by Nikki Ash
“Yeah, I know. We go through this every year.” She smiles but it looks forced. “I’ve just been busy. I promise I’ll make the appointment this week.” She leans over and gives me a chaste kiss. “Now, you have to taste this delicious cake.” I open my mouth, and she feeds me a bite.
Once we’re done eating, we all move to the living room for presents. It doesn’t matter how old Delilah gets, her parents buy her birthday presents every year. One year she jokingly asked if this will continue until she’s eighty, and her mom said, “If it means you’re still alive at eighty, then damn right.”
“I’ll be right back,” Delilah says. “I just need to use the restroom.” She heads down the hall, and I follow her, concerned about her behavior. Knowing the skeleton key is kept over the door frame, I reach up and grab it, then unlock the door. When I open the door, Delilah is standing against the sink with her head hanging down, and a bottle of Advil on the counter.
“You okay?” I ask, and she jumps.
“Jesus, Cole! You scared me.”
“You’re scaring me.”
“I’m fine. I just have a bad headache.” She holds the bottle up. “It’s just pain reliever.” She opens the medicine cabinet and places the bottle on the shelf.
“Okay, but please remember to schedule your checkup with Dr. Morton,” I insist, and she rolls her eyes.
“Yes, Dad.”
chapter twenty-one
Delilah
I’m kneeling on the cold tile floor, my face perched over the toilet as I throw up everything I just ate for breakfast. Something is wrong. The only time I’ve ever felt this sick was during my chemo treatments, and now I’ve thrown up several days in a row. I wait a another minute just to make sure I’m not going to throw up again before I stand, wash my face, and brush my teeth. I glance back at the clock in the room and see it’s already almost eight o’clock. If I don’t leave soon I’m going to be late for work. Luckily, Cole leaves earlier than I do, so he hasn’t been here to see me throwing up, because if he had, he would be dragging me to the doctor immediately.
I throw on a skirt and blouse and finish the outfit with a pair of flats. On my way in, I call Dr. Morton to schedule my appointment. I should’ve scheduled it back in September when my mom reminded me, but I kept putting it off. Now, I’m over a month late scheduling it. I’ve never thrown up just from having cancer, but I’m not taking any chances. The receptionist schedules me for next week, and I do my best to push my nervousness away. I have a class of nine-year-olds to teach.
I’m not even an hour into our morning, and I’m running to the bathroom to throw up. Every day I throw up it gets worse, lasting longer than the previous day. I don’t know what’s going on, but this can’t be good. Thankfully, I have a teacher’s assistant who is able to take over for me when the principal suggests I take the day off in case it’s a bug of some sort. I don’t bother telling him a bug wouldn’t last this long. Instead, I go home and spend the rest of the day watching TV and ignoring the uneasiness I’m feeling in my gut.
By the afternoon, like the last several days, I’m feeling fine. It’s as if I’m not even sick. Not only do I feel okay, but I’m energetic and in the mood to cook. I pick up some groceries, and when Cole gets home, dinner is waiting for us to eat together.
“Damn, babe, I can’t remember the last time you cooked,” he jokes after clearing his entire plate.
“Very funny.” I laugh.
“Why don’t I do the dishes and you go take a bath?” he offers, and because a bath sounds perfect, I agree.
“Maybe after you’re done, you can join me.” I shoot him a flirtatious wink and crack up laughing when he jumps up from his seat to rush the dishes over to the sink.
I fill the tub with hot water and bubbles, then undress completely. I sink down into the warm bath and press play on my playlist, and Sam Hunt’s voice croons over the portable speaker. Laying my head back against the plush bath pillow, I close my eyes and enjoy the peacefulness.
I’m not sure how long my eyes are closed, but when I feel Cole’s hands massaging my breasts, I slowly open them. He’s naked and leaning over the tub. His mouth goes to my taut nipple and he sucks...hard.
“Ow,” I screech, and Cole’s mouth leaves my breast.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No, sorry.” I shake my head. “I just wasn’t expecting it.” Ever since my breast augmentation, it takes a lot for me to feel any sensation, so the fact that Cole sucking on my nipple actually hurt me is shocking to me.
