by Garcia, Amy
“No! I’m not leaving them together, Mom! Let me go!” I scream alerting the nurses that there’s a problem brewing. I yank my arm free of my mother’s clutch whirling around I see Evan’s eyes roll back into his head, and he collapses in a heap on the floor at David's feet.
“Evan!” I scream and throw myself on my knees sliding across the floor to him.”
“Help! We need help; he’s seizing!!” Nurses flock to the area, and David takes a step back allowing them to work. My breath catches when I see the smallest hint of a smile lifting the corners of his mouth, this was intentional. He knew if Evan saw him trying to take me away from him it would push him over the edge; he was even willing to take another beating to make it happen. My mouth drops open, and I stare in shock as Evan is turned onto his side convulsing, and David slips his hands into his pockets, standing back to watch with satisfaction.
I splay my hands on the cold tile of the ICU floor and with every bit of strength left in my reserve, I push myself to stand and go to David surprising him by leaving my possibly dying husband’s side during a crisis. Somehow I’ve collected the composure to speak instead of scream. Harnessing my anger and using it to deliver a message to David, I plant myself in front of him and lift my top lip in disgust while I begin.
“You did this. I know you did. I’m not sure why you think you need to interject yourself into my life, but you have so let me tell you what’s gonna happen right here right fucking now, Dr. Carter. You are going to go have an OR prepped, organize the people you need to do Evan’s surgery, and save my husband's life.” A tiny sign of shock crosses his eyes before he folds his arms across his chest and sneers at me.
“Why in the hell would I do that? He’s going to die anyway, Mia, let him go now and come home with me. He doesn’t deserve you and you know you’re not safe with him. And you’ve married him? Even better, you’ll be a filthy rich widow.”
Shaking my head back and forth violently I can barely restrain myself from strangling this crazy man to death with my bare hands. I feel them moving Evan from the floor to a gurney behind me while I speak to David.
“I would rather live the rest of my life in fear than go anywhere with you. And listen close because this is the reason you’re going to do as I say. I am a rich woman now; you got that right, and Evan has a very long reach with the Norgnhenta, you know them?” I screech my unnecessary question; he knows who I’m talking about, everybody here does. “One of the top five most powerful criminal organizations in the world?” I’ve been doing my homework, and I know much more about the mafia Evan is connected to and David should be on his knees begging for forgiveness, he obviously has no idea what he’s really dealing with. He knows it’s bad, but the fact that he thinks he has a chance with me proves he’s ignorant of the seriousness of the danger he is in.
I poke my finger harshly into his chest for emphasis before I lay the rest of this on him. “Mr. Saint and Isaac are on their way here to celebrate Christmas with our family. I’m going to tell them to notify the other leaders of the Norgnhenta that you’ve caused Evan’s death. You won’t even make it off the ICU unit alive, Dr. Carter. They are ruthless professional killers, and I’m blowing the whistle on you if you don’t save my husband. Don’t get any ideas about killing him on the operating table either, do your very best work. Do it like your life depends on it, because it does.” I spit the last words at him on my tip toes as close to his face as I can stand to be.
I wait. It sinks in. He begins to realize the difficult position he’s in. Dropping his arms to his sides the blood drains from his face.
“Norgnhenta? That’s the mob he is involved with?” He’s gone from snide to scared straight, exactly what I wanted.
“He’s actually the leader of his family’s branch, he can’t remember it, but they all do. Family is everything to these people; you fuck with family it’s signing your own death certificate.”
“Ah ok..ok, I’ll do it.”
“And you’ll make sure he comes out of that OR healthy and tumor free right?” I nod my head curtly, beads of sweat are forming on his lip as the fear takes hold. Good. Fear is one of the best motivators. I was almost afraid he wasn’t going to be sane enough to be scared, but thankfully he’s about to piss his pants. He knows I’ve got him by the balls.
“Of course, yes, he’ll be fine,” he assures me.
“Get on it then.”
