Swiftly heading toward the front door, I turn to glance at Tatum one more time. She throws her head back taking Lord only knows what shot, and then slams the glass down on the bar while wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
I walk faster.
Okay, first talk to Ryder, then assuming she will not be accompanying me this evening, I’ll head over to Parallel to keep an eye on Tate. I’ll stay in the distance, but for some reason, I can’t seem to shake off the feeling that something bad is going down tonight.
And I’ll be damned if something happens to her on my watch.
“Damn, it’s hot in here,” Sadie yells over the music as we both pin the hair to the backs of our heads with one hand while fanning our necks with the other. Stepping off the dance floor together, we head to our seats.
“Well,” I say, plucking off the strand of hair stuck to my shoulder, “That’s because we’ve been shaking our asses for the last couple of hours. On a floor completely covered with sweaty ass people doing the same thing.” I glance over at Sadie in her royal blue mini-skirt with matching five-inch heels wearing a simple white tank top, and her peacock earrings dangling from her ears tying everything together. I wouldn’t be able to pull that look off. Ever.
As we approach the table, I notice Cash nestled in the corner with his damn cousin, Adley, laughing at whatever super-duper amusing thing she must be saying. His dark hair covered with a camouflage baseball cap, his eyes are almost completely hidden from me as his shoulders shake from laughter, absolutely enthralled in their conversation. I watch as she stomps the floor with her turquoise cowboy boots as she doubles over with laughter, her long blonde hair falling over her shoulders in the process brushing the hem of her denim skirt. Cash raises his hand and pushes her hair back, the gesture almost a little too intimate for me.
Glancing back over at Sadie, I can tell I’m not the only one who seems to think so, which is oddly comforting. Her face pinched in disgust, she looks back at me. “That shit ain’t right, Tate.” She shakes her head, trying to clear the image before she continues. “Why is she here anyway? Isn’t this supposed to be like your anniversary date from hell do-over night?”
I elbow her in the side and gesture for her to lower her voice since we’re now within hearing distance, and then I just shrug because honestly, I have no idea what she’s doing here either. I kind of feel like maybe it’s some form of payback for bashing in his back window, so I said nothing when she showed up at his place earlier tonight. I just went with it. I felt like it was much easier that way.
Greeted by a huge smile from Daniel, he extends his arms out for Sadie to take a seat in his lap, his shaggy brown hair reminding me of a surfer. She grins back and plops down none too gently. I don’t blame her, my feet are throbbing.
Before I take my seat, I run my eyes over the crowd, hoping to catch sight of Noah. I have no idea where he and Ryder are. He said they were coming, but I guess they must have taken a detour on the way here. The thought alone makes my chest ache.
I know we’re friends and that’s all, but sometimes there are these random moments, much like the one we shared earlier tonight in the bathroom, when I almost let myself believe he would see something in me. Just like all the wonderful things I’ve seen in him during our time together this summer. For as cocky as he likes to act, he’s actually very thoughtful. Like, he always opens doors for me and pulls out my seat when we go to lunch. And he pays attention to me, engaging me in conversation as though interested in what I have to say. I’m grateful to have the time with him that I’ve had, but deep in my mind, I know it’s coming to a close, and soon. He’s leaving in a month for Harvard.
Hearing Adley’s cackle mixed with traces of Cash’s laughter, I think back to the last lunch Noah and I had together, when he laughed so hard, he snorted. Noah Reese actually snorted, and it was a beautiful sound. Okay, not really. But the sight of him at ease, having fun and enjoying himself, while laughing at something I said, well — it was something I will never let myself forget. That was beautiful. It was then I declared my mission complete.
I care about him. I do. And I want the best for him. However, sadly I do not fall into that category, so I keep those moments stored in my mind and heart, in my own memories. I’m sure they’re nothing to him, but to me they serve as a reminder that if Mr. Perfect can change, maybe there’s hope for me too.
