She made her way over gates and down paths until she saw the old oak in the distance, she checked her watch. Five to three. Blowing out a lungful of air through her lips, she stopped when she saw Rían sitting on the giant bark with his back to her. Damn. He came. As if sensing her presence he turned his head and looked at her. Her breath hitched in her throat when their eyes met. He stood and walked towards her. As he stopped a foot in front of her, he opened his arms and like magnets they embraced each other. She laughed as he rocked them both in a tight bear hug that nearly shoved her guts up to her neck.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he murmured into her hair. Smiling, Liadh stood back and looked at him when they broke contact. Good God! He was bronzed and badass looking, he stood so tall and strong. She took in the light blue t-shirt and blue Levi’s, his feet were encased in a pair of navy converse. Thank you God for his good taste in footwear, you can’t beat a man in converse. Liadh almost closed her eyes and drifted off on a breeze, the scent of him overpowered her senses, some kind of clove cologne and soap wafted over to her. Everything within her seemed to gravitate toward him, especially her lower half, she felt as though she was being pulled off her feet as she adjusted her stance and gazed up at him, her eyes connecting with his chest.
She is so tiny! Rían looked down at the top of her head that just about came up to his pecks. His muscles contracted, like some kind of giant ape, he wanted to preen in front of her and shout look at my manliness, yield to me woman. I am man hear me roar. He mentally slapped himself on the back of the head. What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You? He wasn’t sure where the feelings were coming from, but they had better get their shit together and take a goddamn Xanax! The need to touch her was all consuming. He felt like a different person around her, then again, he always had felt like a different person around her, a better person. Being near her was torturous, he wanted to be inside her mind, to know what she was thinking, to touch her skin and put his hands on either side of her face and worship her.
“So. This is awkward.”
Liadh broke the silence as he continued to stare down at her. Throwing back his head he rubbed a hand off the back of his neck and laughed.
“Yeah, I guess it is.”
Liadh nodded at him and smiled. “It’s been so long, I forget how to talk to you.”
“Well sit then, and we’ll get reacquainted.”
Liadh sat on the belly of the log and pulled her legs up wrapping her arms under them.
“Do you still sing?” Rían sat down beside her and turned to look into her eyes. Why does he have to sit so close for heaven’s sake?
Liadh bent her head and nodded smiling.
“Yeah. I do. How the heck did you remember that?” Rían bumped his shoulder off hers affectionately.
“How could I forget, it was nonstop singing and dancing through the fields. I was your entire audience, and your biggest fan of course. You’ll have to give me a demo sometime,” he said, biting the side of his bottom lip.
Don’t bite your lip because now I just want to suck it! Liadh covered her eyes with her hands.
“Stop, stop! I’m mortified I put you through that.”
“Sure, I was only delighted to be your own personal Simon Cowell. You always won too, although the competition was piss poor in fairness, I’m tone deaf.” Liadh groaned and laughed quietly.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” Rían asked her.
“Yeah, I’d love too. I haven’t had a real chance to explore. My friend Bonnie refuses to get off her arse and walk with me. I want to see if it’s changed or if all the old places look the same. I’m mad to see the waterfall too.”
“It’s all the same. Some things never change Liadh. Places, feelings, sometimes things are so set, that they just have to remain the same so they can be recognised by those who love them.” Liadh stood in front of him and he pushed back a curl that obscured his view of her eyes. Liadh felt her breath hitch in her throat. Calm down Liadh, be cool.
“You look so like your mother did when we were little Liadh.”
Except for my scars, go on say it.
Liadh looked at his face, his lips, and was surprised not to see the words on his lips. Usually she could recognise the question before it was spoken. The curiosity about her face, instead she was shocked to see only desire in his eyes, reflected in her own. Damn, this could be a problem.
“My granny tells me you’re a doctor.” Rían moved his face closer to hers and any answer she had prepared went out of her head. All her thoughts were lost in his eyes.