He turns to speak to a nurse who has been working with Evan, quietly he informs her of the need for extra staff and an OR. To say she looked shocked was an understatement; the staff knows what’s happened between Evan and David. They also know who Evan is, or who he used to be. I can’t believe I just did that. I feel like a mob wife, and technically I am, but none of what I just told David can be backed with actions by myself. I have no authority as his wife, and I can no more put a hit on David than remove Evan’s tumor from his brain. But Mr. Saint could, and so could Isaac. I’m sure the only thing holding them back was the fact that David hadn’t recovered enough to do such a rigorous procedure.
Shit, I hadn’t thought about that, he’s still in pretty bad shape. I can’t believe they were going to discharge him today. He’s going to have to figure it out, draw strength from deep down inside himself to endure hours on his feet. If he hadn’t fucked with Evan in the first place, this wouldn’t be happening. I guess I should be thankful David is crazy. Finally, Evan is getting the surgery he needs.
“How Long Will I Love You” by Ellie Golding
Gabriella holds my hand tight as Evan is wheeled by us on his way to surgery. “Wait, please just a second.” I blurt and grab ahold of the rail on the gurney slowing the nurses down. I lean in to quickly kiss him and whisper “I love you; you go, I go… don’t forget that.”
“We need to go, Mrs. Lawson, they’re ready for him,” a very non-Italian woman says from behind me. Evan isn’t conscious; I doubt he would allow the surgery to proceed if he knew it would be David cutting into his head. “I’m Dr. Carters nurse, Kelly; I’ll be with your husband during the surgery, and I’ll come out with updates when I can. I’m told you’re familiar with the procedure, is that correct?” She is very formal and stiff, I wonder if this is normal for her or if the situation has her uncomfortable.
“Yes, Dr. Carter has gone over it with us in depth.”
“All right then. And he says you’re an ICU nurse as well?”
“Yes, in the States.”
“Good. I will come out as soon as time allows. If you have any questions or concerns in the meantime please ask the staff.” She begins to turn and leave as abruptly as she arrived, but I reach out and lightly touch her shoulder, Kelly looks back silently, and I send her a message with my eyes. “Dr. Carter will do all he can.” She understands.
“Make sure of it,” I say my voice full of venomous threat.
“He will. I have family I’d like to return to in Seattle; your husband will be fine.” I drop my hand in relief, she really does get it. Evan better come out of surgery spewing rainbows, and glitter or nobody in that OR will be safe ever again. I watch through tear-filled eyes as the other side of me is wheeled away with Evan.
We are two halves of a whole that can’t survive without the other. My vision blurs and I close my eyes tight wrapping my arms around my body. Isaac’s strong arms are around me instantly, I know it’s him simply from the pure smell of his soap. I’ve been holding strong up until this point, but now I just let it all go and sob into his chest, he shushes me and tightens his hold.
After what feels like a lifetime, Isaac pushes me away gently holding the tops of my arms. “We need to go to the waiting room and be with your family.”
“Our family.” I correct him. I consider Isaac family as well as one of my best friends.
“Ok.” He offers me a small sad smile and turns me to face the door that exits the pre-op area, his arm over my shoulders.
“I hear you’re quite the bad ass mafia wife.” He chuckle
s
“Shut up, Isaac. I had to do something; that fucker was leaving the country, and Evan was going to check himself out of the hospital tonight too. Stupid men. Figures I would have to straighten all this shit out myself.”
“I know, honey, I’m glad you did. I just hope he makes it, I don’t feel like murdering anyone today.” He’s joking with me, but I’m curious to know if my threats would be carried out if it were necessary. I look up at his chiseled jawline covered in five o'clock shadow and momentarily appreciate what a handsome man I have for a best friend.
“Don’t tease about things like that. But, would you…or Mr. Saint…” I stutter and can’t finish, but Isaac’s face darkens turning very serious.
“We already have people in place. If they hurt so much as a hair on his head when he comes out of the operating room that doctor is dead.”
I gasp. What did you think, dummy? Of course they would follow through, I just don’t like that the order technically originated with me. Never mind, positive energy is what we need. No one is going to die today, not Evan or David or Kelly.
