Anna dismissed it as just something mothers sometimes do. Yet Anna knew, of course, the choking was the result of nerves. She’d tried extra hard to appear happy and relaxed throughout the rest of the meal. Please God. Don’t let me frighten my children.
Maisy immediately recognized Anna’s failure to eat. She reached across the small kitchen table and put her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Anna, eat your cookie. In fact, have several of these cookies. You’re so thin. Thinner even than when you came over from England. I love you like a sister and know you’re unhappy. What’s the matter?” Maisy put down her cookie, stood up, and opened her arms wide to Anna.
Maisy had eyes, and George and Grace would be blabbing all over the countryside about her condition. Maisy knew what was the matter. She wanted to be told. She wanted to hear Anna’s explanation. Finally, someone cared.
Anna remained seated because she felt tears enter her eyes. Her friend’s love left her brimming with emotion.
She spoke slowly at first and then the words came out faster and faster until they created a virtual torrent. Her confession completed, Anna began to sob. She sat with her head bent so low it almost reached her lap. She attempted to catch the tears with her hands.
Maisy wrapped her arms around Anna’s shoulders, and held her close. Maisy ignored Anna’s tears soaking her sweater and skirt. Oh Anna, I’m sorry. So sorry.”
Finally, Anna ceased sobbing. She blew her nose on the one very inadequate handkerchief that she kept in her pocket.
Maisy shook her head back and forth. She was almost as overwhelmed as Anna. “I think you should call the police. This guy shouldn’t get away with this.”
“No,” screamed Anna, “I could never do that. I don’t want to tell a man I don’t know what happened to me. I would be too embarrassed. Besides, Willy is a drifter. I’ll probably never see him again. At least I hope I never see him again. Anyway, the police won’t care. Without Willy, they won’t be able to lay charges. I’ll just be a silly woman with a story.” Anna once again began to weep.
Anna felt much better with the telling; it was a relief to share her burden with a special friend who cared and understood.
Anna trembled with pent-up relief and fear. “Maisy, please don’t tell anyone about this. I’m too frightened and embarrassed. I just want to forget the whole thing. But I can’t. Oh Maisy, I don’t know what to do.”
Maisy’s beautiful eyes filled with tears of understanding. She spoke in a whisper. Although with the children outside, no one would hear their conversation. “It’s too late for abortion, and since it’s illegal, the doctors who perform them are often incompetent. You might consider putting the baby up for adoption. Daniel loves your purity. He would never accept another man’s child. Hopefully, the child will arrive before Daniel. There’ll be talk but things might go better without evidence. It’s what I would do in your place.” Maisy reached out and put her hand over Anna’s very cold one.
Anna took a sip of tea gone cold as she took in what Maisy said. Maisy did have a solution. Anna had hope. Her future needn’t be so terrible. She’d have to bear the child of rape but she wouldn’t have to keep it.
Willy undoubtedly had “bad genes.” His child would be difficult to raise, and become a troubled adult. However, this child also had her genes. It may, in fact, turn out to be kind and loving. Could she give up this unique human being, this part of herself who was going to become her child just like Amber and Crystal? She feared she couldn’t.
Anna began to wring her hands. “Oh Maisy, I don’t know. I don’t know if I could give up a child of mine. Even though that would be the simplest thing.”
Anna heard the chirping of sparrows. “I guess I’m like my sister, Patsy, who had a child out of wedlock she kept. Robert is a great kid. Mine might be too.
“Keeping the child would cast shame upon both me and Daniel and my two older children. Keeping it is not sensible. Still, I don’t think I can give it up. I’m already starting to love this child in my womb.” Her face was red from crying.
Anna stood up, went to the sink and pumped some water into a glass. Her hands shook as she drank a small portion of it.
“I love you Anna. I’ll always be your friend.” Maisy would never again speak of adoption.
The months passed. Jim seeded her crops. Anna knew he did so against their father’s wishes. Anna grew larger and larger. She could no longer hope to disguise her pregnancy. She suffered more and more for her morality.
