by Rebecca Dash
“Prudence is a lovely girl. I enjoy courting her.”
“It does not seem like it right now.”
“I enjoy it because it makes you rage behind your eyes. Even when you are quiet, I can see it there. And all the things she loves in me will only drive you mad. The more she wants me, the more you must wonder why. What sort of life could it be? What will she escape into? It has to be better than being mistreated by your drunk brother.”
“Have you no allegiance to anyone?”
“My own desires. I admit it with pride. And soon, you will imagine you could have the same life that Prudence wants with me. So much so that there will be no choice but to accept what I am offering or it will tear you apart.”
Amelia was as stunned as if someone had struck her. That might have been kinder. At least it would be direct. She did not even know how to respond to this.
James smiled and moved closer again. “Is it happening already? Do you want to be your sister? Did you make a mistake?”
The poker was slack in her hand. She stood there, frozen as he approached, staring at his lips when he said it.
“I have not truly tried to court you yet.” James was only feet away. “Don’t you wish I would?”
Those words sent a jolt through her body and Amelia tightened her grip on the weapon and swung it right in front of him. James jumped back.
“Are you touched in the head?” she shouted. “You send my brother into fits of drink. You court my sister to make me jealous. Then you tell me all about it?”
“I tell you because it is the most direct route to what I am after. Resist what you desire and your life can only crumble more. Agree to be with me and it all gets better.”
“What gets better, you scatter wit? You are a footman! One who cultivates intrigue as if he were a mad marquess. What I desire is for you to get out of my house.”
“You should rethink that, Miss Amelia.”
She took quick steps toward him with the fireplace poker and James ran to the door.
“I will be outside,” he said.
“You will be gone.”
“Set a place for me at dinner. I shall be back when my true love arrives, Miss Prudence Grant.”
“And if you have the nerve for that, I will not hesitate to tell her everything.”
“Which I will deny and Luke will believe. Prudence may fall where she likes. It should be fun to find out which way that is.”
“Get out!”
Amelia advanced more and James ran outside. She slammed the door behind him, then collapsed against it, breathing heavily. Pressure had built behind her eyes. She glanced into the kitchen. The rabbit was burning on the spit. She ran back inside.
***
Dinner came too soon. Amelia dreaded it. They all sat around the table, eating together.
“This rabbit is burnt black,” said Luke.
“It is difficult to find a woman capable of excellence,” said James. “Most make poor decisions in the kitchen and in life.”
“I hope you are not referring to me,” said Prudence.
“Everyone but you, Miss Grant. And of course, Mrs. Grant, as well, is excepted. That does not leave room for anyone else, I’m afraid.” He looked directly at Amelia when he said it.
She had lost control of her own home. James was right. No one would be on her side if she told them. Luke was right too. The rabbit was burnt beyond repair. Prudence would not stick up for her sister with her suitor at the table. And Mrs. Grant had been quiet all day. Amelia ate her poorly made dinner in silence. Everyone could say what they wanted about her. Nothing mattered anymore.
Chapter 9
When Amelia arrived at the orchard, it was much later at night than she would normally travel. She had to be there. It was an escape, almost as addictive as a true run for freedom made by prisoners. Her home had become a prison to her. She brought a torch, even though the moonlight was strong enough to make out shapes in the darkness to guide her way. None of her family ever went to the orchard, even by day. They were too wrapped up in their lives to travel outside its own boundaries. She wondered if the lack of random beauty caused all their misery.
Amelia walked on the path through the apple trees. Owls were hooting peacefully. She decided to quit thinking about everything that made her hurt. All that existed was nature around her... And a curious light in the distance. She stopped to watch it moving, bouncing up and down on the other side of the orchard. Then it stopped too.
Amelia walked again, and the light changed direction, going the same way she was. It had to be a lantern in someone’s hand. The color drained from her face as her heartbeat sped up. Lord Thoram had told her of the problems they had with thieves going there to steal apples. She quickened her pace. Perspiration formed on her neck. The man with the light moved faster too and was coming straight toward her now. There was nowhere to hide in the orchard and she had to get out. Amelia ran as fast as she could, straight down the path, toward the woods. If she could just make it there, where everything was overgrown and there were no paths to tread, she could duck behind something and be safe. Amelia glanced behind her, and the light was catching up. He was running faster, even though she could hardly catch a breath anymore. If a man would steal at all, what else might he do? Did he have a pistol or a sword with him to enforce his wicked machinations?
Finally, she reached the woods. He was behind her, following the torch. She had to put it out to have any hope at all of surviving. The ground was still wet from a recent storm. That would help. Amelia pushed the torch into the mud, rolling it around until the flame got low and then extinguished into wisps of smoke rising in the air. She tried to go deeper into the forest, but it was unfamiliar, especially by night, and that light was getting closer. There was a tree with many branches, that looked easy enough to climb, even though she hadn’t done that since she was a child. Amelia put her foot on the trunk, reached to grab the lowest branch, and pulled herself up. She kept climbing until the branch she stood on was well over a normal man’s head. She would have kept climbing until she got to the top, but his footsteps smacked into wet earth, and if she could hear him, then he would hear her too if there was any noise.
