by Dez Burke
I nuzzle into his warm neck and inhale his scent. “What kind of signal?” I ask.
“Similar to what you’re doing right now,” he says.
“I’m sorry, I really need coffee,” I reply regretfully. I bury my face once last time between his shoulder blades and place a light kiss there before stepping away. “Besides, we can’t stay in bed all day.” I look at him and know what he’s getting ready to say. “Or in the shower or on the kitchen table.”
“The floor?”
“No, not that either,” I say.
“Well, that’s a terrible shame,” he says. “Would you be willing to hand out a raincheck for later?”
“For you? Absolutely.”
“Alright,” he says with a sigh. “We might as well cook a big breakfast then. I’m starving after the workout you gave me last night. Hand me the bacon and eggs out of the refrigerator. There’s some canned biscuits in there, too. I prefer homemade biscuits made from scratch but in a pinch, the canned ones aren’t too bad.”
Fifteen minutes later and we’re sitting down to a huge breakfast. Normally the smell of bacon frying makes me almost gag. I don’t have a big appetite in the mornings, and it’s all I can do to eat a small cup of blueberry yogurt before noon. Today, the bacon and eggs smell delicious to me. It must be the fresh air, the country setting, or the handsome man across from me. I eat as much as I can and then get up to put my dishes away in the dishwasher.
“Would you like more coffee?” I ask.
“Sure, since you’re already up.”
I grab the coffee pot and return to the table. Toby holds his chipped ceramic mug up for me, and I refill it carefully as if it’s something I’ve done a thousand times before.
The action feels familiar and comfortable.
“Thank you, darling.” Toby glances up at me with those bright blue eyes and smiles.
My breath hitches in my throat.
He’s getting to me.
I sit back down and enjoy my second cup of coffee while watching Toby eat. He easily finishes off a half pound of bacon by himself and three fried eggs. Considering the muscle he’s packing, the need for enormous amounts of protein doesn’t surprise me.
“How many eggs do you eat a day?” I ask curiously.
“Usually about six,” he says with a laugh. “Three for breakfast and three boiled eggs for a snack later on.”
“Seriously? That’s a lot of eggs to put away. Even for a man your size.”
“I’ve got to keep my muscle somehow. I don’t eat store-bought eggs. Only fresh ones from a farm. I have friends with chickens running around their yards. They usually bring me a few dozen eggs a week. I’ll come home some nights to find cartons of them stacked up on my doorstep. One time, Sadie found them first. There were cracked eggs and eggshells scattered all over the yard.”
Sadie hears her name and comes over to nudge Toby’s hand.
“You’re a bad girl, aren’t you?” he says to her while patting her side. “Such a little troublemaker.” He’s speaking in a low voice and she’s eating it up.
“She’s a lucky girl to have found you.”
“The other way around,” he says. “She saved me. I didn’t know how much I needed Sadie until the day I found her. Sometimes life is like that. You’re sputtering along, thinking you’re doing just fine. And then bam! Something happens to make you realize what you were missing the whole time.”
He drains the rest of his coffee and stands up. “Did you decide what you want to do today? I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
“I would love to know more about you,” I say. “What your normal days are like in the Steel Infidels or what you do on a lazy Sunday morning. Show me what makes Toby tick.”
“Okay, that’s easy enough. It might be boring though. Do you mind if Sadie comes with us? She can ride in the back seat of the truck. I’ll take you to see my fishing spot first. One of my favorite places in the whole world. You’ll like it too. We’ll figure out the rest of the day from there.”
“Give me ten minutes to get ready,” I say.
Toby opens the back door of the truck and Sadie eagerly jumps in. When I reach to open the door of the passenger side, he grabs my arm to stop me.
“Wait a second,” he says. “Give me time to put a blanket over the seat. Sadie sheds like crazy and I don’t want you covered in dog hair.”
I wait while he spreads a clean blanket out on the seat of the truck for me. I’m wearing black jeans and a black turtleneck sweater. I was glad I packed the sweater. It covers up the purple bruises on my neck that I’m trying to hide from Toby.
If he sees them, he’ll be so wracked by guilt that he’ll shut down emotionally again. Today is about getting to know him, and I don’t want anything to interfere with that. Hopefully the bruises will fade by tomorrow.
Toby pats the blanket. “Okay, now you can get in,” he says.
Sadie shakes in the back seat and hair flies everywhere.
There’s no way I won’t be covered in yellow fur by the end of the day. I’m not worried. A little dog hair never killed anyone.
“Thanks,” I say, climbing in.
Toby slides into the driver’s seat and looks over at me. “Why are you sitting so far over there on your side? Slide over this way, darling. Where I can keep my hands on you.” He pats the vinyl seat between us. “That’s the best thing about this old truck. There aren’t any bucket seats with a console in the middle. Just one big, long front seat.”
Really?
He wants me to sit right beside him as if we’re high school sweethearts? I resist the impulse to giggle and unbuckle my seatbelt.
Okay, no argument from me.
When I slide closer, he takes his right hand off the steering wheel and places it comfortably on my leg.
