He didn't trust Raine. But he still wanted her.
Which made him a fool.
He couldn't walk away, though. He couldn't take the chance she'd keep going after Northrup.
He couldn't abandon her.
Raine's breath stuttered out, her face flushed, her mouth trembling. Then she ground her heel into his foot. He yelped and loosened his grip on her wrists. She put her hands on his chest and shoved. She'd taken him by surprise, and he stumbled backward, bumping against a chair.
"Get out." Her low voice quivered with anger and the arousal that lingered in her eyes. "Now, Donovan. We're done."
He stared at her for a long moment, fury and desire coiling together in his belly. He watched the rise and fall of her chest as she drew in deep breaths.
"Make me."
She slapped her hands onto his chest and shoved. He was prepared this time, and he didn't move. When her fingers curled into his muscles, the buzz of electricity was so strong, it was as if she'd used his own taser on him.
Her hair had dried in tiny blond clumps that stood straight up. She looked like a porcupine as she shoved him again. A porcupine trying to move a boulder. He tightened his muscles and stood his ground.
"Not in control right now, are you?" Arousal and fury warred inside him. "Come on, Raine. You can take me. You have a black belt in tae kwon do."
She growled and reared back for a kick. But he stepped out of her way, and she stumbled against the door frame. When she whirled around and tried to kick him again, he wrapped his arms around her. She struggled against him, but he didn't let go.
"Stop," he grunted into her ear. "For God's sake, aren't you injured enough? Knock it off."
She struggled for a few more moments, but her arms and legs were trembling and she was struggling for breath. He tightened his hold on her until she couldn't move at all.
When she stilled, he let her go and backed to the door. Holding her gaze, he said, "You know I'm right."
She'd followed him through the living room, and she was close enough for him to smell the faint minty residue of her toothpaste. The doughy scent of the toast. All of it overlaid by the haunting orange fragrance.
She drew in a trembling breath. "Right or wrong doesn't matter. At least I'm trying. It's more than anyone else ever did for Genie." She reached behind him and yanked the door open, and he stepped away from the swing. Her hand brushed over his ass, and she froze for a moment. Her fingers curled into his muscle. Flexed.
She slapped her hands onto his chest and shoved again, and he let her move him into the hall.
"I beat you, Raine." Her eyes darkened. "I let you kick me out."
Her jaw clenched and the door slammed in his face. The deadbolt engaged. The chain slid into its slot on the door.
He leaned against the wall and stared at her door. How could he want a woman this reckless? This careless with her life?
After what had happened with his former captain, his life had become black and white. Either he trusted someone, or he didn't. No gray areas. Trust. Don't trust.
Raine was in the 'don't trust' category.
A smarter man would walk away from her and never look back.
A smarter man wouldn't get involved with a woman embracing a death wish.
A smarter man wouldn't look at Raine Taylor and want her.
He'd clearly dropped twenty IQ points since he met her.
Chapter 15
Raine's hand shook so badly that it took several tries before she was able to slide the chain into its slot on the door. When it finally clicked into place, she leaned her head against the wood and took a deep breath. Then another.
He was still on the other side of the door. He hadn't moved. But he was there, a reminder of her failure. Her body knew he was there. Knew, and yearned for him.
She shoved herself away from the door and wrapped her arms around her waist. Not like that. God, not that way.
She wanted to hurt him. Rip the door open and fly at him again. Send him crashing to the floor. That's what she meant.
What would she do when she had him on the floor?
Pictures spooled through her mind – bodies locked together. Heat. Desire. Bare skin.
Outside the door, a shoe scraped against the floor. She froze. But instead of rattling her doorknob, trying to get into her apartment, he was walking away. His footsteps receded, then tapped on the stairs as he descended. Finally faded completely.
She moved to the window and watched him walk through the courtyard. The crabapples were losing their blossoms and the pink petals drifted down onto him, sticking to his hair, his face, his shirt. He looked like spring, like the beginning of something, and she couldn't bear it. Because she was watching the ending of something.
Focus. School. She had to get to school.
She stopped in the doorway to the kitchen. The room looked no different from yesterday morning, or the morning before that. But the energy of their fight still vibrated in the air.
He'd cooked for her. Because he was pissed off.
He'd yelled at her.
He'd pressed her against the refrigerator. Made her helpless.
She'd been furious with him, and he'd made her want him.
That was the most terrifying part of the fight. She'd wanted to kill him.
She'd wanted to fuck him.
The same way she'd fucked him before. They'd been pissed off that night, too, standing beneath the tree, and he'd been inside her in under five minutes.
Had he gotten that far beneath her skin? That even when she was furious, she still wanted him?
Unease stirred inside her. The idea of angry sex had never turned her on before. Neither had being pinned against a door by a big man.
So why was she still aching for Connor?
Grabbing the plate of cold, congealing eggs off the table, she scraped it into the sink and turned on the garbage disposal. It gurgled and churned as it ate her breakfast.
She slid the plate into the dishwasher, then walked out of the kitchen. She didn't want to see any reminders of Connor when she came home tonight.
