She reached up and pulled his hand off her shoulder, lacing her fingers between his. Her hand was cold and trembling, and he clasped it tightly, offering comfort and assurance even as he drew them from her.
Myrtle’s song grew slowly louder, filling the room, as if the power that flowed between them strengthened her as much as it did Larsen. The glow within Larsen’s body grew and changed, shimmering now with sparkling, iridescent color.
“That’s it, Larsen.” Autumn’s grip on his hand tightened. “Fight for your life. Fight for Jack.”
The room was getting hot, the air charged with power. Sweat began to roll down his spine. Before Kaderil’s eyes, the torn flesh began to heal visibly, slower than any Esri’s, yet a thousand times faster than human flesh. The bullet appeared in the wound, then slowly rose to the surface.
Autumn’s hand convulsed around his. Kneeling at his feet, she pulled their clasped hands to her face, pressing his knuckles against her soft, damp cheek. Tenderness and a keen protectiveness clutched at his chest.
Myrtle’s song rose in volume, the Esri words as clear as her voice. “Death I banish you. Death be gone.” Tarrys began to take up the chant and Kaderil joined her until their voices filled the room. Little by little, the bloodied flesh reknit itself until all that remained of the deadly injury was a single bullet lying atop Larsen’s unblemished skin. The rainbow of light that had filled her body gathered at the surface and began to rise until it hovered inches above her.
Myrtle’s voice rose higher, then abruptly ceased even as Tarrys and he continued to sing. Kaderil could feel her drawing their power, feel it building inside her until finally she took a deep breath and with a last surge of magic, shouted in Esri, “Be gone!”
The hovering light exploded, blowing out the candles, sending the magic scattering to the corners of oblivion. Myrtle collapsed across Larsen in a dead faint.
Autumn scrambled to her feet. “What’s happened?”
“Are they all right?” Tarrys asked.
Kaderil scooped up the healer and laid her carefully at Larsen’s side, feeling the magic still swirling inside her. “This one’s pulse is strong.”
Autumn’s fingers pressed beneath Larsen’s ear. She looked up at him with eyes shining with joy. “So is Larsen’s. She did it. Myrtle saved her.”
Laughter bubbled out of Autumn’s throat. The smile that lit her face filled all the empty places deep inside him. She threw her arms around him and he lifted her off her feet and swung her around, laughing. The sound felt foreign, yet even the strangeness delighted him.
Slowly he lowered her to her feet. The laughter died from his throat as he fell into her eyes and fed his parched soul on the tender joy he found there. Their heads bent together and he kissed her, tasting the salty sweetness of her tears. This was wonder. Perfection. And if he could stay here like this for the rest of his life, he’d be the happiest of men.
“What happened?” Larsen’s soft, weary voice had them jerking apart.
Autumn’s laugh held a touch of embarrassment, but she grinned at him without shyness, then turned toward the bed. She leaned over Larsen and pressed her cheek to her friend’s. “You scared us to death, that’s what happened. Myrtle just performed one of her famous miracles.”
Kaderil stepped back, giving the women room. The smile continued to play at his mouth as his spirit soared. But as he watched them, the happiness slowly drained out of him as the truth of who he was, and what he must do, rushed in.
He turned from the room, suddenly unable to face Autumn. Knowing the suffering she was doomed to endure.
Kaderil went to the living-room window, his hands fisting on the sill as he watched the late-afternoon traffic clogging the streets below. The phone rang. From the bedroom, he heard Larsen say Jack was on his way. Then the women’s talk turned to clean clothes and baths. And still Kaderil stood, rooted, a war raging inside him. Jack was on his way, the draggon stone likely still around his neck.
The opportunity he’d waited for was finally about to fall into his hands.
His heart tried to rebel, but his mind was strong. Taking that stone, killing these people was his job. His life. If he failed this mission, Zander would win. Rith would banish the Punisher from court, leaving him to wander his world alone, feared and hated.
