‘Get away from her. There’s nothing we can do except hope it’ll be over soon.’
They stood watching Laura as she continued having spasms and slithered across the floor like an eel. Slowly the fit subsided and she lay twitching and snorting. Her body was black and blue where she had slammed against the furniture and the wound to her head bled freely.
As soon as she was calm enough, Justin lifted her and carried her to the bed.
William fetched wet towels to wipe the blood from her head, then watched as Justin dressed her in a satin nightie. He tucked the sheet tightly around her and took the wedge out of her mouth. She was still now, in a deep sleep. William was moved by the tenderness Justin showed her.
At last Justin turned to him. ‘I’m so glad to see you, Willy.’
‘And I’m glad to see you, Justin. I’ve missed you.’
Only then did he see the scratch marks on Justin’s face, the bruises on his neck. ‘Dear God, don’t tell me she did that to you?’ William said, shocked.
Justin shook his head. ‘No, I fell. It looks a lot worse than it is.’
William made him sit down, got some disinfectant and bathed the cuts. Some were so deep they bled profusely. Justin remained silent throughout.
Tears slid down Justin’s cheeks, which William wiped away. He did not know why it happened, but suddenly he took Justin’s face in his hands and kissed him on the cleaned wounds and his neck, but was afraid to move to the lips he wanted more than anything to touch with his.
Justin clung to him as though he never wanted to let go, and the kiss, when it came, was instigated by him. For William it was shocking but also the ultimate pleasure of his life. The embrace took him to a world of love he had believed was beyond his reach. He was filled with desire and hope. This was where he knew Andrew Maynard had been; this was the love he had written about. A shining peace swept through every fibre of his body.
‘I’m so glad you’re here, Willy,’ Justin murmured.
‘Me too.’ William hesitated before he spoke again. ‘I’ve missed you, Justin. I’ve also been so afraid, but it’s all going to be all right now. I’m here for you both. It’s all going to be all right, I’m sure.’
‘Is it, Willy?’ Justin said. ‘Promise? I bet you daren’t! There’s so much you don’t know about me and Laura. We’re not good people, Willy. I’m not a good person.’
‘Justin, trust me, I know everything about you and Laura now, and it doesn’t make any difference to me. Marta told me. She loves you and … and no one will ever hurt either of you again. I’ll see to that.’
He went to the door, overwhelmed by his emotions, but he knew it was not quite over yet: he had to know more. ‘I’ll arrange for Dahlia to sit with her and we’ll get Marta over here.’ He faced Justin. ‘I have to eat. Would you join me?’
Justin followed him. ‘I’m so glad to be with you, Willy. I don’t think this time I could have coped. I’ve been on my own for so long, and I’m tired. Laura needs to be taken care of, she always has. These fits get worse. I’ve been told that each time it happens, her brain is damaged a little and it terrifies me.’
William put his arm around Justin’s shoulders. To his delight, Justin caught his hand and threaded his fingers through it.
‘You’re not on your own, Justin, not any more. You’ve got me, and I’ll get Laura the best medical attention money can buy. She’s my responsibility now.’
‘Why?’ Justin asked.
‘I love you both, that’s why.’
Justin appeared to accept his answer and they strolled on into the house.
William fingered the stem of his glass. He had to choose his words carefully. They had both bathed and changed, and now sat across the table from each other. Yet again, he had a feeling of peace and calm, as if his life at long last had come into focus.
‘I have never been what I would call a happy man,’ he began. ‘There has been little joy in my life. But suddenly I realized … you have given me that. It hasn’t been plain sailing, but I look forward to seeing you more than anyone. And when I began to think you were …’ he sipped the champagne ‘… planning murder, it was not that you were about to commit a crime that concerned me, it was the thought that I might not see you again. I realized you had become a very important part of my life. But I need to be told the truth, all of it, so that, if need be, I can protect you both. You must tell me everything. I want the facts, no matter what they are.’
