‘In which case, you more than anyone will know how desperate we both are to find out what really happened.’
I could see the war going on in her mind, as her knuckles whitened. I decided to press my advantage, instinct telling me I might succeed.
‘To make completely sure no other parent has to know what it is like to see their son or daughter harmed.’
She bowed her head, then moved to the kettle. ‘I can offer you a drink. Much more than that might be asking too much, though.’
‘Lorraine reacted when David Walker was mentioned on the day of the fall,’ I started, firmly, ‘as if there was something about him that she wouldn’t have wanted me to know.’
Rose shot a look past me, as a figure darted in the hallway.
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she said, shaken.
I feared the figure was Kraver, and that this brief opportunity would be lost in seconds. I decided to play the only card I had. I hoped she wouldn’t guess what a low number I had on it.
‘I have spoken to staff at the school,’ I said. ‘They told me you have some information I’d want to know.’
Her eyes widened.
‘Mr. Pendleton, I understand why you’re here, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to get into all of this,’ she said. ‘I think you’d be best off at home with your family.’
‘After Lorraine reacted like that, you told her to not indulge in gossip. Now please. As a woman who knows the pain of what we are going through. What can you tell me?’
Her gaze lowered.
‘What gossip are you talking about?’ I pressed.
‘Come on. It’s more than my job is worth,’ she said.
‘I’ve lost a daughter, and am in danger of losing my partner to the fallout as well. If it is just gossip, then I don’t see the harm in me knowing.’
This seemed to catch her, and she fleetingly met my eye.
‘Please.’
She closed her eyes. ‘If I tell you, will you promise that you won’t let it get back to me? I’m only telling you because - because of my son.’
‘Of course. Now, please. Speak.’
Like a child forced to recite an apology she spoke listlessly.
‘Well, David Walker has rather a nasty cloud hanging over him. A few people went sniffing into his past, and Lorraine heard, from a friend’s husband who works in the prison service, that he had been imprisoned. Before he changed his name.’
‘Imprisoned for what?’
She leveled her gaze onto me. ‘Oh god,’ she said. ‘This is worse than it sounds. Please try to restrain yourself, because I am pretty sure this is just rumors.’
‘Imprisoned for what?’
‘For offences against young girls.’
‘Jesus Christ. And Kraver let him work here?’
She didn’t move.
‘Did the agency know about his past?’
‘I assume Walker successfully got CRB clearance under a new name. Or, perhaps what’s most likely is that the rumors are just that.’ This seemed to comfort her. ‘Yes,’ she said, nodding. ‘That must be it.’
‘But what if they’re not rumors? Did Kraver know that Walker had changed his name? That he had a criminal history?’
‘He was informed, yes. So I assume those concerns came to nothing, and that’s why they employed him.’
I started pacing, a tingling energy coursing through my hands. ‘What the hell is Kraver doing, employing someone like that?’
‘I have no idea,’ she said, drawing towards her seat. ‘I had to stamp the approval of a new employee, so I know he okayed it.’
‘You agreed Walker’s appointment, knowing these rumors?’
‘Oh, Lord, I suppose I did, yes. But only after Kraver promised me that it had been looked into. I thought it best to move on. My husband had an injury at work recently, and we need to pay the bills. You must understand that?’
‘You know there’s going to be an enquiry? That all involved will be interviewed?’
‘An enquiry?’ she said, her mouth forming a small oval.
‘A school enquiry, and in due course a legal enquiry. I don’t think it’s a case of ‘moving on’. It’s all bound to come out in the open.’
Her face grew pale. She cleared her throat. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘It looks like it is.’
TEN
A LETTER TOLD ME that in two months the school’s enquiry would complete. The cool, impassive phrasing insisted that it would be a ‘thorough’ investigation. But it mentioned absolutely no specifics, and I wondered if Rose had sought out Kraver the minute I left the school. I still wasn’t sure if she was more worried about her job than about getting justice for Marine. But what if I was wrong, and I was risking her livelihood for nothing?
I told Juliette that the enquiry would take place, as she slept softly that evening. Something made me reluctant to wake the immobile crescent at my side. Looking over the silver sheen that tinted our room, I wondered when our life had become so spectral.
The next day I had to retrieve some possessions from the school, and I saw a twitch at Kraver’s curtain as I got into my car. The following day I got another letter from him, telling me I could no longer teach at the school. It said that this judgment had been made on the grounds of a decision by the school board that ‘I was not ready to return to work, following a bereavement’. I wondered why he hadn’t bothered to come downstairs and tell me to my face. The looseness of his language, and the vague allusion to my own consent, rattled me.
Blood pulsed in my temples. I immediately phoned the school to contest the decision. The school told me that all I could do was write to their regulatory body, and wait for a response from them. I asked how long this would be, and the administrator, irritated, said ‘how long is a piece of string?’
Whilst I calculated the length of this string my life was in limbo. I knew two important investigations were also taking place - the school’s enquiry and the legal enquiry, which I was assured would ‘run in parallel with one another’.