As she grabbed her tote and headed for the door, her gaze caught the bed in the other room. The blue patchwork quilt hung off the bed, half on the floor. The yellow sheets were rumpled and twisted. As if two people had made love in there.
She plunged her hand into her bag, digging for her keys, and a jolt of pain speared through her shoulder. She stilled for a moment, waited for the pain to ease, then searched again, careful not to move her shoulder.
When she found the keys, she stepped into the hall and locked the door behind her. Halfway down the stairs, she remembered she didn't have her car. It was back at the school, left behind when she rode away in an ambulance.
It didn't matter. She could take the bus. She'd taken it before.
The pink petals swirled on the sidewalk as she strode toward the gate. Any other day, she'd linger to watch them, to enjoy the patterns they made on the sidewalk.
Not today. Today, they only looked like loss. The petals that had caught in the grass were already brown. Dead, after a short and spectacular life.
She pushed through the gate without pausing. Started walking the two blocks to the bus stop.
As she rounded the first corner, the low growl of a car came up behind her. It didn't pass her. It didn't turn. It kept pace with her.
Connor's warning echoed in her ears. Northrup is smart. He's strong. He's not going to let you take him down.
Peter wouldn't do anything on a busy street.
There was no one else on the street right now.
No other cars. No people walking to the bus or the El.
Was Connor right? Was she stupid to think she could overpower Peter?
Her former brother-in-law was ripped. Genie had talked about how strong he was. About how his hands were impossible to dislodge, once they wrapped around her arms.
Raine had a black belt. She was strong.
Connor had said Peter wa
s smart.
She was smart, too.
A voice whispered that Connor was right. She hadn't been able to budge him. Hadn't been able to get loose when he had her pinned in her kitchen.
She hadn't tried hard enough. Hadn't wanted to hurt him.
Maybe she hadn't wanted to get loose.
She stumbled to a stop, then began walking again. Faster. She had to get to school. Had to smile and act like she was fine. Like her face didn't throb, her shoulder didn't ache, her stitches didn't itch.
She had to make sure Bella was okay.
The car crept closer, and she spun around to see who was following her.
Connor.
A wave of relief swept over her, followed by anger. He stopped when she spun around. Stared at her. Didn't move.
She stormed over to the car. The window lowered as she got closer.
"What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to freak me out?"
His eyes were cool. Unreadable cop's eyes. "No. I'm making sure you get to the bus safely. And you should thank me for scaring you. For making you think you were in trouble. For a smart woman, you can be incredibly dense."
She spun around and walked faster to the bus stop. His car rolled along behind her. Still keeping pace.
She seethed when she reached the bus stop and he was still there. Fumed when he parked next to a fire hydrant behind her. His gaze bored into her back, making her skin prickle and her heart thump hard against her chest.
The seconds stretched out painfully, each one an eternity, until the bus finally arrived. As she slid into an empty seat, she glanced out the window. Connor's car idled at the stop sign, waiting to turn.
Her last glimpse of him was a dark, indistinct silhouette behind the steering wheel.
***
After the dismissal bell rang at three pm, Raine forced herself to smile as the kids filed out of the classroom, but it felt more like a grimace. Her head pounded to the beat of the giant jackhammer inside her skull. Pain ripped across her chest and down her arm when she moved her shoulder. And she was so tired she swayed on her feet.
But she still had to make it through tae kwon do with the girls.
As much as she hated to admit it, Connor had been right. She should have stayed home today.
Maybe Connor had been right about other things, too.
She pushed the thought out of her head. No. She was doing what she had to do. She couldn't let Peter get away with killing Genie. She'd be smart about it. Careful. But she wouldn't stop until he was locked up.
Raine nodded to the last boy leaving the classroom, and it felt as if her head was falling off her neck.
It took longer than usual to put her tote into her locker in the teacher's lounge. A few other teachers were in the room, and they all smiled at her. Told her how brave she was to stand up to Bella's father. How smart she'd been to figure out a way to get him locked up.
It didn't feel so smart right now. It felt as if Abrietto had beaten the crap out of her.
Which was exactly what had happened.
When she pushed into the gym, the girls were standing on the mats, ready to work. They were talking, and the screech of their excited voices made her head pound even more.
One by one, they fell silent as they noticed her. Then they rushed toward her.
"Are you okay, Ms. T?"
"Wow! I've never seen such a big black eye!"
"Does it hurt?"
Of course it hurts, she wanted to yell. She waited for them to quiet, then slipped the tote bag off her good shoulder and set it on the floor.
The door clicked open behind her, and Bella hurried past them into the locker room. She was still wearing Raine's turtleneck. The girls were abruptly silent. Bella's head was down and she didn't look at them.
As soon as the door swung shut behind Bella, the girls began talking again.
Raine raised her hands, and the voices trailed off. Taking a deep breath, trying to ignore the pain in her head, she said, "I'm sure Bella is upset about what happened yesterday. Embarrassed. Angry. Sad. Think how you would feel if it had been your father."
They shuffled their feet, glancing toward the locker room. Silent.
"So please don't tease her about it. Don't ask her questions. Treat her like your teammate and your friend. Okay?"
