But I can see the pain behind the rage. With my face dripping, I take her into my arms and embrace her. She doesn’t fight me like I thought she would. She goes limp and leans into me, crying, too. I rub her back gently up and down. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Mrs. Stone. I’m so sorry for everything.”
For the first time, I understand what my mother did to her. The tragedy of loss has torn to shreds my ego and defiance. Human being to human being–woman to woman–I understand now how much pain she must have felt. And now she’s lost her boys, too.
“Why can’t they find them? Why haven’t I heard anything?” she weeps into my shoulder, clutching onto me.
“I don’t know. But I want to be here with you while we wait. Is that okay?”
Abruptly, she pulls away from me, her reddened eyes flashing. “No! It’s not okay.” She straightens her jacket, pulling it down hard, the flash of red nails garish against such pale skin. “You’re the reason they’re dead,” she hisses.
Stunned, I squeak, “What?”
“They wouldn’t have been in Ibiza if it wasn’t for you!” I stare at her in horror because in my grief this hadn’t dawned on me yet. “I invited you here to my home! But no! You were all the way across the country spending my husband’s money on booze! And then when Jack told me he’d gone to Ibiza, I told him to forget you. You’re not worth the trouble. You’re just the bastard child of a nanny. Trash!” My head turns slowly left to right as I try to block out the hatred. With her hand and voice shaking, she reaches for the door. “You should never have been born, Rue Calliwell. Now get off my doorstep before I call the police.”
SLAM!
I stare at the door for a very long time, words stolen from my speech. A car racing up the driveway doesn’t pierce the fog at first. I don’t notice it until I hear my name frantically called. The urgency in Alec’s voice reaches into my wounded psyche and pulls me into focus. Car tires screeching to a halt turn me around. He leaps out of a Cadillac and runs up the steps to me, shouting with his eyes wide, “Oh my God! You’re alive!” He mashes me into his body and squeezes me in a desperate embrace. I cocoon myself against the hurt, burrowing into him as he kisses the top of my head.
“I wasn’t on the plane. Oh, Alec. It’s so awful. Why did this happen!” I sob into his neck. He shakes his head, holding me. Pulling back so he can look at me, he’s astounded to see me alive. His skin is blotchy and his hazel eyes are bloodshot, the pain still dancing on their surface.
“I don’t know,” he whispers hoarsely, repeating again, “I don’t know.” He grabs the back of my head and kisses my forehead hard, crushing me to him again and rocking me. We hold each other like this for a long time, finding comfort.
Against his soggy white t-shirt, I ask in a muffled whisper, “Are you here to se
e Mrs. Stone? She’s really upset.” I can feel him nod, his chin tapping the top of my head once.
“Why didn’t you call me?” he groans, his vocal chords shot.
Mine sound the same. “I didn’t have your number. I only knew where they lived because Sean’s assistant left her card with me after the salon day.”
He chuckles at the realization, but it’s not a happy sound at all. “Oh. Right. Of course. God, I can’t believe you’re okay. But why weren’t you on the plane?”
In his arms, I stumble through the story. He listens and I leave out what Mrs. Stone said to me just now. After I’m done, he sighs and releases me. “I have to see how Connie’s doing.”
He finds it locked, but pulls out his keys and fumbles for the right one, opening the door as though he lives here, too. This simple act hurts me for him, a sorrowful reminder of how close they were and how much he’s lost. He motions to me to follow him and we walk into the grand foyer, a huge chandelier glittering in the recessed lighting above us. Alec lays his keys down in a bowl on a marble antique table. I glance to it, and despite its obvious value, I don’ t like it. In fact, looking around, most of this home looks like it should be in a museum, rather than lived in by a family.
I follow him toward a long hallway to the right, but my mind is caught by my imagination. I keep seeing my mother padding around these spotless tiles with a bottle in her hands as she goes to the nursery. I blanch as an image of my father watching her, sneaks into my head. I just don’t want to know about that. I’ve always hated cheating, and here I am, the spawn of it. I’ve never felt so guilty in my whole life. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t choose this.
