by Maya Banks
Max spoke up for the first time. “She’s right, baby.” His voice was tender and coaxing. “And you know how fierce Callie is when she’s set her mind to something. She’s sick with strep throat and a hundred-and-four fever but hell if she wasn’t getting on a plane to come bring you home.”
Lauren smiled faintly. “My brother sounds afraid of you.”
Callie grinned. “That’s because he’s a smart man.”
Lauren’s expression grew more troubled. “I don’t know about this.”
Callie took her hands and squeezed. “There’s nothing to know or think about. There’s nothing for you here. Come home with us and heal. There’s no better place to be than surrounded by the Colters.”
Tears gathered in Lauren’s dark eyes and her lips trembled. Then finally she nodded. “Okay. I’ll come.”
CHAPTER
7
I’M starting to get worried,” Dillon said bluntly.
He folded his arms over his chest and stared over the bar at his two brothers seated on bar stools. Seth and Michael had come into the pub during their lunch hour on the day the pub was closed.
Usually Dillon would be home. With Lily. Usually if Seth was free for lunch, he came home to be with Lily. If Michael wasn’t busy at his practice, he would be with her.
But today, they had agreed to meet at Mountain Pass, away from Lily. To discuss … her.
“She’s not herself,” Dillon continued, eyeing the unease on his brothers’ faces. It was an unease he distinctly shared. Something wasn’t right, and it was high time to figure out what the hell it was.
“No,” Michael said wearily. “She isn’t. She puts on a good front, but when she thinks we aren’t looking, she seems … sad. Worried.”
Seth leaned his forehead against the edges of his palms and blew out a deep breath. “God almighty, I don’t know what it could be, but it scares the hell out of me. What if … what if this whole thing isn’t working for her anymore? What if she isn’t happy with the arrangement?”
Seth had voiced the question uppermost in Dillon’s mind. He’d pinpointed Dillon’s number one worry, and judging by the look on Michael’s face, Seth had nailed Michael’s primary concern too.
“Shit,” Dillon muttered.
Michael shook his head, his lips set into a fine line. “No. That can’t be it. It can’t. Lily …”
“Lily what?” Seth demanded. “Lily’s happy? I think we all know that isn’t true right now.”
“We don’t have to assume worst-case scenario,” Dillon pointed out.
“Why the fuck are we sitting here talking about worst-case scenarios?” Michael asked in disgust. “We should be asking her what’s wrong. This speculating is making me crazy.”
“Because we’re all afraid of the answer,” Seth said quietly.
Dillon blew out his breath. “Yeah. Right there. Scared shitless, and I don’t mind admitting it.”
“Do you think Mom knows what’s up?” Michael asked. “She’s been over there a lot lately. I don’t know what they’re up to. Could be nothing. But Mom doesn’t usually come over and kick us out.”
“Could be anything,” Seth said. “She might be working on a Christmas present for the dads. There are a lot of explanations for why Mom would be coming to see Lily all hush-hush.”
Dillon clenched his fist in frustration. “So we’re back to square one. Which is that we have no idea what the hell is going on with the woman we love, no idea how to fix it, because again, we have no idea what it is and we’re all too chickenshit to ask. Have I got it about right?”
Michael gave a disgusted sigh. “That about sums it up.”
“So what do we do?” Dillon asked.
He hated how fucking helpless he felt. Like his entire life was on the line and he had no control over how it turned out. He knew his brothers felt the same because their expressions said it all.
They’d all secretly feared that the relationship wouldn’t work out. It was their number one fear.
Though their fathers had a very nontraditional relationship with their mother, it had never occurred to them that they would follow in the same path. It hadn’t been discussed. No one had ever suggested it. They’d certainly had relationships, flings, whatever the hell you wanted to call them, with other women, and they damn sure hadn’t ever called any of the others up and asked him if he was up for a foursome.
Seth had been the first to make that connection with Lily, but it hadn’t meant that his was any more intense than Michael’s or even Dillon’s own. From the moment Dillon had laid eyes on her, he’d known without a doubt that she was his and that he’d go to any lengths to possess her.
He hadn’t cared that Seth had already staked a claim or that she was in town because she’d come with him. There was no way he could walk away from her and settle for a relationship as her brother-in-law. Oh hell no.
It had taken some discussion between the brothers before they’d realized that they had a huge problem. They were all in love with the same woman and none of them were willing to take a step back.
No one in their family so much as blinked an eye. Hell, no one in the town of Clyde would have been surprised. But Lily?
This wasn’t normal to her. It wasn’t something she’d been exposed to all her life. They’d come at her like fucking bulldozers.
Maybe now she was having some serious second thoughts. Maybe she didn’t like having to juggle three men in a relationship.
It was automatic for Dillon to think back, to try to figure out if he or one of his brothers had been demanding. Expected too much from her. But no, they were always so careful. Because they feared overwhelming her, because they feared pushing her too far.
Fuck it, but this was for the birds. It was time to get their asses home and figure out what the hell was wrong with their woman so they could make it right.