“Hey, Tate, I think we’re gonna get out of here. It’s getting late, and Daniel has to open the bar tomorrow. You gonna be okay?” Sadie asks after another dismal glance at Cash.
Taking her hand, I smile. “I’ll be fine, Sadie. I always am.” I pull her into me and squeeze her tight. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Alright. Well, call me if you need anything, no matter what time.” She releases me and sits back into Daniel. I tug her out of his lap, giving her another hug before leaving the table. This night has been a complete bust.
Approaching the bar, I pull up a stool and order a beer and a shot. Throwing a ten dollar bill onto the bar just as the drinks appear in front of me, I hear another annoying cackle from behind me and throw my head back, shooting the tequila. Not even bothering with the lime, I chase it with a long swig of my beer.
I hurt.
My legs hurt.
My feet hurt.
But most of all, my heart hurts.
I just want it to all go away.
Warmth coats my insides and lines the tops of my cheeks. I watch the bartender hard at work, but when the crowd across from me breaks, my gaze lands on a set of dark brown eyes intensely staring at me from the other side of the bar. My heart stops, but my smile doesn’t.
Just as I step off my stool, Sugarland’s Stuck Like Glue begins to play throughout the club. Bouncing up and down to the music, I approach him with a huge grin on my face and grab his hand, turning and skipping along while I lead him out onto the dance floor. He follows with absolutely no resistance. Once on the floor, I face him. My bouncing must really be getting on his nerves because his jaw clenches as he stares at me, but before long he wraps one arm tightly around my waist, pulling my body into his, while gently taking my hand.
And then we dance.
Our bodies press against each other as he leads us around the insanely packed floor. Being careful not to run into anyone, he draws my body flush against his chest as we mesh together, folding into to one another as we spin, our legs almost tangling as we three-step. As the beat begins to slow, he releases his hold on me as we stand, facing each other amidst a sea of moving people. My body begins to sway back and forth with the slowed tempo, the music now governing my movement. Hooking my fingers into his belt loops, I pull him back into me as I slow dance, turning my back into his stomach as I grind against him. Slowly, almost hesitantly, his fingers splay themselves around my waist and then over my hips, continuing their movement until he’s grabbing sections of my dress in his hands. Tightening his grip, he pulls me even closer into his body and I place my hands on the top of his, encouraging him. When he presses into me, my body responds immediately.
As soon as the tempo picks back up, he grabs my hand and spins me back around, once again with his arm around my waist and leads me in another round of three-step. When the music ends, we stop at the edge of the dance floor. Panting from the heat, the dancing, and whatever just happened between us, we stare at each other until I start to feel the floor start to spin all around me.
“I have to go,” I say, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion and alcohol. “Thanks for the dance, though. It was…fun.” I turn towards the table, only to find it completely vacant.
My eyes dart from person to person, in search of Cash or his dumbass cousin. I can feel my nerves as they spark my heart, sending a jolt of realization throughout my body.
It’s too much for me to take.
Tears begin to prick my eyes and I shake my head to fight them.
I don’t want to feel anymore.
I don’t want to be reminded constantly of
what I can’t have, but my heart betrays me. I don’t want to be forced to accept what I currently do have, which is someone who leaves me stranded by myself in a bar.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
I fan my face and try gulping air down my throat, but I can’t seem to get it past the huge knot taking up all the space.
I can’t breathe.
While still gasping for breath, I’m suddenly lifted off my feet, cradled in the arms of Noah while he carries me towards the front door. Kicking it open with his boot, he says something to the bouncer that I can’t hear over my desperate attempts to get air into my lungs.
“Breathe, Tate. Just breathe, baby. We’re almost there,” he whispers softly in my ear. He’s walking so fast that my body bounces in his hold as he makes his way across the parking lot.
I hear the sound of the alarm to his Jeep and then I’m set down on my feet, with his arm still around my waist as he holds me steady while opening the door. Then I’m once again lifted and gently placed in the passenger seat. Crouching down in front of me, he places his face in my line of sight.
