by Bry Ann
“I just… well, it’ll start showing soon, so I wanted everyone to know that I’m pregnant before that happens. Thank you, bye.”With that, Lacey scatters from the room like a scared kitten. Everyone in the room has their jaws either dropped or pinned tight with sympathy for the poor girl, clearly struggling. I stand immediately. I’m done with this. Differences aside, Adam and I want the same thing.For Lacey to be happy.
I charge right over to him.
“We need to talk. Now.”
“I thought we agreed I have nothing to say to you,” he hisses. There’s a weakness behind his tone though. A weakness that just scampered out of the room. Lacey’s his strength when she’s strong, but when she’s hurting, so is Adam.
“I just want the best for Lacey. So do you. Hear what I have to say.”
He glares at me, but nods.
“First, where’s Nix?”
His eyebrows furrow, but he answers. “No idea. Lacey invited him. He didn’t show.” “Hm… something’s going on with him.”
Adam says nothing, confirming my theory.
“Well, back to Lacey. You need to go after her. She didn’t fall in love with you because you sat back while she was in pain. You need to go wherever she is, and force her to feel, with you there to hold her together. Then find something she loves that’s simple and have her indulge in it. You need to quit giving her reasons to doubt her feelings for you! She wants to love you, you idiot. She can forgive you for hurting her, but she’s made it more than clear she won’t forgive you if you keep hurting others.” “I fucking know all this, Enzio! Derek,” he corrects with a glare.
“Then go! What are you doing? When she told me you weren’t coming after her, I wanted to punch you. You’re just letting your pregnant wife go?”
“I’m not letting her go! I’m giving her space. You’re a lot more bold with the women backing you,” he seethes.
“No, I’m a lot more bold now that I don’t ‘work for you’. And space isn’t working. Lacey doesn’t need space. She’s had plenty of fucking space! She needs you to love her and show her you’re sorry!”
I see the muscles in his jaw tick. He hates this. He hates that I’m right. He hates that he can’t hurt me for crossing him. But mostly he hates himself, because he didn’t catch me and it’s his job to do so. He hates that it’s his fault Lacey is hurting. Again.
“Are you done?”
“I’m done. Just please, get to her before she hurts herself.”
Adam looks to the floor, confirming my worst fear. She already has.
“Make this right, Adam!” I jab a finger into his chest and turn around. I’m about ready to leave this shitshow. Iris got her moment. I already have Lacey’s number to keep in touch. I spin on my heel to get back to Iris, when I realize I’m trapped over here. All that is left in this room is me. Adam left through a private door, and the only open doorway to the dining room, where the rest of the gang headed, is blocked slightly by Cut and Maria.
Speaking privately.
Shit.
I slink back into the shadows. They are not directly in the doorway, so they must have thought Adam and I were still fighting. Or didn’t realize we were here. I don’t know. Whatever it is, I can’t leave without them seeing me and being awkwardly thrust in the middle of their discussion.
“So, I’m thinking now is not a good time to tell everyone,” Maria laughs, staring at her left hand. “I’m thinking we should wait.”
I’m shocked to see the large man riddled with scars look down at her softly. She doesn’t notice, because she’s too busy staring at her left hand. I squint to see what she’s looking at, when something shimmers in the light.
A ring.
They’re engaged.
I’m so happy for them, but I also want to be out of here before that news breaks. The girls are gonna go nuts.
“Yeah, I’m thinking we should wait.”
Cut wraps Maria in his arms. She sighs and curls into him like a kitten. He rubs her hair back and leans into her ear.
“You’re so loyal to your friends.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
He nods.
I’m literally stuck until Cut lets Maria go and they both head back into the living room with the knowledge that they are waiting to tell everyone about their engagement. Before they leave, Maria reluctantly tucked her engagement ring back into Cut’s pocket for safe keeping.
Once they are finally gone, I slink back out of that room. I find Iris waiting in the doorway of the dining room, fidgeting.
“You’re back?” She smiles.
