She leaned over, kissed him, and then took her turn pleasuring him.
22
Secret Affairs
Their evenings were filled with each other, exploring, and learning with passion. If they weren’t at his apartment they were at hers. Somehow at work they managed to hide their feelings. He was much better at it than her, apart from sneaking glances and secret kisses when they could go unnoticed, he hid his feelings well. Two weeks of blissful contentment passed uneventfully. Their case went cold just like all the others and Lucas’ obsessive studying of the files ceased now he spent all his free time with his partner in and out of bed. Thanks to her, his nightmares didn’t continue after having returned with the familiar murders. It appeared having Maggie in his bed scared away the dreams.
They were lying in his bed one evening, feeding each other dinner, gazing at each other satisfied and pleasured, when Maggie finally spoke after hours of compatible silence.
“You know you won’t be able to hide our sordid affair much longer.”
“Impossible, I can hide everything.”
“Not when you’re eyes glow so wonderfully like they are now. They always go that beautiful shade of amber when you’re ... satisfied, mostly, but a couple of times at work, when I’ve caught you staring at me, well it’s a bit like you are right now, all golden and intense.”
He stiffened a little. The last person to tell him this was Olivia and look where that had gotten him.
“Like you said, it’s when I’m satisfied or horny or both. I wouldn’t read into it.”
“I’m not reading anything into it. Can you keep your ego in check for a moment? I’m just letting you know, if we don’t want anyone to find out, you have to stop looking at me like that in public.”
He relaxed slightly.
“It doesn’t actually mean anything.”
“I know, Lucas, anyone would think I asked you to move in with me or something, relax.”
“Yeah, well, don’t get any ideas.”
“I’m not,” she replied a little hurt by his affront. “I just thought you would want to know that sometimes you look at me that way out of the bedroom and you can’t be doing that.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
“Doesn’t mean I want you to stop all together, I like it. Why are you so defensive about it anyway?”
He sighed. “Every girl who has made me happy ... unless I really try to hide it, my eyes tend to give me away. When we’re here like this together I don’t want or need to hide. I don’t want to get serious, as you well know, but every girl has taken this as a show of feelings and as permission to move things forward. I don’t want what we have to end but I don’t want you to read into anything either.”
She laughed. “You honestly think I would get all ga-ga because I make you happy, even for now, and that I would read into it as some type of sign. You really don’t know me that well do you?”
“Sorry, automatic defence response.”
“You don’t have to do that with me. I know what we have and where it stands and I’m happy with it. So are you it would seem. If I can make you happy, even just for a short while then ... this is a good thing.”
“You’re definitely making life much more tolerable.”
“Well, thanks, I think. Lucas, as much as I like where we are right now, if you wanted to change it I would welcome it –”
“Mags ...” he cut in.
“Let me finish, please. If it meant that in the long run we couldn’t be friends or partners then I wouldn’t want take what we have to the next level. I would choose friendship, partnership and no sex, over sex and a relationship that you didn’t want to be in. What we have now suits me fine too. We’re friends and partners with fringe benefits.”
“Thanks, Maggie, and you are making me happy.”
“I know.”
“Hmm, anyway, I’ve had enough,” he told her taking the food away.
“I haven’t.” He went to retrieve the food. “I wasn’t talking about the food.”
He groaned and kissed her. As they began to enjoy each other again the phone rang.
“Ignore it,” he told her between kisses. “It’s probably my sister. If it’s work they’ll ring you.”
The phone stopped and they continued to drive each other to new levels of passion.
Maggie had been right, he was happy and content with their status just the way it was. Knowing she didn’t want it to change and would choose friendship over something with strings eased his mind. He could sit back and enjoy her without having guilt or worry over hurting her feelings. Things couldn’t have been better. He would also be willing to let her go too, albeit reluctantly, if she met someone else, someone she wanted permanently. He would miss their time together but wouldn’t hold her back from future happiness either.
Deciding he should visit his family, he dragged himself away from the sexy Maggie and told her he would catch up with her later. Maggie being Maggie understood his need to go alone and he respected her even more for this.
Mabel and Tommy were growing so fast, now four and two they were full of energy and unconditional love. His excitement grew as he drove to his sister’s.
“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” Carrie said after answering the door.
“Hi, Carrie, I’ve missed you. Sorry I haven’t seen you for a while.”
She eyed his suspiciously and then he knew his traitorous eyes had given him away. His charm hadn’t helped him get passed her scrutiny.
“So, who is she?”
“Why does there have to be a girl, Carrie.”
“What else makes a man happy?”
“Um, job fulfilment and sex.”
“Okay well it isn’t your job because it hasn’t made you this happy before, so it must be the second. When do I meet her then?”
“You don’t.”
“Why not? She’s obviously making you happy.”
“Yeah and I want to leave things as they are.”
“There’s nothing wrong with falling in love, Lucas.”
“Can you just be happy that life is going good for me at the moment?”
