by Tasha Blue
She gasped when he filled her. He penetrated deep and hard causing sheer pleasure to wrack both their bodies. Her legs hugged him tight as she rode him. His thrusts were slow, rough, and deliberate.
She could see in his eyes that he was struggling to hold on. He was waiting for her. Each painful thrust she felt him grow harder.
His grip around her wrists grew tighter the longer they went. But he didn’t give up. He slowed down, crashing his pelvis against her, pushing up against her firmly.
Oh God, how could feelings such as these exist? Her head screamed as he slowly brought her to finish, her body growing rigid as she climaxed. More and more…harder and harder he pulsed in her. The burning grew from a dull ache of pleasure to an intense sharp burning hunger.
Just a few more…
In those last moments of rapture, she let her heart go. “I want you forever,” she whispered.
“I do too Babe,” he responded, delivering the final thrust that drove them both over the line. She gritted her teeth as a cry of sheer pleasure escaped her lips, intense jolts of electric ecstasy wracking her body over and over endlessly.
She was pretty sure she felt him release within her. His back stiffened and he moaned loudly, pushing hard up in her with every orgasmic convulsion.
Not quite understanding the depth of emotions suddenly taking hold of her, she found herself sobbing. It wasn’t as if she were unhappy. As a matter of fact, it was quite the opposite.
Her tears flowed down flushed hot cheeks. She felt stupid and embarrassed to let him see, but as they collided together in those last sinful moments, she knew she shouldn’t care. Her heart was his. That’s how it would always be.
“My love,” he acknowledged the sparkling tears rolling down dark cheeks. He touched one with his hands after having let go of her wrists. He was still inside her.
“I’m sorry,” she wiped away her tears self-consciously. “I’m stupid and being a girl.”
“Why are you crying?” he looked genuinely concerned. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. Smiling a squinty smile, she touched his cheek with her hand. “I’m crying because I love you so much it hurts. It’s my own way of letting it out. Sometimes I don’t think I can handle how much I feel for you. It was perfect and I’m just being a silly hormonal woman.”
“I know how you feel,” he said, nuzzling her neck with his head.
Chapter12
Charles had decided to extend the vacation quite a while longer. With all things in consideration, everything had gone smoothly until his sleeping habits started to change. Sometimes Amber would wake up in the middle of the night to an empty bed as fitful dreams plagued him at night. Sometimes he would wake up yelling. But one night in particular he drew a knife and almost stabbed her in the chest. It was purely instinct but he couldn’t forgive himself for it.
Now he wouldn’t sleep with her at night. They would start off together, cuddling or making love, but then he would leave as soon as she had drifted off. He was afraid to hurt her.
Never had she ever felt so alone than those hours without her love in her bed. Those were the nights she discovered one more truth about her handsome fiancé. His PTSD was rooted much deeper than he had let on.
At first she was okay with it. She let him do his own thing and was satisfied with the few hours a night she was in his arms. But after a while it started to hurt not having him in bed with her. She could barely sleep now, sometimes waking up to his fitful dreaming all the way in the living room.
“Talk to me,” she had begged him one night. “Maybe it would make things better.”
It was one thing he refused to speak of. The horrors of wars past completely haunted him. What had triggered them, she didn’t know. But in a way it was her burden to bear as well as his. It began to take a toll on their relationship. The distance between them widened into a seemingly endless gap. She couldn’t take it anymore.
She retreated to her comfort zone and in the arms of her welcoming friends. She told Charles she needed some time to herself, which was a perfect excuse. He had been called to a business meeting in New York. It would be much better to stay with her friends than be alone.
Leaving the island, she took a plane back to New York where she was greeted with warmth and affection.
A lot had happened in the few weeks she was away. As she met up with her friends for a girl’s day out shopping, she had to search the crowd for a baby carriage now. This she would have to get used to.
