by Bry Ann
“Technically, no. Personally, yes.”
“I see. This have to do with Ms. Briar-Rose?”
“Leave Sage the hell out of this business!” He roars, shoving his finger into my chest. “That girl is probably at home, eating celery sticks, reading whatever new smut novel came out. Far away from all this. She’s never even met the girls — Lacey, Rose, Maria — and for good reason. Leave. Her. Out.”
“Look, I have nothing against Ms. Briar-Rose, Nixon. If anything, my heart goes out to her, and I’d do anything to help her. That’s why I’m telling you. This case is out of your hands.”
Fuck, it’s out of mine.
Nix just smirks. “Sure it is, agent. Now where’s Lacey? I’m scared that kid’s gonna do something irreversible.”
That knocks me back.
“I — well, she’s…”
Nix takes me in.
“Oh shit, agent. You feel bad about this. You really liked Lacey. That part wasn’t an act.”
I glare at him. “Who wouldn’t? I’m only human. Good luck, Nixon, and…” I sigh before turning away. “Take care of her.”
“I will.”
I didn’t miss his emphasis on ‘I’. Yeah, yeah… thanks, man. Nix voiced my biggest fear. Lacey has struggled with severe self-harm issues in the past, and it’s not a secret she’s been suicidal. Adam has been a major part of keeping her grounded and strong. If she hurts herself because of me, I don’t know how I’ll get over it. But I also don’t know what I could have done differently. I saw firsthand that he was willing to hurt Iris. How many other women would have followed her?
Yes, he disliked it. Yes, he struggled with it. But he was still willing to do it. And that’s all I need to know to make some kind of peace with my decision.
A loud female laugh echoes in the room, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah, sorry, sir. I was lost. It’s real big here.”
Iris? Shit. She asked for a moment alone in the interrogation room to gather her thoughts after we talked. When I walked out, obliging her, that’s when I ran into Nix. I keep freaking leaving her, and she needs my help right now. She’s endured a hell of a trauma as well. Damn it, why am I screwing up so bad?
I look over and see Landon in front of her, beaming down at her. Oh shit. Of course the biggest ladies’ man in our unit is with Iris right now. Again. I roll my eyes and head over.
“Well, babe, let me help you out. Where are you headed?”“Oh, well, I-I… um…”
She bites down on her lower lip, and let me tell you, Landon does not miss it.
“I got her.”
Iris immediately perks up. Landon looks over at me and smirks.“Oh, I see how it is. Fine, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around, darlin’.”
“Thanks, for helpin’ me, sir.”
Landon groans and rolls his neck to look at me. You lucky SOB.
“Iris, come here, hun.”
She immediately walks over. I really try not to be an asshole and smirk, because that is demeaning to Iris. But for reasons unrelated to her, it’s good to see Landon get knocked down one.
“You okay? I saw you talkin’ to that guy.”
She’s literally so sweet. My hands clench by my sides. She has this dang strand of hair that keeps popping forward, tempting me to slide it back. But that is a dangerous road…
“I’m pretty sure I’m capable of handling him.”
“Oh gosh, if I offended you or anythin’… I jus’, well, I’m not, I’m not good at this stuff.”
“What? Talking to people?” I tease.
I smile so she’s knows I’m kidding. It’s not a joke I would make again. I can tell she’s trying to find it funny, but is embarrassed.
“Uh, kinda,” she mumbles, fiddling with her sleeves. “It’s kind of always been just me, Carson, King, Jay, Hunter, Blythe, Mama, and Pap.”
“Sounds like quite the crew.”
“They’re great. I can’t wait for you to meet them.”
That hits me like a bomb. “Iris, that may be a little…”
Insane.
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I just figured you need to get away, and I need a friend. It’s a win-win.”
“Just how small is your town, Texas?”
“Uh, well, real small.”
I smile. “I figured.”
Her eyebrows furrow. “Why?”
“You’re just… um…”
How do I say this without hurting her?
“It’s okay. What?”
“You’re a little naïve, hun.”