One bright day in June, when the humidity felt wonderful after a spring rain and a rainbow graced the sky, Amber rushed into the house. “Why don’t Granny and Grampa stop by anymore and give us chocolate bars? I saw their car go by and Crystal and I waved like crazy. But they didn’t stop, although I think Granny spotted us. Don’t they love us anymore? Amber’s pretty face was filled with anguish.
She looked especially lovely in a white cotton dress that flattered her tanned skin. How could anyone shun her?
Anna knelt down and pulled her daughter into her arms. She smelt of the fresh air and grass. Anna felt nothing but love. “They’re just busy, that’s all. They love you. They’ll always love you. I’ll always love you.” She kissed Amber’s cheek. How could two supposedly God-fearing people be so cruel?
* * *
Two days later, Jim and Maisy took Anna into Lethbridge to pick up some groceries and other supplies.
Anna always felt some misgivings when she went to town. More and more, she would hear laughter and whispers as she passed people on the street. She couldn’t help but wish she lived near a larger community where she wasn’t known by so many people. A place like London. Well, she’d be back there in disgrace soon enough.
At least she knew she would always have her parents’ unconditional love. Would they believe she’d been raped? Yes, she decided, they would.
Despite everything, Anna enjoyed the drive into Lethbridge. She couldn’t help but be delighted about riding in an automobile in late June with the birds singing, the air warm and fresh and the crops bursting with new life. Even the wind had abated.
Anna felt like painting a picture. It would be of the five of them, all in their best clothes, traveling in Jim’s beautiful new green Chevrolet.
They spoke about the pleasant weather, and their children, even though Amber and Crystal came along. Also their dogs. Maisy and Jim had a fine mongrel named Jake. They discussed the news. And they gossiped. Anna knew she created much of the latter within the community. Nonetheless, it was great to speak to adults once again.
Since Anna’s confession to Maisy, neither she nor Jim had said anything about her condition. They were two of the kindest, most empathic people on the planet.
Anna was anxious as she walked alone on the sidewalk in front of Eaton’s store. She didn’t want to meet anyone. Thus, she grew frightened when she encountered her neighbor, Ned. She’d always liked Ned, and so did Daniel. He had dancing brown eyes and a happy grin. She’d always found him friendly and considerate.
Ned tipped his hat to her, a custom Anna had always liked. It appeared he wanted to chat. “How’d it go with that drifter…what’s his name? Yes, Willy Jones.”
Anna tried to make her voice calm, tried to keep her heart from pounding instead of just beating, “Actually, I didn’t have enough money at the time to pay him. So he travelled on.”
Anna twisted her wedding band. “Thanks for thinking of me, though.”
Ned nodded. She saw him glance at her body. A look of distress crossed his pleasant face.
Anna felt as vulnerable as if she was naked. She could think of nothing further to say or do.
Ned tipped his hat to her again and carried on. Anna knew she couldn’t blame Ned. He thought he did her a favour when he sent Willy Jones out to her farm. He didn’t realize the trouble he caused her.
Anna soon realized her fears for her reputation were not baseless. She entered Woolworth’s by herself. Jim, Maisy, Amber and Crystal were at the butcher shop. She
was just starting to accustom herself to Woolworth’s distinctive smell and crowded aisles when she spotted a woman she knew. Mrs. Edith McPhail.
Edith had always been friendly and openly admired Anna’s accent. Today she dressed in a form fitting red dress, a red hat and even matching red shoes. She appeared to have gained weight, which suited her. Anna noticed Edith talked to a woman in blue Anna didn’t know.
Anna hoped she hadn’t been seen. She ducked behind a column of shelves stocked with cosmetics and beauty accessories.
Edith’s voice carried. “I feel Daniel made a big mistake getting that English wife. Nancy Smyth says Daniel hasn’t been home in months and that woman is pregnant. No one knows who the father is. Furthermore, the Armstrongs are devout, and evidently Anna has taken Daniel away from the church. I wonder what he’ll do when he comes home.”
