by Warren, Pat
There was probably a very good explanation, Megan decided as she placed the stacks of papers on his bed. She’d ask Alex first chance she got. On that thought, she went into the bathroom with her cleaning supplies.
Alex was in a good mood. He’d gotten everyone to sign on the dotted line and the agreements were in his briefcase. The financing was in the works, and as soon as that was completed, he’d send his first crew up to see about clearing the land.
Turning the Porsche into Delaney’s parking lot, he decided to try for that cozy dinner for two again tonight. Only this time, he’d clear it with Megan first, make sure she was free, then call for reservations. Whistling, he got out and went inside.
As usual, he found her in the kitchen lining up her baking things. He’d already decided that one of the first changes he would make was to persuade her to give up her second job of supplying baked goods to the Cornerstone. There were other changes he’d been mulling over, but they required more thought and planning. Knowing how touchy Megan was, he’d have to go slowly, be diplomatic.
“Hi there,” he said, moving to her. “How’s it going?” He leaned in and kissed her neck. “Mmm, you taste good.”
Megan had been deep in thought, but the moment he touched her, her heart fluttered. Would it always be so? she wondered. Turning, she went into his arms and rose on tiptoe to kiss him properly. In seconds, he had her all but purring. “Hello yourself. You look pleased. The deal went through, I take it.”
“Yes, indeed.” He locked his hands at her waist, leaned back. “I want to ask you a favor.” He saw the quick worry leap into her eyes and wondered if she’d ever lose that.
“And that is?”
“Tell Emily to get her cookies and muffins elsewhere. I don’t want you working so hard. If we’re going to be a team, I don’t want you exhausted every night.”
A team? What exactly did that mean? “Oh, I don’t think so. I can’t just abandon her. She counts on me.”
“She can count on someone else.” He had plans for her, and for Ryan. Big plans. But he had to initiate changes slowly so he wouldn’t overwhelm Megan. “There are other bakers, I’m sure.”
He’d distracted her with his kiss, with his request. But before they went any further, Megan needed a few answers herself. “Listen, I need to ask you something, too.”
Fortunately, the house was quiet. Grace had taken Ryan to the park and all of her guests had either checked out this morning or were gone for the day, except, of course, Mrs. K who was in the lounge. Megan wanted privacy for this discussion.
Slipping out of his hold, she reached for a sheet of paper she’d placed on top of the refrigerator. “I don’t want you to think I was snooping in your room. This was lying in plain sight on your bed, along with a lot of other papers. I was straightening up when something familiar jumped out at me.” She held the sheet out to him. “Neal’s name is on here, right above yours. Can you explain this?”
Alex’s heart stuttered. He’d waited too long, searched too hard for the best way to tell her. Now he’d have to just spit it out and he still wasn’t prepared.
“Let’s sit down,” he said, leading her to the table and taking the chair next to her, buying a few minutes to organize his thoughts. “I realize I should have told you the whole story a long while ago. I’m sorry now that I didn’t.”
Growing worried, Megan frowned. “What whole story?”
“Let me fill you in.” Alex shifted nervously in his chair. “You remember I told you that I had hepatitis C and that I had a liver transplant last year? Well, while I was in intensive care, I overheard two nurses discussing how my name had been moved to the top of the hospital’s recipient list even though another man had been scheduled to receive the next available liver.”
“How’d that happen?”
“My father’s well-known in San Diego, on the governing board of the hospital and a generous donor. He called in a few favors.” Alex held up a hand, forestalling her predictable reaction. “I know what you’re thinking, that he threw his weight around in favor of his son. And you’d be right, but I’d like to explain why. I’ve mentioned before that Dad lost his wife, my mother, after only fourteen years of marriage. And just two years before the doctors told me I might die if I didn’t get a new liver right away, my younger brother drowned. I was all Dad had left. I’m not excusing what he did, only explaining it. I also want you to know that I didn’t know anything about the switch until after it was a done deed.”