“Huh. No one’s ever said that to me before.”
My mouth curves up in a small smile. “I’m sure your family is a lot like you, Texas.”
“No, not King,” she says immediately. “King’s… intense. He’s not always home. Carson always…” Tears fill her eyes again. She shakes her head and looks away.
“I c-can’t. Sorry.”
“It’s alright. Where are you staying?”
“I got a h-hotel room.”
“Alright. I’m gonna get you a ride back to your room. Can I have your phone?”
“Why?” She whispers.
“To give you my number, of course. In case you need me.”
“Really? Sure! It’s with my stuff.”
She looks down at herself.
“I left it there when I changed. I was all dirty, but I sure miss my clothes. My legs are cold.”
I burst out laughing. “Okay, well let’s get you somewhere warm, Ms. Shelby.”
I lead her to where her stuff is. As I’m programming my number into her phone, Collin walks over.
Of freaking course.
“Derek, a second?”
I nod, finish putting my number in Iris’s phone, and turn to her.
“Alright, Jess at the front will get you to your room safely. I promise. You trust her like you trust me, okay?”Iris nods, but I can tell she’s nervous.
“Jess will keep you safe. You have my word. Text me your number. I won’t forget about you. I’ll check on you.”
“Promise?”
“Swear.”
“Okay.” She goes up on her tiptoes and leans over to see Collin, lifting a hand to wave at him. “Thank you for all your help, sir.”
“You’re very welcome, Ms. Shelby.”
She smiles and starts to run off. Before she does, she turns back over her shoulder to face me and starts wiggling her legs around.
“Brrrr…”
Then she’s gone, leaving me laughing my ass off in her wake.
“Ah-hem,” Collin clears his throat behind me.
I spin on my heel, expecting Collin to be smirking. Prepared for the teasing, I’m shocked when I find Collin’s eyes narrowed, solemn.
“I’m worried about her.”
“Wait, what? Why?”
“What person gets kidnapped, gets their fingers snapped, and sees their brother’s killer get arrested all in virtually 24 hours or so, and is completely fine after?” “Shit.” I run my hand over my face.
“Yeah, a person headed for a breakdown.”
I should have thought of this. What is wrong with me? This case has me all fucked up. “I can see the self-deprecation in your eyes, man. Not your fault. You are too close to the situation to see straight. Regarding Iris, you need to stay away from her unless you plan on staying in her life, man. She’s funny, cute, and obviously a very pretty woman, but she’s grown attached to you. Help her get back home, then cut ties.”
Shit. I sorta kinda told her I’d visit her fucking hometown already.
“Unless, of course, you don’t want to cut ties,” Collin smirks. “But if that is the case, tread carefully and wait until this case is closed. Do you understand?”“Yeah man, I do.”
“Good. On to the next order of business. I want you to take time off. I’m not asking either. I’m telling you. Take time off, man. Go do whatever it is you do in your free time. Rediscover all that. Get grounded and co
nnected to the real world again. Remember why you do this. Carson, Kyle, Landon, and I will handle this case from here on out.”
I know I need this, but…
“But what about Lacey? Rose? The case? Man, I still need to know what happened to Iris’s brother. The real story. I owe her that. Then, shit, there’s Nix.”
My fingers find their way into my hair and I tug as hard as I can, feeling the stress mount inside of me.
“Woah, slow down.”
He cocks his head to the side, signaling for me to follow. And I do. Because I’m gonna explode inside.
“Alright,” Collin says once he’s got a notepad in front of him, “start at the beginning.”
So I do. I lay out my fears for Lacey. My guilt about tearing Rose and her fiancé apart. Adam and Lacey’s daughter. My conversation with Nix and my fears there. And lastly, about Carson Shelby. Something’s fishy with that whole situation. I worked with Adam Ruston for months, closely. I can’t see one reason why Adam would kill him. I owe it to Iris to find out why. As a thank you for having my back and trusting me.
When I finish, Carson lets out a deep breath.
