by RH Tucker
Yeah. New York. Right after the comic convention that I went to and cosplayed as Iron Man. Something none of my friends know about. How the hell am I going to spin this?
“I’ve seen some of her videos,” Emma says as she opens a bag of chips. “She’s cute, Matt.”
“Yeah.” I nod.
“So, what’s the issue then?” Jen asks.
Letting out another sigh, I look at Jen and Emma. They’re friends, albeit new friends, so I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable at least saying something. But what can I say? Yeah, she likes me, guys, but only if I’m comfortable being the mega nerd I am around everyone else that she knows I am. Yeah, that wouldn’t go over too great. Or would it? I look over at Carter, as he waits for my explanation. I only have one way out of this.
“She’s not into me.”
Carter cocks his head to the side. “I call bullshit.”
“What?”
“Not into you? Matt, there aren’t many girls in this school who,” he makes air-quotes, “aren’t into you. You’re gonna tell me you like a girl, and she’s one of the few that don’t like popular, starting wide-receiver, class president types? Who goes out of his way to watch out for friends?” He motions to Micah’s empty seat. “And dances with girls that get ditched by their dates at homecoming?”
Jen gasps. “So that was true? I heard something about that. You went to dance with a junior when her date ditched her? That’s a big plus.”
“Really?” Emma stares at me like I’m a superhero who rescued a kitten out of a tree.
“Dude.” I look over at Carter. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Right.” He laughs. “Because Janet wasn’t all over you at the after party, falling in love with your heart of gold. Hey, you never told me if you guys hooked up that night.”
“Oh, you don’t kiss and tell. That’s another plus,” Jen teases.
I frustratingly blink at Carter as Emma and Jen both wait for my answer.
“I’m not talking about this right now.” I grit my teeth.
“My point is, if you’re gonna tell me Izzy Jacobs isn’t into you, then I’m calling bullshit.”
“Carter’s right.” Jen smiles, and I can still hear the teasing in her voice. “You’re like a white knight, Matt. You’re practically flawless.” Emma leans over to her, whispering something. “Oh, yeah. We saw you a couple months ago in the gym, during one of your guy’s practices.”
Carter raises an eyebrow at Emma, who looks away embarrassed, while Jen giggles. “You’re rocking a pretty hot six pack too.”
“No, no, no.” I shake my hand at all of them, before slapping Carter in the arm. “Okay, starting wide-receiver sure, but speaking of basketball, hello? Benchwarmer.”
“That’s only because I asked you to play,” Carter counters. “You may not have started, but you lettered. And you were honoring bro-code, giving support to your best friend. And,” he raises a finger in the air. “Don’t think people didn’t notice you sticking by my side when half the team deserted me. That means you’re loyal. Girls like a guy who’s loyal.”
“We do,” Jen says. Her smile and tone make it painfully clear how much fun she’s having, contributing to the discussion.
“Oh, my God.” My hands find my face, palms rubbing my eyes. “I’m done with this conversation.” I shove my soda in my backpack, getting up from the table.
“Oh, come on, Matt,” Carter calls out, still a bit of laughter in his voice.
I wave my hand and walk away. I’m not really mad at any of them for what they’re saying. It’s all pretty true. But it just makes me more aware of how much of a secret I’ve been hiding. Everyone in school has this pristine image in their head of who I am. Liking comic books or video games wouldn’t dirty that image, but it just isn’t part of it. School is nearing completion, why would I mess it up now? I’m not hurting anyone by keeping that stuff a secret. And I’m not hurting myself.
Heading to the other side of the quad, I’m fully intent on heading to my next class and just waiting until the bell rings. I force myself not to look over at Izzy’s table as I cross by the student lounge. Coming out from the lounge are two girls I’ve seen with her. One is about Izzy’s height and same black hair, but curly. The other, I think her name is Cindy, is petite with shoulder length brown hair.
The curly haired one looks at me and flashes a quick smile. “Oh, look, it’s Hottie McFanboy.”
