Luckily Con and Saul had arranged to meet us at this club, but were running late. They realised right away that we weren’t ourselves and took us straight to the hospital. Saul had recognised one of the guys and he and Con had paid him a little visit the next day. The guy had spewed about how Stacey Peters had asked him to roofie us and then take naked pictures of us in compromising positions. He had said, of course, that he was never going to go that far. Right, sure he wasn’t. Con had apparently lost his shit and Saul had to pull him off the guy. Of course, when the guys questioned Stacey she denied everything, claiming the guy was some ex who wasn’t over her and was trying to cause her problems. The guys believed her, because, a) they were stupid and b) they were stupid.
If it’d been a guy behind it all, they wouldn’t have believed his story that’s for sure. Thankfully she moved away three years ago and I had some relief from wondering what she was going to try next. I didn’t realise she was back, and more to the point dating Con. Did that mean she thought she was going to be in our close knit group? I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, not really sure what I wanted or needed to say.
“Pea, she’s changed. She’s not the same spiteful bitch she used to be,” he promises.
“Yeah, I’m sure. Just like I’m sure she wasn’t really behind all those awful things that kept happening to me and Soph, or she didn’t just want you from the beginning and I was just collateral damage,” I spit.
Con rocks back like I’ve just slapped him across the face. “Pea, I’m sorry. If you feel so strongly, I’ll cancel. I thought after all these years it would be history. I didn’t realise it still affected you so much.” He was trying to appease me yet again, and it wasn’t fair. He’s always the good guy, always the one trying to make things in my life better, and yet I’m the one who has hurt him. It’s time to grow a pair.
“Con, I’m sorry. I have no right to be annoyed with your choice of dates. You go, have fun. Just give me some time, okay? I don’t want this one, as part of our slowly shrinking group anytime soon. Can you understand that?”
Con looks at me like I’ve hurt him again like he’s full of pain. “Yeah Pea, no worries.” He leans over and kisses my forehead before turning on his heel and walking toward the front door. As he gets there he turns around and looks at me, his face serious. “Pea, if you need me, I’m here. For anything. Anytime. Always.”
Before I get a chance to respond, he’s out the door and I’m standing looking at it, thinking about how much history has a way of biting you in the arse.
The clock keeps ticking. It’s almost so loud that I want to throw something at it just to watch it shatter and feel some relief. I mean I need to do something to ease this pressure building in my head. I sigh and look at the clock again. It’s 10.30 p.m. on Friday night and I’m sitting at home in my PJ’s ready to do my knitting. Okay, metaphorically, seeing as I’d be more likely to stab someone with the knitting needles rather than actually make something useful!
The phone comes to life with the sounds of ‘Happy’ by Pharrell Williams. I give it the stink-eye, wondering whatever possessed me to change my ringtone to such a cheerful song. It carries on bleating – it’s obviously mocking me. It takes all my strength to pick it up and answer, instead of throwing it against the wall. I eye the clock again thinking how it suddenly has a reprieve because the phone is now number one on my current hit list.
“Hello,” I answer realising I hadn’t looked to see who was calling.
“Hey chicka. Please don’t tell me you’re at home on a Friday night?”
Hmm Soph. Not that it was likely to be anyone else. I only have, one... two... errr, yeah two friends.
I groan. “Hey Soph. I didn’t feel like it tonight that’s all. We can catch up tomorrow if you want?” I was hopeful. I don’t know why I felt hopeful. I mean Soph is like a dog with a bone. A great big Rottweiler with a humongous bone, having been starved for five days, and who doesn’t like people.
“I bet you’ve been sitting on your lounge looking at your clock, wondering if it’s late enough to go to bed.” At her words I start looking around my lounge, paying special attention to my fireplace. Did she have cameras in my house?
“Pea, seriously. I’m coming round in thirty minutes. Be ready to party!” And with that I hear a click and the line’s dead. I look at my phone, flexing my fingers around it, trying really hard not to chuck it at the wall because let’s face it I’d just to have to buy another one. Phones these days are expensive!