“I suppose, for now.” She frowned as she studied him. “You need a haircut.”
With a sigh he reluctantly let her. This would encourage her to ask more questions, as she always did when cutting his hair, but he let her do it anyway.
“So how’s it going with your new partner?”
“Maggie’s great. She has the traits, like compassion and sympathy, which I lack so we make a good team.”
“Hmm, I see. You don’t lack those traits, Lucas, you just think you do. Is she cute?”
“Yeah I suppose, she’s my partner, Carrie. Stop digging.”
“Well you only go to work and maybe the gym. Where else would you meet her?”
“There’s nothing to tell. If I had anything I wanted you to know, I would tell you.”
“Exactly, you only tell me what you want, which is nothing.”
“Carrie, can you just be happy I’m happy, nightmare free and not alone.”
“Yeah, for now.”
“So where are Nath and the kids?”
“At the park, he’s been working long hours and hasn’t been able to spend any time with them lately.”
“Would you like me to take them for a couple of hours tomorrow?”
“That would be great. Nathan and I need some time too.”
The front door banged at that moment and a squeal resonated down the hall.
“Uncle Luuccaas,” Mabel cried and threw herself at him. “You’re here.”
“Yes, Mabe Babe, I’m here, I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
“Uncwe Wucus,” said a small voice below him. He looked down to find Tommy attached to his leg. “Up.” With Mabel in one arm, he picked up Tommy with the other.
“How would you two like to go to the zoo tomorrow?”
“Yay,” they cried in uniso
n, clapping their hands gleefully.
“Hey,” Nathan said as he wondered in. “You look happy.”
“That’s what I said but he won’t tell me who it is.”
“Why does it have to be about a woman, Carrie?” Nathan said.
“That’s what I told her.” The men exchanged a knowing smile.
“Okay, be difficult both of you but I want to meet her if things become serious.”
“Well I guess you won’t meet her then will you.”
23
Openness
New cases came and went as the months passed. Their partnership became stronger as their opposing styles and approach to the job balanced each other. Lucas, tough and unwavering and Maggie, compassionate and intuitive, made a dynamic combination. Their solve rate became the highest in the precinct. Their harmony also transcended to their private lives too.
Lucas, although he tried to force it aside, developed deep feelings for Maggie too. He didn’t just want to spend time in the bedroom or at work with her any longer and he began to contemplate, for the first time since Stacy, shifting his relationship with Maggie to a different level.
He enjoyed her company, found her extremely sexy, intelligent and witty. She possessed everything he would seek in a woman, if he wanted one of course, which he was beginning to think he was. Was it worth taking a chance? Instead of the obstacle being his reluctance to form attachments, it was now the consequences of bringing their relationship out in the open. They were partners and although not necessarily against protocol it was frowned on. Many partnerships had developed into more within the force, however, when they ended, so did the working relationship and this caused unwanted reassignment and tension. If they were to become more, if he asked her to move in with him as planned, would they end badly and have to dissolve their partnership too? This and nothing else held him back for now.
It was on a Friday when he decided to throw caution to the wind. His feelings for her were strong, though he didn’t believe it was love, well, not yet anyway, he still looked forward to their alone time together. He heard the key in the lock and raced to the door like an eager schoolboy full of lust. The moment she was in the door, he pounced, kissing her with fervour. She responded in kind and they tore at each other’s clothes, craving each other. They were enjoying each other hungrily when Lucas’ phone rang.
“Ignore it,” he breathed into her ear as he took her to the brink.
The phone stopped and they continued to explore each other, lingering close to the peak of their pleasure, they knew each other’s bodies, moans and groans so well they both knew how to prolong their release.
As they both cried out with pleasure the doorbell rang insistently and relentlessly which was also ignored. The ringing turned to persistent knocking as he kissed her tenderly, unhurriedly running his fingers over the contours of her body.
“Lucas,” Carrie called as the knocking continued. “Are you here?”
“Yeah,” he called out.
“Open the door.”
Reluctant to move, he glanced at Maggie before detangling himself and locating his pants. Maggie searched for her clothes too as they, along with his, had been flung around the apartment.
“Lucas!” Carrie called again.
“Yeah, give me a minute.”
“Do you want me to hide?” Maggie whispered.
“No, you can get dressed while I let her in and then you may as well come out and meet her. I was thinking about introducing you to her anyway.”
“You were?”
“Yeah.”
“Lucas, what are you doing?” Came the shout through the door again.
“Coming, Carrie.”
“What’s the urgency?” he asked pulling open the door.
“What were you doing in here?” She peered over his shoulder.
“I don’t think you really want me to answer that. Anyway, what are you doing here?”
“We haven’t seen or heard from you in two weeks and you know I worry when too much time goes by. Why didn’t you answer the phone?”
“I was busy.”
“Hi,” Maggie said as she came out of the bathroom.
“Oh, hi,” said Carrie. “This explains your inability to answer.” She said with an amused grin before turning to Maggie. “I’m Carrie.”