If he failed this mission, his life was over, his place in his world lost. And for what?
For Autumn.
A foolish sentiment. Any heartache he saved her would be temporary. If he failed to complete his mission as directed, others would step in. Zander, who would not only kill the Sitheen, but any humans he could catch, as well. His blood went cold as he imagined the way Autumn would suffer at Zander’s hands.
Autumn’s laughter carried from the bathroom, twisting his heart, but his mind stood firm. He was the Punisher. This was his mission and he could not fail.
The thoughts circled, over and over, as he stood before the window, his heart as cold as chiseled stone. He heard Jack arrive. Heard the tearful reunion between the man and the wife he’d thought he’d lost. And Kaderil continued to stare out the window, unseeing, as his Punisher’s brain took over.
Completing his mission—retrieving the draggon stone and killing the Sitheen—would be a simple matter now. Jack trusted him and would allow him to walk up behind him. Kaderil had broken dozens of necks as the Punisher, though this would be the first that would kill his victim.
Once Jack was dead, Larsen would die next. Then Myrtle. Both women were weak from the healing and would put up little resistance.
The problem was Tarrys. The Marceil should be returned to Esria where she belonged. And this one had knowledge of humans and their world that would be greatly sought. Zander and Ustanis would be able to bring her quickly under control, for true Esri had the power to control a Marceil’s every action with the touch of a hand.
So, the Sitheen had to die. Tarrys had to go with him.
And that left Autumn.
His stomach clenched at the thought of her in the midst of such destruction. At the thought of her watching him destroy the people she loved. The pain in her eyes. The horror.
The betrayal.
Sweat rolled down his scalp. His pulse pounded behind his eyes.
What would he do with her? He couldn’t leave her here to warn Charlie and Harrison that he’d turned traitor. But neither could he escape the building with two struggling females without attracting far too much attention. If only he had the power of a true Esri! He could enchant Autumn and control Tarrys. But he didn’t. So what would he do with Autumn?
The obvious answer hovered at the edges of his mind like dark, ominous smoke threatening to suffocate him. He needed to kill her with the others. That was the obvious answer.
And one he couldn’t accept.
He would not hurt her.
His arms began to shake as he gripped the window sill. He wiped his mouth, feeling the beads of sweat on his upper lip.
All his life he’d been feared. And he’d demanded that fear. But he hated the thought of it in Autumn’s eyes. He’d seen a glimmer when she woke from the enchantment, but that was nothing compared to the terror that would fill her eyes if he acted now.
And he must act.
His life depended on it.
Yet his muscles quivered and shook at the thought. He was turning weak. The Punisher threw bodies without compunction, dealt destruction without a second thought.
Yes, but to beings who could not be hurt. The Punisher had never ended a life. It wasn’t the same.
It was his mission. His duty. He must act. He must deal this death.
He jerked at the feel of a hand on his back, nearly attacking until he realized it was Autumn’s.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.” The word came out harshly. The Punisher’s voice.
He made the mistake of looking at her. What he saw in her gray eyes nearly broke him. Concern and softness. Deep, strong caring. For him. She pulled at him with her eyes
, coaxing him into her warmth, into that place of smiles and belonging. That place the Punisher could never go.
Her hand slid up and down his back in a slow, steady rhythm meant to comfort and soothe. But he was beyond calming. His body was strung tighter than a bow with the knowledge of what he must do.
“It’s been an eventful day.” Her smile was small, but sweet, filling him with the nearly unbearable urge to pull her against him and bury his face against her hair. “Why don’t we go back to the houseboat? I’ll make you dinner.”
The devastating need to hold her again was almost too great to breathe around.
Weakness. It is weakness.
She cared because she thought him human. The moment she knew who he was…what he was…she’d run from him in fear.
He was the monster. He would always be the monster.
He’d never minded being the Punisher, his brain railed.
Because he’d never known anything else.
But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. He was what he was.