‘Maybe you won’t like me if you know it all, Willy. You might have taken on more than you bargained for.’
‘Try me. I’m offering you this island as your home, a place to stay for ever. What is your alternative? Where else will you go?’
Justin shrugged. ‘Oh, back to the villa, get some more design commissions. This place will do me a lot of good as far as that goes.’
‘And Laura will go with you?’
‘Yep, that’s the game plan. I’ll earn enough to look after her, and she loves the villa.’
‘Isn’t that where you both suffered so much? Isn’t that the very place she shouldn’t return to – or you for that matter? It’s there, no matter how you disguise it with waterfalls and flowers, that it all happened to you both.’
‘I guess it is, but I’ve never let us think about it. What it looked like then, and what it now is … It’s different. It’s home.’
‘This could also be your home, and you could work from here. You love it here, don’t you?’
‘Yes, you know I do, but …’
‘I would like to make it my home, live here with you both.’ William sat back, twisting the stem of his glass. When he looked up, Justin was staring at him and his body was rigid. Twice he started to say something and then stopped.
William tried to ease the tension. He poured more champagne. ‘I read Andrew Maynard’s diaries, and I was envious of his joy at finding love. He wrote of being so happy that it had changed his life. In many ways, you have changed mine, Justin.’
Justin’s eyes flicked to the dark ocean. ‘Ask me if I killed him, Willy. That’s what you really want to know. All this bullshit about being envious, just cut it out.’
‘Andrew committed suicide,’ William stated.
‘Did he?’
William gripped the stem of his glass.
‘I wrote the note, Willy, let it sink into the bath-water so the writing would be hard to read. I’ve always been expert at copying signatures. I also wrote the yellow sticker to make sure you would be called …’
‘I don’t believe you. How could you know that the housekeeper would call me and that I would remove Andrew’s diaries?’
Justin leaned back in his chair. ‘Because you were in love with him. Maybe you weren’t even aware of it. Andrew sussed that you were. Even if it wasn’t love, you must have desired him in some way. You certainly saw him often enough.’
William stared at the tablecloth. ‘I admired him, I trusted him, I believed that he would have a great future—’
Justin leaned across the table and grabbed his hand. ‘You want me to be truthful – why don’t you start playing the game straight as well? You didn’t lay out all that cash just to be his paymaster. What did you want out of it?’
William flushed as he said angrily that he had wanted Maynard’s success, nothing more. ‘I admired him, yes. Truth was, I bathed in his glory, and I got my knighthood through him, but …’
‘But?’ Justin asked softly, and William couldn’t meet his eyes. He told Justin about a little kid who had sat next to him at school, a stammering boy with long eyelashes who had kissed him and had been killed on a level crossing.
‘Andrew reminded me of Peter Jenkins, that was his name. Maybe there is something latent in me. I doubt if I could face up to it, but I often wondered why I was so distressed about him. But with Maynard I only wanted him to succeed. I wanted him to be my son. I had little or no relationship with Charlie then.’
‘Did you doubt your feelings or did you just not da
re show Andrew what you really felt about him?’
William stared hard at him. ‘I don’t want to answer that, and we’re supposed to be talking about you, not me.’
‘But it all has to be ironed out, don’t you think? Lean forward, Willy.’
William did so, and Justin kissed his lips.
‘Are you afraid to love me?’ Justin asked, and rocked back in his chair. ‘You keep on saying how much you love me and Laura, but let’s take just me. Are you afraid to lie naked next to me, Willy, afraid to let me make love to you?’
‘Yes, I am, and that’s not why we’re here. I have offered—’
‘To take care of me and Laura. But you want me to tell you all my secrets yet refuse to tell me yours, or admit them. I’m not your son. I’m not Charlie. I’m Justin. To what depth does your love want to go?’
‘I won’t answer that. I’m just confused, and I need to know – did you kill Andrew?’