“Maggie, nice to meet you.”
“Maggie?” Carrie asked Lucas.
“Yes.”
“Your partner?” Carrie asked with confusion and surprise.
“Yes.”
“Oh, so you were working?”
“No.”
“What’s going on?”
“We’re kind of seeing each other,” Lucas mumbled.
“Oh, so Maggie is the girl?” Another grin. Lucas tried not to return the smile. She was questioning him like he would interrogate a suspect.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“We haven’t gone public about it for the obvious reason that we’re partners. Well, not yet anyway.”
Lucas spied Maggie glancing at him out of the corner of his eye with a questioning look. They hadn’t discussed going public yet. He hadn’t got that far before becoming distracted.
“So you were going to tell me?”
“Yeah, actually, I was, but I was going to talk to Maggie about it first.”
“Does this mean—?”
“Don’t get excited, Carrie,” he cut her off. “We’ve been seeing each other for a little while now and I like her.”
Maggie was still staring at him incredulous.
“This is great! Will you both come for dinner tomorrow then?”
“If that will get you off my back.”
“Yes.”
He turned to Maggie and she shrugged.
“Alright, we’ll see you tomorrow.” Her amused smile remained and he didn’t know whether he wanted to smile with her or strangle her.
“I get the hint, I’m leaving.” She turned to Maggie. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
“Wow, that was intense,” Maggie said when he returned from seeing his sister out.
“Yeah. Um, I was going to talk to you.”
“I caught that.”
“I meant what I said to Carrie.”
“Okay...”
With a puzzled frown she sat down and waited for him to speak.
“I like having you around and I don’t want to hide anymore.”
“Lucas ...”
“Please, let me get this out.” He joined her on the sofa. “You know all about my baggage and how hard this is for me but for the first time in a long time ... I’m happy.”
“Lucas ... I think ...”
“Mags, please.” She nodded. “I want you to move in with me.”
“What?” Her blue eyes opened wide and a frown creased her brow at the bridge of her nose making her look sexy and edible.
“Don’t make me say it again.” He pleaded.
“Sorry ... I’m just surprised.”
“So am I.” He offered her a sheepish smile.
“Do you love me?”
“What?” He asked. She waited for more. “I like you a lot.”
“Lucas, as much as I want to say yes because I ... really like you too, I don’t think you can give me what I want. You don’t know this about me but I want marriage, kids, the whole lot. I don’t want to pressure you into giving me these things because I know it isn’t what you want. I’m like all the girls who want the fairy tale and as much as you’re sweet and wonderful, I don’t believe you can give me what I truly want. I don’t want things to end badly but if we go down this road it might. As much as I want to say yes right now, I can’t. I want us to be friends and partners and as much as we’re having fun, I don’t want to stay in a relationship where we’re on different pages. I wish it could be you but I can live with the fact it’s not.”
Stunned, Lucas stared at her for a moment as he tried to get his head around her ad
orable speech.
“Mags, a simple no would have sufficed.” He grinned. “You’ve been carrying that with you for a while haven’t you?”
“Yes, I guess I have. You took me by surprise. I never expected you to ask me that. I’ve been preparing myself to ... I met someone else.”
Now he was stunned.
“We’ve only been out once for drinks. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Guilt creased her brow this time.
“It’s okay, I’m just surprised, Mags. I’m not upset, disappointed but it’s okay. I want you to be happy. You’re right, I can’t give you want you want. Asking you to move in would be my limit.”
“I know and I didn’t go out of my way to meet anyone. Steve came to me.”
Placing his hands on her upper arms he brought her with him as he stood up.
“I’m going to miss this.”
He kissed her fervently. She pulled back slightly to stare into his face.
“Please tell me we can still be friends and mean it.”
“I want to stay friends and partners. No hard feelings?”
“I think there are some hard feelings.” She said with a laugh as she ran her hand over his crotch.
“You’re a naughty girl.” He took her hand and guided her towards the bedroom. “Is it too much to ask for one last time?”
Her answer was a kiss.
24
Solitude
For the first few days being around Maggie proved more difficult than he anticipated. He wasn’t heartbroken by any stretch of the imagination, but he noticed the empty space she’d left in his life. Lucas had never realised just how unfulfilling voluntary solitude actually was.
Maggie overcompensated by being too nice which irked him a tad more than her absence from his private life. He missed the sex, no doubt about that, but Maggie had been more than that, a kindred spirit. Regardless of this he found himself relieved that he’d dodged a relationship bullet, he’d gotten too close and that had been his mistake. If their parting affected him this much after such a short time, imagine if he had let her into his apartment and really let her into his life. He’d broken his number one rule and let her get too close. As lonely as his life was now, they were merely partners and friends again. They’d made the right decision. Back to meaningless sex and no attachments. After a week of Maggie’s congeniality he’d had enough, he wanted his usual partner back and not the ‘spare his feelings’ replacement.
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