“Okay. Here’s what I’m gonna do. Lacey and her daughter, Rose Ruston, will be my personal responsibility. I will see to it that she is well taken care of and safe, as promised. As for Nix, leave him until he does something. I agree that Sage needs him, and frankly, he’s not a problem. Sure, he does less than legal shit, but nothing of magnitude. Not something I’m concerning myself with right now. Lastly, Carson Shelby. I’ll put Kyle and Landon on it. We’ll figure out what happened. You have my word on that as well. Now, I need your word. Derek, I’ve known you my whole life. This case has you all twisted up. We made a promise to each other that we wouldn’t let this job destroy us. This is me keeping that promise. Don’t set foot in this unit until your head is clear.”
I’m not sure that’s ever going to happen.
“How will I know when the time is right?” “When you can think of Lacey without hating yourself.”
“That’s never going to happen,” I respond immediately.
“You’re never going to feel right about it, but you’ll learn to make peace with it. You have to.”
He’s right, but I can’t stop hearing one of my favorite people tell me they hate me. She hates me so much that I could feel it radiating off of her.
My skin prickles.
“If you say so.” “I do. Now go. I don’t want to see you here again for a while.” I stand, knowing this is him being a good boss and an even better friend. Once I get to the door, I turn over my shoulder.
“Wait, how do I even begin to let this all go?”
Collin smiles, lightly. “Trust me to handle this like you’d want it done. Then from there, go live, my friend. Help your little country girl and go hiking. Go see some places, eat some good food, and get ready to come back and enjoy the crew again. Now get out of here.”
“Thank you.”
He gives me a firm nod, already going back to his computer to get on this. He’s going to be a busy man. I want to feel guilty, but I gave him my word I’d try to get my mind straight. The faster I do, the faster I can help him.
So I trust him.
I’ll let him take this. For now.
But first, I have to handle one small thing myself. The one secret I kept from Collin. Not really on purpose, but nonetheless. This is my promise to keep. One of the few I’m able to. So I’m damn well gonna keep it. For Lacey. Even though this has nothing to do with her. I don’t want every promise I made to the people who live with within those walls to be a farce. I can keep this, so I will.
First. Check on Iris.
Second. Keep my promise and go talk to Frances’s girl, Marley.
I have a graveyard to visit.
Rose
“Why was Sven so calm?” I sob into Maria’s hair, back at the mansion. We all need to be together and this is where Lacey went with Cut. So we followed. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“I don’t know, babe. I don’t know. Maybe he has a plan. He did seem awfully smug.”
“But… but…” I squeeze my eyes closed as tight as I can. I have to try and be strong. “But they’re FBI,” I whisper, “and he’s…”
Before I can break into loud sobs again, I hear rustling from behind me.
“Hey, sis.”
I fly out of Maria’s arms and into my brother’s.
“Nix! Oh my God, you’re here.”
I see Maria nod to Nix over my head. He winks back at her and lets his arm wrap around my upper back.
“Let’s sit, sis. Alright? I got you. I’m here.”
“Alright, how’s Sage?” I ask on a choked sob.
Nix laughs softly. “Good, but let’s worry about you guys right now. Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Now, can you tell me where Lacey is?”
“With… with Cut. She’s with Cut.”
“Okay. Now this part is going to be hard, but sis, Lacey needs us. I hate to be insensitive to you. I know you love Sven. I know he makes you better, but trust me, you’ll see him again. I swear. But Lacey, she’s at risk. She has PTSD, whether or not people want to discuss it. She has a history of self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Rose, we have to team up and be there for her. She’s been there for us more times than I can count.”
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. He’s right. He’s so right. I’ve been thinking selfishly. The snot on my face starts to dry as the tears I’ve shed settle onto my cheeks.
“I’m not trying to be a jerk. I can’t even begin to imagine if Sage was taken away from me.”
His voice chokes on those words.
“But your girl needs you.”
“But I’m always here for you,” Maria makes her voice known in the back. “My guy has Lacey, and when he’s with her, you come to me and you cry or scream or do whatever you need to, babe.”“Thanks, Maria.”