“Much better,” he says. “And don’t worry. I can drive just fine with my left hand. Even a straight shift if I have to.”
I snuggle closer and run a hand down his forearm.
Yes, much better.
Fifteen minutes later, after several twists and turns on a one-lane dirt road, we arrive at the lake. Toby stops the truck and goes around to let Sadie out. She takes off chasing a squirrel and disappears out of sight.
“Sadie!” I yell after her. She ignores me and keeps running.
“Let her go,” he says. “She’s okay.”
“Aren’t you afraid she’ll run off?”
Toby laughs. “Are you kidding? She’ll be back in five minutes to check on me, then she’ll take off again. She’s too insecure about her Daddy leaving her to be gone for long. Don’t worry. She’ll be fine.” He waves a hand at the lake in front of us. “What do you think about my fishing hole?”
Except for a few crows flying overhead, there isn’t a sound to be heard. The clear lake water is still without a single ripple. Tall trees stripped bare of their leaves line the banks on all sides. There are no signs of human activity anywhere.
“The lake is beautiful and peaceful. I can see why you like it here.”
“Most days it’s so quiet I can hear my own heartbeat,” Toby says. He takes my hand. “Come on. I’ll show you the dock. If I’m only here for an hour or so, I’ll fish straight from the bank. Otherwise I’ll pack a cooler with lunch and walk out to the end of the dock. Sadie and I like to sit on the edge. She’s a strong swimmer, so it’s a good place to bring her for exercise in the summer.”
“What kind of fish do you catch? Do you keep them or throw them back?”
“Most of the time I throw them back. I only keep the ones I’m planning to fry or grill for dinner. They’re never wasted. Striped Bass is my favorite. The sweetest, cleanest fish you’ve ever tasted. Do you eat fish?”
If I didn’t, I sure wouldn’t tell him.
“I love fish,” I say. “Every kind except swordfish. I can do without that one. And I’m glad to hear you have a few healthy foods in your diet. Something besides eggs and bacon.”
We walk around a curve
in the riverbank and he points to a long, wooden dock that jets out into the lake. “There’s my sweet spot. You’re the first person I’ve ever brought here. It’s my secret place.”
I’m pleased that he felt comfortable enough with me to share his special spot. The wooden dock is long, going several yards way out into the lake. It’s narrow without railings on either side.
He looks down at me in concern. “You can swim, right?” he asks. “I didn’t bring a life jacket, and the water is deep at the end of the dock.”
“I was on the swim team in high school.”
“Just wanted to make sure in case you fall in. Some people get dizzy walking on boat docks and fall off the edge. If that happens, I need to know if I should jump in after you or wait and see if you can get out on your own.”
“I hope you would jump in to save me either way,” I say wryly.
He laughs. “I’m just messing with you. I would always protect my queen. No matter what.”
His queen.
I love the sound of those words.
28
Toby
When Maggie said she wanted to know more about me, the first thing I thought of was bringing her here…to my happy place. The one spot where I feel peaceful, calm, and normal. Or let’s be honest, as normal as I can be under the circumstances.
I wanted her to see the man I hope to be, not the out-of-control monster I showed her last night.
A fucked-up, damaged disaster.
Even after the horror of what I put her through, she managed to find a glimpse of something worthwhile deep inside me. It’s hard for me to comprehend while at the same time gives me hope in myself and the strength to try my best to keep it going.
Disappointing Maggie is not an option.
She could be my queen.
The special one.
I felt more than a physical connection when we were fucking.
The word makes me wince as soon as I think it. I shouldn’t call it that because it was so much more. The word ‘fucking’ when talking about Maggie sounds crude and just plain wrong. If someone else used the word in reference to her, I’d knock the shit out of them.
What we had last night was more than sex.
After being screwed up in the head for so long, I needed a soft place to fall and she was there with open arms. The intense emotional connection when we made love was something I’ve never experienced before.
Deep, emotionally intense, and scary.
I’m terrified.
I’ve kept my emotions bottled up for so long, and now they’re pouring out like water over a dam spillway in the spring.
I’m scared that if I let Maggie in, I’ll let the monster who lives inside me out.
“You’re quiet all of a sudden,” she says, glancing up at me. “Is something wrong?”
We’re walking down the long dock and are almost at the end. The dock is narrow, not more than four feet wide. Plenty wide enough for two people to walk side by side as long as one of them doesn’t stumble or trip. I let go of her hand and slip my arm around her waist, pulling her close against my side.
“Don’t walk so close to the edge,” I say. “It’s making me nervous.”
“You’re really afraid I’ll fall into the water?” she asks with a laugh.
Truthfully, I am. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don’t want to lose her.
“I was only trying to find an excuse to put my arm around you,” I say. “And to grab your gorgeous ass.” I slide my hand down and cup her ass with my hand. “You fill out a pair of jeans perfectly.”
When we reach the end of the dock, I sit down on the edge and dangle my legs over the side. “Be careful and climb down here with me,” I say. “If you’re real still, we’ll be able to see the fish in a minute.”