My mother nearly knocks me off my feet when we enter the waiting room. “What’s going on?!” she demands
“He’s in surgery, mom, the surgery he was supposed to have before he and David got into the fight.”
“And he’s still doing it? Why would you..he can’t…”
“Mom it’s fine, Evan will be fine, he knows he can’t make any mistakes.”
She does not look convinced but what else is there to say? “Ok sweetheart, if you say so. How long will it take? Should I take the children home?” Mr. Saint stands from his seat in the row of waiting room chairs.
“I’ll take them to the house. Mrs. Galloway, you stay and be with Mrs. Lawson.” I cock my head back; he said that with such compassion and respect. Saint and I have never actually had words but the tension between us is always palpable, and I’ve never known why. Now I think I do. I’m in this forever; I’ll do anything it takes to help Evan, including putting a hit out on a doctor and nurse if they don’t make sure it happens.
Mr. Saint thought I was a phase, a fascination, just another woman vying for Evan’s wealth, prestige, and body. How he could believe that, after all, I’ve gone through I don’t know but obviously he’s accepted that I’m not going anywhere and that I truly love his boss. There must be more to their relationship then meets the eye.
We have had to deal with so much in our short time together that I’ve never delved into that history, later; we will have plenty of time later to talk about it.
“Oh yes please, that would be wonderful,” mom answers. “Sage, Kevin, would you like to go back to the house with the kids; Mr. Saint here has offered to drive you. The surgery is going to take a long time I expect.”
Sage looks at Kevin he nods and she answers our mother. “No, Kevin will go with the kids; I’m staying here with you.” Somehow I knew my sister wasn’t about to leave me and damn if I’m not grateful. I appreciate mom staying, but I don’t think I could handle her alone, her intentions are good, but she drives me bonkers with her bossiness and questions.
“Thanks, sis.”
“Can we take our toys with us?” Tanner asks tugging on the loop in my jeans.
“Of course little man, Evan gave those things to you, they’re yours.” I squat down on my haunches and hug him tight. Kylie joins us under my other arm not to be left out. God I would love to have children of my own with Evan. The fleeting thought brings a lump to my throat.
“Scoot now, go with your daddy, take all your stuff I’ll see you soon. I love you.” I kiss them both on the top of their perfect little heads and watch them trot off each taking one of Kevin’s hands. Mr. Saint follows dutifully, and I’m left with my parents, Isaac, and Gabriella.
“Where’s Simone?” He was here when Evan went down, but things have been so chaotic I haven’t kept track of him. Gabriella pats the seat next to her, and I sit appreciatively, glad to allow some tension to escape my body if only for a moment.
“He’s in the OR.” she answers
“What? With Evan?” A slow, sly smile spreads across her face
“Yes with Evan. He works here remember?”
“Fuck Gabby.” A little more tension leaves my muscles as I realize someone we trust and love is within feet of Evan while he is being operated on.
“Watch your language, Mia. Such a pretty girl shouldn’t use words like that; I didn’t raise you to talk that way.” My mom hates cursing especially in public; she knows I’ve got a foul mouth, and I think the circumstances call for a curse word or two.
“Mother nobody speaks English here; they won’t even know I’m swearing.” She purses her lips but relents, it’s not important right now and she knows it.
“I can’t believe I forgot he worked here. Thank you so much for asking him to be in there.”
“Oh I didn’t ask, he insisted. He said he would watch David’s every move, he will know if there is a problem and whose fault it is.” I lean forward with my elbows on my knees and think. How much do I really know about Simone? Could he be involved with Evan’s family as well? Is he the person assigned to manage the fallout if there is a problem? Shit does Gabriella know her boyfriend is part of a mafia? I sit up straight with these thoughts.
“Gabby, is Simone..?” She drops her eyes to her lap where she is fiddling with a loose thread on the hem of her sweater.
“Yes Mia, he’s involved. I don’t know exactly how deeply but he answers to someone of that I am sure.” So many new things to process. I sigh and drop my head back looking at the ceiling.
“Have you always known?”
“Yes. But I love him.”