LILY tugged her sweater tighter around her waist as she walked through the small grove of aspens behind the cabin. She loved this trail, especially in fall when the leaves burned gold and were so brilliant to look at that it made her eyes hurt.
She should have taken her heavier coat but she hadn’t planned on going this far. She’d only meant to sit awhile on her bench and stare at the vista through Rose’s memorial.
It had begun to snow, adding another thin layer to the ground cover that crunched beneath her boots. They weren’t due for any heavy snow, at least not today. She hadn’t checked the extended forecast to know what lay beyond.
The last several days had been good because Holly had kept Lily busy with teaching her how to cook. But the downside was that Lily was no closer to knowing how to break the news to her husbands because she hadn’t had time to think.
She was always around someone. She hadn’t had any time alone to just be. To think and consider. To face her fears and resolve to share her secret with the men she loved.
She took her hands out of her pockets and blew on them to warm the tips. She hadn’t brought her gloves either, but she wasn’t so cold that she was compelled to return to the cabin. Not yet.
There was a point she wanted to reach, where she could look out and see forever. Over the valley and down the ridge. The most beautiful country she’d ever seen.
This was her home. She had to constantly remind herself that it was hers. She had a place in the world.
And now so would her child.
She paused, taking that last step, and then rested her hand on the trunk of an aspen as she peered out, taking in the breathtaking view.
After a moment, she leaned her back against the tree and soaked in her surroundings. The crisp, clean smell of the air. The scent of pine. The tickle of snowflakes as they drifted lazily down, melting on her cheeks.
Her breath came out in a fog, and after a while, her breathing slowed and evened out. For the last few days, she’d existed in denial. She hadn’t allowed herself to think about the baby, much less dwell on the details. Boy. Girl. Who would it look like?
; She’d busied herself with Holly and immersed herself in family, putting on a brave front, not allowing them to see her worry or fear.
But it hadn’t helped. She had decisions to make. She had fears to face. All she had to do was reach out and ask for help. Seth, Michael, and Dillon loved her. She had no doubts there. They’d do anything in the world to make her happy, and they’d help her work through her conflicting emotions about her pregnancy.
She just had to muster the nerve to blurt it all out.
With a resigned sigh, she pushed off the tree and started retracing her steps back to the cabin.
As she drew nearer, she frowned. She could swear she heard her name.
She quickened her step through the aspens but stopped when she heard the distinctive call. It was Seth and he was yelling her name.
Worried that something was wrong, she jogged through the snow, taking care not to slip as she headed down the incline.
She came to an abrupt halt when she broke into the clearing and saw all three of her husbands spread out behind the cabin, obviously looking … for her.
CHAPTER
8
MICHAEL was the first to see her. He turned, did a double take, and then charged toward her, calling to his brothers the entire way.
Lily’s breath caught in her throat and her pulse accelerated wildly. There was fierce determination—and worry—in her husbands’ gazes and she knew that no matter whether she was prepared or not, the time had come. There was no way around it.
Michael ran up to her, took her arms in his hands. “Lily! What on earth are you doing up here? We were worried sick. You aren’t even dressed for the cold.”
Even as the questions poured out, he pulled her into his side, wrapping as much of his coat around her as he could while providing her with his body warmth.
His worried gaze cut to his brothers as they ran up, snow kicking up from their boots.
Dillon stood back a little hesitant. “Lily?”
She sent him a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, Dillon. I just went for a walk through the aspen grove. It’s such a beautiful day.”
Seth frowned. “You aren’t dressed to be out tromping around in the snow. You don’t even have a coat or gloves.”
She shrugged. “I hadn’t planned on going that far. I went to sit out on the bench and got the urge to take a walk. I was just heading back. I haven’t been out that long.”
“Well, let’s get you back inside,” Michael said. He propelled her toward the house, still holding her tightly against his side.
With a sigh she settled against him, letting his solid strength seep into her body. She leaned her head against his chest and blinked away the snowflakes trapped on her eyelashes.
It was, as she’d said, a truly magnificent day. She loved winter on her mountain. She loved the cabin that Dillon had built himself and later added on to when it had been decided that they would all live here.
Now she looked at it with different eyes. Holly and the dads’ cabin … it was where all the Colter children had grown up. There was a strong sense of home there. You couldn’t walk into their house without being swamped by love. History. The sense of family. There were pictures everywhere. Of Seth, Michael, and Dillon, and then Callie, who’d come along later and had been a surprise.
That house was a symbol of everything she wanted most in the world. She’d always been a little awed by it. The family gatherings on the weekends for dinner. The easy way the Colters demonstrated their love for one another.
She wanted all of that for herself. She wanted to start a new chapter in a solid legacy. She wanted her home to be filled with love and laughter. Children. Oh God, children.
Did she have the courage to face her worst fears?
When they got to the house, they filed through the back door. Dillon bent to take off her boots while Seth took her sweater after Michael unwrapped her from his coat.
