This was what love was about.
And love was exactly what Owen Marston realized he felt for his wife.
Chapter Eleven
Izzy heard the uneven limp of Owen behind her. “What are you doing?” he asked.
She smiled to herself and continued through the door that led down the steps to the garage, a box in her arms. “I’m learning a new language while teaching myself tiddly winks.”
“Okay, fine. Laugh at me.” He sounded out of sorts, but nowhere near the dark mood he’d been in after their visit to the fire station a few days before. This one was more of a boyish, it’s-a-rainy-day-and-there’s-nothing-to-do variety. He was walking better and his wrist was starting to itch beneath the plaster.
“He’s bored,” Izzy whispered to herself as she hitched the box higher in her hands and set it on one of the two towers she’d created. This latest carton had been delivered that morning, but she’d moved the others down here before. There were twelve altogether now, and at some point she was going to have to find a new storage spot for them. There were other tasks on her list first, however.
She climbed the steps only to find Owen waiting for her at the top. Leaning on his cane, he wrapped his casted arm around her back and pulled her close for a kiss. With a little sigh, she melted against him. For better or worse—just like their marriage vows—they’d been sleeping together since the fire station visit.
“You got up too early this morning,” he complained, nuzzling a sensitive spot below her jaw. His mouth skittered down her neck. “Let’s go back to bed.”
Goose bumps broke over her skin. Yes. They could go back to bed and she could pull him over her body just like warm covers and make the world go away. But no, today she had made plans that required looking the world in the eye.
Owen couldn’t hide anymore, and she was going to have to find a way to break that truth to him.
She broke out of his hold instead and tromped up the stairs toward the third level that housed the bedrooms. “Later,” she said, looking down at him with a smile.
He groaned in mock frustration. “Isabelllllla.”
She laughed. He drew her name out like that when she did things to make him crazy, like order him to stay completely still while she inspected the heated skin of his chest…with her tongue.
Up in the room where she kept her things but no longer slept, she started folding the small pile of clean laundry on her bed. She didn’t hear Owen until he spoke from the threshold of the door. “What are you doing?”
His brows were lowered and there was a frown on his face. “Izzy?”
She had no idea what he was talking about. She looked around the room. It was neat and clean, and her small suitcase, sitting open on top of the long dresser, was, as always, well organized. With a short pile of T-shirts in one hand, she crossed to it and tucked the clothes into the appropriate corner. “Is there something wrong?”
“Why are you packing?” he asked.
“Packing?” She frowned, then realized that he must never have peeked into the bedroom she’d slept in when she’d first arrived. “Oh. This is just…just how I live. Out of suitcases. I never put things in drawers.”
He crossed the carpeting to sit on the end of her bed. His hand idly played with the small heap of not-yet-folded underthings a few inches away. She watched him toy with the delicate lace on a pair of just-washed thong panties that she vividly remembered him stripping off her one steamy night.
He’d parted her legs, then kneeled low so he could taste her there. “Sweet,” he’d said, looking up. “Hot.” She’d already been on fire, her nerve endings crackling and sparking like live wires after a storm.
But the storm had been yet to come. He’d bent down again, holding her knees wide so that he could keep her open as he tongued and tasted her there, coiling the desire inside her belly until it moved lower and lower and then spun out in a great frenzied whiplash of a release.
Now, she turned away from him so he wouldn’t see how affected she was just by him touching the clothes that weren’t even on her body. That would tighten his hold on her, if he knew. And everything she’d been planning was about loosening the ties between them.
“Izzy, sweetheart.”
“Hmm?”
“Look at me,” he commanded.
If she refused, he’d make something out of that, too, so she whirled around and gave him a brilliant smile. “What?”
He was twirling a tiny pair of leopard-print panties on his forefinger. An unholy grin lit up his face. “These make me want to growl.”
Heat shot up her face again and she stomped over to grab all the underwear, including the pair now dangling from his finger. She shoved the handful into an interior pocket of her suitcase. “There. All done. Now can we please leave behind the topic of my clothes?”
He shook his head, his grin dying. “I still think it’s odd that you haven’t unpacked the entire time you’ve been here.”
“I told you. I always live out of my suitcase.” It made it so much easier to move out and move on, a lesson she’d learned early. “If you don’t keep your belongings close, you might inadvertently leave something of value behind.”
There was a long pause. “Oh, Isabella,” he finally said. “Sometimes you sucker punch me without even meaning to.”
“I don’t have a clue as to what you’re talking about.” The way he was looking at her made her stomach jump up and down in a very unpleasant manner, she thought, frowning at him. “I’ve been traveling this way since childhood—”
“Exactly.” He caught her hand and drew her close to him. “Let’s talk about your traveling childhood.”
“I don’t have time for that.”
He yanked on her hand, pulling her onto his lap. “Sure you do. I was talking to Emily a while back, and—”
“I need to go make lunch.” Izzy struggled to get up, but his cast was pressed against her waist.
“We can have a late lunch. Or I can make lunch. Or we can go out to lunch. Let’s forget about lunch altogether and talk.”
“I’ve invited someone over.” She bit her lip. She’d meant it to be a surprise, but that probably wasn’t fair anyhow.