And he knew what he had to do.
Autumn stroked Kade’s muscular back, her hand sliding up and down the cotton, feeling the tense vibrations beneath her palm. For more than an hour, he’d stood here, staring out Myrtle’s window, even though the sun had set and he could probably see little through the glass but his own reflection. He’d clearly taken all he could take of blood and miracles, and she didn’t blame him for being unnerved by it all. She was suffering from a bad case of emotional whiplash herself.
Larsen had almost died!
Then they’d saved her…all of them. Autumn still didn’t understand how her own involvement could have possibly mattered, but it seemed to have made a difference. Every time she thought of watching that bullet rise out of that gash, she got chills and tears in her eyes. She’d witnessed a miracle. She’d helped create a miracle. And if she never did anything worthwhile for the rest of her life, this day would be enough.
She looked back at the sofa where Jack sat hugging his wife. He looked much worse than she did now, with the bandage on his head and his arm in the sling. Her happiness for them was so great, her eyes welled up all over again and her heart soared with the pure joy of knowing Larsen was fine.
She glanced back at Kade. If only he could share in the happiness instead of being unnerved by it all.
“Myrtle’s taking a nap,” Tarrys said, closing the bedroom door behind her and joining them in the living room. “The healing exhausts her.” She stopped behind the lone empty chair, resting her arms on the back as she addressed Larsen. “How about you?”
Larsen smiled at the small woman. “I feel a little tired, but otherwise pretty amazing, all things considered.”
“What happened?” Tarrys blanched and straightened as if embarrassed to have asked the question. “Forgive me…but I would like to know.”
“Tarrys, stop that,” Larsen scolded. “You’re not a slave anymore. If you want to know something, ask. If it’s not a question we want to answer, we’ll tell you so.”
A slow smile lit the former slave’s delicate features. “My thanks. I know that my will is my own now. But the knowing is easier than the doing.” Her smile disappeared. “Was Charlie injured?”
Jack smiled and squeezed Larsen’s shoulder. “Charlie’s fine. He didn’t get there until the ambulances were arriving. He’s still at the hospital with his brother. Harrison’s going to be there for a couple of days while they repair his leg, but he should be fine. All in all, we were incredibly lucky.”
He turned to look at Larsen, so much deep, rich love in his eyes that a lump formed in Autumn’s throat just watching the two of them. She’d always wondered what it would be like to feel that strongly for someone. Now she thought she was beginning to understand.
She turned back to Kade and was lifting her hand to resume stroking his back when she caught his reflection in the window. Alarmed, she stepped forward where she could see his profile. At the sight, apprehension shivered through her. He looked angry. Furious. His dark brows low and straight over hard eyes, a muscle leaping in his jaw with the rhythmic clenching of his teeth.
“Kade? What’s the matter?”
If he were another man, she might have been frightened by the look of fury on his face. But he was Kade and he wouldn’t hurt her. She knew that.
But when she reached for him, he reared back, turning that mask of rage on her. “Get back. Get away from me.”
Her heart lurched. Autumn stumbled back, staring at the man who’d suddenly become a stranger. “Kade?”
Jack came up beside her, pushing her behind him. “You doing okay, big guy? You’ve been through a lot today. We all have. Why don’t you have a seat?”
But Jack’s words weren’t working. If anything, Kade was getting angrier.
She watched Jack’s stance shift ever so slightly, as if he were bracing himself for Kade’s attack. Which was ridiculous. Of course Kade wouldn’t attack him. But second after second, the tension built, the air growing so thick she could hardly breathe.
Then suddenly, without a word, Kade whirled and stalked to the door. He left, slamming the door behind him.
Autumn stared at the place he’d been, her heart pounding in her chest. Then ran for the door.
“Autumn!” Jack called. “Give him some time.”