“Delilah, have you been to the doctor yet to get your yearly checkup?” Cole asks.
“I’ve made the appointment. I’m fine. My nipple was just a little sensitive. Now will you please get in this tub with me?” I sit forward, and Cole drops down behind me. His large body wrapping itself around my tiny one. He squirts some body wash onto my loofah and begins soaping up my shoulders and neck, working his way down my arms.
“How was basketball practice?” I ask as he lifts my arms and gently runs the loofah over my breasts and down my belly.
“It was good. I think I have a really good team. The kids are excited for the season to be starting in a few weeks. Oh! And get this, I got them into a really cool camp over winter break. It’s run by the NBA. An entire week of them getting to learn from the professionals.”
“Wow, that’s awesome. Is it local?”
“Unfortunately, it’s in Oklahoma, so I’ll be gone for a week.” Cole trails the loofah lower, spreads my legs, then rubs it up and down my sex.
“Maybe I’ll use that week to visit my parents. Mom has been bugging me to visit more.”
“Sounds good, babe.” Cole reaches around me, and his fingers land on my clit. His lips trail kisses down the side of my neck. Then his fingers enter me, and my head goes back against his chest. He expertly works my pussy and clit over, and less than a minute later, I’m moaning out my orgasm.
“Damn, you came fast,” Cole murmurs before pressing a soft kiss against my earlobe.
I might’ve just came, but I’m still horny as hell. “I need you inside me.”
“Gladly.”
Cole releases the water from the tub and stands, taking my hand to help me up. Grabbing a towel, he wraps me up, and we step out of the tub. As I’m bending over to wipe the bubbles off my skin, I notice Cole’s massive erection. Dropping my towel to the floor, I kneel down on it and take his dick into my mouth, eliciting an appreciative groan from Cole. I suck him for a few minutes, until I can’t take it anymore and need him to be inside of me. Not wanting to waste any time, I release his dick from my mouth and turn around. Using the edge of the tub to hold onto, I spread my legs and jut my ass out, then I tilt my head back slightly and say, “I need you to fuck me, now.”
Cole smirks and nods, and gripping my hips, he guides his hard cock into my pussy.
chapter twenty-two
Cole
Delilah and I have a healthy sex life. I would say we have sex at least three to four times a week easily. I don’t know how it is with other couples, but with us it’s always amazing. Maybe it’s because we were friends first...I’m not sure. However, in all the times I’ve gotten Delilah off, I’ve never seen her come as fast as she did in the tub.
And then the way she sucked my dick before she turned around right there in the bathroom and demanded I fuck her...Jesus! Gripping her sides, I push into her, and fuck if she isn’t soaking wet.
“Damn, woman, you’re dripping.”
She doesn’t say anything, just pushes her ass into me and moans. I pick up my speed, thrusting in and out of her, and I can feel her tight cunt clenching, but then she moves forward, and my dick slides out of her, immediately missing her warmth.
“Can you fuck my ass?” she asks, but it comes out like a plea, and I freeze in place. Delilah hasn’t asked for anal play since...I shake myself out of those thoughts. Wordlessly, I reach into the drawer where I know the baby oil is kept, and popping the top open, I drip some down her
ass crack. Before I stick my dick in her, I want to make sure she’s ready, so I start with my fingers. Pushing one into her asshole, I fingerfuck her until she’s writhing in pleasure, then I add another.
“Yes, please, Cole. Fuck my ass,” she begs. I can see she has one hand holding onto the tub and the other is massaging her clit. Using my hand that has the baby oil on it, I stroke my dick a few times to get it lubed up. Then spreading her cheeks apart, I shove my dick into her puckered hole. Delilah lets out a groan, and my dick twitches inside of her. I forgot how tight it feels inside her ass. Every time I enter her, it’s like she’s choking the fuck out of me. She hasn’t been taken this way since we were with Xander, and even then it was mostly Xander who would fuck her in the ass. He would always joke he was an ass man.