“Look at me, Tate. Breathe in through your nose, slowly.” I take in a slow, deep breath and hold it, waiting for further instruction. My brain is mush.
“Let it out through your mouth, just as slowly.” I exhale deeply as tears roll down my cheeks. My entire body is shaking. He raises his eyebrows and nods slowly, gesturing with his hand for me to do it again. I breathe in. Then out. And then in again. I continue until I no longer feel like I’m going to pass out.
Once I’m breathing regularly, he places his hands on either side of my neck and wipes the moisture from my cheeks with his thumbs, holding my face while he peers into my eyes, making sure my breakdown is no longer a threat.
A lopsided smile appears on his face. “Well, shit. I guess I should have warned you about the effects of my dance moves on the ladies. Don’t worry, I’ll take it easy on you next time.”
Next time? I’m surprised he’d want to do anything with me at all after that horrific display.
Relieved, I shove his shoulder and grin back at him. “Evs. Could you be any more arrogant?”
He chuckles lightly. “Evs? What the hell is that?”
I grab my hair and twist it over my shoulder, grateful for the breeze of air hitting my open back.
“You know, evs? Like, whatever.” His smile widens as he rises to a standing position.
“Evs. I like that.”
I watch the corners of his mouth dip back down as he asks, “You sure you’re okay?”
I nod and take in another deep breath. “I’m fine. Can you just take me to Cash’s? I’ll call Sadie to come get me, so you don’t have to stay. I just need to get my stuff out of there first.”
His jaw tightens, but he nods before he closes me in.
I reach down into the floorboard for my purse so I can text Sadie. Shit.
Throwing the door back open, I begin to step out of the Jeep but before my shoes hit the gravel, Noah pivots around and places his hands on my shoulders, forcing my back down into the seat.
“I’ll get it.” It takes everything in me not to laugh. It’s scary when you start sharing the same brain with someone.
“Okay,” I say with a smile, swinging my legs back in as he closes the door. And locks it.
Leaning my forehead against the window, I watch both his entry and exit from the bar. The alarm sounds and the locks click as he makes his way around the front of the vehicle. After opening his door, he hands me my purse. Immediately, I take out my phone and text Sadie.
“Alright, tell me where I’m heading.”
“It’s not far, actually. Right on Morrow.”
He nods a quick nod and puts the Jeep in reverse as I let out a long yawn, suddenly exhausted. Wondering what time it is, I look down at my wrist and laugh.
“Hair past a freckle.”
Noah looks over at me and shifts into drive. “Hair past a what?”
I giggle. “Hair past a freckle. That’s what my daddy always used to say when he was caught without a watch. The time is ‘Hair past a freckle’. Get it?” I crack up while he just looks at me like I’m crazy. I let out a long breath as my laughter subsides.
“I miss him. He died when I was six, you know.”
Noah’s face falls a bit before he responds. “My mom died when I was six as well. I know from experience how hard it is when you lose someone so young.” His brown eyes move from the road to hold mine. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Alcohol still flooding my system, I break out into a sweat as my stomach churns. I really wish he had the top off right about now. “Um, would you mind rolling down the windows?”
He eyes me suspiciously but does as I request. Placing my arm along the side of the door, I set my chin on my forearm, the breeze flowing all around me.
“He was in a car accident, because of me…” I trail off as blurry lights pass by.
“I was crying because he forgot my ice cream. He’d promised me ice cream and he’d forgotten to get it, so I selfishly threw a fit in the back seat. While still driving, he unbuckled his seatbelt and turned around to tell me that we were going to another store to get the ice cream, but when he did, he accidentally drove into the opposite lane. We were hit head on.”
We slow as Noah turns onto Morrow.
“I sustained only minor injuries, but since he wasn’t buckled, he was thrown from the car. He died right in front of me on the side of the road. I cried and told him I was sorry, hoping that would bring him back, but it didn’t. He was gone.” I let out a long sigh. “My mother blamed me for the rest of her life.”
