Dark Love (The Two Sides of Me Book 3)

by Garcia, Amy

  “Do I know you?”

  “You know me, everybody knows me, don’t they?”

  I’m not exactly sure who she’s talking to here. The first part of that sentence was aimed at me, but the second part was directed at the empty space beside her. She’s delusional; ok what the hell did they teach us in nursing school about dealing with psych patients? Damn, I wish I’d paid closer attention. Who knew it would be so important someday?

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t know your name, will you tell me?”

  “Queen Bridgett, of course. You should go home. Take your light, take it home. You ok?”

  Wow, ok, I’m getting out of here. I stand on wobbly legs and step sideways and then backward, never turning my back on her until I reach the sink. She continues to look at me with her absent eyes. She’s here, but she’s not. I reach behind me and turn on the cold water and stick my wrist under the flow to cool myself off. I’m sure I’m a hot mess. I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror behind the crazy smoke lady and see that I’m covered in hives from crying, pale and disheveled.

  “I’m going to leave now.” I figure if I announce it she may think I’m taking her advice to go home. It’s not necessary, though, she strikes up a conversation of nonsense with someone else, someone I can’t see. I take advantage of her distraction and slip past to the door, leaving her chatting away with her imaginary friend.

  Now I need to get past David’s room without him seeing how upset I am. I want to be safely behind the door to Evan’s room. Gabriella thankfully steps into the hall at that exact moment. She looks both ways down either end of the hall before she spots me.

  “Mia? Oh, honey!” Blessedly she meets me half way and wraps her arm around my shoulder leading me back to the room past David.

  I drop my head just enough so that my hair protects my face from his line of sight, and I’m safe. Damn, who knew a trip to the bathroom would be so eventful! I’m staying right here from now on; I just won’t pee or brush my teeth ever again!

  “Mia, what happened? You’re a mess, and you’ve been gone a long time!” I suddenly realize that Gabriella should know about my plan to deal with David, but only her.

  “I went to see David.”

  She stiffens and drops her comforting arm from my shoulders.

  “You what?!!”

  “Listen, Gabby, I have a plan and I want to let you in on it, but you have to swear and promise on a pile of bibles you won’t breathe a word of this to anybody, not even Simone.”

  “I knew you wouldn’t leave this alone. I think that’s one of the reasons my brother loves you, you’re a shit-disturber, just like he is. What kind of trouble are we getting into?”

  “The kind that’s going to save Evan’s life.”

  “So can I trust you? You won’t tell anyone?”

  “Mia, I would like a little more information before I go swearing on a stack of bibles, as you put it, and, of course, you can always trust me.”

  “Ok, so let’s step over here.” I hitch my thumb toward the furthest corner of the room and hopefully out of his earshot. I lower my voice to a whisper and lean in close to Gabriella’s face. “Evan has to have that surgery, and David is best one to do it. Apparently, everyone is scared to operate on him.” I stop to glare at her. I know she’s been keeping all the mob shit to herself, and she may as well know it pisses me off.

  She averts her eyes, looking anywhere but at me, but I keep talking. “David is willing to do the surgery, well; he will be because he’s…” I pause and make sure my back is fully turned to Evan before I mouth the words “in love with me.”

  “Oh for heaven’s sake!” She rolls her eyes clearly exasperated with me.

  “Shhhh!”

  “Mia, that man is in love with you and you’re willing to let him cut open your husband’s brain? He could easily kill him! What is wrong with you? David will never do it, and Evan will never let him.” She crosses her arms across her chest daring me to come up with a solution to her proclamation, so I do.

  “He can hear you, ya know,” I remind her.

  “And there is nothing wrong with me; I was trying to tell you I have a plan. First of all, yes, David has a thing for me. I don’t know how deep those feelings are, and I’m positive he’s a stalker, from what he said to me this morning. I’m going to make him believe that I’m leaving Evan for him but with one condition, he has to do the surgery, and I have to know Evan’s ok before I’ll go. When it’s all over, and Evan is fine I’ll back out, he’s going to be pissed as hell, but that’s the beauty of it!