“Alec, I don’t think I should be here,” I say, reaching forward to grab his hand.
He glances back to me and realizes who I am to her. He pauses, thinking about it before he shrugs and says under his breath, “She needs all the support she can get. Let’s go.”
* * *
“Oh, Alec!” Mrs. Stone drops the white prescription bottle she was holding. Pills spill onto the kitchen counter as she rushes into his arms. “My boys!”
Hugging myself, I stand awkwardly watching them, glancing to the exit and planning my escape. This place is enormous, surely they won’t notice if I just sneak by the kitchen island that’s as big as my car and slip out the door. Glancing nervously back to them, I see out the window a backyard as large as a football field with a dark-bottomed pool its central focal point. Jacuzzi, too, of course, but what affects me is the slide embedded in boulders. An image of the boys playing there as children, gives me pause. I can just see Jack racing to beat Sean and gleefully winning every time. For a split second, a younger me joins them, eagerly calling to Jack, You’re not going to beat me this time! as I race to the top to dive in on my stomach, head first.
My mind is so preoccupied with this fantasy that the wind is knocked out of me as thin arms embrace me, imprisoning my arms at my sides. “Rue! I’m so glad you came back. The moment you left, I felt terrible.” Apparently a couple pills spilled into her mouth. She holds me at arm’s length, her eyes a little drugged. I stare at her, thinking that I didn’t leave so much as have the door slammed in my face with a police call threat. Her lips flatten as she stares at my slackened jaw and wide eyes. “I shouldn’t have said those awful things!”
“You were just being honest,” I admit, quietly.
She releases me and walks away, almost talking to herself. “I was. But I’m just so pissed at Max I could just kill him, if he weren’t already dead. Did you know he killed himself after your mother died? He did it because of her.”
I stare at her. Alec looks at me. “What?” I ask her, unable to understand how she would know that.
She nods, staring out at the backyard with her back to us. “He left me a note. The motherfucker said he never loved me. What a fucking liar. He loved me! It just… faded over time. You’re lucky you never met him,” she spits over her shoulder, locking eyes with me. “He was a real sonofabitch, my husband.” She begins to weep. Alec goes to her and pulls her into his arms, casting a concerned glance my way. I nod to him that I’m okay. She looks very fragile crumbled there against him, so unlike I’ve ever known her to be from all of the interviews and photos.
So my father killed himself after my mother died. And my mom would never see him. I have to admit that I can’t blame her. Right now, he’s not looking like someone I’d want to know, either. And yet, he left me this money. But really–if he truly cared, wouldn’t he have tried harder? What’s throwing money at a problem going to help it when your children are involved?
“I’m going to do something with the money, Mrs. Stone,” I promise her, but she can’t hear me. Alec meets my eyes as he pets her head, smoothing down the frazzled hair. “Let’s get you upstairs, Connie.” His tone is soothing as he adds, “Rue and I will stay here until we hear more news.”
She doesn’t seem to hear him, her body wracking with sobs, but she allows herself to be picked up and her arms go around his neck limply like noodles, her face buried in his shoulder.
“I’ll be right back,” he tells me quietly as they pass.
“Okay.” I watch until they’re gone, glad I didn’t leave.
Chapter Nine
Jack
The plane is shaking so violently that I know this is the end. I look to my brother who finally has a reason to be afraid of turbulence, and an accepting calm overcomes me. Sean’s reaching for the mask and failing to grab it. He looks over at me and I say his name.
I want to say I love him.
That I’m sorry.
That I regret almost everything I’ve ever done. I want to tell him what a good brother he’s been. That more than a brother, he’s been a friend. He’s always been there, always loved me, even when I was being a complete fuckhead, doing things no one should love. His quiet foundation of peace and calm gave me the ability to tornado through my life. There was always a solid thing to grab onto when the wind got too rough. Him.
