by Lucy Evanson
Cora dropped one hand down between his legs and took him in her hands. He was warm and very stiff, and she could feel him shudder as she squeezed. He kissed her hard on the neck, almost biting her as she began to stroke him.
“Does that feel good?”
“It feels incredible,” he said.
“Then touch me too.”
He was gentle at first, letting his fingers play softly over the curls as his hand dropped down. Nathan cupped her between the legs, just letting her feel the warmth of his hand for a moment before beginning to slowly slide back and forth. He pressed harder and her arousal became clear as his fingers slipped easily inside.
She would have happily stayed like that forever, just kissing and touching each other there in the firelight, but her blood was quickening. As was Nathan’s, apparently. He drew his hand away from her and began to press her thighs apart.
“Not yet,” she murmured. “I want you to kiss me some more.”
His mouth found hers, but she gently pushed down on his shoulders, driving him lower and lower. His tongue trailed over her throat and still she pushed. Her chest. Her breasts. Her tummy. Finally his mouth fell between her legs and he drank from her most secret place.
Her fists were clenched in his hair as he kissed her there, letting his tongue glide over her soft, slick flesh and dive deeply within. Cora had rarely felt a sensation like this; a wave of passion was building up within her that would surely sweep everything away. Her breath was coming now in ragged bursts, and it felt like her heart would break free of her chest, it was beating so strongly. No man had ever inflamed her passions like this before. She trembled violently under his lips, and for the first time in her life she realized what a delicious feeling it was to lose control.
No. Not to lose control. To have given it up.
“Nathan, take me,” she whispered. He placed a final kiss on her sex and then raised himself, settling in between her legs. Cora guided him in and he lowered his body to hers, letting out a soft groan as he entered her.
She hooked her legs around his and held him to her as tightly as she could. He was strong and beautiful in the firelight, and though she knew that she had problems stacked up to the ceiling, she was able to put all those aside for now. Drake didn’t matter. Emma didn’t matter. None of it did. Only being here with Nathan mattered now. There would be a time—and soon—when he would want to go his separate way, but for now they were together and she was happy for it.
His mouth was all over her again, taking in the hard flesh of her nipples, gently biting her ear, sucking hard on her tongue. One hand held her hip tightly as he ground himself against her, and she could hear his breath growing short. It felt like she was being raised up on a great wave as he rocked his hips, and in a moment he stiffened and drove himself inside her like never before. A wave of pleasure washed through her, wiping away every thought, every idea, every instinct except that to have him close like this.
She shivered and trembled for a long minute afterwards, hugging Nathan to her and listening to his breath become slower and calm. He was heavy on her, though pleasantly so, and she only reluctantly let him move to the side. He pulled her close and she laid her head on his chest. His heart was strong and loud.
She ran her hand across his side and over his chest. Nathan brought her fingers to his mouth and kissed them. It was lovely to imagine that they could stay here like this, and for a moment she succumbed to temptation. She would wake to his kisses every morning, and it would only be warm and bright. She would go to the shop every day, a respected businesswoman; he would tend to their many fine horses and people would come from miles around just to see them. In the evenings they would reunite and Nathan would take her to bed; they would lose themselves among the waves of passion and she would fall asleep with his strong arm draped around her every night. Perhaps one day she would even find herself with child, and they would begin building a proper family, one in which everybody loved everybody and nobody ever went away. It would be lovely. But it wasn’t what Nathan had agreed to.
As she stared at the dwindling fire, the doubts and worries that she had banished from her mind came creeping back. This would be the only night at the house; come Monday it would belong to Emma. As would all the money, and there would be no reason for Nathan to stick around. He had already done more than he’d signed up for; she couldn’t expect him to stay with her when there was nothing for him in the deal. Cora would be right back where she’d started and with absolutely naught to show for it.
She propped her head up on one elbow and looked at him. Perhaps anyone would look good in the light of a fire, but Nathan wasn’t just anyone. His eyes lit up as he looked at her, and that warm smile of his gleamed in the dim room. She had suspected it before, but she had kept the thought locked up tight until this moment: she was really going to miss him when he left.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
She forced a weak smile. I’ll be damned if I admit that and sound like some lovestruck fool. “Oh, just everything that happened today,” she said. “You know, you once told me that you were glad you married me. Bet you feel a little different now.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, you know…I won’t have the money I promised you,” she said. “And you ended up just wasting a lot of time.”
A puzzled look came into his eyes. “I spent time,” he said. “I didn’t waste a minute.”
She gave him another slight smile and let her head drop back to his chest. He began to rub her back, and she felt herself getting sleepy. Very well, she told herself. I’ll let myself believe that he’s unlike any other man I’ve ever met, and that he’ll stay when he doesn’t have to. At least for tonight.
He waited until he was sure that she was asleep before he allowed himself to relax. As much as he could, anyway. There were so many thoughts churning around in his head that he was sure he’d be spending most of the night awake.
