"So when are you two leaving?"
"I'm flying out tomorrow. Nicole needs a few days to get her stuff together." He rolled his eyes. "You know how women are."
"I can't tell you how happy this makes me."
"Well, I'm about to make you even happier." He gestured at the shredder.
"I don't understand."
"I'm destroying my research notes, everything and anything pertaining to Sable. I've already wiped my hard drives. Consider it a belated wedding gift."
Jude looked stunned. "I don't know what to say,"
"There's nothing to say. I should have done it a long time ago. It's up to Sable who she wants to confide in. I won't say anything." The look on his brother's face was worth more than anything he'd gain from the research. He felt a little better. "Will you tell her for me?"
"I think you should tell her yourself."
"You do it, Jude. I don't want to start bringing up past history with her." He hoped to leave without seeing Sable and the babies again. Despite his decision, his heart twisted whenever he thought about his son. Seeing the boy would only make it harder to leave. He might get some stupid idea, like wanting to play father. He'd screwed up his own life, he'd be damned if he'd screw up his kid's.
He just hoped he wasn't making another mistake. His brother looked so damn happy. What if someday he found out one of the boys wasn't his? Not gonna happen. Not if he could help it. They were all better off this way. Jude would make a better father than he ever would. No one need ever know the boys were only half brothers.
He raised his glass. "To new beginnings."
"I'll drink to that." Jude clinked his glass, and they each took a swallow.
As soon as Jude walked out, he slumped back in the chair and put his head in his hands. He didn't want to leave, but he forced himself to pick up the phone and confirm his flight. Next, he called Nicole. She sounded so happy, while inside he felt like he was dying.
* * * *
Jonas set his bags by the front door. He had hoped to sneak out early, but he heard Jude coming downstairs.
"I know you weren't going to leave without a good-bye."
"No, of course not." He sighed inwardly. Almost made it.
"Sable has the boys in the kitchen. Come in for a minute."
"Sure." He'd make it quick and be on his way.
Sable held his son against her shoulder. Anguish seared his heart. He wondered how it would feel if they belonged to him. They locked eyes for a second, and he had a flashback. He almost felt her in his arms. He looked away.
"Just look how big this kid is getting." Jude took the baby and handed him to Jonas, oblivious of his awkward silence. "My kid is going to be a linebacker or a sumo wrestler."
Jonas forced a smile. "Double trouble. Cute shirts."
"Karin and Malcolm sent them, along with a bunch of other stuff." Jude looked over at Sable. "We're going to take the babies over there for a visit." Sable smiled back at him.
Jonas's son grabbed his finger and held on for dear life, as if he didn't want him to leave. Maybe he felt the connection, too. "He's got a hell of a grip."
"His name is Samuel," Jude said proudly.
Jonas looked up, surprised. It was their father's name.
"It was Sable's idea." Jude lifted the other twin from an infant seat. "And the little guy is Maxwell, after Sable's father."
From the corner of his eye, he saw Sable watching him, trying to gage his reaction. The names were fitting, a connection between two families. Two species. Who the hell cared? His brother was happy, and he'd make sure no one destroyed that happiness again, especially not him.
He looked right at Sable. "It's a wonderful idea. My father would be honored."
Sable's eyes brimmed with tears. So did Jude's. He felt like crying himself.
"Christ, we're all gonna end up bawling like babies. Jonas, tell Sable your good news before you take off."
Sable looked at him expectantly, and he winced. He had to talk about it sooner or later. "Nicole is meeting me in Philadelphia. We're getting married."
Surprise siphoned the blood from Sable's face. She looked like he punched her in the stomach.
Jude looked from one to the other. "No congratulations for your brother-in-law?"
"Of course. I'm just surprised."
"Ugh." Jonas broke the tension, wrinkled his nose. "When do they get toilet trained?"
Jude laughed and set Max back in his seat. "I'm on diaper duty. Give him here."