"What's going to happen to her father?"
"Is he going to prison?"
"Bella had a black eye last year. Did her father do that?"
The high-pitched shriek of teen-aged girls competing to be heard hammered into Raine's head.
She raised her hand to quiet them, making her shoulder throb.
"Girls."
No one heard her over the noise.
She put her fingers in her mouth and whistled. The piercing sound cut through the clamor, stabbed her brain and brought silence. She closed her eyes for a moment, waiting out the pain.
"Thank you." She glanced from one girl to the next, making sure they were all paying attention. "Did you hear what I just said? We're not going to talk about what happened. This is a difficult time for Bella and her family, and she needs our compassion. And our understanding. All right?"
One by one, all the girls nodded.
"Good. We're a team, and we all support each other. So we'll face this as a team, too, and move on. Got it?"
They nodded again.
"Start warming up. I won't be able to show you any moves today, so you'll practice what you learned last week."
All she wanted was to sit on the edge of the mat and close her eyes to block out the sound and the bright lights. But as the team began stretching, Renata walked up to her. "I'm so sorry, Ms. Taylor. It's my fault he hit you."
Oh, Renata. "That's not true, sweetie."
"If I hadn't distracted you, he wouldn't have been able to hit you. You're really good at tae kwon do. You would have taken him out."
'You took on an angry guy who's twice your weight, and surprise, surprise. He flattened you.'
Raine pushed Connor's words away and took Renata's hand. "Nothing about what happened is your fault. You were being responsible, looking for me because the meet was about to start. You couldn't know what was happening outside the gym." She squeezed Renata's hand. "It wasn't your fault, okay?"
At Renata's tentative nod, Raine let her hand go. "I'm here. I'm mostly okay. So it's all good."
The girl's face lightened. "Okay."
"Go ahead and warm up."
The minutes ticked by painfully slowly. Even without doing anything physical, Raine was exhausted by the time they finished. A headache centered behind her injured eye throbbed, and her shoulder felt as if someone was stabbing it with a hot poker.
Bella. As soon as she talked to Bella, she could call a cab and go home.
After what seemed like hours, the girls began to trickle out of the locker room and leave the gym. Bella was the last one to appear. She walked toward Raine, the turtleneck clutched in her hand. The bruises around her neck were yellowsh-green, but they still looked like the imprints of fingers.
As Raine stared at Bella's bruises, she circled her own wrist, touched each of the finger-shaped bruises. Bella was just like her. Bella couldn't fight her father by herself. She'd needed help. Needed someone to carry part of the burden for her.
She closed her eyes. Oh, God. Connor was right.
She was an idiot.
"Thank you for letting me use your turtleneck." The girl held it out to Raine, who took it from her.
"I'd tell you to keep it, but you won't need it anymore." Raine's smile probably looked as forced as it sounded.
The girl's eyes flickered, but she didn't say a thing.
"He's not coming home, you know." Raine laid her hand on Bella's arm, and the girl flinched. Raine let her hand drop.
"He always comes home. No matter what."
"Not this time. Did you talk to your mother about what's going to happen, Bella?"
She swallowed and looked away. "I didn't have to. He'll be back
in a day or two, and it will be worse."
"He won't be back, Bella." Raine wanted to hug her, but couldn't bear the thought of making her flinch again. "Didn't the police talk to you?"
The girl shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah. But the police don't tell the truth. They lied to us before."
"When did they lie?"
"They told her to get a restraining order. They said he would have to stay away from us. But he didn't care. He came back anyway."
Raine was pretty sure Bella's mother hadn't gotten that restraining order. The guy had been living with them. "Bella, he's not coming back. Not for a very long time," she said gently.
"She always lets him come back."
Raine laid her fingers on Bella's arm and felt the girl flinch again. But she didn't pull away. "It was hard for your mother to make good choices when she was always scared." Genie had made bad choices, too, and she paid with her life. Bella's mother was lucky.
"He's not coming back this time. It's not up to your mother – she wasn't the one he hit. He hit me. He hit Detective Donovan. I'm pressing charges, and your father is in big trouble for hitting a police officer."
Bella looked confused. "So my mother has no say in it?"
"No. Not this time." Which was why Raine had goaded Abrietto until he snapped. "Detective Jennings and Detective Donovan told me they're going to ask for a very high bail. More than your mother can pay. So your stepfather will stay in jail until his trial, and then he'll be sent to prison."
"Are you sure about that?" The dawning hope in the girl's eyes was painful to see.
"Positive. You'll be an adult by the time he gets out of prison. Unless your mother has a pile of money and can bail him out."
Bella shook her head slowly. "She doesn't."
"What about your stepfather's parents? Or your mother's? Would they bail him out?"
"I don't think so, but we don't see them much. My father..." she touched the bruised area on her neck, "he doesn't let us visit them."
"You can visit them now."
Bella drew a deep breath and stood straight. "Thank you, Ms. Taylor." She touched the bruise on Raine's face with a shaking hand. "I'm sorry he hurt you. But I'm glad he's not coming home."
Trust Me (The Donovan Family Book 4) Page 13