I lay my cheek down, turning my face to the side so I can see him. I’m not surprised by the pity I see in his eyes.
“I killed our family. And I spent my entire childhood paying the price.” I say as we come to a stop in Cash’s driveway. His truck’s not here, which means I need to get in there now.
Opening the door, I set my foot on the ground, only to twist back around when Noah asks, “What about Trace? He’s family, isn’t he?”
I shake my head. “He died the day he didn’t believe me,” I say sadly. “He left me there for years, with her. When he finally came back, I told him everything. About her drinking, her rages, her abuse. He told me I was crazy. I’d rather have no family and remain alone than to forgive him for that.”
Fully stepping out of the Jeep, I close the door behind me and then duck my head down into the open window. “Thanks for the ride, Noah. Sadie’s on her way, you’re free to go. You are officially off-duty.” Emotionally exhausted, I give him a salute and let out a defeated laugh as I turn away from him and start to walk up the driveway.
“Family isn’t always blood, Tate. Sometimes family is made up of the people surrounding you, those who love you and who accept you. You’re not alone. No matter how much you think you are, or even want to be. When you need your family, they’ll be there. Always.”
Too exhausted to speak, I don’t even respond to his words. I just continue towards Cash’s front door. As soon as I open it, I hear Noah backing out of the driveway.
His lights disappear as I step inside, so I shut the door behind me and continue on into the house. Hearing a muffled giggling, I start to yell for Sadie, thinking she beat me here, but when I enter the living room, I see a familiar pair of turquoise boots wrapped around Cash’s waist, his body clamped tightly between the legs inside of them.
Completely in shock at the sight in front of me, my heart pounds mercilessly against my ribcage and my hands to shake. A surge of adrenaline shoots through my veins as the knowledge that the woman in front of me is definitely not his cousin. I watch her hands run up and down the back of his wife-beater tank while he nuzzles her neck, receiving more of her cackling as a reward.
Thoughts of the first night he brought her to “The Office”, the morning when I groveled, pleading for him to take me back while he made me feel like shit for br
eaking his back window, all the times she hung out with us, encouraging him to stay up late to watch TV with her long after I went to bed, the display at the club tonight — they all attack me at once, each one a slap in the face.
I’m going to kill him.
Every emotion that I’ve suppressed tonight rages to the surface as I make a mad dash across the room and literally launch myself onto his back, throwing a pair of ugly ass turquoise boots out of the way as I replace them with my body. Screaming, I squeeze him tightly with my legs and place him into a choke hold with one arm around his neck while beating his bicep with my closed fist.
Another high pitched scream hits the air, but I don’t care. All I see is red. Anger takes over as I extend myself over the side of his shoulder and hit him as hard as I can on the side of his face. Fiercely, he jerks himself into a standing position while roaring “YOU BITCH!” just as I lose my hold on him, falling to the floor.
And the last thing I see before the popcorn ceiling is his stupid ass “Class of 2007” high school senior ring coming full-force toward my face.
What the fuck am I doing?
Veering to the right side of the road, I put the Jeep in park and stare at my dashboard.
Knowing Tatum’s alone in Dickhead the Douchebag’s house, packing her shit to leave him — or at least I hope she’s leaving him this time — does not sit well with me. And right after I delivered my epic you’re-never-alone speech.
Disappointed, I shake my head in disbelief. I’m such a fucking hypocrite.
Circling the steering wheel as many times as I can to the left, I put the Jeep back in drive and turn back towards Cash’s house. There’s no way in hell that I’m going to let her do this by herself, unprotected. I saw the unadulterated fury in his eyes in the parking lot the night she bashed out his window, and I have no doubt that if I hadn’t been there he would have harmed her. Just the thought of him laying his hands on her — Jesus. I shake my head again as my jaw clenches on its own accord.
Running in Place (Mending Hearts) Page 8