“I…um…yeah.” Nice one Liadh, that’s it blow his mind with your conversational genius.
He nodded as if this spoke volumes to him.
“I’m proud of you Liadh.”
Liadh looked at Rían shyly. “Thank you. It means a lot coming from you.” Rían couldn’t keep the grin from his face and ran his hands through his hair, anything to distract his eyes from finding hers.
“I’ve missed you so much Liadh. I loved you so much. I wish…”
“Rían, I...” Liadh wanted to run away, as far from him as possible. He was making her feel things she didn’t want to feel, making her confront past pain that was deeply hidden inside her.
“Come on, I’ll show you something amazing.” Rían put out his hand and waited for her to place her palm in his just like he had always done. Feeling the jolt of electricity that passed between them he stared down at their hands. They looked like ordinary hands, hers white and slightly freckled, his tanned, huge and strong. Why did they feel so right together? Like two pieces of the same puzzle that had been missing for so long, and then reunited.
Rían wondered if maybe he was having some kind of stroke or an out of body experience. Did I just say I missed her? Did I just say I had loved her, and then acted like nothing had happened? What the hell?
Rían walked slightly ahead of her gripping her hand in his. He closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose. What the hell did I say that for? He wouldn’t blame her if she made an excuse and ran as far from him as possible. What the hell? He ran the conversation around and around in head. I missed you, I loved you. Holy shit had he lost all sense of reason? No. No he hadn’t. No more wasted time, he had spent half the night pacing and thinking. He should have found her years ago. He should have kept her safe while she was going through everything. He should have been the one to save her. Now he had a second chance. Fucking around and taking it slow wasn’t an option. He had two months to make her fall in love with him, because he knew. He knew the minute he had seen her yesterday that he was already half in love with her. A different kind of love from when he was younger, but he knew in his heart that the connection they had made as children was still there.
“Tell me what it’s like working in the Medical centre. Do you like it? Burke is a good friend of mine, and he’s with my cousin Tess. Good guy.”
“Oh I’m mad about Burke, he has been a real sweetheart. It’s all I ever wanted to do. I love my career. I love being a doctor. It gives me a chance to give something back. After the fire, I spent so long in hospital and around doctors that it was a natural step to follow suit.”
Rían looked into her eyes and stopped walking.
“I’m sorry that happened to you Liadh.”
Liadh closed her eyes for a moment. I’m sorry. Two words that she had heard so many times before, doctors, nurses, her mother, the owner of the shit heap flats. I’m sorry. It didn’t really mean anything more than, I feel awkward and don’t know what to say. When people said I’m sorry, they really meant it’s hard to look at your face and thank Christ it’s not me. The last thing Liadh wanted or needed was pity, especially from Rían. She was who she was and her scars were part of her, she could barely remember a time when she didn’t have them. No. No, that was a lie, most nights in her dreams she was scar free, childlike and holding the big warm hand of her best friend Rían. There she was carefree and scar free, innocent and warm.
“I�
�m sorry.” Rían groaned. “I mean, I’m sorry that I said I’m sorry. I know it’s probably trite and insulting, I’m sure you hate hearing it!” Liadh looked up at him in surprise. Rían always did have a way of reading her mind.
“It’s fine Rían, really. I know it’s horrific to look at, I’m just glad you didn’t say, Oh My God what the feck happened to your face?!” Rían creased his brow and shook his head.
“All I thought when I looked at you was how like your mom you look. How beautiful.”
Liadh smiled and nodded. “Of course.”
Liar, you just hide it better than most.
Rían mentally kicked himself. Shut up O’Malley, leave her alone. Liadh was broken. He could see it in her movements, in her manner and her speech patterns. Even though they were only friends for four years, he knew more about Liadh than he did about most people. Because he cared about her, he knew her, the real Liadh.