Jonas handed off his son. "Looks like my cue to get outta Dodge." He was more than ready to make a hasty retreat.
"I'll walk you out," Sable said quietly.
Both men looked at her in surprise.
"Have a safe trip, bro. Call us when you get there."
"I will, Jude. Take care of your boys."
Sable followed him outside. Being alone with her made him nervous. They stopped by the car.
"Jude told me you destroyed your research. Thank you for that, Jonas."
"You don't need to thank me. It was a mistake from the beginning. I was playing God." Uncomfortable, he changed the subject. "How are you feeling, Sable? You look great."
"I'm good. You saved my life. And Maxwell's. I owe you a lot."
Her unique musky scent wafted over him, and his stomach tightened. He kept a safe distance between them. "You don't owe me anything. I'm just glad you're all okay and happy. You are happy?"
"Yes." She hesitated. "And you? Are you happy, Jonas?"
"I'm okay." He shrugged.
"That's not what I asked you." Her amber eyes glittered.
"Things aren't perfect, but whose life is? How did we get suckered into believing we had to be happy every minute of our lives?"
"When did you decide to get married?"
"What is this, twenty questions?" Christ, he was getting sick of this cat and mouse game between them. She didn't give a shit about him, so why pretend. "It's time. Man's not meant to be alone. Right?"
"You're not alone, Jonas. You have us."
"It's not enough, Sable. I'm a third wheel here. I need a partner, a few kids of my own. You and Jude got the fairy-tale ending."
"Not quite." Her voice trailed off.
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing. Maybe I have that postnatal depression thing." She gave a strained laugh.
"That's nothing to laugh about. You should talk to your doctor."
"I will."
"I'm serious, Sable." He looked at his watch. "I better get going. I have a flight to catch."
She stepped back. Jonas got in the car and pulled away.
Sable did seem down. She must be exhausted. Breastfeeding two infants could take its toll. She should pump and fix a few bottles so Jude could do some night feedings. He caught himself. It wasn't his business. She was Jude's wife, not his. He was right to get out of here. The sooner the better.
No way in hell he'd hurt his brother again. He saw the way Jude looked at Sable. He loved her, really loved her. Jude never wanted the divorce. He was the one who pushed and goaded him into filing those papers.
And the babies. They were half Lycan, but they looked just like Outlaw babies. Jude was over the moon, he doted on them, both of them. If and when the time came for the boys to shift, Jude would handle it better than he ever could. He was better off being the uncle who saw them on holidays.
As if things weren't complicated enough, he lusted after Sable. He wasn't sure he could fight it if he stayed. He suspected nothing would make it go away, not even marriage to Nicole.
* * * *
Jonas came to, just like every morning, hungover. His head felt like an anvil being struck with a hammer, over and over again. Sunlight streamed through the blinds, and he shut his eyes against the light.
Naked, sweaty, and too sick to move, he tried to piece together the previous night. He remembered an argument with Nicole, nothing after that. Speaking of Nicole, where was the bitch?
As if she heard him, she appeared in the doorway
of the bedroom, dressed in slacks and a jacket.
"What time is it?" he croaked.
"It's one o'clock, Jonas. Are you getting up today?" she asked bitterly.
"Eventually."
"What's going on, Jonas? I've known you since we were kids, and I've never seen you like this before."
"You never lived with me before. You bring out the best in me."
"You bastard! Are you saying it's my fault you're drinking?" Her voice rose in pitch, it hurt his ears.
"Calm down. It was a joke."
"This is no joke. You can't function without getting buzzed. Face it. You're an alcoholic, a barely functioning alcoholic. You're throwing your life away."
"Give me a break. You make it sound like I'm some kind of skid row bum."
"You're well on your way, you son of a bitch," she screamed at him. “Make a choice. Me or the booze."
"Gimme a minute," he grunted.
"I'm done, Jonas. I've been here a month, and I can see nothing’s going to change. I'm going home. If you can get it together, call me, but I'm done waiting. I've waited long enough."