Dressed in a pink blouse, white skirt, and glittery silver pumps, she walked in front of the endless clothing stores. A platinum credit card weighed heavy in her purse, tugging for her to spend endless amounts of money. This was probably the first time she had dared to go out with it. It was a present from Charles for this exact purpose. What a shopping spree today was going to be.
She spied Melanie’s big fancy white hat from yards away. As always she was wearing something outrageous in the new trends of fashion these days. Some of the things were amazingly gorgeous, while others she would scratch her head about. Who could design such abnormally looking outfits and dare to charge so much? After all, money was no object in the world of Melanie when it came to buying clothes. That was the basic truth.
All the girls squealed at once upon seeing Amber. Melanie was the quickest, obviously not dragging a baby buggy along with her. She was wearing some kind of odd baggy pants, pump stilettos, and a loose peach colored blouse. Of course she looked like a bag all around, but leave it to Melanie to pull it off with style. And as the sun beat down on her, she rocked the Hollywood shades rather nicely.
“D’ahhh!!!!!!” Those were the exact words that came out of the red head’s mouth. Her long curls were bouncing as she skidded to a stop. “Oh my gosh, hi! It’s been forever.”
“Oh my gosh, I know,” Amber felt the energy from her friend almost rub onto her, jumping up and down involuntarily. This was how it always was being with her best friends. How she missed them.
Both girls jumped and hugged, taking care not to smudge each other’s makeup.
“You look great girl,” Melanie complimented just as Sasha joined in on the fun.
“Thank you,” Amber replied, scanning herself a once over and purposefully flipping her hair.
Turning to greet her other friend, they too both squealed and hugged. Sasha had her happy glow back. The days of darkness were finally behind her and she looked happy again. She was thin and eating properly.
Sasha beamed and then gestured to her baby boy. “Isn’t he precious?”
Leaning over the carriage to see, Amber sighed at the tiny little bundle. He was probably the most adorable thing she had seen in a while. His tiny little fist was balled up next to his head as he stared wide-eyed at the world.
Agreeing enthusiastically, Amber said, “Yes, he’s so cute.” Then getting serious she turned to her friend. “Are you doing okay girl?”
Sasha nodded, and then pointed at Melanie. “As okay as I can be with this one living in my home now.” She poked fun at Melanie who pretended to be hurt and walk away.
“Hey,” she teased, “I have to see your sorry ass too and listen to Abel cry every night. That’s no walk in the park either,” she growled softly, while back tracking to rejoin the tiny little group. No matter how hard she tried to seem menacing, it just never seemed to work.
Amber crossed her arms impatiently, wanting some attention to herself. “Okay we get it. You two are annoying. How about I rub in that I’ve been on vacation the last couple weeks?” She stuck her tongue out playfully. Whenever she was with her girlfriends, the child in her would always come out. It was perhaps one of the best feelings in the world.
“Oh hush, why the hell do we care?” Melanie insisted, brushing off the announcement with a flip of her hand. “I’m just kidding. I was pretty jealous when you sent me those pictures. It’s beautiful over there,” She exclaimed. “I wish you would’ve invited us…loser.” Then she giggled at herself.
&n
bsp; Only Melanie found herself funny. She was the kind of girl to laugh at her own jokes until she fell to the floor.
Silence fell on the little group for a second. They all looked at one another in turn. Never had they seemed so alive.
After a second, Melanie announced the plans for the next few hours. And in turn, they all began to file towards the nearest nail salon. Today was beauty day and full makeovers were in order.
“Come on girl,” Melanie had insisted. “I know you have that fancy credit card in your purse just oozing money. Please tell me your man gives you a good chunk of dough to spend. He has to be loaded. I saw his fancy ass car.”
Amber smiled a bit but it faded quickly. Charles was another subject she wasn’t quite sure how to handle. She loved him dearly, but lately it was getting harder to feel anything towards him when she felt abandoned all the time. He always had to leave her for some business meeting, not returning until nightfall. Perhaps he had planned it out that way for her to spend time with his parents, but just approaching them made her feel unwelcome and awkward.