Something had changed though, he was aware of it the minute he had seen her. The heat between them, the charge of electricity that joined them. The ferocious beating of his heart, the fuzziness of his brain, he couldn’t function properly around her and it made him skittish. He was well used to being the man who controlled each part of his life with precision. That included his relationships, or lack of relationships. Definitely a wham bam and thank you mam, kind of lover.
Ah he made sure that every woman who crossed his threshold was treated like a princess, he respected women and enjoyed their company more than most men he had spent time with, but he had never been in love. He had never felt the need to settle down and make a life with a woman, and he has certainly never felt the need to stake his claim on one. If Annie or Aoife had heard the words stake his claim they would have called him a complete feckin’ eejit, and maybe it was old fashioned but when he decided that a woman was for him then he would go all out to win her heart. Liadh’s heart. Eh? When had Liadh come into it? You can lie to your brain Rían but you can’t lie to your heart. Ah when did Granny O’Malley get into my head? Get out!
Liadh moved in front of him and waved her hand in front of his face.
“Earth calling Rían, come in, Rían.”
Rían laughed and grabbed her palm. He pulled her into a hug and lifted her off the ground.
“Did I tell you how happy I am to see you? It’s been so long. Do you remember it all? When we were kids? I remember everything!”
Liadh laughed and bit her bottom lip, nodding. “How could I forget? It’s good to be back.”
He was so close to her that she could smell the minty scent of toothpaste from his breath. His mouth was wide and his lips generous, his teeth straight and white. The way he moved his huge body in front of her, had Liadh drawing her breath in sharply. Damn him, how did he turn from her little champion to a full-blown sex beast? Ah you know you just made that up right. Sex beast. Gawd, I want him to be a sex beast. Hmmm.
Rían smiled down at her. “Do you remember how you used to find homes for the worms and separate them into families?”
Liadh laughed and rolled her eyes, “God, I’d forgotten. All mams and dads, a granny and granddad and five children, just like the O’Malleys. And then families of three, like myself and mam and Neddy.”
“Ah poor old Neddy, he was a lovely man wasn’t he?”
Liadh nodded. “Neddy was the best.”
“You’re a doctor? It’s so mad, Doctor Liadh Grace O’Neill.”
Liadh grinned at him. “Ah is there any reason why I wouldn’t be a doctor, Rían O’Malley?”
Rían put his hands up and laughed. “No of course not, I just thought you were a bit squeamish that’s all.”
“Yeah when I was seven, Rían, and I don’t get the chance to poke a lot of dead cats these days, so I’m all good.” Rían threw back his head and roared laughing.
“You remember that, wow you have a great memory, good times eh?”
“The best, Rían.”
Rían was standing with his hands on his hips smiling down at her. Liadh felt her heart pound as he moved in closer, closing the gap between them. He was so close that she could see his pupils dilate with desire. Oh my God, I turn him on! What the actual hell!
“I meant what I said Liadh. I missed you.”
Liadh stopped and dropped his hand, putting both hands on her hips she turned to face him.
“Okay, okay I was willing to overlook your earlier outburst, but seriously! What the hell are you talking about?”
Rían’s eyes widened. “Now, that’s a bit more like the old Liadh I knew. Glad to see you still have a temper underneath the calm exterior.” Liadh widened her eyes and she smiled at him throwing her hands in the air.
“Ah shut up O’Malley what do you mean? You missed me? You loved me?”
“I mean I loved you. And you loved me.”
“Whoa whoa, what do you mean? You loved me and I loved you?”
Rían dropped her hand and moved in close to her. Liadh stepped back until her heels hit the nearest tree. Her breath quickened and she felt the pulsing between her legs as his head dropped and he trailed a kiss from her neck to her ear.
“You need to stop that right this minute, Rían O’Malley…hmmm…yeah...you need to…oh.” Wow Liadh! That would have been convincing if you weren’t moaning into him. She breathed heavily and swallowed deeply. Her hands found his shoulders and she felt his leg move in to part her thighs.
“Rían,” she whispered. Damn that feels good.