He heard the door slam, and he knew she was gone. She really meant it this time. Good. She was better off without him. He didn't love her, and he'd only fuck up her life. He was good at that. Look what he'd done to his own.
Chapter Twenty-One
Samuel sucked rhythmically, his warm body and sweet baby smell almost unbearably pleasurable. Max, already fed, slept soundly in the crib. Jude propped his head on an elbow, his eyes fixed on Sam.
"Shouldn't you get some sleep?" Sable whispered.
"I'd rather watch you and Sam." He stroked the baby's pale downy hair with a finger.
These midnight feedings were the best part of her day, the quiet time with her little family together and safe. Not all of her family. Her heart twisted thinking of Jonas. She felt bereft without him.
Sam's rosebud mouth stopped tugging at her breast, and he nestled against her chest. He should have nursed longer, but it would be useless to encourage him. Stubborn like his father, he did as he pleased.
The jangling phone, a sinister portent of trouble, startled all of them. The baby opened his eyes wide, waved his tiny fists, and let out a howl of protest. She snatched him to her chest and soothed him.
Jude already had the receiver to his ear. His expression changed from peaceful to angry. "Why didn't you call me sooner?" He slammed the receiver down. "Fuck!" He cursed softly, threw the blankets off, and groped for his jeans lying on the floor.
Max cried out, joining his brother in a duet.
"Sorry." He looked over at Sable. "I tried to be quiet."
"What's wrong?" Already out of bed, she laid Sam down next to his twin and felt around for their pacifiers. In her heart, she knew something bad had happened to Jonas.
"Jonas is in the hospital," he muttered, his voice strained.
Her heart stuttered. "Oh, my Gods!" He should have been here, safe with his family. Why had she let him leave without knowing the truth? No matter what he felt for her, he wouldn't have gone off and left his son. She comforted the babies, rubbing their backs until their eyes closed. "Is he okay?" She held her breath waiting for the answer.
"Janis didn't say much." He got down on his knees and looked under the bed. "Where the hell are my boots?"
"You left them downstairs."
"I'll grab them on my way out."
"Way out?"
"I'll catch a flight to Philly. They run pretty often."
"Jude, he's going to be okay, isn't he?"
"I think so. Stupid son of a bitch could have got himself killed."
"I'm going with you." She had to see for herself. She'd never forgive herself if Jonas died not knowing he fathered the twins.
"No way! You belong here with the babies. As soon as he's up to it, I'm bringing him home. We'll be back in a couple of days."
"What happened?"
"A bar fight with a couple of punks. They waited for him outside and knifed him."
"This is all my fault," she said, moaning.
"What are you talking about? This is all Nicole's doing. If she hadn't left him, he wouldn't be drinking like this. He should have come home instead of brooding alone in an apartment."
"He's confused. He doesn't know what he wants. Here." She handed him a duffel bag from the closet.
"Thanks." He threw it on the bed. "Fuck!" He let loose a few painful invectives.
"Shh. You'll wake them again."
"I stubbed my toe on the bedpost." He hopped over to the dresser and snatched up underwear and shirts. "It’s time for Jonas to wake the fuck up and figure out what he wants.. If somebody hadn't walked out and called 911 he could've bled to death. Janis said she's never seen him like this. She can't talk to him. She should have called me sooner."
"What could you have done? He doesn't listen to you," Sable whispered. Maybe he'd listen to her. Jonas must be feeling the same sense of loss she did, only he wouldn't understand why. She knew Jude felt it, too. He chalked it up to missing his brother, but it was more than that. They weren't just brothers anymore. She had linked them in a bond stronger than they could ever imagine. She took out another bag and unzipped it.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Jude, I have to see him."
"You'll see him when I bring him home. He hates the city. I guarantee he'll feel better as soon as he's back." Jude looked down at the babies and grazed their chubby cheeks with a knuckle.