Megan was quiet, thinking over what he’d said. “You’re saying that, according to the list, Neal was scheduled for the next available liver, but your father twisted a few arms and you got it instead. Is that right?”
“Yes, that’s about it.”
“So when you showed up here, you already knew that this inn belonged to the man you replaced on the list and that I was his wife?” She seemed confused, uneasy, but not angry. Not yet.
“Yes. I felt I needed to see how you and Ryan were doing.” Nervous now, he ran a hand through his hair, wishing he’d gone through all this days ago, praying she’d understand at this late date.
“You knew about Ryan, too? How did you know where to find us?”
Alex swallowed hard. “I hired a private investigator to find out all he could about you and Ryan.”
Now her brows shot up. “Why? If this switch wasn’t your fault, why did you want to know more about us?”
“Because I felt guilty. Though none of it was my doing, I couldn’t help feeling guilty.” He dared to reach for her hand and found it cool and unresponsive. “I wanted to make sure you were both all right, financially and otherwise. I knew about Neal’s insurance so I thought you’d be debt free. Then when I got here, I learned that he’d borrowed on the policies and spent it all. I felt I should help.”
Megan felt icy fingers close around her heart. He didn’t love her after all, or Ryan, either. He felt sorry for them. She pulled back her hand, straightened her spine. “So you came to us out of curiosity and remorse, a guilty conscience, to atone for the sins of your father?”
Miserable now, Alex leaned forward. “It started out that way, I suppose. But in no time, I learned to honestly care for both of you.”
“Honestly? Nothing you did here was honest.” She let her anger build. Anger was so much easier to handle than hurt. Rising, she walked to the window, staring out unseeingly. “You don’t care about us. You pitied us, the poor overworked widow and the forlorn little boy who didn’t have a daddy to teach him baseball.” She turned sharply to face him, her eyes boring into his. “How could you do that to us?”
Alex stood, went to her, but didn’t touch her. “Maybe I wasn’t honest, Megan, but—”
“Maybe?”
His jaw clenched. “All right, I wasn’t honest about my reasons for coming here. But I didn’t pity you. I never felt that. I’ve been honest about my feelings for both of you. I just wanted to help and—”
“So you bought us a dryer and paid off my second mortgage, brought my first mortgage up-to-date. And you bedded the lonely little widow, even taught her a thing or two.” Heat moved into her face, whether from anger or a sensual memory, she wasn’t certain. “How you must have laughed up your sleeve at how eagerly I fell into your arms.”
“That’s not how I felt at all. Not then, not now.” He placed his hands on her upper arms, compelling her to listen. “You’ve got to believe me, Megan. I fell in love with you. And you must know how crazy I am about Ryan. I want to make a home together with the two of you. I want us to get married, to be a family.”
Eyes swimming with a myriad of emotions, with unshed tears, Megan just stared at him. Disappointment, anger, shock, feelings of betrayal—all had her reeling. “I wanted that, too, and that’s what hurts the most. I trusted you and you betrayed that trust as surely as Neal did with his infidelities. A love based on deception can’t last. You’d always look on Ryan and me as atonement, payback for getting the transplant Neal should have had.”
“I was afraid you’d blame me, and you do.” Wearily, Alex dropped his hands, tasting defeat.
“Not for the organ switch. That wasn’t your fault. But I blame you for building a relationship with me and with my son based on a lie. How could I ever trust you or believe you again?” Tears flowing down her cheeks, she was trembling now, scarcely aware of them.
No, this couldn’t be happening. “I never meant to hurt you, Megan. I wanted to tell you, I really did. I...I just couldn’t find the words.”
Gripping the counter with one hand, Megan stepped back. “This is what your father wanted you to tell me the day he dropped in, isn’t it? Yes, I overheard the two of you talking. Well, now I know. And now, you can go. Go back to your friends, the high-living, heavy-drinking good fellows you enjoy traveling the globe with. Take them out on your sailboat, pick up a bunch of women and have fun. Go find another playmate, like the blonde the three of you reminisced about yesterday. Good-time girls who won’t make demands on you, who don’t want love or commitment or those other mundane family things you’ve always run away from. Go find a woman who doesn’t have a little boy who hands you his heart, which you so carelessly break. Go to them, go anywhere, but just go.” Turning aside, she groped for a tissue.
