by C. Gockel
The radio was humming softly in the background and, while she moved from one delicate cake to another, she imagined the response in her head.
‘Wow, these cupcakes are amazing!’ the tall, Amazonian and slightly scary-looking Brazilian dancer Marina would say. ‘Who made them?’
‘Oh, just me,’ Skye pictured herself replying airily. ‘I had some free time this afternoon.’
‘Darling, we simply must be best friends straight away.’ And Marina would extend a graceful arm out towards her while planting several air kisses above Skye’s cheeks.
A sleepy voice interrupted her reverie. ‘What on earth are you doing, Skye?’
Half turning, she spotted Joy and grinned, holding a single cupcake aloft and waving it in her direction. ‘I’m creating a conversation starter.’
‘Cake?’
‘Yeah, do you want some?’
Joy arched an eyebrow in her direction. ‘You realise that if I eat it, I’ll be too busy cramming it into my mouth to talk?’
Skye hesitated for a beat before recovering. ‘But when you’ve finished it, then you’ll be happy to chat to the master baker who provided it.’
‘Hmmm…’ Her flatmate’s response was non-committal.
‘Everyone loves cupcakes,’ said Skye firmly.
Joy shrugged, reached into the fridge and pulled out a carton of orange juice. ‘Sure.’
Dismissing her lack of enthusiasm, Skye turned back to her sugary art work. ‘I just need a way to get to know other people, that’s all. You guys are great. I barely know you and you’ve been so welcoming and made it so easy. But I find it harder at work. There are more people and I clam up and then…’ Her voice trailed off.
‘Hon, you’ve just got to talk to them. Have a chat, shoot the breeze, chew the fat, you know?’
‘Talk the talk and walk the walk, you mean?’
Joy grinned without a trace of self-consciousness. ‘Too many idioms in a row?’
Skye smiled back. ‘Yeah, maybe.’
‘Hey, we’re not all masters of the English language like you.’
‘If I was truly a master of the English language then I’d be able to speak it without automatically blushing,’ Skye muttered to herself.
‘You just need more practice, Skye,’ said Joy gently. ‘Leave those cakes alone for a moment and come and sit down.’
‘I need to finish these off,’ she protested.
‘They’ll wait.’ Joy took her by the elbow and pulled her onto one of the wooden kitchen chairs. ‘Now, imagine I’m one of the bartenders. We’re in the staffroom and it’s just the two of us. What will you say?’
‘Er, hi?’
‘It’s not supposed to be a question, Skye. Try again.’
‘Okay, yes, you’re right.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Hello.’
‘Hello.’
A moment of silence passed, while Skye shifted awkwardly in her seat.
‘You’re going to need to say something else at some point,’ Joy nudged.
Skye chewed on her bottom lip. ‘Um, do you come here often?’
Joy’s shoulders started to shake and her face contorted in a spasm. The kitchen door opened and Emma appeared, still in her pyjamas despite the late hour. She began to lift a hand in sleepy greeting then stared down at Joy in some alarm. ‘Are you okay?’
A tiny snort escaped from Joy. She clamped both her hands over her mouth but it was clear nothing was going to prevent the explosion. A single tear rolled down her cheek before she finally erupted into gales of laughter. Emma looked completely nonplussed.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked Skye, who was watching Joy with a look of resigned amusement.
‘We’re having an imaginary conversation,’ she explained. ‘Joy is a bartender in the staffroom at work and I’m me.’
Emma looked even more confused.
‘Small talk practice,’ wheezed Joy through her giggles.
A look of dawning comprehension spread across Emma’s face and she grinned. ‘Brilliant! Who can I be?’ She didn’t wait for an answer but instead snapped her fingers. ‘I know, I’ll be Helios.’
‘The owner?’ Skye squeaked. ‘Why would he be in the staffroom?’
Emma shrugged. ‘Maybe he’s checking up on his newest recruit.’ She deepened her voice. ‘So, how are you finding things at our little club then?’
Skye sighed and gave in. ‘They’re fine. Things are fine.’
