by Tasha Black
She has a dimple on her left cheek, like Jessica does.
“Wow, she’s smiling,” the nurse holding her says in awe.
“Miranda,” Jessica says, breathing the name she would have given to the girl.
“Babies this young can’t smile - it’s probably just gas,” the other nurse replies, returning with the envelope. “But I’m glad you got to see it, dear. Are you still sure about all this?”
Jessica closes her eyes, tears leaking from them as she nods.
She doesn’t look as they take her daughter away. In the envelope is a locket, it belonged to her grandmother - the baby’s great-grandmother. One day, when she is older, the little girl will ask her real mother about the woman who gave birth to her. Jessica is glad to know that her mother will have something beautiful to give her on that day, something to make her know to her bones how much she is loved.
In the waiting room, Jessica opened her eyes, shaken to the core by the return of this unexpected echo from her past.
Sorrow washed over her like a weight she had been carrying without even knowing.
No wonder she had asked that fae queen to take her memories.
She shot out of her chair, restless with the recovered knowledge that she had a daughter. They had a daughter. And she was out there. Somewhere.
“Miss, do you want your tea?” the nurse called after her, but Jessica didn’t even turn around.
Red hair, a dimple, a locket, all of it seemed familiar, seemed…
She stopped in the center of the hallway, thunderstruck.
The woman on the news.
The woman had red hair and a locket and the dimple… It had been twenty-five years… She would be…
“Miranda,” Jessica said.
The kind nurse must have told the baby’s adoptive mother the name Jessica had thoughtlessly murmured as they took the baby away.
And the mother must have honored her wish, even though she’d never asked, and named the baby Miranda.
“I have to find her,” she said to herself as she paced down the hallway again.
“Hey, where did you go?” Cullen’s voice seemed to come out of nowhere, startling her.
She opened her mouth and closed it again, not sure where to begin. It was too much.
“Come on, I’m buzzing with power,” he told her “Let’s go find my brothers and seal the deal. You can tell me what’s up on the way.”
17
Cullen
Cullen drove quickly, unsure of where he was going, only knowing that he had to find his brothers while this surge of power was still alive inside him.
Jessica sat beside him, silently gazing out the window.
She seemed a little off. She had wandered off at the hospital and then gaped at him when he found her like she’d forgotten the whole reason they were back in the mortal realm.
“Are you okay?” he asked her gently.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her turn to him, studying his face as if trying to gauge something.
He focused on the road, allowing her to take her time.
“There’s something we should talk about,” she said after a moment.
A flash of premonition struck him.
“The mansion,” he murmured. “If they’re not there, someone will be.”
“Sorry?” Jessica asked.
“No, I’m sorry, my love,” he told her. “It just hit me that the mansion is where we should go. There will be someone there to see the dragon. And as soon as they do, the Historical Society will be alerted, and my brothers and their queens will storm the place.”
“Oh,” she said, nodding.
She didn’t seem all that excited.
“Listen, I know this seems dangerous,” he told her. “But I promise you, I’ve never felt this strong before. It’s like my blood is on fire.”
She nodded and gazed out the window.
They were passing the woods that formed the border between Tarker’s Hollow and Rosethorn Valley. He couldn’t imagine what was so interesting out there.
“Wait, you were going to tell me something,” he said. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”
“Oh, it’s fine,” she said. “We can talk about it later.”
He slipped the hourglass out from inside his shirt and glanced down at it.
The sand was half gone. Their remaining time was moving erratically - there was no telling how much they really had left.
“Shit,” he said, trying to tuck the thing back in his shirt.
“What is it?” she asked.
He didn’t get it back in before she saw it.
Her face went pale.
“It’s okay, Jessica,” he told her, stopping short of promising. He was fae and could not lie. But if it was in his power to stop the Queen of Silence, he would do it.
They drove on until the straight, smooth road of the hollow gave way to the winding stretch that brought them closer to the mansion.
Cullen placed a hand on Jessica’s thigh, hoping he could transmit some tiny comfort to her. But his queen was strange and still, keeping vigil with her own thoughts.
As soon as I’m done with my brothers, I can make things right with her.
But he sensed a sort of emptiness in her that hadn’t been there when they had reunited in Faerie.
He reached the driveway for the mansion, then realized that maybe it would be best not to take the car all the way up. It might give them away, if anyone was already there.
“I’m going to park down here,” he told Jessica, heading to the tiny complex where the Barrel Grocery, post office, free library, and café made up the entire downtown of Rosethorn Valley.
He parked the car behind the café, and they got out.
“You know what, I kind of needed one more cup of coffee,” Jessica said. “Is it okay if I meet you up there?”
“Of course,” he said. “I can stay with you, if you want.”
He felt torn, of course he wanted to be with her, but he was anxious to put his power to work, and it might be better for Jessica to stay behind a little.