Maggie sits down close to me and waits. “Oh look! There’s one.” She points down at the clear water. There’s a big fish swimming around the wooden poles of the dock below us. “Do you come here more for the fishing or the solitude?”
“What do you think?” I ask.
I had no more than got the words out of my mouth when my phone rings in my pocket. Damn! I forgot to turn it off. I pull it out and check the caller.
Flint.
Must be important, since he rarely calls unless it is. He’s not a man known for silly chit-chat.
“I’m sorry, I’ve got to take this.” I stand up and walk several feet down the dock away from Maggie.
“What’s up?” I say into the phone.
“There’s been a change of plans,” Flint says. “Bring Maggie back to the clubhouse and I’ll fill you in on what’s going on.”
I’m not happy about leaving the lake right away and putting an abrupt end to our peaceful morning. It’s the first time I’ve felt content and hopeful in a long time.
“Are you kidding? We’re out at the lake with Sadie. We just got here.”
“Tough titty,” he says. “We’re calling all of the crew back in. It’s time to ride.”
I click off the phone and reluctantly turn around. Maggie is listening to my end of the conversation. She’s already standing up to dust off the back of her jeans.
“What’s going on?” she asks.
“We need to go,” I say. “We’ll drop Sadie off at the house, pick up your things, then head on over to the clubhouse where you can pick up your car. You should probably go back to Atlanta.”
“My car?” she asks in surprise. “Why? I thought I was supposed to hang around you for a couple of days? Are you in a big hurry to get rid of me?”
“Things have changed,” I explain. “Flint is calling all of the crew back to the clubhouse. I’m not sure what is going on.”
I whistle for Sadie, and she comes running full blast out of the woods. She goes ahead of us to the truck and waits impatiently until we get there.
“I’m not leaving and going back to Atlanta,” Maggie says when we’re all inside the truck. “I need to be here where the action is and besides, I don’t want to leave you yet.”
I blow out a long breath and grip her knee. She’s as stubborn as I am.
“What do you mean by yet?” I ask.
“We’re in this together,” she says firmly. “I’m not going anywhere.”
That’s what she thinks.
29
Maggie
Toby is worried. I can tell. His leg muscles are tense bands of steel under my fingertips. The second he received the phone call from Flint, his entire demeanor changed. He went from happy and carefree to badass biker mode.
Both sides of Toby are equally attractive to me. Every woman wants to be loved. Every woman also needs to feel protected.
Toby is capable of doing both easily.
After dropping Sadie off and picking up my things, we drive to the clubhouse where the crowd of reporters are still hanging around the gate. From the number of vehicles parked along the road and on the grass, there appear to be more here today than last night.
If that was even possible.
“If you don’t want to be seen with me, duck down in the seat,” Toby says when we approach the clubhouse. “I can toss the blanket over you until we get through the gates.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to be seen with you?” I ask curiously.
“I don’t know. I thought you might not want the other press to see you in my truck this morning.”
“Who cares? They will only be jealous and wish they were me. After all, I’m getting dibs on the first interview with the Steel Infidels.”
Toby has a valid point. If people suspect I’m sleeping with him, my interview will come across as biased or unprofessional. For the time being, it might be better to keep the private part of our relationship to ourselves. Or at least secret from the press and the public.
Up ahead, two of the Steel Infidels crew members are working the gate. I recognize Rocco from last night. The other guy I’ve never seen before.
“Who is the other man?” I ask.
It hasn’t occurred to me to ask Toby about his job. I assumed he worked full-time for the Steel Infidels doing something. I’m not sure what. Maybe I didn’t want to know for certain. I’m relieved to hear that he has a regular job to go to every day instead of just hanging around the clubhouse.
Or doing whatever it is motorcycle clubs do.
The crowd of reporters try to film us as we drive quickly through the gate. I suspect my face will be on their news stations tonight. That’s okay. All it will do is drum up publicity for my interview. When we’re inside, Toby drives his truck around the clubhouse so we can go in the back door.
“Where’s Flint?” he yells out to a tall, leggy blonde girl leaning against the pool table in the main room.
She straightens up and flips her long hair over her shoulders. “Upstairs,” she says. “With Sam.”
Her round, baby blue eyes cut over to me. The extra-long fake eyelashes she’s wearing make her look like a china doll. “You’re Maggie Turner from Channel 5,” she says, her eyes growing bigger. “I’m so excited to meet you! I heard you were here yesterday. Will you be hanging around long? I would love to talk to you about how to become a newscaster. Or a weather girl. I’ve always wanted to be one of those. How hard could it be, right? I’m sure they tell them what to say.”
She motions with her hands, pretending there is a map of the United States behind her. “Today we have storms in the South,” she says, waving her hands in the general direction of where she thinks Georgia should be. “While the Midwest states are clear and cold.” She holds out her hands. “What do you think about my nails? Should they be shorter if I’m on air? I bet with your connections you could get me an interview at Channel 5.”
I blink at her in surprise. The girl seems nice enough, and I hate to be the one to squash a person’s dreams. On the other hand, she’s seriously delusional.