‘Fine?’ Emma boomed. ‘Is that all you can say?’
Pushing her chair back, Skye stood up and walked back to the kitchen counter to pick up a cupcake, which she held out. ‘Cake?’ she asked.
Joy burst into another round of giggles.
Skye shook her head. ‘This is no help.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Joy gasped. ‘I’ll be serious. Instead of the staffroom, imagine I’m a customer. Someone important.’
‘And devastatingly handsome to boot,’ added Emma.
‘In fact, you’ve taken one look at me and you know I’m Mr Right. How are you going to approach me?’
‘Mr Right? At Nemesis?’ Skye tugged at her ponytail. ‘I suppose I could ask you if you wanted a drink.’
‘Go on then.’
‘Would you like a drink?’
‘No, not like that!’ Emma licked her lips slowly and blinked. ‘Hello,’ she cooed. ‘I’m Skye and today I’ll be your waitress. Is there anything you desire?’
Skye’s cheeks flushed. ‘I’d never say that.’
‘Just try.’
‘Hello. I’m Skye and today I’ll be your waitress. Is there anything you’d like?’
‘Is there anything you desire,’ prompted Emma.
Skye sighed. ‘Is there anything you desire?’
Joy smiled like a predator. ‘Only you.’
Skye rolled her eyes. ‘This is ridiculous.’ She turned back to finish her icing.
‘Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, hon.’
‘It’s just not me.’
‘Promise us you’ll try it just once tonight. See what happens.’
Emma nodded. ‘What’s the worst thing that could happen if you do?’
‘The ground will open up and swallow me whole.’
‘Skye…’
‘Fine. I promise, okay? Anything to get you two to leave me alone.’
‘Perfect. And it’ll be extra quiet in the Chill-out Room tonight anyway, so it’ll be easier.’
Skye wasn’t convinced that anything would make it easier but she was slightly perplexed. ‘Why will it be quiet?’
‘Haven’t you heard? Orpheus are playing tonight.’
‘The place is going to be rammed,’ grinned Joy. ‘It’s so exciting. I’m going to try and weasel my way into helping backstage. Maybe I’ll even get to meet Oz in person.’
‘Oz?’
Skye received a light punch on the arm. ‘The lead singer, of course!’
‘Of Orpheus?’
Emma shook her head. ‘You’ve never heard of them, have you?’
Skye just looked at her blankly.
‘Despite your master’s degree, your education has been severely lacking. I’ll get my iPhone while you finish off those cakes.’ She grinned. ‘We’ve got some serious work to do.’
Chapter Five
It was late in the day by the time Coop finally made it to the heavy gates of Olympus. In times gone by, the stronghold had been located on the summit of Mount Olympus in Greece; however, with the advent of tourism the gods had shifted slightly to a pretty cedar and pine-tree forest further down the slopes and close to the picturesque town of Litochoro.
The sprawling complex was still carefully concealed from most human eyes by some kind of clever manipulation by Hera. It had once been a fairly simple operation but the advent of air flight, not to mention satellite technology, meant that the concealment methods had become more and more complex over the years. Hera had attempted to explain it to Coop one afternoon and he’d done his best to listen politely. She was
, after all, the Queen of the Heavens. Actually it was rather tedious stuff and he would be hard-pressed now to even begin to understand how it worked.
Coop wasn’t entirely sure why they bothered trying to hide it. Plenty of humans were aware of their existence; in fact, one of the reasons why he ventured into Olympus so rarely was the number of supplicants who arrived daily, asking for some boon or other.
His mother had told him patiently that if most of the world lacked faith, it was because believing otherwise would complicate their lives and muddy their understanding of how they thought things worked. In other words, knowing there really were gods on earth would create so much chaos and confusion that it was easier to maintain their existence was a myth.
Coop had barely stepped foot through the door and he already felt annoyed. Sweeping through the marble hallway was Apollo, with a ridiculously large entourage trailing after him.
When he caught sight of Coop he shouted, ‘Cupid! I hear you’ve been a naughty little boy.’