Amelia stayed as still as she could on her perch, trying not to even breathe. His footsteps got closer until the light was right beneath her. She couldn’t see him clearly through the branches and the dark. It was a tall man with a lantern. That was all she could make out. He turned slowly, surveying the woods for any sign of movement. An owl flapped its wings, and he looked up, holding the lantern high. Amelia would be seen if she stayed there. Her legs shook. There was nothing left to do but fight. She didn’t think about it because that might have stopped her. She jumped instead, cool air speeding by her for a moment before landing hard on his back. He fell forward, grunting as he slammed to the ground with her weight on top of him. Amelia shoved his face into the mud. He tried to get his hands planted to push himself up. She took off her bonnet with its long, blue ribbons, pulled his arms behind him and tied the wrists together tightly. Everything worked. She was still alive. Amelia slid off him, crawling, then springing up into a run.
“What in blazes is going on here?” he shouted.
She stopped running, closed her eyes hard, and gritted her teeth. The voice was familiar. She was more afraid to turn around than she had been of the thief.
“Are you going to give me an explanation, Miss Amelia?”
“Oh, my word.” She hesitantly turned to him. “You recognized me so quickly, Lord Thoram. I can hardly see a thing in this light.”
He had managed to sit up by then. “I knew who you were the moment you were on my back. You are the only one who would have the audacity to do it.”
“I am so sorry. I thought you were a thief.”
“Of course,” he said, straight faced. “And your natural reaction was to leap out of a tree like some grim hobgoblin. That makes perfect sense.”
“I regret the whole thing. Are you hurt? I did no
t mean to injure you.”
“I am fine.”
“Let me help you free yourself.” She stepped toward him.
“Do not touch the ropes.”
“But I can…”
“No. You have done enough.” He was wriggling around, twisting his hands behind his back. “Why are you strolling around with a rope, anyway?”
Amelia covered her face with her hand. A moment later and he freed himself.
“Really?” he said. “You trussed me up with a blue bonnet?”
“It was the only thing I had.”
He sighed as he got up.
“I can get your lantern for you, at least,” said Amelia. “It is still lit.”
“This must be my lucky day.”
She got the lantern up from where it landed when they fell and handed it over. Amelia cringed as the light shone upon him.
“Oh dear,” she said. “You are all covered in mud and I am without a handkerchief to clean it with.”
He wiped his jacket with his hands. “I would need to leap into the Thames to get rid of all this mud.”
Amelia chuckled. “I am sorry. I do not mean to laugh.”
Thoram watched her for a moment before he cracked a smile, himself. It grew wider until he was laughing too. Even by lantern light, she could still see his eyes, clear and blue and beautiful. Leaf like shadows fell on his cheeks. In his muddied state, he was still as handsome as the first day they met. She placed her hands behind her back, trying to fight the compulsion to reach out and touch him.
“What an absurd situation!” he said. “Who goes around binding thieves with bonnets?”
“I can recommend it, sir. I would have been halfway home by the time you got free.”
“I was too busy choking on soil to even chase you.”
Amelia hadn’t laughed so hard in a long time. She was in love with everything about it. There was no way for her to tell what provoked such strong emotion. It may have been that kiss, the company, or the smile on her face. It may have been that she desperately needed to kiss him again. She had forgotten what it was like to feel so good.
“I missed this,” she said.
“You never came back to the orchard again.”
“I wanted to.”
Thoram shook his head. “But you never did. I used to walk the grounds here every day, waiting for you.”
“Are you still waiting?” She smiled, uncertainly.
He didn’t answer right away. Amelia’s body felt heavy, like the end of the world.
Thoram looked at the orchard, then back at her. “The night we met, I was going to keep riding. I intended to leave here.”
“For how long?”
“Months, years, the rest of my life. I do not know.”
Amelia was stunned. “But you will be duke.”
“I will be the man I need to be. That is all you ought to require of anyone. Perhaps it should be a duke, perhaps not.”
“Why would anyone turn away from the title?”
“Do you ever feel restless?”
“All the time.”
“Some people look down that road beyond the orchard and happily travel to their destination and back again every day for their entire lives,” he said. “I look at it and wonder where the road leads. Where does it go when it becomes another road, and then fields, and water, and cities beyond? I have traveled with my family, but always while playing the role. I have only known the world I was born into, with its lavish balls and scandals. This has left me with no idea whether I want it to be my life or not. The only way to ever find out is to leave everything behind. Perhaps find a place where no roles exist.”
“Why stay so much longer then? Months have gone by since that night.”
“I stayed for you. To see what would become of us.”