It may have been selfish of him to kiss her when he did, but he couldn’t make himself feel too badly about it. It had probably been his last chance to be with her, and there was no way he was going to let it slip through his fingers. He lifted himself up slightly so that he could look at her again. She was a true angel there, her face so beautifully calm and peaceful, her lips parted just slightly like those of a sleeping babe. He dropped down and pulled her closer. She was soft and warm in all the right places, and if she hadn’t been dead asleep he would have given her another kiss and started the whole thing all over again. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like that was going to be in the cards.
Now that Drake had spilled his guts to Emma, there would be no inheritance coming Cora’s way. And with no inheritance, there was no reason to maintain appearances as a married couple. And with no reason to maintain appearances, she would surely tell him to get out. It was best to face that fact now, rather than the next day. Even with her bottom pressed against him now as she slept, even with the taste of her still upon his lips, he couldn’t allow this night to mean more to him than it would mean to her.
He’d have to downplay this, to act as if it had been no big deal, no matter how much it hurt to do it. Cora had made it quite clear that she wasn’t interested in making their marriage more than it was, and the last time she thought he’d wanted more, she had put him through a week of hell right after Christmas. He wasn’t eager to repeat that. So in the morning, he would swallow his pride and act as if their night together had just been part of their business arrangement. Like one partner paying another. Like they hadn’t made love at all.
If there was one thing you could say about February in Wisconsin, it was that the weather was predictably unpredictable. The blizzard of the previous afternoon had blown over entirely, leaving a sunny, almost balmy day in its wake.
Cora woke to the sound of snow sloughing off the roof and falling to the ground below; when she opened her eyes she at first thought it was raining, so much snow melt was pouring down from the e
aves. She could hear Nathan downstairs in the kitchen, though she couldn’t imagine what he was doing. After being vacant for so many months, the home’s pantry surely didn’t have anything that they would want to eat.
She let her eyes close again as she pulled the blanket up tighter around her throat. The room was no longer warmed by the long-dead fire, and although she couldn’t quite see her breath there in the bedroom, it was close.
In a few minutes she heard the creak of the stairs, and Nathan entered the bedroom with a tray. He stood quietly in the doorway for a moment, perhaps unsure if she were still sleeping, until she opened her eyes and smiled at him.
“Morning,” he said. “It’s not the best breakfast I’ve ever made, but it’s all we had.” He lowered the tray to reveal a cup of tea and several biscuits and crackers on a saucer.
“It’s better than I could have done, I’m sure.” Cora sat up and took the tray onto her lap, wrapping her hands around the steaming cup. “Thank you, Nathan.”
He nodded. “I’m going out to check on the pony,” he said. “And after you eat, you should get dressed. It’s going to be a long slog back home, and we should get going.” He turned and left without saying another word.
She ate quickly while the tea was still hot. Her clothes were entirely dry after spending the night hung in front of the fire, and by the time Nathan returned to the house she was dressed and waiting for him.
“That was fast,” he said.
“It’s easy to get ready when I don’t have any choice of what to wear,” she said, grinning at him.
“Well, then I suppose we should get going.” He opened the door for her and she stepped out onto the small back porch; the Cob turned its head to look at her and nickered, as if surprised to see her upright and conscious. Nathan closed the door and helped Cora onto the pony’s back, then untied the reins from the porch railing and started down the long, sloping drive.
The sun was doing its best to clear the roads, and their trek back to Mineral Point was accompanied by the near-constant sound of melting snow falling heavily from the trees. It must have been horrible walking through the slush as Nathan was, but he didn’t say a word about it. In fact, he had barely spoken to her all morning, and not once since they had left the house. The pony was getting more out of him than Cora was so far.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing, however. It gave her the chance to think about what had happened and what options remained; she had to admit that things seemed a bit more hopeful on this bright morning than they had yesterday in the throes of the storm. Like Nathan had said, there was always the chance that whatever Drake had figured out and passed to Emma simply wouldn’t be enough to prove anything. And if he couldn’t prove anything, then she would be getting her inheritance: money and a home. If that were assured, then she’d be set for life. She truly wouldn’t need anybody else ever again.
Or would I? Her gaze drifted to Nathan as he strode through the collapsing snowdrifts, the reins firm in his fist. She had rarely felt so angry at a man as she had when he’d insisted—again—that she needed him. But she’d also never experienced a passion like the one he had kindled within her. Her cheeks grew warm as she remembered the feel of his chest against hers, his taste, his scent. Even now her blood began to race at the memory of his hands on her body, and she shook her head to clear the thoughts from her mind.
So he’s attractive. I’ve known that since the first day I saw him. It doesn’t change anything. He’s still just a man, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t rely on men.
At that moment, Nathan’s feet almost went out from under him as he slipped on an exposed patch of ice, accidentally jerking the reins. The startled pony bucked slightly, and Cora felt herself about to fall.
Before she could even unfold her arms to brace herself, however, Nathan had leaped to her side. He caught her before she’d even slipped entirely out of the saddle and gently pushed her back to a sitting position.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “At least, I am now.”