Irritated, Coop balled up his fists and strode up to the Sun God. ‘Well, you know what they say about all work and no play,’ he replied evenly.
Apollo smirked. ‘Are you trying to suggest that I’m a dull boy? I’m off out tonight in London with a few friends. Orpheus are playing in Helios’s nightclub. If you really want to find out what fun is, you should come along. Maybe I could teach you a thing or two about holding your drink. You know, so that you don’t screw up your one and only job because you’re too drunk to see straight.’
A muscle jerked in Coop’s cheek. Apollo leaned in, lowering his voice to a whisper. ‘Are you about to throw your toys out of the pram? I always wondered why you’re depicted as a naked baby. It seems those artists actually knew you rather well, after all.’
Hermes appeared out of nowhere at Coop’s side. ‘Your mother is waiting.’
Apollo’s eyes gleamed. ‘Yes, you’d better run along now.’
A growl emanated from Coop’s throat.
‘Coop,’ began Hermes warningly.
‘I’m coming,’ he said shortly, using every ounce of willpower to turn on his heel and not punch the smug bastard in the face.
‘You shouldn’t let him get to you,’ said Hermes, once they were out of earshot.
‘Just because he’s Zeus’s bloody progeny doesn’t make him special.’
‘Actually, it kind of does,’ Hermes pointed out.
‘Whose side are you on?’
‘I’m not going to bother answering that. And your mother is waiting. Let’s not annoy her any further.’
The pair of them strode out through a small walled courtyard area. Harmonia, one of the spirits, was sitting on a small marble bench with a book in one hand and a brightly coloured bird resting on the other. She glanced up as they walked through. Coop sent her a wink. She smiled shyly back at him.
‘If I winked at her, she’d probably run a mile,’ grimaced Hermes.
Coop shrugged. ‘You need to work on developing some more winning ways with the ladies.’
‘And perhaps making myself look like I’m the God of Love,’ Hermes said, with an envious look at his friend’s golden good looks and well-toned physique.
‘Believe me, I’d rather have your job. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, mate.’
‘And therein lies the problem.’
Coop looked up and sighed dramatically when he realised who had just spoken. ‘Mother. You have developed the most irksome habit of showing up out of nowhere and interrupting my conversations.’ He gestured expansively, stretching out his arms into the air. ‘Come on then. Tell me off again for making a simple error, so I can get out of here.’
Aphrodite raised her eyebrows. ‘Oh, it’s not me you’re going to talk to. I think I’ve made my feelings quite clear on the matter.’ There was a particular edge of ice to her voice.
‘So who am I going to talk to?’
She pointed over to the large double doors on the left-hand side of the hall. They were engraved with serpents and monsters, each caught in a position of frozen wrath.
‘Go in and find out,’ she said softly, flicking a quick glance at Hermes. ‘It’s probably better if you stay outside.’
‘Gladly, my lady.’
Coop glanced from one to the other and back again. Then he straightened his shoulders. ‘Whatever. Bring on your worst.’
A sad smile touched Aphrodite’s lips as he sauntered over to the doors, dramatically pulled them open and walked into the other room. Then she followed him in.
The room was a vast, empty, windowless space with black marble floors that glinted and shone. A robed figure was waiting at the far end.
‘Great,’ Coop muttered, without breaking his stride.
He continued forward, walking as arrogantly as he dared. When he finally reached the figure, he pasted on a smile and waved his arm around. ‘Is this supposed to intimidate me, Lord Zeus?’
The King of the Heavens stared at him expressionlessly. ‘You fucked up.’
Coop blinked. ‘Okay, yes, I admit it. I made a mistake. It’s hardly the end of the world though.’
‘Your attitude is causing your kind mother considerable concern.’
He almost laughed aloud. Kind mother? That would be the day.
‘So give me my penance and be done with it,’ he drawled.
‘This is not about punishment, boy. This is about learning a lesson.’
‘Then I am yours to teach.’