She nodded and patted her small little purse. “Oh trust me, I got the dough today,” she assured her greedy friend. “But none for you.”
“Bitch,” Melanie frowned, apparently hoping to have access to that beautiful platinum card. She motioned them to follow her, having a plan as always for the day.
First stop was the nail salon, then the clothing stores. Melanie had her heart set on a brand new outfit. Unfortunately, her shopping style took hours upon hours to decide what she wanted. In the meantime, the girls talked about little things. Their conversations didn’t get interesting until they stopped at the little outdoor café for a bite to eat. The streets were bustling with people, but this little corner was perhaps on a quieter end of the street. They didn’t have to shout amongst throngs of people in business suits to communicate.
Melanie had ordered a soup and chicken salad sandwich. Wrinkling her nose, she rather intensely picked at the halved grapes in her sandwich, tossing them aside disgustedly.
Meanwhile, Sasha was protesting at such a waste. She seriously eye balled the sad unwanted little grapes. “The hell girl,” she asserted rather boisterously. “If you don’t want them, then hand them over, you picky bitch. Damn…” She stabbed at the grapes in Melanie’s sandwich that were covered in a creamy mess.
Melanie scrunched her face wryly and raised her hands in the air. “Have at them. You’re disgusting,” she hissed. She jingled the loose bangles on her wrists.
Amber just sat in the sidelines plowing through her Caesar salad until she could stand it no more. “So,” she drew attention to herself. “I don’t know what to do with myself.” She looked hopelessly at the greens on her plate. For some reason they didn’t appeal to her so much anymore.
Both girls looked at her with sarcastic expressions.
“You’re kidding me, right?” Sasha was the first to speak. “You’re getting married to a rich British billionaire who also happens to be ex-military, and you don’t know what to do with yourself?” She laughed incredulously. “Better start thanking God for that one.”
Melanie merely nodded along, stuffing her face with another bite of salad. “You’re sure damn lucky girl.” The words were barely audible as she chewed down.
“I know I am,” Amber treaded the subject lightly. “And I am grateful for how fortunate I am. But that is beside the point. He’s ex-military like you said and that’s the problem. He doesn’t sleep at night and when he does he has nightmares.”
Melanie pointed out the obvious. “I believe you’re talking about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, honey bun.”
“I know what it is,” Amber snapped.
Raising her eye brow, she apologized. “Sorry. Was just saying.”
“He won’t sleep with me at night anymore. Like at first he would, but now he just waits for me to fall asleep.”
“Where does he sleep?” Sasha questioned curiously.
“On the couch usually, or wherever he can get comfortable.”
“I’m sorry girl,” Sasha tried to sympathize. “Has he tried to explain things to you? Did he used to do that?”
“I don’t know. I never really paid attention to his sleeping habits. I think its how he’s always been. But it’s something I’ll just have to get used to… He won’t sleep with me anymore after nearly stabbing me in the middle of the night.”
“Seems to me he needs a special kind of woman to help him get through this. And if you think you’re that woman for him, then it will all be worth it in the end.” Sasha’s motherly instincts were taking over as she rocked the baby carriage back and forth. Baby Abel had begun to stir.
Amber dared to ask the one question on her mind. “Did your husband ever have that problem when he got back from overseas years ago?”
Sasha’s eyes darkened at the mention of her dead husband.
“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have…” Amber trailed her sentence as Sasha shook her head.
“No, its okay. And yes, my husband went through a long time like that as well. There were nights he would drink himself to sleep. Those were the problems I had with it. But we kept through it and I encouraged therapy. After a time he got better and we were able to mend our relationship.” She took a sip of her sweet tea to hide the moistening tears. Apparently the memory of him was still painful.
The conversation came to a standstill. The women just finished eating in silence until Melanie settled eyes on a young hunk of a male.