He nodded, then took up the reins again and started up the long incline that would lead them over the hills from Dodgeville back to Mineral Point. Maybe he is the one I can rely on, she thought. Since she’d first met him, he had been there for her at every time, in every way. Much as she hated to admit it, perhaps she had grown to depend on him. If he were to leave—if he were to return her to her life as it had been—she knew already that she’d feel his absence in her soul itself, as if he’d be taking a part of her along with him.
It almost made her laugh at herself. She had spent years making sure that no man got too close, and now when one was on the verge of leaving, she wanted him to stay. She puzzled over that for the long ride home, until they were back on their own street, stopped in front of the boutique.
“Let’s get on up there and I’ll make you some lunch,” she said. “You must be starved by now.”
“You go on ahead,” he said. “I’ve got to bring the pony back and explain what happened to the neighbors.” He helped her down and she lifted the hem of her dress as she hurried around to the back. When she entered the apartment, it seemed like it had been forever since she’d been home, though in a way it also seemed like no time at all had passed. Nathan’s sandwich still sat on its plate on the kitchen table, and as she looked into the sitting room she could see that the sofa had been pushed out of place when she’d struggled with Drake.
She hung up her cloak and went to sit down in the kitchen. It would be a big step, opening herself up to him; maybe the biggest thing she had ever done, in fact. What would I even say? That I don’t want him to go? That I want to stay married?
The mere thought of telling him such secrets filled her with a fear that set her pulse racing. She would be lifting her armor to reveal her fragile heart beneath. But then again, Nathan had already taken her heart. There was nothing to fear.
Could it really be that simple? I offer my heart and he takes it? Her mind raced over the last few months. Every chance he had had, Nathan had surprised her. He had done more than she’d asked. He had been better than she’d expected. From the way he looked at her to the way he touched her, everything he did made her feel something she had never felt before. He made her feel like a woman who could be loved.
She heard the door open downstairs and then the heavy clomp of his boots. This is it, she thought. I’ll explain how it’ll be easier if we just stay together and we’ll let things go from there. He’ll get the idea.
She took a deep breath, though it did nothing to calm the butterflies she felt in her stomach. How silly. I’m nervous about asking my husband to stay married.
Nathan entered and saw her sitting in the kitchen. “I’ll be right there, Cora,” he said, then went to his room. She heard him opening the drawers in his bureau, and after a minute he returned with his satchel, which he dropped by the front door before stepping into the kitchen.
“Well, you’re back safe and sound,” he said.
She smiled. “Thanks to you.”
“I better get down to the hotel and explain things to Mr. Gates,” he said. “I told him I was going for lunch yesterday and never came back.”
“Okay, you should go do that. But before you do, we should talk about what’s going to happen,” she said. “I’m going over to Emma’s now, but it looks like I probably won’t be getting any money at all.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “I’m sorry to hear that, Cora.”
“Me too.” She stood up and went over to him. “So I guess we just need to decide what to do about us.”
He gave her a smile which looked almost sad for a moment. “I had a thought on the way back,” he said. “It might make things easier for both of us.”
She felt her heart skip. Did he read my mind? “What’s that?”
He reached out to caress her cheek, letting his hand slide softly over her skin before dropping away. “I’m going back to the b
oarding house,” he said quietly.
The blood rushed loud in her ears and she felt a chill settle over her. She was both certain that she’d heard him correctly, and sure that she’d heard him wrong. “What did you say?”
“It’ll be better this way,” he said. “I mean, it looks like our agreement isn’t going to work out. I can’t think of a reason for us to try and keep making it look like we’re really married, can you?”
She had to swallow hard before she could speak. “No,” she said, though her voice was only a whisper.
“I’ll be staying in town for a while, so I can work and save up some more money,” he said. “You can come by the hotel and let me know how things work out.” Then, he gave her another sad smile and thrust out his hand.
It couldn’t have felt worse if he had reached into her chest and torn out her heart directly. Cora couldn’t help staring at him for a long moment as if he were another man entirely before reaching out for him. His hand was warm on hers, as usual, though she now felt no comfort in it.
It was almost funny, it was so absurd: after all that they had been through, after the long months together as man and wife, after he had taken her to bed only hours ago, he was leaving with a mere handshake. Guess this really was just business, she thought.
“I’ll stop by the hotel then sometime next week,” she said, fighting hard to keep her voice even.
He nodded, then picked up his bag, turned, and walked out. His footsteps echoed in the hollow, empty staircase.
Cora went to the sitting room and let herself fall heavily on the sofa, cursing herself for having let her hopes grow like she had. The only good thing is that I didn’t have the chance to make a fool of myself and say too much.
She was tempted to stay there in the dimly lit room, to just hide from the world and let the tears come, but she forced herself to her feet. There was still a chance—a tiny one, but she had no other—that things weren’t as bad as they seemed. Cora went to the door, put on her cloak and started down the stairs.