Aphrodite sucked in her breath at the faint hint of mockery in her son’s voice.
Zeus didn’t react to it. ‘What is the issue?’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘The issue. The problem. Why are you so blasé about your job and your position?’
Coop looked him directly in the eyes. ‘It’s a lie. You’re asking me to go around changing people’s lives on the basis of a lie. I’ve had enough of it.’
‘You’ve had enough,’ Zeus repeated flatly. ‘You’ve had enough of making people happy.’
‘What I do to them, what I make them feel, it’s not real. It’s not fair. On the basis of some whim, I have to make them fall in love.’
‘Some whim? You know very well these are couples who are destined to be together. What you do gives them nothing more than a push in the right direction.’
‘If they’re destined to be together, then they don’t need me.’
‘You are trying my patience. People don’t get happy endings without a little bit of work first. You just make that work easier.’
Coop shrugged. ‘Whatever.’
Zeus’s eyes turned stone grey. ‘I am going to put you into isolation. Maybe that will help you appreciate how important it is to be with another person.’
‘Excellent. That sounds like a brilliant idea, my lord. I’ve been meaning to take a break.’
‘You mistake me.’ Zeus folded his arms. ‘You will still do the job you have been tasked with.’
‘Forgive me, but I’m hardly going to be isolated then, am I?’
‘No-one from Olympus or from the human world will see you, Cupid. From this moment on, until I deem otherwise, you will be invisible. You’ll still be able to do your job, but no-one will see you to interact with you. Perhaps it will make you realise how devastating it can be to feel lonely. It will also make it considerably harder to order drinks.’
Coop mulled it over. ‘I think I’ll manage,’ he said finally.
‘None of your friends or lackeys or hangers-on is allowed to visit your place of residence either.’
‘Hold on, that’s not fair,’ Coop began to protest.
‘The order is already in place. And as soon as you leave here, the invisibility will take effect. You will still do your job and complete the orders given to you by your mother.’ Zeus looked briefly at Aphrodite. ‘Fuck up again and the consequences will be more permanent.’
‘But…’
‘Now go.’
Coop stared at him. This was a bit extreme,
considering it had only been one teeny-weeny little error. However, despite the fact it was meant to be a punishment, being invisible opened up all manner of possibilities. He aimed for a hangdog look.
‘Very well,’ he murmured, then turned and walked out.
Both Zeus and Aphrodite watched him go.
‘You realise he thinks that being invisible is going to be fun,’ she murmured.
‘It may well be for the first few days. I don’t imagine he will be feeling quite so happy about it in a few weeks’ time.’
‘He’s so immature,’ Aphrodite sighed. ‘And yet so cynical at the same time. I hope this works.’
Zeus permitted himself a small smile. ‘Oh, it will work, believe me.’
Outside, Hermes was slumped against a wall. He straightened up abruptly when Coop came out. ‘It was Zeus, wasn’t it? What the hell happened? What did he do?’
Coop snorted. ‘He thinks by making me invisible I’ll learn that being lonely is a bad thing, being in love is a good thing, and forcing people to feel that way is even better.’
‘Invisible?’ Hermes started. ‘Seriously? That’s so cool!’
Coop grinned. ‘Yeah. And I know just where I’m going to start. There’s a certain Sun God who needs taking down a peg or two.’
‘Er, is that really such a good idea?’
‘Herm, my friend,’ Coop answered, clapping him on the shoulder, ‘it’s more than good. This punishment may well turn out to be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’
Chapter Six
Skye smoothed down her black skirt and gave herself one final glance in the mirror. She’d already deposited the full tray of cupcakes on the table in the staffroom, managing to transport them all the way to Nemesis without any of them getting too crushed or lopsided. She was feeling good about this evening. Joy and Emma had played her numerous songs from Orpheus’s last album and then Chrissie, her other flatmate, had wandered in to join them. Before long they were sitting in the kitchen using all manner of utensils as makeshift microphones and singing off-key at the top of their voices – until their next-door neighbour had started banging on the wall and shouting at them to shut up.