She headed for the kitchen, thinking hot chocolate would be nice, but then she stopped and turned, cocking her head.
“What are you all doing home so early anyway? At the same time, even.”
One of them being home early was nothing uncommon. But all three at the same time?
There was definitely something up, and the more she caught their gazes and the determination etched in their faces, the more she realized that she was the reason for their early arrival.
Seth caught her hand as she reached for a mug. He gently took the cup away and kissed her forehead. “If you want hot chocolate, I’ll get it for you. Why don’t you go into the living room? Dillon will build a fire so it’s warm. We want to talk to you.”
A nervous flutter rose from her belly into her throat.
“O-okay.”
He gently nudged her in Michael’s direction and set about making the hot cocoa. Michael twined his fingers with hers and pulled her toward the living room, where Dillon was already lighting the kindling under the logs in the fireplace.
Michael guided her toward the big, fluffy chair that was her favorite, and she reluctantly let him settle her down. It took all her control not to fidget. She wasn’t sure she could sit here calmly and have a rational conversation like they were obviously wanting.
She needed to pace. To work out some of her nervous energy. How could she sit here and look them in the eye when her heart was about to beat out of her chest?
Dillon stood up from his crouch in front of the hearth and turned just as Seth walked in carrying her mug of chocolate. She took it with shaky hands but quickly set it on the table next to her chair before she sloshed it all over herself.
She pushed herself out of the chair, not able to sit still another moment. Michael caught her hand in his firm grasp as if he was afraid to let her go.
“What’s wrong, baby?” he asked quietly.
Her first instinct was denial, to say nothing, act as if she had no idea what he was talking about. She tugged her hand away instead and turned, only to land against Dillon’s muscled chest.
His agitation was evident in his tense, coiled muscles. For a long moment, he held on to her, his chest heaving against her as he gripped her. He buried his face in her hair and stroked one hand down her back.
“What’s going on, Lily?” he asked. “Whatever it is, tell us so we can make you happy again.”
She pulled away and smiled. That part was easy even when her insides were in such turmoil. Because all she had to do was think about them and their unwavering love and it brought her instant joy—and peace. Then she reached up to frame his strong jaw. “You always make me happy, Dillon. Always.” She took a deep steadying breath before she made her confession. “I’m just scared right now, and I don’t know what to do.”
He gathered her hands in his and pulled them down between their bodies. His gaze pierced her, right to the heart, so intense. “You don’t ever have to be afraid.”
The vehemence in his voice was reassuring. And she knew. She knew all of this logically. If there was one thing in this world she was sure of was that they’d always protect her and she really didn’t have to be afraid. But sometimes logic was so simple. Sometimes fear overran all else. Even common sense.
She swallowed hard and then turned so she could see the others. Seth was staring at her, his blue eyes fierce, but he waited. Tense. Stiff. As if he feared what it was she had to say.
She’d made such a muck of this. Because of her fears, she’d made them afraid.
This wasn’t the way it should have happened. She should have made a special dinner. Should have asked them how their day went. Snuggled on the couch. Gone to bed, made love, and in the aftermath told them that they were going to be fathers.
And now there was no escape. No do-overs. No way she could pretend nothing was wrong and then plan the big moment for the next night. She’d utterly ruined everything and it was too late to salvage the mess she’d made.
“Talk to us, Lily,” Seth pleaded. “We don’t like to see you unhappy. Is it …” He broke off, rubbed th
e back of his neck with his palm. Then he dropped his hand and stared back at her with tortured eyes. “Is it us? Are you no longer happy with the arrangement we have?”
Her mouth dropped open in shock. “What? No!” Oh God. It was what they all believed. She’d done this. Made them doubt her commitment because they’d noticed her unhappiness and her distance.
She closed her eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
It came out barely a whisper, the words so final. When she opened her eyes, they were staring at her in total surprise.
The multitude of emotions that registered on their faces was hard to track. There was relief. They’d obviously expected something far worse. There was uncertainty, as if they weren’t sure they could express their happiness over such news. And there was worry and fear because they knew that of all things, she feared having another child the most.
Seth blew out his breath and wiped a hand over his mouth. He was always, or at least usually, so self-assured. As sheriff he had to be, and he always knew what to say. But now he seemed, for lack of a better word, lost.
Michael looked shell-shocked, and for the first time she realized how just blurting out such news had affected them. Damn it, but she’d just ruined what should have been a special moment. Perhaps one of the most special moments of their lives. She knew how badly they wanted children. A large family like they’d grown up in. They’d been patient and understanding with her fears. They’d never pushed her. Not once. They’d been willing to wait as long as she needed, or to forego having children altogether if that was her wish.
But deep down, she’d known how much they wanted their own family.
Now she’d made a complete and utter mess and she was horrified by her selfishness.
Tears stung her eyes and she put a hand to her mouth to stifle the sob choking her. They’d done so much to make her happy, and she couldn’t even give them this one thing without making it sound like the end of the world?