Trying to get Xander out of my head, I focus on fucking Delilah. I pull out until just the tip of my dick is inside her, then just as slowly I push back in. I watch as my dick enters her, then leaves her. When she lets out another moan I wonder what it would feel like to be fucked in the ass. I’ve always been on the giving end of sex. What if I was the one being fucked? My thoughts go to Xander. He loved to fuck Delilah’s ass. Would he love to fuck mine? Memories of the one and only time he went down on his knees and sucked me off, surface. I’d never come so hard in my life knowing it was his mouth wrapped around my dick. The way he took me all the way in. Would he let me fuck him? Would he take my entire dick in his ass like he did in his mouth? My eyes close as I lose myself to the fantasy of fucking Xander, and before I know it, I’m coming so fucking hard, my legs are shaking.
And before I can stop the words from leaving my lips, I moan out, “Fuuuuck, Xander.” My body stills at what I just said...what I just did. Holy shit, I just visualized fucking Xander then called out his name. I pray I said his name in my fantasy, that I didn’t say it out loud, but when Delilah moves forward, my softening dick falling out of her, and turns around without saying a word, I know she heard me.
chapter twenty-three
Delilah
When Cole came inside me while calling out Xander’s name I knew what I needed to do. There was just no coming back from that. The last two years I have watched Cole love Xander from afar. I knew I didn’t have his entire heart, but I was okay with that because I love Xander too. I miss him and think about him every single day. The difference is, though, if Cole wasn’t so hellbent on making good on whatever promise he made to his mom, if he actually was honest with himself, he would choose Xander over me, and that’s just not something I can spend my life being okay with. Not for my sake, and not for Cole’s.
Needing to clean up, I take a quick shower, and when I get out, Cole’s no longer in the bathroom. I get dressed, then go in search for him. My heart is pounding, and my palms are sweaty. This is the last thing I want to do, but I know it’s what needs to be done. I find Cole sitting in the living room. It’s dark with only the overheard lighting shining from under the microwave. His head is down, and I know he hates himself for what happened.
“We need to talk,” I say, sitting on the coffee table across from him. He raises his head, and I see the regret and guilt in his eyes. “I know it’s not my place to discuss you and Xander...” I begin to say, but Cole cuts me off.
“There is no me and Xander.”
“Cole...” I take a deep breath. “I can’t do this anymore.” I take his hands in mine. “I love you, and I love Xander, but when he walked out the door that day, he left a gaping hole in your heart. I saw you in pain, and I just wanted to make it better. The way you’ve always made me feel better. But I was wrong for what I did. I stuck a giant band-aid over your heart and allowed you to act like there was no wound there.” I cover his heart with my palm. “I can’t be your band-aid anymore.”
Cole tugs my hands toward him and pulls me onto his lap. “Don’t do this, Delilah, please. You know I love you.” His head falls against my chest.
“I know you do, but I’ll never have your whole heart, and I thought I was okay with that, but I’m not.” I don’t bother to mention that we both know Xander has it. “Before Xander left, I made a big mistake by pushing you guys together.” I stop speaking for a second, knowing I’m about to break my promise to Xander, but also knowing I have to. “All these years I was so incredibly selfish.”
“What? How?” Cole asks, his head lifting slightly so he can meet my eyes.
“Some women aren’t lucky enough to find one man who loves her unconditionally, but I found two. The problem was I held onto your hearts knowing they belonged to someone else, and for that I’m sorry.” I dip my head down and kiss Cole’s forehead.
“Delilah...I can’t...” he shakes his head.
“I know, Cole, but I can’t be the reason why you can’t any longer.”
“So, this is it? We’re over. Xander left, and now we’re ending?”
“We will always be friends,” I promise him. “Always. But yes, we’re ending.” Tears prick my eyes, and I have to close them so they don’t spill over. I need to be strong.
Cole wraps his arms around me and holds me close. “I’m so sorry, Delilah. I love you,” he says, his face now nuzzling into the crook of my neck. “I’m sorry it wasn’t enough.”