“No, no,” she said. “I’ll be right behind you.”
He pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket and handed it to her along with his car keys.
“Take your time,” he told her. “Maybe you shouldn’t be there for the battle at all. It’s going to be dangerous. You can go home if you want and wait for me there.”
He expected her to protest, but she nodded in a distracted way. She was probably just worried about him.
“Jessica,” he said, “I love you so much. This will be over soon, I promise. They’re going to be so sorry they tried to imprison me.”
She smiled up at him, but her eyes didn’t twinkle.
He kissed her forehead, soaking in her sweet fragrance.
When he pulled back, her eyes were closed.
“Good luck,” she said.
He didn’t bother telling her that the King of Pain did not rely on luck.
He just nodded and jogged off toward the mansion.
18
Jessica
Jessica watched as Cullen headed for the mansion on the hill without looking back.
She wanted nothing more than to talk with him about their daughter. But he was too focused on his anger to notice that she needed him.
Memory struck her like lightning, and she closed her eyes.
She is so happy she is nearly bursting.
They never talked about starting a family. But somehow, she knows to her core that Cullen will be happy to know she is pregnant.
She clutches the test stick in her hand, almost forgetting to put it in her bag before exploding out the front door to get into her car.
On the drive to the city, she pictures what motherhood will be like. She envisions long walks with a stroller, sunlight dappling the sidewalk as she watches tiny feet kicking. She can almost feel the baby, warm and tiny in her arms. She can hear Cullen’s laughter when the little one grabs for h
is face.
These happy fantasies warm her heart, and by the time she arrives at Cullen’s office, she feels like she could float away.
The secretaries usher her into his office. He waves for her to sit, but he doesn’t get off the phone.
He is angry, screaming at whoever is on the other side of the call. Whatever is going on with the union workers on his job site is not what he expected, and Cullen Ward doesn’t like surprises.
Suddenly, the room feels too warm and her news feels hollow.
As Cullen’s face grows red, Jessica feels she is shrinking.
Something is said that ignites more of his fury, and he stands so violently that his chair topples over behind him.
Jessica flinches. She stands and prepares to leave.
Cullen holds up a finger in her direction, then jots something down, pressing so hard the pen nearly rips the paper. He holds it up. It says, “Come back for coffee? 2pm?”
She nods and slips out of the room.
Jessica opened her eyes just as Cullen disappeared into the woods beyond the mansion.
It has come back to her, all her memories of her life before.
She did go back to Cullen for coffee that day, or at least she tried. That was when the assistant got screamed at, and Jessica decided to leave for good.
She had rented a room in Springton, without letting him know where she had gone. With his resources, he could have tracked her down. She expected him to turn up every day at first. But then it became clear he had more important things to worry about.
She had made arrangements with the adoption agency, asking the nice lady there to choose a family for her. Looking through the book of hopeful couples left her feeling empty and missing Cullen like he was her actual beating heart.
But she knew she couldn’t bring a baby into a relationship with a father who had such a frightening temper.
As much as she liked to think of Cullen as the sweet man who brought her flowers and went for hikes with her in the woods, he was just as much the ruthless businessman. He owned a pharmaceutical company that literally profited from other people’s pain.
Right then, in the first bloom of their love, he treated her like an angel. But she had seen her own parents’ marriage dissolve into anger.
And she did not want to be on the wrong side of Cullen’s anger, not ever. The idea of having a family with a man like that frightened her.
She knew she should be grateful that she had seen his true colors before it was too late. But at the time, it was hard to feel anything but regret.
So she had gone through with her plan. She had been strong and not called him at any stage of the pregnancy. She had endured her labor alone. She had let the baby go, even though it meant losing a part of her soul when the nurse carried the baby away.
But she had made one fatal error.
When she was recovered from the birth, she planned to go to Glacier City. She hoped to start a new life out west, where she wouldn’t be tempted every day to go to Cullen or try to find the baby.
She had shipped her possessions to be held in storage out there, and even bought her plane ticket.
But the night before she was to leave, her resolve broke.
She found herself walking the woods near Cullen’s home in Rosethorn Valley, soaking in the remnants of what could have been, one last time.
I’ll just stand in the trees and see his silhouette in the window. That’s all I need. Then I’ll move on.
She knew she might see him with another woman. But even that would be a good thing. It would galvanize her, make her feel steady in her decision.
The night air had been cool and damp, the stars burning with a particular fury.
She had just reached the grassy circle from which she could see the light of the big house’s windows when she felt a shiver in the air.
A beautiful woman in a gown that looked like it was made of raindrops on cobwebs appeared before her, eyes glittering.
The Queen of Silence.
Of course she hadn’t known it at the time, but there was no mistaking the strength of the magic she held.
“You miss him?” the woman asked quietly.