Owen groaned. “If you say it’s my grandfather…”
“It’s not.”
“Are you sure? Because I know Granddad has been calling you, my lovely home health worker, for daily updates.”
She smiled, because something about the older gentleman tickled her. He was loud and brash and absolutely devoted to his grandson. “And don’t I cover for you every single time? I tell him you’re napping or showering or—”
“Bryce said you once told Granddad I was behind a closed door with a Playboy magazine and couldn’t be disturbed.”
Her mouth fell open and she scrambled off his lap. “I did no such thing!”
Owen laughed. “Okay, then Bryce made that one up.” He brightened. “Tell me it’s my brother coming for lunch and I can think up some fitting way to pay him back. Like, you made brownies for dessert and now he doesn’t get any.”
“No, it’s not Bryce, either,” she said.
Something on her face must have warned him. He sobered, his gaze narrowing. “Who is it, Isabella?”
She retreated for the door, her fluttering heart joining the up-and-down movement of her stomach. “It’s Jerry’s wife. It’s Ellie Palmer.”
He stared at her.
“You didn’t speak to her at all at the fire station that day. You took one look at her and walked out. So she called yesterday to see…to see how you were.” Izzy wiped her palms on her thighs. Her other attempts at interference hadn’t worked, but this time it had to. “What could I say?”
“‘Come over for lunch’ doesn’t seem the most natural first response.” His expression was closed off and he’d crossed his arms over his chest. “But hey, whatever. I’ll get out of the house and out of your hair so you two women can chat.”
“No, no! You…you haven’t been dr
iving.”
“Then it’s about time that I do.” He made to rise.
She leaped over to push him down by the shoulders. It was imperative he meet with Jerry’s widow. It was the necessary final step in his healing process. Once he was emotionally whole again, Izzy could finally walk away from him.
The longer she put that off, the harder walking away would be for her. “Owen, you know you need to speak with Ellie.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Even if just to tell her what you know about Jerry’s last evening.”
“I’m sure other people have told her all about that. We had enchiladas. Somebody at the station just loves to make enchiladas.”
“You had another nightmare last night,” she told him. “I think that means you’ve got to face—”
“Stay out of my head, Izzy.” His voice was low and controlled. “Remember? We made that deal?”
“If I stayed out of your bed,” she reminded him. “But I didn’t, did I? So when I say you’ve got to stop disassociating—”
“‘Disassociating’?” It was Owen who stood now, and he headed for the doorway. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You don’t want to talk about the fire, you don’t want to face Jerry’s widow or visit the station, let alone think about going back there to work.”
“Are you calling me a coward?”
“No, of course not, but—”
“Because the lily-livered one is you, darling. Making up stories about your perfect family life. Telling tales that aren’t true so you can keep me out of your head.”
Her heart stuttered. “This is not about—”
“You married me but you couldn’t even commit to twelve hours as my wife before you had to run away.” Owen’s blue eyes burned. “I know why now, though, don’t I? You just told me. You just told me that you have to keep all your belongings close so you don’t leave anything behind by mistake.”
“Owen…”
“I was a damned fool that day for believing I’d found the woman I wanted to marry and whom I’d love for the rest of my life. It had only been three days, a Las Vegas weekend, but I was willing to gamble my future on you Izzy. Yeah. I certainly was a chump.”
She swallowed. “Owen…”
“Because you’re too afraid to take that same kind of chance. You’ll never risk your heart, will you, Izzy? You’ll never let anyone close enough to touch it.”
She left. She took that suitcase of hers—all packed up as if she’d planned this all along—and walked out on him. Owen couldn’t blame her—
Hell, yes, he blamed her!
But he wasn’t surprised. After all, after Vegas he’d figured her to be his once and future runaway bride. Going after her was an option, but what was the use? He might think himself in love with her, but she didn’t want to be married to him. And hell, after how he’d failed Jerry, Owen wasn’t sure what he wanted for himself.
But he wasn’t a coward. Shoving his hand through his hair, he nursed his bad temper and thought of all the ways that Izzy had been wrong about him.
He hadn’t been distancing himself from the fire. It was all too real, every day, every minute in his head. Where did she think his survivor’s guilt came from?
Oh, yeah, he knew what it was. And he was aware he was experiencing it. So he tried telling himself it was the fire that was at fault for Jerry’s death. Sometimes he believed it. Other times, he couldn’t understand how all their training, their physical fitness, their equipment couldn’t have made a difference and kept that young man, that young man about to be a father, alive.
It was then that he couldn’t imagine going back to the job that he’d loved because he couldn’t believe in the point of it any longer. He didn’t have faith that his actions could make a difference.
And he was afraid there wasn’t a person or a way to talk himself out of that feeling. Even Izzy, even thinking that he was in love with Izzy, hadn’t budged that bleak shadow on his soul.
The doorbell rang.
Izzy? God, he couldn’t stop himself from hoping it was her, because even though she’d run over his heart twice on her rush to get out of his life, the stupid thing was still beating.
He wasn’t fleet on his feet, but he hurried as quick as he could, flinging open the door to see Jerry’s widow. Ellie Palmer.