  Gabriella looks skeptical, still holding her arms across her chest, but now she’s tapping her foot in irritation and whispers “Mia, this isn’t going to work. David might be a loon, but he’s also a doctor. He won’t be stupid enough to fall for that. He’s going to know you’re going to let him fix Evan up and then dump him.”

  “Ahh, that’s where you’re wrong, what’s one thing that reassures a man that he’s won a woman’s heart? Besides sex.”

  She drops her arms in frustration “I don’t know, what?”

  “Marriage.”

  Gabriella begins to turn away from me, takes one step and then returns, eyes wide she hisses, “You can’t marry him, you’re already married!”

  “Exactly. He doesn’t know that though. If he believes the surgery is a distraction so that we can sneak away together while Evan is unconscious in post op, then he might just go for it. He can’t let him die because the mob will kill him, and it will be one of my stipulations that he is left in good condition. I’ll tell him I don’t want any bad feelings between Evan and me in the future. ”

  Realization reaches her eyes, but I know she still has her doubts. “He can’t marry me when I’m already married. It won’t be legal, and I wouldn’t let a real minister do it, of course.”

  “Have you considered that you will have to let him touch you, kiss you, spend time with you before he actually marries you, Mia? It won’t be very believable if you don’t.”

  That is the part I don’t want to think about and have tried very hard to ignore, but yes, it’s a possibility. “And how are you going to convince Evan to go along with all of this if he wakes up?”

  “When…when he wakes up, Gabby. And I’ll tell him the plan, he can read my damn mind, if I try to lie to him, he’d know.”

  “Well then, there you have it. You may as well ax that plan right now because he will never in a million years go for that.”

  “I think he will.”

  She shakes her head back and forth, “Uh-uh, no way, never.”

  “He hurts me when the other part of him takes over, Gabby. It kills him knowing that, and if we didn’t both know better, we would just break this off for my protection. But we can no more do that than breathe water. If I put it to him that way, how can he say no? He needs this surgery. He will go permanently blind, his memory will deteriorate, the pain will increase and he could die. I can’t watch that happen, I won’t, not without a fight.”

  She reaches out with one arm to draw me into a hug. “Ok, just tell me what I have to do.”

  “Evan needs to wake up, and I’ll keep working on David. He’s getting better. I don’t know if he will be in the ICU much longer. I think he’s still here because he takes cases in this hospital occasionally, and administration is showing some favoritism. I have to get close fast before he gets discharged. I’m not leaving Evan alone in this hospital, so David needs to think I’m all in, like now. I need you to go see him on your way out. Just stop by casually, but then lay it on him that I’m considering leaving Evan now that I know about his association with the mob and his past. Tell him I just can’t take it, it’s too much, but I’m afraid to leave, that I think he has someone watching me, and they won’t let me go.”

  “Ok, but where I am supposed to stand in all of this? He’s my brother; won’t he be suspicious that I’m telling him all of this?”

  “He’s never me
t you, though. I mean, I’m sure he knows who you are. It seems like he’s pretty informed about anything to do with me and Evan. But he doesn't know if you support the relationship or not. Just tell him you have wanted to tell me about Evan’s past for a long time because you know about Evans past. You worry about me and that you’re so glad he finally had the strength to tell me. Make him feel like a big fucking hero or something. I don’t care, just make it believable. Then I’ll go and see him again later, take him some food or something and reiterate everything you’ve told him.”

  She takes a big breath and blows it out puffing her cheeks. “Ok Mia, I really hope you know what you’re doing. And I’ll play along but only if you swear you’re telling Evan when he wakes up. Your mind isn’t the only one he reads, that man knows everything.”

  For the first time all afternoon, I smile. “Yes, it seems he does.”