“I know the feeling.” Dad is sitting on the other side of me, he takes my hand, the warmth and comfort of it are so calming I lay my head on his shoulder and reach for Gabby. Linked together we wait, these people love me, they love Evan and they will give me the strength to get through the next 10 hours.
Waiting is excruciating. After tiring of sitting I’ve paced, squatted, leaned against the wall and all around fidgeted and twitched myself until my father is at his wits end with me. He likes calm, and I am so far from calm.
“Sweetheart,” he lays a hand on my bouncing leg to stop my agitation, but I cut him off.
“I know, Dad, I’m sorry, I can’t help it. This waiting is miserable, it’s been 4 hours.” I whine
“I know, I wasn’t complaining, I almost forgot to give you this.” He lifts my hand from my lap and covers my palm with his. Cold metal slides into my hand, Evan’s chain and cross. I know before looking what it is, but this feels too much like an ending. I’ve never seen it removed from his neck, not even when he was my patient in Seattle. It always lay sparkling against the bronze skin of his chest or dangling near my face when he is above me, making love to me, tickling me, adoring me. I close my eyes and slip into a silent prayer cupping the cross inside my hands, begging God to deliver my husband to me healed, free of the tumor and most of all free from the evil sadist second personality that haunts us both.
Then I slip it over my head and drop the heavy cross inside my shirt. “The nurse gave it to me when you were…talking to him before surgery.” I’m thankful he didn’t speak the words
“Saying goodbye” I’m hovering on the edge of emotional disaster as it is, and I did not tell him goodbye, I will never tell him goodbye. Without opening my eyes, a tear from each one race quickly down my cheeks.
“Thank you, Dad.”
“Oh honey, I didn’t mean to upset you, I thought it would bring you some comfort.” I open my eyes and turn to him. “I know, Dad, but nothing will bring me comfort until I see him alive again.” He sighs deeply, and mom appears in front of me thrusting a nasty cup of hospital coffee in my face. I scrunch up my nose in distaste, but she jiggles it again.
“Take it, it’s terrible, but it will keep you awake.” She orders.
“Mom,
I worked the night shift for 10 years, I’m good with staying awake, but thanks.”
“Why hasn’t that nurse been into update us lately?” Mom is just as, if not more impatient than I am. An hour into surgery she was seeking out nurses and even the admitting staff asking for information.”
“It’s only been an hour since Kelly circulated, she’ll be back soon, mom.” Why am I comforting her? Didn’t she stay to comfort me? She’s a distraction, and that helps me rationalize my own concerns about the progress of surgery, so I guess without realizing she really is helping me. She huffs off to annoy another nurse; God, give that poor person strength. Gabriella has been and continues to be strangely calm, almost like she knows something I don’t. I move down a couple seats and across from her and realize she’s got her eyes closed and ear buds in listening to something. She senses my presence though and pauses the music looking up at me.
“How are you so calm?” I ask, and she removes the buds from her ears.
“Meditation.”
“With music?”
“No, Tibetan singing bowls.”
“Huh?”
“Have you ever meditated?”
“Uh, no. My life was pretty boring before I met Evan. I’ve never needed to meditate I guess.” She chuckles softly. Might not be a bad idea now though.
“Come sit next to me.” I move to the hard, uncomfortable seat that is attached to ten other hard, uncomfortable seats to sit beside her. “Here.” She passes me one of the buds, and I lean closer to her and press it into my ear. “Close your eyes and listen, try to block out any other thoughts.”
I give her a yea right look, but figure what the hell and close my eyes. The soft hum of a gong fills my head followed by a long drawn out bell wavering until its lost its strength and fades only to be repeated. This is nice. I feel muscles that I didn’t realize I was tensing loosen, and I take a deep breath and blow it out. I lay my hand on my chest where Evan’s cross is against my skin and try very hard to block out thoughts of him but instantly find that’s impossible. Even in the best of circumstances I couldn’t evacuate thoughts of my other half from my mind. He is part of me, and there is no blocking that part from invading every corner, every inch, every surface of what makes me…me.