Justin kicked his chair back and walked to the window. ‘Yes. He had to die because he was becoming dangerous. He found out about my background. He was always delving into drawers and trying to find out more and more about me and Laura. Then he found out about his fucking sister and—’
‘She died in a car accident,’ William said, hardly audible.
‘I know. I fixed her brakes. I even followed her along the motorway and saw her car veer across the lanes. Camilla Maynard gave exclusive interviews to Humphrey Matlock. She was part of it. By the way, I held Matlock under the water until he drowned. What do you say about that? I mean, surely you don’t need to ask me why? You said you knew why. You said you knew everything. Well, now you do, and what do you think of me?’
William pushed back his chair and crossed to Justin. He held out his arms and Justin’s bravado evaporated. Like a small boy, he went to William and clung to him, sobs shaking his body. William held him tightly, soothing him, letting him weep until he was silent.
The thoughts that zigzagged through William’s mind made it difficult for him to remain calm. What Justin had said was shocking, yet he had suspected it all along, suspected and been afraid of it since he had talked to Marta at the villa. But it did not feel as if he was holding a killer in his arms, only a wounded boy whose suffering had obsessed him.
‘You’re the only friend I have ever had in my life,’ Justin whispered. He rested his head against William’s shoulder. ‘Sometimes I feel like I am insane. But the need to hurt those who tortured me and Laura would never go away. I had to do it, William, otherwise I would have gone crazy, like Laura.’
William led him back to the table and sat him down. He patted his shoulder, then used a napkin to wipe his tears. ‘How much a part of it is Laura?’
‘Oh, nothing but the planning. We planned everything together. We’re not just brother and sister. We’re lovers. We could only ever trust each other, you see? Can you understand what we became to each other? We were each other’s parents. We were all we dared to love because everyone else seemed intent on destroying us, and the more pain we experienced, the more we were drawn together. Only by being so close could we protect each other.’
William returned to his seat. His mind was in turmoil as he tried to assimilate the terrible things Justin had just told him. But he knew he must not allow Justin to see how affected he was by the truth.
Justin drained his champagne. ‘You’re confusing me,’ he said softly. In the candlelight his face was astonishingly beautiful, his high cheekbones shadowed, his jaw-line chiselled and his eyes glittering like azure stones.
William turned away on the pretext of pouring more champagne. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to … er, confuse you. I’m trying to be as honest as I can. You’ve helped change my life. Now I want to help you straighten out yours. After what you’ve told me …’
‘What if it’s too late?’ Justin said.
‘It’s never too late. Look at what you did for me. And I’m not just referring to making me lose my gut. It’s what you did for me up here,’ William said, tapping his head.
‘But what if my confessions repel you, frighten you? You may betray me out of fear.’
William kept his gaze steady. ‘I will never betray you, Justin, and I mean it. This island will be a safe place. Do you understand what I’m saying? No one can get to you, or harm you or Laura. I will protect you both.’
‘Does that mean you can forgive me and forget what I have done?’
William watched as a multitude of emotions played across Justin’s handsome face. ‘No one is aware of what you have done. Unless they are told or the police reinvestigate Maynard’s suicide, they probably never will be.’
‘Unless you tell them. You see what I’ve just done? I’ve put my life in your hands.’
‘I have promised that I will protect you.’
‘Why? What makes you want to do that? Or, for that matter, what will stop me killing you? Now that I know you know, and you are the only one apart from Laura who does, what do you think will stop me killing you?’
William met Justin’s eyes, and this time he didn’t look away. ‘Because I love you, and you have made a difference to my life. I am prepared to—’
‘Be my lover?’
‘No! Stop that! I am offering to be … like a father to you.’
‘My father is dead,’ Justin said. Suddenly he stood up and his chair fell behind him. ‘Just give me Laura’s diamonds, the ones you promised, and we’ll both leave. I don’t want to hear any more crap from you. You’ve had too much to drink.’