I slide my hands around her waist. “You ready to get out of here?”
“More than, no name.”
My eyes twinkle at the hint of our past.
Goodbyes are hard, but not nearly as hard as I thought they’d be. Especially since Lacey and I committed to staying in touch and she is the only person in this screwed up household I’ll miss.
I have Iris, and because of her, I don’t crave this f-ed up chaos, because I don’t have to be all good, all the time with her. That little tainted piece of my soul is allowed to come out to play once in a while.
Without judgement.
“Are you okay?” I ask Iris as I throw my t-shirt on. Iris is already in her pajamas. To get the picture straight, her pajamas involve a t-shirt that says ‘Support Farms’ with a picture of a cow on it and long plaid pants.
So yeah.
Every night she makes me smile with her new silly t-shirt and total lack of care regarding how she looks. Her makeup comes off straight away. Her hair comes down in a tangled mess. She’s beautiful because she’s just her, exactly how she is. No pretenses.
“It’s been a lot to handle, but it went well, I think. I think I made a difference,” she yawns and lies back on the pillow; dark circles are etched under her tired eyes, “in their dealings going forward. Maybe.”
I stroll over to the bed and lean over her, kissing her forehead.
“You did, hun. Definitely.”
She smiles. “And you love me.” Her eyes light up.
“So much.”
It’s Iris who grabs my neck and pulls me down, planting her lips on mine. When I land on the bed, she pushes me all the way down and straddles my groin, sending awareness through my body.
“I… I’m not great at this,” she whispers. “I’m… I’m really not.”
“Hey,” my fingers gingerly trace her cheek, “don’t do that. You’ve fought so many false beliefs he instilled in you. Don’t go back now.”
“This is a big one,” she whispers, dropping her gaze.
I sigh. What he did to her is inexcusable.
“We don’t have to do this, Iris. I can wait.”
“I know. I want to,” she says with a cheek-reddened smile. “I want you, and… and you’ve earned it. You’ve held me after my nightmares these past several months. You’ve waited for me, and most importantly, you like me for me. I don’t have hide anythin’ from you, and even being my silly, stupid self, you like it. I feel confident around you, and I can’t tell you the last time I felt confident.”
I smile at her. Well, if she wants it…
I grab her shoulders and flip so I have one knee between her slightly spread legs. Her breathing increases dramatically.
“Oh gosh, I’m so nervous!”
She throws a hand over her face, making me chuckle.
“I’ve got you. Don’t worry.”
I gently trace a finger down her neck to the top of her t-shirt.
“Is this gonna come off for me, Ms. Shelby?” I whisper in her ear, sending goosebumps down her skin.
“Well, I, um, yes?” she squeaks.
I laugh and kiss her. “I think it is.”
I slowly trail my hands down the sides of her body. I don’t miss the shiver that runs through her body with my touch. Oh, I already know Wes couldn’t be more wrong. When my hands curl around the ends of her t-shirt, her eyes widen with panic.
/>
I immediately let go.
“Hey,” I soothe, “Talk to me.”
“I don’t work out!” She blurts out so suddenly it almost makes me laugh.“Wh-what?” I quirk an eyebrow, grinning.
“I don’t work out. Like… I have fat and stuff. It’s all there. Not pretty. Top stays on.”
Chuckling, I slide the top up her body. “I happen to like your body. Top comes off.”
“Oh God!” She turns red as a cherry as I slide the top up her slim, strong shoulders.
“Up,” I whisper when the top reaches her neck. She listens, still hiding her face. As soon as the top is off her body, the red spreads down to the base of her neck.“You’re beautiful,” I whisper, kissing down her neck. She wiggles slightly underneath me.“Wh-what do I-I do?” Her teeth chatter, but I can feel the need rolling off her. That’s why she’s scared. She doesn’t want me to stop, but desperately wishes she did.
“Whatever you want. Just let go.”
With that, I take one of her nipples into my mouth. She screeches and throws her hand into my hair.