  We spend the rest of the afternoon and evening planning tomorrow’s Christmas celebration. I can hardly stand knowing my family is here, so close, staying at Evan’s…our house. Simone has stopped by to check in on us this afternoon. So has Isaac, who brought us dinner before going back to Dominus to handle things there. I feel guilty that he is shouldering all of the burdens of the business, but I simply don’t know enough to be of any help yet.

  As we sit together and eat, it dawns on me that nobody else can know we are married here, just in case. I can’t have the staff mentioning it to David on accident.

  “Gabby, who all knows Evan and I are married?”

  “Just you two, the lawyer, Simone and I. Why?”

  “Nobody can know if we are going to pull this off. People need to think I’m still single. The nurse this morning called me Señora Lawson, it took me by surprise. How did she know?”

  “She must have just assumed, we haven’t told anyone. You are wearing a huge wedding rin…hey!” She automatically glances at my left hand. “Where are your rings?!”

  “In my pocket, I had to take if off when I saw him earlier today.”

  “Well, you had better leave them there then. The nurses will talk if they haven’t already and who knows what they would say.”

  I chew on my bottom lip nervously. This could blow my whole plan. Please, God, don’t let anyone mess this up with loose lips.

  “You speak Italian, right?”

  “Yes, of course, we grew up here, silly.”

  “Ok, well keep your ears open when the nurses chat in the hall and can you tell Mona that it’s a secret? Just tell her we haven’t announced it to our family or something and to keep it quiet…”

  “Who’s Mona?”

  “The nurse from this morning, she’s the only one that has been kind to me since we got here. Oh! I almost forgot! I saw crazy smoke lady in the bathroom today before I visited…” I stop speaking. Evan can hear us, and he doesn’t know about my plan. I cock my head toward the door, and we abandon our empty plates and step into the hallway. “Before I visited David. Anyway, she is so gone. I mean, she’s really sick, somebody needs to have her committed or something.”

  “I thought so too. What did she say to you?”

  “More shit about my smoke, and she told me to go home, she couldn’t see my smoke. Whatever that means. Then she started mumbling to someone who wasn’t there. But she did tell me her name. Get this, she calls herself Queen Bridget!” She makes a facial expression that is so much like Evan’s it’s astonishing. They are twins, and they look a lot alike, but you can really tell they grew up together and were once close when you watch her face scrunch up in question, exactly like he does.

  “Queen, really? Yeah, you’re right. We need to report her and see who’s she's visiting here. They need to keep her in their room or have a shrink see her.”

  “Can you do that? Or translate for me so I can?”

  “No, I’ll do it, but no one administrative will be here until after the holidays.”

  “That’s ok, just watch out, she seems like she could be dangerous.”

  “Ok, you don’t have to tell me twice, she creeps me out.”

  “I had better get going. I need to go to the house and make sure everyone is settled and that they have everything the need, and I have to stop and talk to the dirty doctor.” Smirking, we both chuckle, even though it’s really not funny. He is a dirty meddling son of a bitch, but Karma’s also a bitch and I know he will get his eventually, they all do. I watch Gabriella gather her purse and coat; she drapes it over her arm. Before she leaves, she kisses Evan on the cheek and heads out the door.

  “Wish me luck.”

  “Luck.”

  She’s going to need a lot more than luck. Shit, I hope she has some acting skills. Dr. David Carter needs to believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I want him to want me.

  I’m worried, for all of the obvious reasons, but now I’ve added a few new ones to the list. What if the whole hospital already knows Evan and I are married? What if David saw my rings before I could get them off? What if he knows I’m trying to fool him into doing Evan’s surgery? What if he leaves before I get the chance to seduce him? What if Evan freaks the fuck out when I tell him what I’m doing? Or worse yet, what if he never wakes up to freak the fuck out? I need him awake; I need to talk to him.

  I wedge myself in next to him on the hospital bed to have another of my many one-sided chats. “You’re a bed hog ya know? I can hardly fit in here with you. We have a great big bed at home. If you open your eyes, I’ll bet the doctors would let me take you there. They would take that tube out of your throat. I could take care of you in your own bed, just like old times, remember? I could touch you, kiss you…everywhere.”