Her heart flooded with emotion. Amelia had no idea how to respond. Thoram was a man of infinite means and capability, a man so much more incredible than she could ever be. She never expected him to feel that way about her. She never imagined they could be so alike. They were both bound by familial circumstances and duty. Amelia often felt as though her life was falling down around her and she was trapped in the remains of it. Like that chubby mouse in her parlor, struggling to survive any way it could. The only wonderful part of her day was Thoram. Each time they met in the orchard, she felt their love blossom more.
“But that was not to be,” he said. “I am leaving for Sidmouth in a few days. I have already arranged for accommodations by the sea.”
Amelia felt an ache in the back of her throat. “Is that where your destiny lies?”
“It is as good a place as any to start looking.”
Stay. She wanted to say it so badly. But how could she ask him to stay for her again? There was nothing a farm girl could offer a man born to nobility.
“I am grateful that I got to see you tonight,” she said. “But I must head back home. It is far too late already.”
“I am grateful for seeing you as well. Until the next time we meet, Miss Amelia.”
“I hope you find what you are looking for in Sidmouth.”
She made it halfway through the sentence before her voice cracked and tears welled up in her eyes. Thoram reached out for her, but it was too late. Amelia had already turned away. She ran back through the orchard she enjoyed so much, unwilling to let him see her cry, heartbroken from the news.
***
The run home was a blur. Amelia could hardly see through the tears. She got there by instinct alone, then hesitated at the front door. Voices came from inside. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself down, and wiped at her cheeks with her hands. There was no way to get the mud out of her dress, so smoothing it would just have to do. As long as she went right up to her room without much conversation, everything would be fine.
Amelia turned the knob ever so slowly and opened the door. Maybe if she was quiet, no one would even notice her come in. The house was dark enough to slip by, with only the fireplace lit. A chair slid across the floor and someone ran toward her before she even got all the way in.
Prudence hugged her, excitedly. “I have such wonderful news!”
Amelia forced a smile for her.
“Is something wrong?” said Prudence.
“I am just tired. It has been a long walk, and I lost my torch.”
Someone else walked toward them, steps falling heavy on the floor.
“What an odd thing to lose,” said James. “How on Earth did that happen?”
Amelia frowned. The mere thought of him made her blood coil into iron rods. To see him was much worse. She hated the man. The fact that he was courting her sister was disgusting to her.
“Fancy seeing you in my house at this hour,” she said. “Alone with my sister, no less.”
“All perfectly innocent, Miss Amelia. We were just sitting and talking by the fire. Everyone else has gone to bed. I had to stay so we could tell you the news together.”
“What news?”
Prudence could not contain herself. “We are now engaged to be married!” she said, her face pink as peaches.
James had a smug look to him. “Aren’t you going to offer us congratulations?”
Amelia felt like she was about to be sick.
Chapter 10
It was a chilly afternoon. The river ran fast, splashing against the grass that lined the bank. Amelia lost track of how long she had been standing there, watching the water move. She hardly noticed when Luke stood beside her. He watched the water too. A long time passed before either of them spoke.
“Are you all right?” he said.
“I am afraid the latest tragedy has taken a toll on me.”
Luke smiled. “Is that what you would call it? I am guessing that Prudence feels differently.”
“Prudence has been blinded. By what qualities, I do not know. But she is engaged to a cad.”
“I do not think James is fit to marry either of you. In fact, most days I do not find he is fit for
society.”
Amelia chuckled. There was the brother she knew and loved. He was still in there somewhere. And he was as unenthusiastic about the impending matrimony as she was.
“He is just using her,” said Amelia. “To get to me.”
Luke nodded. “That may be.”
“Why not put a stop to this? You could.”
“Prudence has always been headstrong. She insisted that she wanted to be a farmer. If she insists that she wants to be married now, let her have it. The mistakes are her own.”
A red frog with black spots hopped through the grass. A gust of wind came so suddenly that Luke held on to his wide-brimmed straw hat. Amelia crossed her arms for warmth.
“I really do not fancy the idea of having him as a brother-in-law,” she said.
“Nor I.”
They stood by the river for a while longer, contemplating what had become of their family.
***
Luke and James stood beside the long counter of the public house. There were no seats, but it was comfortable enough to lean. They sipped their ale, but drank the gin faster. There was nothing of any importance to look at in the room. It was crowded and stuffy. No gentlemen went there. It was a place to be drunk in and little else.
“This place has not changed at all,” said Luke.
“A good drinking establishment does not need to.”
Luke glanced around. “An establishment, at any rate. I do not think the prince regent will be showing up any time soon.”
“And we would not have him here, Mr. Grant. This is a place for less gentle folk.”
“It is no wonder that my sister thinks you will not be serving the duke for long.”
James finished his gin, then slammed the glass down on the counter. His face stiffened. “Which sister would that be? Let me guess. It sounds very much like Miss Amelia’s sentiments.”
Luke laughed. “Do not be angry. I only meant that it is funny to hear you speak like that about Prinny, considering you have given your life over to service.”
“And I do a fine job at it, no matter what she thinks.”
“I am sure you do. Her opinion is not important.”