Hell. He hadn’t thought she’d be arriving. After the argument, he’d assumed Izzy would call Ellie and renege on the invitation. But here she was, looking pale. A small smile curved her lips. “Hi, Owen.”
“Hi. I—” What could he say—“Come in”—but that?
The very, very pregnant woman’s movements were slow as she crossed the threshold and gingerly sat down on the chair he indicated. She tugged the hem of her maternity dress toward her knees as her gaze roamed the room. “Um, Izzy invited me over.”
“Right, right.” Shoving his hand through his hair, he took a seat on the sofa opposite her. “She had to step out.”
“Oh. Will she be gone long?”
“I’m not sure.” Probably for the rest of my life. “What I can do is have her call you when she, uh, gets back.”
She shook her head. “It was you I wanted to talk to anyway.” Her hand smoothed over the huge bump of her belly. “Do you think I could have a glass of water?”
“Oh, sure. I’m sorry…can I also get you something to eat?”
“No.” She grimaced. “I couldn’t eat. The water sounds great, though.”
He limped away. “Coming right up.”
She watched him as he returned from the kitchen and crossed the living room with her glass. “You’re moving around pretty well.”
“Yeah.” Jerry wasn’t moving at all. She didn’t say the words, but Owen heard them in his head anyway. “And you, you’re feeling all right?”
Her free hand, the one without the water glass, rubbed her stomach again. “Okay. Sort of like an overstuffed olive, though.”
He managed a laugh at her little joke. “You have family coming to help when the baby’s born?”
She nodded. “My mom and dad. Maybe I’ll move closer to them afterward. I’m not certain.” When she brought her water to her mouth, he noticed her hand was shaking.
Nerves because she was talking to him? “Are you sure you’re feeling okay, Ellie?”
“I just want to tell you about Jerry. About how much he liked working with you.”
“Oh.” Oh, God.
“He always said you were the calmest in a crisis. The guy he liked by his side when things were heating up.”
“I couldn’t save him.” The words came from the deepest pit of Owen’s belly. “I’m so damn sorry, Ellie. I didn’t see, I didn’t know, I wish…I so wish…” He closed his eyes, replaying it all again. The darkness, the fire, Jerry’s grin. The memory stung his eyes and he squeezed them tighter.
Owen could remember the details clearly now, every one. He saw that truth, that there had been nothing he could do to forestall Jerry’s death, but the fact of it still clawed at him. “Ellie…”
Glass shattered.
He jolted, his eyes flying open. Across from him, the pregnant woman was standing, broken glass at her feet. Wetness stained her maternity dress.
“Don’t move,” he cautioned, rising. “I’ll clean up the water and the glass, but I don’t want you to risk getting cut.”
She was looking at him, her eyes round. “That’s not all that happened. I got to my feet and…”
“And…? Ah.” Understanding dawned. “Your water broke.”
Her head bobbed up and down in agreement. “I…oh, boy.” Her hands clutched at her belly.
Owen hurried to her. Contraction pains already? “Deep breaths, Ellie. Deep breaths.”
Her eyes widened. “It’s really hurting.”
“I know,” he said, keeping his voice soothing. “Let’s get you down the hall. There’s a bedroom in there where you can lie down while I find some dry things for you to wear and call your docto
r.”
She held his arm as they made the few steps down the hall and then squeezed tighter, causing them both to halt as another contraction hit. “Um…”
He kept his gaze on hers and breathed in and out, trying to silently encourage her to do the same. “You’re okay,” he said softly. “You’re okay.”
When the pain passed, he moved as quick as he could, hurriedly laying down some towels when she protested about getting onto the bed. Then he went upstairs to retrieve a T-shirt and sweat pants, and helped her back up and toward the bathroom where she could change.
She had another contraction on the way in, interrupting her recitation of her doctor’s name and phone number. Before he’d even had a chance to dial it, the bathroom door was back open. Ellie stood there, in only his big T-shirt, which fell all the way to her knees.
“Um…Owen…” There was a clammy sweat on her face, and when he reached for her, she grabbed on to his fingers in a viselike grip.
As he helped her stretch back out on the bed, he decided that dialing 911 was a sounder idea.
When he hung up the phone, she was having yet another contraction. “Owen,” her voice was faint. “I think…I think…”
He squeezed her hands. “Don’t worry. I know how to deliver a baby, though I’m sure the paramedics will—”
“Owen!” her voice rose to a breathless squeak. “I think the baby’s coming.”
“All right. Keep breathing, honey.” He met her gaze. “Do you want me to check?”
She nodded vigorously, and then her back bowed as another pain overtook her.
In the bathroom he found another big towel to give her modesty. When it was draped over her legs, he tucked into the kitchen where he thoroughly washed his good hand and wrapped plastic wrap around his cast and other fingers. Then he returned to the bedroom and gently positioned Ellie in order to assess the situation.
Good Lord. He glanced up to see her anxious gaze on his face and flashed her a reassuring smile. “Well, you might want to prepare yourself for a boy who doesn’t have much patience for authority figures. I don’t think he’s going to wait for the EMTs to arrive.”
Always Mine Page 13