I sigh and realise I better get ready. Soph’s a pain in the arse, but she’s my pain in the arse, and for better or worse she’s like a sister and always has my back. The reason I don’t want to go to the party is the same reason that I’ve been irritated since Tuesday – Con dating Stacey.
I can’t quite wrap my head around the whole situation. I don’t understand why my life has moved into the Twilight Zone! I’m angry with him for choosing her. He’s been with many a woman, bimbo’s usually. I think he likes that they have no depth, it means he knows from the get-go, he’s never going to get emotionally invested. Other than the obvious, that is Stacey behaving like a bitch for too many years to recall, I can’t work out what my problem is. Maybe it’s because she isn’t a bimbo? Sure she looks like one, and I know she acts like one sometimes, but she’s known him for years and although she doesn’t know him like Soph and I do, she knows him well enough to make him feel something for her.
I shake my head and give myself a good talking too, literally. “Stop being a baby. Con can choose whoever he wants. No matter what, he’ll never let go of his friendship with you and Soph. Now get your glad rags on and go face them both at the party.”
It doesn’t help.
Not even a little.
I turn and walk into my bedroom to put my face on, literally and metaphorically. “Spanx, it’s me and you against the world tonight!”
An hour later and we’re pulling up at the club that’s been hired out for someone’s birthday. Tom? Rich? Jasper? I don’t know, I only got an invite as an extension of either Con or Soph. It’s always the same. They’re always the ones that get asked. I guess it’s kind of hard to ask someone that shuts herself off to everyone.
Normally I wouldn’t even go. No amount of pouting, moaning, stomping of feet… yes, Soph has been known to do that on occasion, would normally get me out of the house. But tonight, I feel I owe it to Soph. Not only has she been putting up with my usual brand of shit for years, but the last few weeks I’ve been worse and I don’t know how to fix it.
Of course, I was also trying to go a little way to apologising for not attending her birthday dinner a few weeks ago. I didn’t want to be in a social setting with so few people, that it would’ve been noticed if I’d stayed quiet all night. It’s not that I’m uncomfortable around people or chatting to them, I just have to be in the right mood, and usually I’m not. Trying to make small talk with people that don’t touch my world seems pointless to me.
But tonight, for Soph, I will make the effort. I haven’t dressed up as much as Soph had wanted. My Spanx have stayed in my bedroom ready to fight another day. She’s a sparkles or slutty type of woman, depending on what the situation calls for. I’m more your comfy, well-worn jeans type of chick. Tonight I’ve gone for a mixture of my style while trying to appease Soph. I’m wearing a backless black top with delicate silver sequins making a criss-cross pattern on the front. Black skinny jeans and black ankle boots with spiked heels, which I can barely walk in because the heel is a little high for me. Even with the heel though, they are surprisingly comfortable. I’ve added a splash of colour with a red clutch bag and a big red fashion ring. Pulling my hair up in a few loose curls, I’ve also slapped on more makeup than I usually would.
I follow Soph into the dark club, listening to the music and chatter and realising there is probably only one person I really know here, other than Soph.
“Come on. I want to check out the cute guys before they’re all taken for the
night,” Soph says while craning her neck to spot her prey.
“Well, I was hoping we could just get a drink and have a dance, Soph. You know, catch up?”
“Yeah, Pea, that’s a great idea, but a club isn’t the place to do it. I mean it’s hardly the right setting to have a nag! Tell you what, wherever I end up tonight, I’ll make sure to do the walk of shame to your house in the morning, and we can have our nag over a coffee, whilst I lay my head on your kitchen table with my sunglasses on. How does that sound?” With a wink, she walks away until she’s swallowed up in the crowd and I can’t spot her anymore.
Right, first stop the bar! I squeeze my way through the crowd and try to signal the bartender over the top of a couple who appear to be trying to eat each other’s faces off. When he finally spots me and takes my order, I see a free stool. Feeling parched I sit down relieved that I’ll finally get something wet down my throat.