I offer her a tiny smile. The best one I can.
“And I’m here too, but, you know, Maria’s probably better at the tears.”
My hand reaches out and I swat him. “Jerk brother.”
He grins. “Oh, but this jerk brother is gonna get your guy out. So chose your words carefully.”“What?”
Thump. Thump. My heart increases speed. Beats harder and faster at the mere thought of being in Sven’s arms again. He’s dark and immature and ridiculous, but he’s mine. He makes me feel alive and loved. I don’t give a shit what he did in the past or how we got our start at this point. I just want him to be mine again.“You have a plan? What can I do to help? I’ll do anything. I can be very useful. I’m smart and can be manipulative if need be and—”
“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down, sis. You worry about taking care of yourself, staying healthy, and helping your friend. Honestly just doing that will help me so much.”
“Done. Consider it done. Anything if it means getting Sven out.”
“Rose,” Nix sighs, “I can’t promise it will be fast, or easy, all I can promise is that eventually I will get them out.”
Eventually? Some of the heaviness slips back into my heart. “Right. I know.”
Nix lifts my chin with his finger. “It’ll be okay.”
I suck in a deep breath, but it comes out sounding more like another shocked sob. “I don’t know how to be the Rose everyone likes without him.”
“Don’t worry about who everyone likes. Be the best you can be. That’s all you can offer people right now. Your husband’s in prison, people will get it.”
My heart jolts hearing the words spoken aloud. Prison. Prison! How the hell will Sven handle prison? I mean he’s endured so much already. Will this send him back? Will he become cold again? “Rose.”
Nix’s voice is suddenly serious and I hear him stand along with Maria. Following their lead, I stand and spin on my heel. Everything freezes when I do. Lacey is standing there, holding one single boxing glove in her left hand. She’s wearing so many
clothes that I can’t see her body under all the fabric. She’s beet red and sweaty, like she’s just ran a marathon two times over. Her eyes are downcast and hold so much sadness it chokes me.
“Lacey?”
Cut shakes his head from above her, fists clenching at his sides.
“Lacey!” I run over and hold my friend. The second I do, she nearly collapses into me, voice absolutely shattering as she breaks down crying. I’m talking deep, heart-wrenching sobs. If you know Lacey, you know she never cries. Tries never to break in front of people. It’s so unexpected, I nearly collapse to the ground. Nearly let my heart shatter irrevocably. The only thing holding me up is Maria, who ran over to stroke Lacey’s hair back. I hear Cut cough behind us, like he’s burying emotion.
“How do I tell my daughter her dad’s gone when she gets back from Radar’s parents’ house? Oh God!”
Lacey chokes and starts to hyperventilate.
“Hey, hey,” Nix runs over and moves all of us out of the way to hold Lacey’s shoulders. “Look at me,” he demands.
With those words, I look at him. Really look at him. How did I not notice before? He’s so different. My brother usually carries a lanky kind of muscle. Muscle born and bred simply from life experience, not time in the gym. Now, however, his muscles are thicker, more defined. I can see them outlining his shirt. There’s a bulge in his shirt that looks like a gun. Why does Nix look battle ready? My eyebrows crease as I look up at the brother I don’t really know. What are you planning, Nix?
“I can’t,” Lacey whispers. My eyes flicker back to her.
“I need you to, kid. Come on. Up.”
Slowly, very slowly, my friend lifts her eyes. My breath hitches. Her forehead is swollen and bruised, her eyes are red-rimmed and swollen. All the pain in the world lies in those grey eyes. She lost her protector, her husband, her one love. It’s so much worse for her because she’s had unspeakable things done to her, and although her husband was a part of it, he saved her too. Gave her love. Gave her something to live for. Now he’s gone. Silent tears stream down my cheeks, but this time not for me, for her.
“I couldn’t stop her,” Cut whispers from behind her. The big guy looks so upset it’s practically seeping from his pores, even if his way of expressing it is different. He’s more than a boxing coach to Lacey, he’s friend and a mentor.