“V!” Cindy scolds her.
“Sorry,” Curly Hair whispers, a hand in front of her mouth before Cindy quickly drags her away.
What the hell? I stand there for a moment, analyzing the weird encounter. What’d she call me? Hottie McFanboy? Fanboy … wait a minute. My face drops as I turn on my heels and follow them around the corner.
“He’s coming; he’s coming,” Curly Hair whispers loud enough for the table behind them to hear.
Izzy looks up at me. “H-hey, Matt. What’s up?”
“You tell me?” I narrow my eyes at her, before looking over at her friends.
“Not much,” she answers, pointing to her laptop. “Just doing a little editing. You know, for my YouTube videos. About all that nerd stuff. You ever seen it?”
My mouth gapes at her. Twisting my head to the side, both of her friends look like they’re about to faint.
“No. Never.” I cross my arms.
My answer seems to relax her, as she looks back at her computer. “Check it out some time. If you’re into that sort of stuff.”
“What like comics and stuff?”
“Yeah, all that stuff.” She smiles.
“It’s actually really good,” Cindy speaks up.
The banter back and forth is one thing, but now that her friend spoke up I can’t keep it down.
“I can’t believe you told them,” I whisper loudly over the table.
Izzy scowls at V, who shrugs apologetically.
“I’m sorry.” Izzy looks back over at me. “I was freaking out last week, and I had to tell someone.”
“So, what? You guys just decide to give me a nickname and laugh it up?”
“No one’s laughing, Matt.”
“Seriously,” V speaks up. “Matt, I’m sorry. I just blurt things out sometimes, and I saw you and … I’m sorry.”
“That’s just perfect.” I drop my voice lower. “And Hottie McFanboy? What the hell is that?”
“Sorry.” V raises her hand. “I just thought it up. I actually meant it in a good way.”
“How could that possibly be meant in a good way?”
“Well,” she twirls her curly hair in her fingers. “It’s just a play on Cindy’s nickname for you.”
“Veronica!” Cindy yells at her.
“Sorry!” Veronica cringes, raising her hands to her face.
I just stand there, shaking my head. This cannot be happening.
“Cindy’s nickname for me. Okay, let’s have it.”
They’re all blushing. Izzy the least, as she sits there shaking her head at her friends. And now that I’m staring down at Cindy, I can see she’s brighter than a tomato. She fidgets with her fingers on the table, her eyes never leaving them, as she mumbles something under her breath.
“What was that?” I ask.
She lets out a deep sigh, straining to raise her head up, but her eyes still not meeting mine. “President McHottie.”
I want to be mad. And I still am a little bit at Izzy for telling her friends about me. But the only reaction I can give is a bellowing laugh, throwing my head back as I grab my stomach. A few people turn around as I struggle to regain composure. For a brief second, I see Carter looking over at me, a huge cheesy grin on his face. I shake my head at him before turning my attention back to the girls.
“Okay. That one isn’t bad.” I smile.
“So glad you approve,” Izzy shoots back with the annoyance dripping from her words.
“Whoa.” I raise my hands. “I’m the one who should be mad, remember? Hey, Cindy and Veronica, was it
?” She nods. “You mind if I have a moment with Nerd Girl here?”
“Totally.” Cindy shoots out of her chair, dragging Veronica with her.
“You guys!” Izzy calls to them, but they’re gone within seconds.
Taking Cindy’s seat, I lean over the table, folding my arms. Izzy’s eyes find mine for just a moment, before they jump back to her laptop, fingers speeding across the keys. I know I need to say something, but I’m not sure what that something is. Then I remember why she said she had to tell her friends.
“So,” I drawl out. “I was making you crazy last week, huh?”
Her fingers freeze as her eyes look up at me. “That’s not how I said it.”
“But it’s what you meant.” I smile.
“Fine.” She closes the laptop, folding her arms over it and leaning over to the table, so our faces are just inches away. “If that’s what you want to think, you can think that.”