“Derek!” She yells, writhing in the sheets. She’s awake now. I smile against her skin.“You like that?”
Her eyes are wide. She reaches an arm out and tugs on my shirt with heavily lidded eyes.
“Sure do. My turn.”
I throw my shirt off of my body and onto the floor with hers. Her gaze runs over my body before her fingers tentatively run over my abs. I grab her wrist and encourage her to explore, sensing her hesitation. Her fingers are feather light against my skin.
“Is this from working for the FBI?”
I chuckle at her innocence. “Yeah, and hours and hours in the gym. And lots of chicken.”
She looks down and frowns at her own stomach. I immediately reach out and jerk her chin upwards.
“No. You are beautiful. Perfect. To me.”
I kiss down her stomach with each word. The fluttering of her belly feeds my actions. Slowly, watching her for hesitation, I slide my hand down her flannel bottoms. Her leg muscles tense, but when the pressure of my fingers increases on her skin, feeling her wetness, she relaxes slightly, to my surprise. A moan escapes her mouth.“That feels real good, Derek.”
I smile and let my fingers slide over her clit, before pressing down hard. She gasps, jerking her hips up into my hand.
“Yes! Keep doing that, please.”
I chuckle. Wes said she was bad at this? Holy hell, he’s such a dick.
I continue to play with her clit. Just as she’s about to fall over that ledge of pleasure, I stop and slide back up her body.“You’re stoppin’. No, what?”
“No, hun. I’m not stopping, but the first time you come, I want it to be inside you.”
Her cheeks turn an even deeper shade of pink. “Uh… what if…”
I stop her words with a kiss. “Stop with the what-ifs. So far, I couldn’t be having a better time.”
I wink. While she tries to process everything, I slowly slide my pants off my body. Her gaze turns heated when I’m naked in front of her. For the first time, she shifts out of her position. Vulnerability marking her gaze, she hooks her fingers under the edge of her pants.
“I don’t look as good as you,” she says, with terrified hazel eyes.
“I think you look perfect.”
Her eyes roll as her head shakes back and forth. “You’re obligated to say that,” she mutters as she slides her pants down her legs.
“Are you calling me, a man of the law, a liar?” I tease.
She smirks, tossing her head left and right. “Even good men do bad deeds, agent.”
“I don’t know about bad deeds, but we can definitely be naughty.”
Summoning all her bravery, she slips out of her pants, leaving her gloriously naked for me. “Show me.”
“With pleasure.”
I’m on her in an instant, lips colliding. Apparently, Iris doesn’t need soft and gentle when she’s aroused and trusting. Her leg curls around my hips.
“Stop me if you… you don’t like it.”
That momentarily kills my arousal. “Iris, angel, you are hot as shit right now. Please keep going.”
Her eyes light up as her lips once again collide with mine.
“I love you. I love you. I love you.”
I pick her up and gently lay her out on the bed. Her brown hair surrounds her like a halo. “I love you so much, Iris Jane Shelby.”
She looks all soft and mushy.
I slide over her and mold our bodies together. Skin on skin, but most importantly, there’s so much heart involved. So many demons crushed, killed, and buried.
She’s perfect to me. She always will be.
This is the first time she had sex, came, and had been treated halfway decently.
For me, this is the moment I learned what is to make love to a woman. Not to fuck them and walk away.
Because after this, there is no way, no force on earth, that could get me to walk away from the small town country girl lying in my bed.
“Okay, seriously, I have to know. What is with the Nemo thing?”
Everyone is situated in the cramped living room: me, Iris, Jay, Hunter, Iris’s parents, Kingston, Blythe… We’re all here.
As soon as the question leaves my mouth, everyone starts laughing. Even Kingston lets out a little amused smirk.
“Well…” Jay begins.