The air felt thick with the words Jessica couldn’t say.
At last she nodded.
“Let’s make a bargain,” the woman offered with a half-smile. “I can give you happiness again.”
“I can’t be with him again,” Jessica said, choking on the words.
“That isn’t what I offered,” the woman said. “I offered you happiness, which is more than that princeling can give you.”
You were not supposed to make bargains with the folk. That was the point of all the fairy tales and legends she’d collected for her book. No human ever came out on top of such a bargain.
“Can you make me forget?” Jessica heard herself asking, the lure of relief from her pain too great.
“What do you want to forget?”
“Everything,” Jessica said flatly. “Please.”
“You will come and live in fae as my guest for one day,” the woman said. “And in exchange, I will take away your memories and give you the happiness you seek.”
“Just one day?” Jessica asked, feeling better about the bargain.
“Of course you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, but yes,” the woman replied. “One day.”
“Yes,” Jessica said, before she could change her mind.
Suddenly, she was flying.
She’d vaguely sensed that they were traveling across a bridge, the glittering woman holding her in her arms like a baby.
By the time they had reached the other side, Jessica had forgotten everything.
The sky had shone bright and clear, the emerald grass of Faerie was damp with morning dew, and somewhere in the distance, a horse whickered.
The scent of tea roses filled the air
19
Jessica
Jessica trembled and looked around, desperate to bring herself back to the present, to reassure herself that in spite of her own stupidity, she really was here, back in her own realm.
She began walking aimlessly as she tried to sort through her thoughts.
As terrible as her memories were, they were hers.
How could she have been so foolish?
The Queen of Silence had truly bested her. First of all, having forgotten everything, she had no way to remind the queen that their bargain was over. She had not remembered that the bargain had happened at all, or that she had another life.
And even if she had, Jessica had not aged a day in that place, even though twenty-five years had passed in the mortal realm.
She had been there for only one day.
But she had never expected that day to repeat itself nearly ten thousand times.
“Excuse me,” someone said.
She stepped to the side and two women with baby strollers walked past her to the café.
That could have been me.
But it was a silly thought. She had been young and unready. And her daughter was grown up now, and astonishingly accomplished, it seemed.
Things had gone perfectly for Miranda, and Jessica couldn’t have been more proud to know she had played a part in the other woman’s life, even if it was anonymously.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been walking, or exactly where she’d gone, but she’d ended up right back at the café where Cullen had left her. She decided to take it as a sign and get that cup of coffee after all. It would be good to sit and sip and decide what to do with her life, now that her memories were intact again.
She rounded the corner and looked in the glassy storefront of the café.
At first, she thought she was seeing things because she had Miranda on her mind. Surely, that was the reason she was looking in on a beautiful young woman with titian hair and a dimple on her left cheek, smiling and laughing with her friends.
“It’s not her,” Jessica whispered to herself, closing her eyes. “It can’t be her.”<
br />
But when she opened them again, she saw that it was unmistakably Miranda. Sunlight from the window glinted on the copper locket around her neck, and Jessica felt tears prickle her eyelids.
She froze for a moment, not wanting to intrude, but desperate to drink in the sound of her daughter’s voice, if only for a moment.
I’ll just get my coffee and go again, she told herself. I won’t spy, or foist myself on her and her friends.
Besides, it wasn’t like Miranda would believe her anyway. Thanks to the silent queen’s magic, they looked practically the same age.
She headed inside before she could lose her nerve.
The bells over the door jingled merrily, like it was just a normal, ordinary day in Rosethorn Valley. Like a magical prisoner with a spotty memory wasn’t getting coffee next to her long-lost daughter, while the child’s father summoned a dragon in the woods up the hill.
The boy behind the counter gave her a friendly wave, but he was talking with a baseball cap-wearing man with a cane, who leaned on the counter as he spoke in a low, intense voice.
Jessica was surprised to recognize that it was the man from the hospital. He was still wearing his WORLD’S GREATEST GRANDPA cap. He must be a local to have ended up at the café so soon after leaving the hospital.
“That’s my little brother,” the older man was saying. “So it hurts, I’m not gonna lie. But I’ll tell you, the strangest thing happened when I was at the waiting room.”
“Yeah?” the kid asked. He looked like he was really listening, not just pretending.
“I was talking to the doc, and this guy walks past me, young guy, dressed kinda fancy,” the older man confided. “Anyway, he puts his hand on my shoulder and all of a sudden, I got this… feeling. I don’t know how to explain it, but…I just knew Jim was at peace, and that everything was going to be okay.”
“Wow,” the kid said, nodding appreciatively.
“Like I said, I can’t explain it,” the man said dismissively. “But I’ll tell you, there was something to it. I was practically weak in the knees after. That’s why I came here. Thought I’d get Jim’s favorite and say a toast to him.”