I want to say these things… but all that comes out is, “Sean.”
The fear leaves him. He reaches over and we grab each other’s hands as pillows fly and the oxygen masks flop. I can’t hear him, but I can see his lips moving, can read the words, “I love you, too.” A sad smile spreads on my lips. Even now, he knows what I needed to say.
We suddenly pitch down and forward. Our hands tear apart as we hit the water with a loud crash. Our heads are nearly yanked off our necks from the collision. I’m expecting fire to come shooting into our bodies, taking our lives.
Terence appears, dipping his head as he rushes to the door, yelling, “C’mon! We have to get out before the door submerges.”
The buckles fall away from us as we leap into action. Wincing in pain, Steve, the co-pilot appears, holding his arm. From the strange angle it’s in, it’s broken. The plane dips forward, the nose tipping down. Terence struggles with the door, swearing at it. I grab the handle and Sean reaches and grabs on, too. We grunt and succeed in pulling it open with our strength, three men fighting for their lives. The emergency raft he deployed bobs outside as water rushes in. It knocks Sean back, and Steve, too. “Jack!” Sean screams as he loses his footing. The water rises quickly around all of us. Terrence unlatches the raft so it doesn’t sink and I yell for him to go. “GET THE RAFT! GO! GO!” He pauses, not wanting to abandon us, but I release my grip from the doorframe and swim-run to get Sean, yelling to Terence, “WE NEED THE RAFT!” He jumps out, the water waist-level now. Sean gains control of himself by holding onto the bar and he and I swim to retrieve our wounded co-pilot who’s crying out from the pain as he tries to paddle with one arm against the rapids. The cabin is filling up with mind-bending speed. We have to go under. “Take a deep breath! We can do this!” I yell. The three of us suck in loudly and dive under the water, swimming toward the freedom of the open door. Sean and I both have one hand on the co-pilots arms, and we’re all kicking as fast as we can. Dipping down to clear the sinkin
g top of the doorframe, we find ourselves shrouded in liquid darkness. The co-pilot uses his good arm to help us as we all struggle for the top, the air in the life-preservers aiding our buoyancy but hindering our ability to really move our arms. I glance behind me to see an outline of the plane; now a shadow vanishing into the ocean’s depths. A fresh surge of pain in my lungs screams at me that I must get air soon. From the constantly shifting peaks and valleys lit by moonlight above us, we’re about to enter the storm.
Gasping and choking in air, I break the surface, just as a wave crashes against my head and pushes me under again. I lose my grip on the co-pilot’s arm and struggle to find him, my hand reaching and touching nothing but thrashing liquid. The water must have taken him. I break the surface again and gasp hard for breath, searching for Sean and our lost comrade. With waves throwing my body to the right, I call out their names, swallowing as much salt-water as I do air. Sean yells my name and I turn around. He waves widely and yells, “He’s gone!”
My hearts pounds in my chest. I have to find him and I have to do it fast. I won’t let him die out here. Just before a wave crashes into my skull, I dive under, swimming toward where I saw Sean. I search the ocean. If Steve was between us, then he’s still between us. That’s my logic as I reach my arms wide and search. Soon my hand finds purchase and I pull him up by his bad arm, but it’s better than dying out here. He’s passed out. A wave must have gotten him, but the life preserver kept him close the surface and I drag him up and scream in his face to wake up. He opens his eyes, coughing and sputtering. Sean is fighting waves to reach us and help. “Kick your legs, buddy! Kick!!” I scream at Steve.
Sean yells, “The raft is over there!” as the crests of smaller waves crash against his face. He shakes his head like a dog to get the hair out of his eyes. I follow where he’s pointing and see Terence off in the distance riding a wave like a fucking surfer, illuminated by a red flare over his head to show us his location. I start screaming, but he can’t see us. We’re too far out, and the darkness around us is unforgiving. “Come on!”
Stand Close 3 (Stand Close New Adult Romance Series) Page 4