“Excuse me, ladies,” she said while wiping her mouth and fixing her boobs. “Mm, baby, give me a piece of that ass.”
“I swear she thinks between her legs,” was all Sasha said.
*
The apartment felt oddly lonesome as Amber lay cuddled in the huge bed. Tonight was the first night back in New York and Charles wouldn’t be joining her for another day or two. It depended on his work schedule.
Sometimes she hated his work because of how much it ruled his life. Back when she had met him was his off season. There wasn’t really a whole lot requiring his attention. Now it seemed every day there was a reason for him to stay away from her even longer.
It was midnight and everything lay in darkness. The weather had started to change and the air grew chill during the night.
She lay snuggled in her large king bed surrounded by pillows galore. Nothing disturbed her sleep. Not even the sound of night bugs outside her window until her phone began to vibrate like crazy.
Rubbing her eyes sleepily and squinting at the bright light, she felt for her phone. Who was calling her at this time of night?
The private number kept buzzing as she declined the call, sending it straight to voicemail. After a few moments, the familiar sound of the message alert tone beeped softly.
She sighed, entering her voicemail. She had only the one call and it was a few seconds long.
After listening to it thoroughly, her blood froze. In the huge mess of things she had forgotten all about the money she was supposed to acquire. And now they were leaving her creepy messages. Were they in the building at this very minute waiting for her?
When her phone buzzed again, her text alert sounded.
Your time is up…
“Shit,” she voiced. It echoed in the room to reveal how truly alone she was. She didn’t have the money.
A loud knock on the door permeated the silence. If her blood hadn’t frozen completely, it did now. Her heart dislodged from her throat.
She crept out of the covers and tiptoed into the living room. She refused to close her bedroom door when she was alone in the house. Now she had begun to wish she had.
The fireplace next to the doorway meant there were stokers nearby. So she aimed for them, skirting the couch and feeling her way in the dark.
Every time the door pounded, as it was getting louder, her heart leapt in her throat. And then everything grew silent. She heard a series of clicking, the squeak of the front door opening, and softened foo
tsteps.
Dear God…they had broken in to her apartment.
Her hand shook as she grabbed the long poker from its holder. She was dressed in small shorts and a loose t-shirt, but she felt naked.
Aiming for the couch, she took shelter and knelt next to it, bathing in its shadow. Suddenly she wished she had grabbed her phone and brought it with her. But it was too late now to flip out about it.
The shuffling noises stopped and everything lay still. She didn’t like the fact that she didn’t know who was in her home, or where they were.
Almost instantaneously she was knocked back and put in a headlock. She tried to scream, but couldn’t.
“Jesus, Babe, what the hell are you doing with that?” It was Charles’ voice. He dislodged the poker from her in an attempt to keep her from swinging.
Amber coughed when he let her go. He had done his best to be gentle. “I thought you were…” She caught herself in time before telling him exactly why she was defending herself.
“I couldn’t get in but I managed to hail down one of the bag boys to open the door. Luckily he hadn’t gone home for the night,” he exclaimed while flipping on a lamp.
“Be honest with me, please, my love. You can tell me anything,” he encouraged. “You shouldn’t be afraid of anything here. Trust me. I have the highest security in this place. There shouldn’t be anyone breaking in anytime soon.”
“Some security, a bag boy broke into here.”
“Okay well that’s beside the point. I have my own connections of keeping safe,” he said. “Now tell me, really, Babe. What’s on your mind? You look like a disheveled mess.”
She contemplated telling him everything. She wanted to be open with him, to be honest, and to be able to entrust everything to him. It was the hardest thing for her to put trust in a single person. After all, she grew up on the basis of trusting herself and herself alone.
The more she thought about it, the more she dreaded being afraid. She didn’t like keeping secrets from him. So she sighed and told him the whole story.
At first she told him about her childhood, how she grew up, and the kind of family that adopted her from the system.