Sable grabbed a robe and followed him out of the bedroom. "I have to go. He won't come home unless he knows we both want him back."
"He'll come home if I have to hog-tie him and carry him on the plane." He took the steps two at a time with Sable on his heels.
"Jude, you don't understand."
He stopped at the foot of the steps, and she almost ran into him. "What don't I understand, Sable?"
"We need to talk. Please." She grabbed his arm, and he let her lead him into the den. They sat on the couch and turned to face each other.
"This is nonnegotiable. You need to stay here with the babies.”
"I can get Karin and Malcolm to watch them. They'd love it."
"You're breastfeeding, Sable. Remember?"
"Karin can give them formula for a few days."
"I thought you were totally against that?" Jude raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "What's really going on here?"
"I need to tell you something."
"I'm not sure I like the sound of this."
"I love you." She took his hands.
"I love you, too. Now what's this about?"
She tried to have a monogamous relationship with Jude. She really did. But deep down, she always knew that none of them would be happy unless they faced the truth.
Jonas's life had spiraled out of control, and only she knew why. He needed her. He needed all of them. He might not accept it or even believe her, but she had to try.
"Jonas needs us."
"I know that, sweetheart, that's why I'm going out there."
"I need him," she whispered, squeezing Jude's hands so tight she was afraid she'd break his bones.
"What the hell does that mean?" She felt Jude stiffen next to her.
She steeled herself for the final plunge. Once she told him, there'd be no going back.
"There's a connection between us, the three of us. We need to be together. I think Jonas is feeling lost, and he doesn't understand what's happening to him. It's tearing him apart."
"What kind of bullshit is this?" His face contorted with anger. "Some story you thought up because you want to sleep with my brother?" He stood and made a grab for his bag.
"Wait." His expression scared her, but she started this, and she had to finish it.
"I don't want to talk about this now."
"Jude, just hear me out. Please. You must be feeling it, too, a sense of something missing. Your brother is miserable, and we're the only ones who can help him."
"What does a
ll this mumbo jumbo mean?" He came back and sat down heavily.
"Remember when I told you that you marked me with your bite."
"Slow down a minute, you're talking about a hickey I gave you in the middle of sex?"
"It meant more to me than a love bite. My people mark their mates with a bite. It's a real sign of commitment like our marriage license." She paused to let the words sink in. "Jonas has a mark on his neck. I gave it to him when I was in heat, but I've come to realize the truth. It happened for a reason."
He covered the scar on his neck with a palm. "And this scar on my neck?"
"Yes, I marked you as well. I told myself the marks meant nothing to you and Jonas, but I was wrong. You both feel the connection as strongly as I do. I know you do."
He pulled his hands away. "He's my twin. Of course I feel connected."
"This is stronger. Our lives are forever connected. Jonas left because he loves you and wants you to be happy. He thinks that's only possible if he's not around. But the opposite is true, and he's going to kill himself if he doesn't face it. You may not believe it or want it to be that way, but the Gods brought us together. There's nothing we can do about it."
"You're saying we're supposed to live together like some group of swingers? Share you like we did when we first brought you here? Maybe you want to add another man. Or a woman? I thought I knew you after all these months."
The look of anguish on his face cut deep. Was she going to lose him again? "No, you don't know me at all." She tried to take his hands, but he pulled away. "I love you and Jonas. I'm bonded with you for life, I'll never love anyone else. Triads are part of my culture. In my world, a marriage between a woman and two men is not something to be ashamed of."
"This isn't your world. We practice monogamy here. I love you and my brother, but that doesn't mean I want him in our bed."
"This isn't just about sex, Jude. It's love, trust, a powerful, intimate connection. But it can only be successful if there's communication. I should have told you all this before."
"Look, I appreciate your tribal customs, but they don't apply to me. I have you and my kids, and that's all I need."
"The kids." Her heart squeezed with anguish.
His face went deathly white.
Stanley, Gale - Mating Call [Black Wolf Gorge 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 18