Anna felt her cheeks burn red with shame. A package of bobby pins fell at Anna’s feet and she realized she had, in her misery, knocked them off the display. She was too embarrassed to pick them up.
Despite this disruption, the gossiping women didn’t bother to see who stood behind the shelves and continued talking. They remained, despite Anna’s clumsiness, oblivious to her presence.
The older woman in blue, tall and full-chested, with frizzy pin-curled hair, continued the conversation. “Apparently, George Armstrong says she’s no longer their daughter-in-law. She has their son hoodwinked. George believes Daniel only imagines he’s in love with her.” Her voice carried even more than Edith’s.
Anna stamped her foot down hard. She’d had more than she could handle. She left the protection of the shelves and showed herself to the two gossiping women. “Things aren’t always as they seem. I’m a good person. A moral person. Perhaps too moral.”
Anna turned and left the store. She forgot all about the things she needed.
The women stared after her open-mouthed.
Chapter 11
Daniel arrived in Lethbridge on a beautiful late September day. The skies were blue. The sunshine abundant. It was a day just as beautiful as over a year ago when the hailstorm had caused such destruction.
Daniel was proud of himself. He’d made good money and Anna’s letters had told him the harvest had been bountiful. This year shouldn’t be a repeat of last.
He’d been gone more than the requisite six months, but he’d made good money. He would now be free of debt.
Daniel’s shoulder ached after all the hard work he’d done on the docks. However, he managed to ignore the pain. Today he would once again see beautiful, gentle Anna. And, of course, his daughters.
Together he and Anna had decided not to have any more children. It would be nice to have a boy, but Amber and Crystal made them a happy family.
He lived for Anna’s letters. Now he’d be there in person to experience all he’d been missing.
The train ride home had been much like the train ride to Vancouver. And much like the journey back to Canada from England. They were experiences he would always remember.
Anna’s journey had probably been dreadful. He knew war brides were subjected to dirty, unsanitary conditions, and extreme crowding. That meant no privacy and lots of crying children. However, she’d made it and he now had a perfect, loving wife.
He’d found the trip through the mountains exhilarating. He’d seen bears and deer and mountain goats. The mountains were majestic and the air fresher even than on his farm.
There’d been fields of golden wheat on the prairies. He loved his beautiful country.
The docks where he’d worked had been putrid with rotting fish. Nonetheless, Vancouver was a gorgeous city. There were massive, beautiful flowers such as hydrangeas, and forests of grand oak trees.
On his one day off a week, he usually went to Stanley Park and never failed to find the experience restorative. He enjoyed the zoo and the many walking trails. His favorite paths snaked by the ocean.
Daniel knew Anna would love to paint Vancouver. It would remind her of England. In his opinion, Vancouver was the more magnificent because of its mountains and woodlands.
Daniel’s co-workers told him Victoria on Vancouver Island was also a beautiful, charming city. But Daniel never had time to go there. He vowed to take Anna out to the west coast someday soon. He hoped they’d arrive on one of the few sunny days in summer. He hated the many winter days of dreary drizzle.
The barracks he’d stayed in were similar to those in the army. There was little privacy. But he’d somehow managed to grow used to the stench of hard working male bodies. And a part of him enjoyed being somewhere different.
Like a prisoner, Daniel had marked off the days on his calendar until when he could come home. He missed his family, of course. But he also missed Alberta’s bright sunshine, even in winter, and the quiet beauty of his land.
He’d made some friends amongst his fellow workers and he told them all about Anna. He missed her with all his being. He wasn’t entirely whole without her at his side. It was as if he’d lost an arm or leg. He’d rubbed her picture so much it’d grown worn and bent.
He became good friends with Percy Johnston, a handsome man with curly brown hair and blue eyes. Percy had grown up near Vancouver and introduced Daniel to Stanley Park. He’d never been out west. Daniel extended a warm invitation to come out and visit.