“Hey,” I hear from my right. I assume it’s not meant for me so I say nothing and look down at my drink that’s just arrived.
“Can I sit here?” I look to my right and realise the face-eating couple have now left and instead there’s an unfamiliar man looking at me. He’s cute. He has a dark brown, almost black hair in a buzz cut. He’s nicely tanned, probably about six foot with what looks like a nice body. I put on a fake smile and nod my head once so he knows it’s not taken.
He holds out his hand for me to shake. “I’m Dane Matthews.”
I look from his hand to his face a few times before holding my hand out to meet his. “I’m Pea,” I reply.
His eyes widen. “Pea? As in the vegetable?”
I scrunch up my nose. “Well, actually it’s Pearson, but everyone calls me Pea.”
“Okay, so if your name is being shortened, why not to Peer?”
“Well, my name sounds like it’s Peer-son. It’s actually spelt P-E-A-R-S-O-N, so – Pea.” I realise I’ve crossed my arms over my chest in a defensive stance.
He holds his hands up. “Sorry. Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be a smartass,” he chuckles.
I look at his face, it’s so open and genuine that I realise he wasn’t trying to be smart.
“Sorry, I’m not good with people,” I mutter.
“Well, you seem just fine to me,” he smirks.
I turn back around to my drink and my stomach dips. It’s been so long since I’ve been anywhere that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to flirt. It feels nice to have someone’s attention even if we’ve barely spoken five sentences between us.
“So Pea, what brings you here tonight? I don’t think I’ve seen you before,” he questions.
“Aren’t you getting your chat-up lines mixed up? I thought it was supposed to be… I’m sure I’ve seen you somewhere before?” I raise one eyebrow at him.
He smiles. “I don’t like clichés. I try to be different,” he counters.
I tap my finger to my lips. “Is that so? Hmmm… let me think. Okay Mister ‘I like to be different,’ what chat-up lines do you use? And don’t pretend like you don’t! All men use chat-up lines, even if it’s just saying they don’t use chat-up lines.”
“No, you’re right. All guys have a ‘go to’ technique. But why should I tell you mine? If I do you won’t find me irresistible and fall in love with me.” He grins wide.
I snort… yes, actually snort. “Try me.” I’m teasing him now. I find I’m actually interested in what he’s going to do next.
“Okay, well, when I meet a beautiful woman like yourself, I ask her if she likes cats.”
I stare at him, trying to go over in my head his last sentence. “Okay, I’m trying to work out what you mean? I’m pretty sure I didn’t mishear you. So, what? I mean… what?”
“Let’s try it,” he smirks. “So Pea, do you like cats?”
Okay, I’m game. I actually want to see where this line of conversation is going.
“They’re okay, I guess.”
“Do you have any?”
“No.”
“Do you intend to?”
“I hadn’t thought about it, but probably not.”
“Well then, you need to go out with me,” he smirks again.
“What? Seriously? What has one thing got to do with the other?”
“You see after meeting me, if you turn me down you’d always be thinking of me as the one who got away. You’d never end up falling in love and settling down. You’d buy lots of cats and forevermore be known as ‘Pea the crazy cat lady, who stores her cats in her kitchen freezer when they die.’”
I can’t help it, I actually burst out laughing. Like a full on belly laugh. I can’t remember the last time that happened. I’m trying to breathe while clutching at my ribs doubled over. As I compose myself, I realise that even in this packed, noisy club, people are staring at me.
I scan the crowd and spot Con, just looking at me. Trying to read me. My eyes snap back into focus as Stacey sidles up to him, hanging off him, just like she used to do with Saul.
Saul.
The four of us as we were.