“Don’t do this, Megan.” He wasn’t a man who asked, who pleaded easily, but he was doing both now. “Don’t throw away what we have. It isn’t easy to come by.”
Through her tears, she stared out the window and noticed the lone rosebush she’d been nursing back to health. It was drooping again because she’d been too busy to water it daily. She was like that rosebush, alone and struggling to survive. She’d gotten along before Alex Shephard and she’d get along after he went back to his privileged life. She needed no man or woman feeling sorry for her or her son. She and Ryan would be fine.
Megan turned to look at him. “No, something real isn’t easy to come by. Something fake often looks just as appealing on the outside, but when you peel back the layers, there’s nothing there but duplicity.”
“I never lied to you.”
“Lying by omission is still lying.” She rubbed a hand over her burning eyes. “But there’s no use debating this anymore. We never would have worked out together. You’re very rich, Alex, raised in a household of servants, probably more money at your beck and call than you can spend in one lifetime. Why, your father can even buy body parts for you.” She saw him flinch at that, but she was too hurt to stop now. “I’m a simple person, living a simple life in a simple little town. Whatever made me think we could live together happily? The only place we’re compatible is in bed, sad to say.”
A muscle in Alex’s jaw twitched from the tense way he was holding himself. She had a right to her anger, but she’d gone over the line and aroused his. “Don’t cheapen what we shared in bed. And don’t judge my father by that one deed. He’s a fine man, hardworking, honorable. And I’d venture to say he came from pretty much the same background as you. His father walked out on his family, too, which made Dad determined to make good, pretty much the same as you feel.” He gave a mirthless laugh. “I kind of feel the two of you would like one another.”
“We’ll never know, will we?”
Alex took two steps back and thrust his hands into his pants pockets because they itched to touch her, to hold her, to make her see somehow that this whole thing was a travesty. “I’ll go, Megan, but don’t think that things are over between us. I think we both need a cooling-off period, time to think things through.”
“I’ve already thought things through.” Her throat hurt and her chest was heavy and tight. She wanted him gone so she could mourn the loss of her future in private. “Please, just go.”
“I’m not a quitter. I’m not giving up on us. I’ll be back.”
“No, please. Let’s just make it a clean break.” She glanced at the clock, saw that it was getting late. Grace would be coming back with Ryan soon. She wanted Alex gone before that. She wasn’t sure yet what she’d tell Ryan, but it would be far easier after he’d left. “Please, Alex.”
There was no point arguing with her right now, no way to reason with her in this frame of mind. He wasn’t sure just how, but he’d find a way to win her back. “All right. I’ll go. Please prepare my bill and I’ll check out.” With angry strides, he took the stairs two at a time to pack his bag.
Alex was writing a check at the registration desk, trying not to look at Megan standing there waiting, when he heard a car turn into the driveway. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Grace and Ryan jump out chattering, then head for the door. He did look at Megan then and saw she wore a pained look.
So she hadn’t wanted her son to see her throw him out, eh? Did she think he was so depraved that he’d say something to upset that boy? He ripped off the check and handed it to her.
Megan gave him his receipt without meeting his eyes. “Have a nice trip home.” With that, she hurried from the room through the back hall leading to the kitchen before she burst into tears in front of everyone.
“Hi, Alex,” Ryan called out, running over. Noticing the suitcase beside him, he looked up. “Where you going?”
Turning, Alex saw Grace watch Megan disappear, then swing her measuring gaze back to him. He slipped on his sunglasses and crouched down. “Got to go back to San Diego, sport. I’ve got a lot of work waiting for me at the office.”
“Oh. When will you be back?” Innocent blue eyes searched Alex’s face.
“I’m not sure.” He ruffled the boy’s thick hair. “You keep up your batting practice like I showed you, tossing the ball up and then swinging, okay? And read a chapter in Goosebumps every night.”