But she couldn’t do that. In the instant before he turned, Kade had met her gaze. In his eyes she’d seen an ache, a misery so profound she’d felt her heart tear. She ran out into the hallway, turned toward the elevator and stopped. Halfway down the corridor, Kade stood, back against the wall, his head tilted as he stared at the ceiling. His body shook so badly she could see it vibrating from there.
She started toward him with wary steps, unsure of her reception. But as she neared, he turned toward her with eyes so bleak, they tore at her soul.
“Do you want some company?” she asked.
“I want you.” His words were low and raw.
She didn’t move, but kept her gaze firmly on his and nodded. “I’m here for you.”
In some corner of her mind, she wondered if she’d just agreed to go to bed with him. And realized that whether that’s what he’d asked, that’s how she’d answered. She wanted him. All of him. For now and always, or at least for as long as he wanted her.
Chapter 9
Autumn didn’t reach for him, nor did he reach for her. But he turned and they walked together to the elevator, not speaking again until they were in her car.
Autumn turned on the ignition. “Do you want to come back to the houseboat with me?”
“No. My apartment. I’ll tell you how to get there.”
They drove in silence except for Kade’s brief directions. Autumn found a parking space on the street and together they took the elevator to the fifth floor. Kade let them into his apartment and turned on a light to reveal an attractive room with simple, clean lines, the earth tones relieved by the colorful splashes of modern art that dotted the walls.
Kade went to the kitchen and flicked on a light, his back straight and tense.
Autumn shoved her hands into her back pockets, suddenly unsure of herself. He’d said he needed her, then hadn’t said a word to her other than “Turn left” or “Turn right” since. Had he only been looking for company? Was she supposed to just hang out and watch TV?
He pulled a bag of carrots and a bag of celery out of the refrigerator, grabbed a knife and started chopping.
Autumn eased closer until she stood in the kitchen doorway. “What are you making?”
He chopped two more carrots, cutting them into tiny chunks, before answering. His gaze flicked to hers, then back to the carrots. “I don’t know.”
Oh, Kade. In his eyes, she’d seen an isolation so profound he didn’t know how to breach it, even with her standing here. He was chopping carrots, she suspected, because he had to do something.
He did need her. More than she’d realized. Probably more than he knew. He needed the touch
of another, but was too strong, too alone, to know how to ask.
So she made the move he didn’t know how to make. She pulled her hands from her pockets and went to him.
“Don’t stab me, okay?” she said softly as she walked up behind him, slid her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his back. He didn’t answer, didn’t quit chopping, but he accepted her comfort with a tremor that rippled down his body.
He felt so good against her, solid and warm. More than anything, she wanted to reach that deep loneliness she sensed inside him and banish it. He wasn’t alone anymore. He wouldn’t be again, unless he wanted to be.
But first she had to break down the thick walls he’d erected around himself.
She slid her hands beneath his zipped jacket to tug at the shirt tucked into his pants. For a moment, he stilled while she pulled it free, then resumed chopping. The warm skin of his abdomen caressed her palms, making her breath catch at her own bold move. His abs were rock hard, delighting her fingertips and heating her blood. She wanted to feel more of him, see more of him. Taste him.
But despite the increasingly urgent pressure of her hands beneath his shirt, Kade didn’t respond. Though he allowed her this pleasure, he gave her no indication he shared it.
Autumn’s confidence faded. She’d acted purely on instinct, but she was the first to admit she had way too little experience with men to think she knew how to please one. She pulled her hands from his shirt and stepped back, embarrassed.
The knife went silent. “Don’t stop.” His words, though low, ached with a need beyond the flesh.
She stared at his stiff, proud back, as a tenderness almost beyond bearing engulfed her. He needed her. The thought trembled through her with the sweetness of a warm wind on a cold day.
Gathering her battered confidence, she closed the distance between them and slid her hands over the soft leather that covered his back, making large circles designed to calm and comfort.
But the play of muscles beneath her fingers was anything but calming. Her pulse accelerated as she drank in the scent of leather and warm male. She wanted more. Needed more.
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