I feel like I’ve been winded. It’s like stepping back in time. I close my eyes and concentrate on my heartbeat as my mind drifts. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Five days, just five short days until my twentieth birthday. Another milestone. It would also be four years since Con and I had gotten together. Four years! It felt like we’d been together forever. It made me question my life choices that was for sure. I’d been planning on travelling the world for six months on my twentieth birthday, which I had been talking about doing it since I was a kid. I’d rambled so often about it that for my nineteenth birthday my grandma handed me a wallet with tickets, an itinerary, money and travel vouchers. She’d booked places and flights for six-months-worth of travel from the day following my twentieth birthday. Then to top that off she also gave me spending money. I was ecstatic, overwhelmed and convinced I couldn’t possibly go. Why would I want to leave Con for six months? I was in love. Still am. I’m still undecided.
I looked around the club at people grinding and sucking face. I closed my eyes and listened to the music. I had five days to decide for certain. Five days to choose the adventure of a lifetime or the love of my life. I’d felt so much pressure. More than a nearly twenty-year-old in a club on a Saturday night with her best friends, one of whom was her boyfriend, should feel.
I looked down at my red dress and wondered why I let Soph dress me. It felt like a second skin it was that tight, and I felt naked. I wandered back to our little booth. Soph and Saul were laughing and Con was smiling at something they’d been talking about.
“Ugh! Why is there always such a huge queue in the ladies? And why did you leave me in there, Soph?!” I frowned at her.
“Sorry Chicka. I couldn’t see you in there and I was in the way so I came outside to wait for you, but then a hot guy was giving me the come hither look, so I went hither.” She winks, but the guys both burst out laughing.
“Yeah, the only problem was he wasn’t giving you the come hither look, he was trying to hold his puke in and when Soph wandered over to him, well, he let it go,” Saul says barely containing his previous laughter. “I’m surprised she came out unscathed,” added Con.
“Yeah, it was like something out of ‘The Exorcist,’” Saul replies. “I expected his head to spin round,” he spluttered, “or Soph’s! You looked like you wanted to rip his head off.” Both Saul and Con laughed looking at Soph again.
“You two are such children sometimes, and just because he puked doesn’t mean he wasn’t giving me a come hither look!” she snapped.
“Con, am I giving a come hither look now?” Saul asks and looked at Con while pretending he was trying not to puke. Con laughed.
“No, seriously, I need to know. I don’t want the ladies trying to jump me when I’m puking my Jack back up!” The guys were crying with laughter and Soph was standing there with her hand on her hip and her lips pursed. It was that moment, that seemingly very ordinary moment, to anyone watching
from the outside that had made my mind up. How could I possibly leave these people, they were my family. My life. My peace.
Four days later my peaceful world shattered for the first time.
It was the day before my birthday. Everything seemed normal in my world, not like I was going to have something happen that was going to change my path.
I woke to the neighbour’s dog barking. With one eye open I looked at the time, 7.30 a.m. I threw my arm over my eyes. “Gah! Stupid dog. Every… damn… morning!” I rolled out of bed and trudged to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and recalled the night before.
It was a leaving party, I think, for someone in Saul’s building – honestly I can’t remember. I’d been feeling off all day and decided to leave early. Of course, Con wanted to come with me, but I’d told him to stay and enjoy the party.
Now as I looked in the mirror I wondered why I didn’t ask him to come back to mine and look after me? Oh yeah, that’s right, Gran would’ve had a fit! She still thought I was a virgin, or maybe that was just what she wanted to believe.
The other three were lucky, they either lived in their own places even if they were like shoeboxes or had a level of privacy. They all had a purpose, and career paths chosen. I’d never felt the need to plan my life out, to know what my next step was or where I wanted to be in five years.
Saul’s a photographer, Soph a model and Con was working at being sports editor. He worked for the local paper part-time and studied journalism at Uni. I worked at the supermarket. Sometimes I felt like I made our group slightly off balance. Not that they’d ever mention anything, but going out and spending money was always harder for me. Con always offered to pay, and honestly, sometimes I’d let him. Mostly I didn’t, which meant by default they missed out on adventures because they didn’t want to leave me behind. Even if I did have an amazing and lucrative career though, I think I would’ve still lived with my Gran. She was the best person I knew. I’d lived with her since I was six.
Love Reflection (Entwined Hearts Series Book 1) Page 2