Me too, Cole...me too...
chapter twenty-four
Delilah
Pregnant. Oh my god. I’m pregnant. I would never have believed it if my doctor wouldn’t have insisted on doing an ultrasound. After running my bloodwork for my yearly checkup, he called me in. I was terrified the cancer was back, but I never imagined he would tell me I’m pregnant, and not just pregnant. I’m twelve weeks along. Holy shit! I’ve been on birth control since the first time Cole, Xander, and I made love. I’m on the shot, and I take it on time every three months...except for a few months ago when I was busy getting ready for school to start, and I had to put my appointment off. Dammit! I’m so irresponsible. I know it takes two to make a baby, but Cole trusted that I was taking my shot on time. From being on the shot for so long, I’ll go months without getting a period, so it never occurred to me the throwing up was due to morning sickness. But it should’ve.
And now, here I am, pregnant with my ex-boyfriend’s baby. Sure, he’s still living in the condo with me, but he’s moved back to his old room until he can find a place of his own. And I know exactly how he’s going to react when he finds out. He’s going to beg me to stay with him. He’s going to want to marry me so we can be a family, and I can’t do it. I can’t do that to him, or to me. We both deserve better.
“And right here is the heart.” Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Dr. Morton stills the ultrasound image and points to the tiny little blip on the screen. It’s too small to see the actual baby, but it has a heartbeat. I know people have different opinions, but as I stare at this little dot on the screen, to me it’s alive. It’s a he or she, and there’s a heart.
“Obviously I’m not an obstetrician, so I’m going to recommend you pick one.” He turns the monitor off and pulls the probe out of me, gently replacing the paper cover over my bottom half.
“Delilah, we’re going to need to discuss this further. I can’t make the decision for you, but I will make sure you completely understand all your options. Are you sure you don’t want Cole or your parents here?”
“I’m sure.” I can’t tell them about the baby yet. I know what they would say, but this needs to be my decision. It’s my body and my baby, and while Cole and my parents would want to put me first, it’s my duty as this baby’s mom to put him or her first.
“Okay, then go ahead and get dressed, and I’ll meet you back in my office. We have a lot to discuss.” He gives me a warm smile before he leaves the room, so I can get dressed.
chapter twenty-five
Cole
My eyes open, and I check the time: 9:00 a.m. I roll over and find the spot next to me empty and then remember I’m no longer in the master bedroom. I’m no longer sharing a bed with Delilah. I’m in my old bed because we’re over. I hate t
hat this is what we’ve come to. The three of us now estranged. It tears me apart that Delilah blames herself like she forced us to be with her. We all made our choices, and I don’t for a second regret being with her. I love her, and I always will. I’m just not the person for her, and she was right to break things off with me. She deserves a man who isn’t fantasizing about someone else while he’s having sex with her. She deserves to be the center of someone’s world.
Throwing the sheets off me, I pull on a pair of pajama pants then head to the kitchen to make some coffee. Stopping in front of Delilah’s room, I see she’s still asleep. She’s been more tired lately. She hasn’t mentioned if she’s yet been to see her oncologist for her yearly appointment, and that worries me. I haven’t voiced my concern since the day at her parents’ place when she got that headache, but I’m going to soon. It’s Thanksgiving break which means we have a week of no work. We’re planning to visit her parents for Thanksgiving, do some Black Friday shopping—at her request—and just simply relax. While our sexual relationship is over, we’re determined to remain friends.
My thoughts go to Xander. I wish I could call him up and invite him to Delilah’s parents’ house for Thanksgiving. Up until two years ago, we celebrated every holiday together. Delilah is the only family we have. The first year I actually did call him, but it didn’t go over well...
“Cole? Is everything okay?” My heart picks up speed at the concern in Xander’s voice. It’s been six months since he left, and I miss my best friend like fucking crazy.
“Yeah, everything is okay.”
“Oh, Good. So...why are you calling?” His tone isn’t rude. More curious and guarded.
“Well, it’s Thanksgiving next week, and I know you guys are playing, but I wanted to see if maybe you wanted to join Delilah and me for dinner at her parents’.”