As Rían moved his leg in between hers, she felt his arms shaking as he moved her arms above her head, and rested them against the tree trunk. He tasted like strawberries and soap, she heard him inhale deeply as his lips nipped lightly at her throat.
“Wait, wait.” She pushed him back and looked at him as his breath came fast and heavy, blowing her hair off her face. She felt the flush of heat and was excited by the desire for her that shone in his eyes. He kept his head close to hers and smiled, never taking his eyes from hers.
“Is this a good idea, Rían? I mean we barely know each other now. I mean, I do know you, but that was so long ago now. I mean….. I don’t even know what I mean.”
Rían looked at her seriously and nodded at her.
“You’re right, of course. We should get to know each other before we do this. I want you Liadh. I’m clear on that. I know how I feel about you.”
Liadh nodded. What was the point of pretending or delaying the inevitable? They knew each other’s hearts. They knew each other’s souls. They had been destined for each other. It was time to take a chance, time to throw caution to the wind. What would Bonnie do?
“I don’t know what to say. I…”
“Say what you feel Liadh. You always used to say what you felt with me.”
Liadh ran her hand down his face and stood on her tippy toes kissing him full on the mouth.
Rían threaded an arm around her neck and pulled her into his embrace. Liadh lost all sense of reason and opened her mouth wider to deepen the kiss. Pulling back she looked into his face and smiled.
“Come on, you promised me a walk.”
Rían looked at her for a few moments and then nodded in agreement.
“That I did.” Leading her down the path to the trees, he asked her about her life in Dublin and they talked in that way that only old friends can.
There’s no need to fear the wind if the haystacks are tied down.
-Irish Proverb
Over the next two weeks Rían and Liadh spent as much time together as was humanly possible. Each moment they shared, brought them back to their childhood, inhibitions disappeared and the flame of desire ignited and started a slow burn. Liadh tried to pretend she wasn’t falling as much in love with Rían as she’d always been. But, deep inside her she knew she was falling so hard and so fast, that nothing could stop her.
“Why do you do that?” Rían asked chewing on the end of a reed and walking purposefully in front of her into the woods. He always walks so purposefully, always going somewhere,
never standing still.
Liadh frowned at his back. “Do what?”
“Why do you hide your face behind all that hair?”
“Because of the scars d’oh! I’m conscious of them sometimes.”
Rían stopped suddenly and she crashed into the back of him. Turning to look at her, his forehead creased and a scowl began forming on his face.
“Is that what you think Liadh, that you’re not beautiful?” Mesmerised by the size of him, the presence of him, all she could do was stare and nod slowly. Rían took her face between his fingers and lightly brushed back her hair from her scars, he held her face in his palm and smiled softly down at her. Running his finger down the side of her jaw line, his heart physically ached for her, the pain she had suffered, and the insecurity she felt from such a visible hurt.
“You are as beautiful today as the day I first met you all those years ago. When I look at you, I see only Liadh, and only Liadh’s heart. What lies within you is a thousand times more precious and beautiful than any woman I have ever seen. Your face and your smile glow with a light that can brighten even the darkest room.” Liadh was intoxicated by his voice, by his words.
She smiled up at him and touched her fingers to his face.
“Look, it doesn’t define me, Rían, I know my worth as a woman and a person. It just pisses me off sometimes. It’s vain and silly. It really doesn’t matter in the scheme of things.”
“It’s not vain or silly Li. You are allowed to feel hard done by. What happened to you...the fire. It was a cruel and horrible thing to happen to you. You can talk to me about anything Liadh, how you’re feeling. If you are sad or happy. I’ll always be here for you.”
Liadh smiled a tight smile. Yeah except when you won’t. Sorry Rían as much as I love you, I’m not taking a chance. Wait a minute, love him? When did that slip into the equation? Oh for heaven sakes. In a platonic way of course. Yeah...keep telling yourself that, someday you might even believe it.
Rían: (The O'Malleys Book 3) Page 8