William stood up too. ‘The diamonds are under your sister’s pillow.’ He noticed this freaked Justin. He continued, ‘I’ve also destroyed the tapes. You will never be able to use them against anyone.’
‘Oh, I see. So you want to destroy me next,’ Justin snarled.
‘No, I don’t. You’ve not been listening to what I’ve been saying. I’m offering—’
‘What the fuck do you want from me? What do you expect me to say to you? Do you want to keep me here like some fucking plaything? What’s happened, Willy? You still afraid to come out of your closet? Why don’t you admit it now? Go on, look at me. Tell me you want me to fuck you. Do you think that’s what I want? You? With your wispy hair and flaccid belly? I don’t want you near me, you repel me, and this bullshit about protecting me is all for one reason. You want my body just like that prick Maynard did.’
William hit him hard across the face. Justin stumbled to one side then laughed and started to give William a slow handclap. Then he glared and became the waspish, lisping man Laura and William hated. ‘Well, well, how the worm turns!’
‘What did I say that was so bad, Justin?’ William was not going to be drawn into a shouting match.
Justin pushed his face forward so that he was almost nose to nose with William. ‘You wiped my precious tapes. I needed them. You’re a liar and a two-faced bastard. And you, Willy-boy, are not my father. If you were you’d have a knife stuck in your chest. As it is, if you keep me prisoner on this island you’ll never be safe. I’ll hurl your body off Suicide Point. Just another accident.’
‘You wouldn’t do that to me.’
‘You want to bet?’
Justin turned and walked out, knocking aside the waiter as he carried in their tray. The dishes crashed to the floor but Justin did not turn back. William sat up and shook out his napkin, anything to stop his running after Justin. He had just seen the madness in him, the killer, and it scared him. Whatever he had dreamed up about being a fatherly figure to that wild creature was insanity, and he knew it. But he did not want to back away. He had come to see Justin and to explain himself. But explain what? The reality was that he was in love with Justin. He wanted that love reciprocated, and for a moment when they had embraced, he had felt sure that it was. But instead of telling Justin this he had offered to be a substitute father, and Justin had snarled in his face. And he did want to lie naked beside him, to make love to him. He wouldn’t let Justin’s rejection alter the fact that h
e was still the most important person in his life, and he would stand by what he had offered: his protection.
William forced himself to eat his dinner. Each mouthful was hard to swallow, but he was not going to chase after Justin. He needed to cool off. They had to talk again.
Dahlia put her finger to her lips and pointed to the bed. Laura was propped up with pillows. Her hair had been combed and tied with a ribbon, and there was a plaster across the cut on her head. However, her eyes were clear and bright and her cheeks slightly flushed. She looked like a little girl. A square of black velvet lay across the white sheet. It was covered with sparkling diamonds.
‘She’s had a sedative,’ Dahlia whispered, gesturing for William to move to her side. ‘She doesn’t seem to know where she is.’ Dahlia showed William the tablets, vials and hypodermic needles in Laura’s medicine box. ‘Justin was here. He told me she sometimes reverts back to childhood. It takes time for her to readjust, he said. He also said—’ She faltered.
‘Said what?’
‘That in the past she had electro-convulsive therapy if she remained in her own world. But it was a last resort.’
William nodded then asked her to make him some coffee. As she left, he took her seat by the bed. ‘How are you feeling, Laura?’ he said softly.
She turned and gave him a sweet smile. He was uncertain whether she knew who he was: there was a deadness in her eyes. She blinked slowly at him, then turned her attention back to the sparkling stones.
‘They are diamonds,’ she said slowly, as she began moving them from one side of the black velvet to the other. ‘One for Lord Cedric, one for his wife, one for Clarissa, one for James, one for the Baron, one for the Baroness, this big one for Matlock, and this one for Angela.’ She counted them again, moving them back to the other side of the velvet, her brow furrowed.
Dahlia returned with a tray. ‘She’s been doing that for quite a while. She remembers who was here, so she can’t be that bad,’ she said.
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