  His chest rises and falls in perfect rhythm, I lay my hand over his heart. “Your heart still beats. I feel it. I feel your presence, baby. I know you’re still here, I know you can hear me. I’m never giving up, I promise. I’m not leaving your side until you open those eyes of yours. I may never see the light of day again, ya know? This room doesn’t have a window, and I’m going a little stir crazy not knowing what’s going on out there. It’s your fault if I go mental; I’ll end up like that lady in the bathroom today. Remember her? I told you about her a while back. I hadn’t seen her for a while, but we…ran into each other again. She told me to go home, talking a bunch of gibberish to an imaginary person, nuts baby, she’s totally bonkers.”

  I have his arm wrapped around my waist, and I hold his hand. Lazily, I rotate between circling the tip of my finger on his palm and lacing my fingers with his. I give his hand an occasional squeeze. My imagination starts running amuck, and I swear I feel him try to move his fingers. Then the realist in me brushes it off as wishful thinking.

  Shit, I want him back so bad now, my mind is playing tricks on me. It will be Christmas in a couple of hours; I’m sleeping here with him tonight. “I want to wake up in your arms on our first Christmas together as a married couple, actually our first Christmas as any kind of couple,” I tell him and snuggle down into the crook of his arm to sleep with my hand still holding his.

  A couple hours later, I’m awakened by the alarm of Evan’s IV beeping. I release my grip to reach for his call light and cringe at the stiffness in my hand. Before I can press the button, a nurse bustles in and quiets the pump. I smile at her, but I’m met with askance and instantly I miss the kind eyes and tender bedside manner of nurse Mona I hope Christmas is her scheduled holiday, having her here would make things so much nicer. I roll out from under Evan’s arm and leave his warm side to appease the nurse and to get officially ready for bed. Remembering my family is at the house I text my mom a quick note saying goodnight and that I’m excited to see them all tomorrow, or today actually, as its past midnight. She is probably still awake; her internal clock must be completely off from traveling so far and sleeping on the plane as I’m sure she did. My mother suffers the worst motion sickness of anyone I’ve ever known. She would have had to be medicated for the flight. I’m right, she texts back immediately. I’m
so excited to hear from her that I skip my bedtime ritual and crawl into the cot with my phone while nurse cranky pants finishes up with Evan. I’m getting back in bed with him when she leaves; I couldn’t care less what she thinks.

  I can’t sleep in this mansion, it’s spooky here Mia, how do you stand it?!

  My mother’s text doesn’t surprise me; she’s kind of a wuss when it comes to scary movies, haunted houses, or anything supernatural. I’ll admit, Evan’s house is freaky at night with all of the shadows and old world décor. I should have warned her.

  Sorry, I noticed it too when I went to the kitchen in the dark for water, I didn’t think to tell you. I’m so happy you’re here, can’t wait to see you all tomorrow!

  The last thing I want to think about is that damn night I made the monumental mistake of going after a simple bottle of water. We wouldn’t be in this situation if I had just taken my ass to bed! My phone pings when mom responds.

  I am too honey, it feels like you have been gone forever. Your dad is scolding me for keeping you up, I’ll see you in the morning and I expect a full report on everything that’s been going on while you’ve been away, oh dad says hi and he loves you too.

  God, I miss my mom and her meddling ways. I just wish I had something good to “report”. As it is, I’m going to have to make a bunch of shit up. In fact, I had better get my story straight before morning, so she doesn’t catch me in a lie. I shoot her a quick “I love you both.” text and cross the room to close the door so I can change.

  Once in my cotton sleeping pants and tank top, I brush my teeth without paste, so I don’t have to go down the hall to the bathroom at this hour. If I have to pee before the sun comes up, I’ll just have to hold it. That’s a skill I perfected long ago from working twelve-hour shifts on my feet as a nurse. Lucky for me, I have a king-sized bladder.