“Okay, but Alex, don’t you have any idea when you’ll be back?” There was just the slightest tremor to the voice as Ryan picked up on the tension in the air.
In many ways, this was harder than leaving Megan, Alex thought. Megan was a grown woman, one he’d hurt, who needed time and space to consider her options. But Ryan was a little boy who’d already had one father check out on him, and now, here was a man he’d begun to depend on, saying he, too, was leaving. He had to choose his words very carefully.
“Ryan, remember earlier when I told you that I wouldn’t promise something unless I really was going to do it?” He waited for the boy’s solemn nod. “Well, I can’t tell you exactly when I’ll be back, but I will promise you this—I will see you again. That’s the best I can do for now, okay?”
Alex hurled himself into Alex’s arms, nearly knocking him over. “I don’t want you to go. My next game’s tomorrow night.”
Behind his sunglasses, Alex blinked rapidly. “How about if I call you tomorrow after your game, see how it went?”
“It’s not the same.”
“I know.” He hugged the solid little body, kissed the top of his head. “You be good, you hear?”
Releasing him, Ryan nodded, but he looked miserable.
Alex looked into Grace’s dark eyes and found them cool and contemplative as she hustled Ryan inside. He picked up his suitcase, then remembered something. “I left my briefcase up in the room.” He turned and moved to the stairs, wondering why life had to be so damn hard.
Ryan slammed through the swinging doors and found his mother at the table, just staring into space. He hardly noticed. “Mom, Alex is leaving. Do something.”
Slowly, she turned to look into the anxious eyes of her son. “What do you want me to do, Ryan? He has to go.”
“No, no, he doesn’t.” He nearly stuttered getting out the words. “He’ll listen to you. He loves you. He told me so. Go ask him to stay with us, Mom. Please?”
Pressing her lips together, Megan shook her head. “I can’t, Ryan. Let him go. We’ll be fine.” She reached to gather him close.
But he slipped away from her, his face turning angry. “No, I don’t want to let him go. Why won’t you go ask him? What did you do to make him leave?”
Megan had never heard such an angry outburst from her son. The shock
of it had her sitting up, wide-eyed.
“Don’t talk that way to your mother, Ryan,” Grace told him, her tone sharp. “Apologize this minute.”
He swung his irate glance to Grace, then back to his mother. “No, I won’t. Why do you want Alex to leave? Why’d you chase him away?”
Again, Megan reached out, the pain in her chest squeezing harder. “Ryan, listen. I wish I could explain. Maybe when you’re older—”
“I don’t want to listen.” The first tear fell, followed by another. “I asked you to help and you wouldn’t.” Quivering with frustration and roiling emotions, he turned and darted out the side door.
Rising, Grace saw him streak past the window. “I’ll get him.”
“No,” Megan said, “let him be. He has to cry it out. Like I do.” Getting up, as if sleepwalking, she climbed the steps to her room and fell facedown on her bed.
Alex tossed his suitcase into the small trunk, then his briefcase. His face was fixed into an angry frown, his eyes slits, his hands clammy with nerves. He wouldn’t repeat the past hour of his life for all the tea in China. Repositioning his suit coat on the passenger seat where he’d tossed it after his morning meeting, he climbed behind the wheel.
What he needed for now was to get miles away from this place. He needed time to review all he’d done and left undone, time in his own place among his own things. Time to reassess his life, to renew his purpose. Time to think of a way to persuade a very stubborn woman that she was wrong.
Turning on the powerful engine, Alex listened to the hum absently, his gaze going to the vine-covered, three-story structure. He remembered the first day he’d seen it, how nervous he’d been. His glance moved up to the third-floor windows, especially the middle one. The room where he’d spent last night wrapped in Megan’s arms.
He’d been wrong, and now he was paying the price. But he didn’t intend to go on paying it for the rest of his life. He’d find a way to convince Megan that his intentions had been good, even honorable, even though his methods were poorly thought out.