Percy had also been in the forces and been wounded in Normandy. He’d been in the infantry, near the front lines, but somehow managed to survive. He’d suffered a shattered leg that thankfully took a very long time to heal.
Over beers one Monday evening, they’d exchanged stories. Daniel failed to share how he still felt consumed with guilt because he’d failed to look out of the hatch of his Firefly.
Neither Percy nor Daniel had anything to do with the prostitutes many of the other men visited on pay days. Daniel not only needed to save his money, he also wanted to remain true to Anna. Although single, Percy feared syphilis or gonorrhea.
Together Daniel and Percy would play cards when many of the other men left the barracks. They both enjoyed crib.
* * *
Daniel heard the conductor call in a loud, singsong voice. “Lethbridge.” He touched his hand onto his rapidly beating heart and stared out his window at the familiar city. It seemed small and vacant after Vancouver.
He waited patiently for the female passengers to exit. This seemed to take longer than necessary, despite the fact he helped many of these women with their luggage.
His chivalry resulted in several invitations to dinner from the single ladies. One slender redhead with a very full bust line told him he was the handsomest man she’d ever met.
Despite all this, Daniel managed to be the first male out the door. Nothing would keep him from Anna.
He hardly noticed the weight of his own suitcase, although it was the large, heavy bag Anna had brought over from England. It weighed at least fifty pounds. Besides his clothes and personal effects, he’d packed it with gifts for Anna and the children.
He knew he was now even stronger than he’d been during the war. He could feel his suit jacket straining at his back, shoulders, and arms.
Finally, he stood on the station platform. He took a deep breath of fresh, dry air. He also revelled in the wide sky. He searched for a taxi and almost immediately found one. He hadn’t told anyone when he would return. Of course, he could call Peter, or Jim, or even George. He didn’t want anyone around when he greeted Anna. He wanted to surprise her. He imagined the look of delight that would brighten her beautiful features.
He believed the cab driver would appreciate the large fare. He decided as well to leave a tip.
Daniel was about to enter the cab when he noticed two thin, bearded men smoking cigarettes and gossiping. Both wore old, faded jackets and pants. One leaned against the station building. The other stood up right beside his friend.
Daniel heard one of the men say, “I guess he couldn’t satisfy his woman. She had to look elsewhere.” Daniel absently wondered who they were
talking about and decided gossips came in both sexes.
Daniel settled himself into the backseat of the large, black cab. He smiled with contentment as he revelled in the wide, familiar streets. The cab driver had a thick Dutch accent. He didn’t speak except to ask Daniel for directions. Daniel freely enjoyed the scenery.
They left the city and he noticed many of the crops had been harvested. The landscape was beautiful in its austerity. His eyes moistened when he passed by the homes of their friends and neighbours. He knew then just how homesick he’d been.
* * *
Finally, he told the driver to “turn here.” They were approaching his driveway. He smiled as he surveyed his house, barn and outbuildings. He’d have to paint them soon. Thank God, the crop was harvested.
Chocolate ran around in circles and barked. He’d be embarrassed when he saw who’d arrived. Daniel’s eyes filled with tears of happiness. He’d waited for this moment for months.
He paid the driver, a short, thin man with pale blond hair and thin features, and grabbed his suitcase from what Anna called the boot of the car.
She had lost much of her accent, but sometimes he still didn’t know what she referred to. This thought caused the smile of anticipation on his face to broaden.
The next thing he knew Chocolate yipped with joy. He placed his front paws on Daniel’s trousers. Daniel scratched Chocolate behind the ears and looked for Amber and Crystal. He found no sign of them. He was relieved. He loved his children but wanted time alone with Anna before he greeted his daughters. He desperately hoped Anna would be at home.
Daniel made his way to the door, scattering some chickens who’d escaped the coop. He was surprised to see the expensive lock on what had always been an unlocked door. Anna must have been nervous without him. He experienced a pang of guilt.
Till The Wind Blows Silent Page 16