“I don’t think. I know.”
“Funny, I never knew you were this egotistical.”
“It’s not ego.” I raise an eyebrow. “When are you just gonna admit it?”
“Admit what?”
“That you like me.” I lean closer. “Because I like you.”
There, I said. I’m ninety-nine percent sure she likes me, but now it’s out there, so she knows for sure. No questions on the table about how I feel.
I watch her as her emotions seem to play out over her face. The slight blushing of her cheeks tells me she’s nervous, but her eyes roam from mine to my mouth, then back up. She bites her bottom lip, as a calmness seems to settle over her.
“Fine. I do like you, Matt. Are we done now?”
“What? No. Go to prom with me?”
“What?” She flinches.
My request catches me off guard too. I didn’t expect myself to ask her that, but I can’t pass it up. I like her. I want to go out with her. And I want to take her to prom.
“Go to prom with me, Izzy.”
She stares at me, and everything on her face looks like she wants to say yes. That she’s going to say yes. Then she shakes her head. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because, Matt. You’re not comfortable with being who you really are, and that’s not okay with me. I wish I didn’t feel like that, but I do.”
I nod, looking down at the table. I can’t blame her. And as much as I want to be mad at the rejection, I can’t be. She’d go with me if I could just man up and be who I really am. But I can’t. Or maybe I don’t want to. I don’t know. What I can do is try to win her over, even if she won’t do prom with me.
“Okay,” I finally say. “You do owe me though.”
“For what?”
“For telling my secret.”
She looks at the table. “Fine. What’s the price? And don’t say prom.”
As bummed out as I am about the denied prom date, a smirk crosses my lips. I know something else I want. “You saw my nerd lair. I think it’s only fair I get to see yours.”
“You cannot be serious.”
“That’s the price.”
The bell rings for the end of lunch, but neither of us moves. I keep my eyes locked on hers, as she seems to try and stare me down to make me change my mind. After a full minute of silently daring to back off, she finally slumps her shoulders.
“Fine.”
“Awesome.” I jump up from the table. “Text me your address and I’ll GPS it. I’ll bring something to eat. Maybe we can make dinner and a movie out if it.”
“You are so funny,” she answers back without an ounce of humor in her voice.
“Yeah, I know.” I give her a grin, before walking away.
Chapter 21
Izzy
I debate if I should send Matt my address the rest of the day, but there is a part of me that wants to see his reaction to all my stuff. I wonder if he’ll try to act all cool, like at school, since he won’t be in the comfort of his own home. Or will he be as comfortable around me like he was before and examine all my figures and books like I’d done with his stuff? When the final bell rings, I make my way to the parking lot when my phone vibrates.
Matt: Come on, Nerd Girl. Pay up :)
Me: R u serious McFanboy?
Matt: It’s Hottie McFanboy
Me: I’m not calling u that
Matt: In general or to my face. Cuz I know you think it ;)
Me: Again with the ego
Matt: Just stating facts
Me: I have to film tonight
I reach my car when I hear his voice from behind. “Perfect. I’d love to how the sausage is made.”
“Matt.” I pinch the bridge of my nose.
As he leans against my car, he’s within smelling distance. And he smells good. I didn’t see any stuff in his room, so maybe it’s a body spray. Or cologne, probably an expensive one to keep up his presidential rep in school.
“Iz, come on.” His eyes burrow into me, as I try not to look back at him. I fail. Those dark hazel eyes pierce mine, and I consciously tell myself to take a deep breath.
“Why are you doing this? It’s not going to change anything.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But it is only fair, don’t you think?”
“My dad’s home. He works from home. It’s not like—” I snap my jaw shut.
“It’s not like what?” He leans in closer, smirking.
My mind races to what happened in his room. I tell myself I’m determined in sticking to my guns. That I’m positive he and I can’t be anything. But my mind wars with itself. Would I be okay with Matt being real as long as we’re alone, and being someone different around everyone else? While my mind debates, my body remembers his hands on me. His lips. Not only recalling the memories of that kiss but wanting a second round. I bite my bottom lip, looking down at my door handle.