“You’ll like this story,” Blythe says gingerly from across the room. Iris and Blythe are snuggled up under a blanket together. It’s cute how close they are. Iris groans slightly, but her smile is still in place. She’s happy to be back with her family, in her town. I’m happy to be here, too. Sitting with Hunter and her dad on this couch, completely comfortable and totally welcome, I know I made the right choice uprooting my life and coming out here. Not just for her, although yeah, it was mainly for her. Coming out here and getting a sheriff position for the local police department is what I need. After all these years undercover, seeing the darkest parts of humanity, I appreciate the ability to improve a low-key local police department. It’s something I need for me.
Anyway…
“It’s something I came up with when Iris was a young teen,” Jay starts again, “but it’s Carson that really made it stick. I joked one time about it, but Carson used it all the time. You never got the chance to meet ‘im, but if you did, you’d understand that when Carson did something, we all just sort of followed suit. He was the baby we all loved.”I can feel the pain emanating in the room. There’s a picture of a baby-faced Carson in the living room. I admire the fact that, despite their pain, they let him live on through their words and pictures.
“Why the name Nemo?”
Everyone chuckles again, letting the pain fizzle down. “Well Iris’s stutter reminded me of Nemo’s bad fin in a lot of ways. Not to mention,” Jay’s amused eyes go to Iris, “I don’t know if you’ve seen her intense dislike of fish, but it’s real. If a live fish gets anywhere near Iris, the responsible party will see a side of Iris you didn’t know existed.” I smile as I remember our time on the pier. Her freaking out about fish scales.
“I’ve seen it.” I smile at Iris.
“You wouldn’t be smiling if you’d seen it,” King says, taking a swig of beer.
“Yeah,” Hunter scoffs, “You’d know.”
“I assume there’s a story there?” I prompt.
“Yeah. King frickin’ threw me off the pier because I asked him too many questions,” Iris scowls. “Someone left a piece of food where I was thrown, so there were so many fish. All these scales.”
Iris shudders.
“It was the grossest moment of my life. So slimy!”
“In his defense,” Jay says, ever the diplomat of the group, “he did jump in immediately, in the middle of the fish frenzy, and pull you out.”
“I’d have popped him with a bebe gun if he didn’t!”
Everybody laughs. “Wow, Iris, I didn’t know you were so violent.”
“Well, you should listen to what they’re telling you. If a fish scale touches my skin because of you, I will hurt you. I’m still mad at King over that.”
“Got it. If we want this relationship to work, no live fish.” I tap the side of my head. “Consider that information stored away.”
Iris beams over at me. Blythe has an overly dramatic swooning look on her face. Hunter, on the other hand, is shaking his head.
“Damn, you two were made for each other. You’re such dorks, Jesus.”
“Oh, be nice, Hunter. You’re just jealous,” Blythe defends us with a smile.
“Comin’ from the dork pack leader herself.”
“That insult comin’ from Kingston’s pack mule himself.”
The room breaks out with a multitude of reactions. Hunter’s eyes narrow dangerously, Iris’s jaw drops, her mom shakes her head, King turns his head and covers his mouth to hide a smile — God forbid we see — but the loudest person of all is Iris’s father, whose deep, bellowing laughter fills the room.
“Okay, that’s enough, Blythe. Play nice,” he scolds lightly, without much heart.
“What do we do with you, sweetie?” Iris’s mom shakes her head.
Blythe ducks her head, but winks at me from under her lashes, clearly not affected by everyone’s dramatic reaction to her comeback. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, the girl is so ridiculous. She’s almost not human. I mean, for real. Right now, she’s wearing a long maxi dress that goes down to her ankles with Winnie the Pooh’s face on it. To go with that, she has combat boots and a light, see-through pink sweater on top.
So yeah, the girl gives, like, zero fucks what anyone thinks of her.
Has she always lived in this town? How did she and Blythe meet?
I shake my head to stop the spiraling questions. One of the hardest things about coming here has been turning my FBI brain off. I want to know more about what the men of the Shelby family are into. I want to know how Blythe came into town. But if I’ve learned anything from the little time I’ve spent in the small-town PD, it’s that in towns like this, a lot gets overlooked. So I guess, for now, their secrets are safe.