“Nothing,” I whisper.
“So?”
He stares at me, that slight grin across his lips knowing I’m about to cave. If this were under normal circumstances, I might not be so conflicted with having him over. I mean, I’ve brought friends over before, and Veronica and Cindy are over all the time. I’ve even brought a guy home to meet my dad a couple times. But this isn’t like any of that. Matt has a secret, which I’m fine with if we’re just friends. But we aren’t just friends. I don’t know what we are. Then an idea hits me.
“Okay, fine,” I agree, making his smile spread from ear to ear. “But, you have to stay for dinner.”
“Done.”
“With my dad.”
His smile evaporates. “Excuse me?”
“Those are the terms. You want to see the sausage made; you gotta stay for dinner. We usually order pizza on Mondays.”
“With your dad?”
“Yeah,” I bat my eyes, smiling. Now it’s my turn to act like I don’t have a care in the world. “What’s the big deal?”
“Isn’t that like …”
“Like what?”
“You know … a boyfriend thing or something?”
“It can be.” I suppress a laugh. “I mean, I introduced him to my last boyfriend.”
His attitude suddenly shifts as he straightens his shoulders. “Your last boyfriend?”
“Yes, Matt. I have had a boyfriend before. Being Mr. President doesn’t mean you’re the only guy that goes out with the girls at our school.”
“I-I know that.” I have to bite my lip in order to not laugh at how self-conscious he gets.
“Don’t worry, I won’t introduce you as my boyfriend. Wouldn’t want the rumors to spread about you dating a nerd girl,” I tease.
“I wouldn’t care about those rumors.”
“That’s right. You’d only care if the rumors were about you.”
He tilts back, sending a groan into the air. “I thought we were past all this.”
“We are.” I smile, pulling out my phone. “Fine, here.” I send a text to him with my address. “How’s five sound?”
“Sounds good to me.” His grin
returns.
I start my car and pull out of the parking lot, wondering how I can be smiling today when last week I was balling my eyes out.
It’s only a few hours until Matt’s supposed to show up, but the time drags on forever. Getting home, I let dad know I invited a friend over who’s interested in how I make my videos. Hey, it’s partially true. He nods, as he works away at his computer desk, the multiple screens displaying different programs he’s running. He runs his own computer support business, so there’s always computers and computer parts all over his office.
Doing a quick sweep of my room, I organize my shelves and dresser. I’m not a neat freak, but I do try to keep things in order. Well, except for my desk, which is where I film and edit and have papers strewn about, post-it notes, and other pieces of scratch paper littered everywhere. I organize as best I can before doing one more scan of my room. I think back to Matt’s room, and how everything seemed to be in perfect order and I’d followed him home with no advance notice. Then again, he does have a housekeeper. Did she organize his figures and his desk and everything? I shake my head, trying to come to my senses.
Matt isn’t my boyfriend. As pleasant an idea as that is, he can’t be. He isn’t free to be who he really is, and that’s because of him. I pull my comforter over my bed, straightening it out. I wonder if we’ll end up on my bed the same way we ended on up his–No. Izzy, stop thinking about that. I turned him down to going out and to prom. I shouldn’t be thinking about kissing him again.
Only, the thing is, I do want to go out with him. I was so shocked when he asked me to prom I nearly blurted out yes right then and there. But going with him, being with him, means I have to keep his secret. I’ll have to pretend he’s someone else. Someone who everyone in school thinks he is, when I just want him to be who I know he really is. How in the world the significant others of superheroes keep their secrets, I have no idea.
“Hey, Isabel?” my dad’s voice calls out, a tone that sets off alarms.
He usually calls me Iz or Izzy and only saves ‘Isabel’ for when I’m either in trouble or we have to have serious talks. I walk into the living room and see Matt standing by the door, looking more nervous than I’ve ever seen before.