I hated being a loose end, and I missed the frenzied rush of getting through a day of school. I decided to use the time to make sure the courts got all the information that needed consideration. But the policeman I spoke to, a PC Pollard, was so often away from his desk that I was grateful to even hear back from him. When I told him about Lorraine, Rose and Katy’s concerns he interrupted me, saying ‘yes, yes’. He promised that ‘the police investigation would look into all this’. But something told me he had long ago decided what the police would and would not look at. It was a horrible feeling, having someone in authority pay lip service to fair treatment when their behaviour showed that they had no shame about doing the opposite. But I told myself to trust in the processes. Perhaps this is just how investigations work, I thought. Kraver had picked up on my naivety about them.
It was darkest January when the letter from the school’s enquiry arrived. I had hoped it would come before Christmas, as initially promised, but I was eventually told by the administrative office that it would be delayed until after the break.
All this made for a sedate, tense Christmas. Our first without Marine. Without the hubbub of opening stockings at a criminally early hour, with Juliette instead fixed to the window. I was at Phillip’s house when I got the call, to say that Juliette had come home to a letter about their decision.
Phillip had just returned from a stand-up tour of America, and had texted to ask if I wanted to see a DVD of his final show. I had been glad to get out of the aching tension of our home. It had felt almost like an act of defiance to go to Phillips cool, white, luxury flat. It overlooked a leafy park in which harried-looking people practiced Yoga, and men with beards drummed alone, in a solitary paean to their own individuality.
At the door Phillip had greeted me with a lively punch on the arm. I noticed he was wearing a designer, navy jumper Christine had bought him early in their relationship. He had now bored holes through the sleeves, through which he pushed hi
s thumbs. I wondered briefly what she’d have thought of the modification. As he welcomed me in, his stubbly, strong features and bright eyes lifted my spirit.
His flat was a bit of a mess. The crescent of cream sofas in the lounge area strewn with empty wine bottles. The light from the park seemed to enter the room with some reluctance.
‘Benjamin,’ he said. ‘I’m not even going to ask if you want a beer. With what’s been going on I might as well throw you the whole bloody crate at you right now. Am I right?’
‘Where’s Christine?’ I said. ‘I can’t see her sanctioning alcohol intake during the day.’
Phillip brought me a beer from the fridge, the opened top oozing vapor as he passed it to me. The bathroom door opened, and a moment later a woman stepped softly into the doorway. As she looked up her eyes had a blend of softness and inquisition that I had never seen before. She rubbed her long blonde hair with a towel as she smiled at me.
‘Heya,’ she said, her voice tinged with a Durham accent.
It was only as she rounded the sofas, to sit next to Phillip, that I realized what a vision she was. Her supple flesh somehow shone, and she walked as if she was just becoming aware of the power of her body. She gently placed her slender feet on the glass coffee table, revealing, long, slender legs that stretched from her cotton summer dress.
‘You sure I can’t get you some grapefruit juice?’ Phillip said to her. ‘There’s a cup of Earl Grey cooling in the kitchen.’
‘I’m alright,’ she said.
‘Ben, this is Violet Isaken. We met at a talk the other day, about how social media exposes corruption. I was trying to research this character I’m working on but I didn’t understand much of it. But Violet was there to explain it all to me, weren’t you?’
‘Yes. And I didn’t speak down to him even once,’ she said.
‘Are you also a stand-up comedian?’ I asked, already guessing the answer.
She shook her head, with a sweet smile. ‘Only in my mind. Nah, I’m doing a Masters. About how the CIA tried to work out what made world leaders tick. They built up psychological profiles about each of them, so they could try to work out how to undermine them - if they needed to.’
‘Sounds interesting,’ I ventured. ‘What have you found out so far?’
She reached for one of Christine’s magazines. ‘I don’t know.’ She looked at Phillip. ‘That everyone seems to have a weakness that could potentially topple them?’ As she followed the flickering pages I noticed that the tips of her hair, grazing her exposed shoulders, were almost white.
‘Like what?’
She dropped the magazine and fluttered her eyelashes, embarrassed by the attention. ‘Like, I don’t know, Castro’s weakness was his ego. The world might have been very different if people had learnt to play on the weaknesses of men, you know,’ she said, looking between Phillip and I.
‘Violet’s just had a paper published about some lost pages of a Hitler dossier that she discovered,’ Phillip said.
It was strange to see him being obsequious. He hasn’t won her over yet, I thought. But she must know that’s what he’s trying to do.
Violet nodded. ‘Yeah. I found them by accident about three months into my study,’ she said. ‘My supervisor told me to not to share the pages just yet. But I think he was just afraid I’d get more famous than him.’ She pointed at herself as she said ‘I’, relishing the vowel.
‘You’ve heard the saying, ‘never outshine the master’?’ Phillip asked.
‘No, not until I met you,’ she sang back. She looked at me. ‘In the end I wrote off to a journal about it and then didn’t I just become an overnight success?’ She seemed to enjoy her sarcasm.
‘Ben is a YouTube sensation,’ Phillip said. ‘He had an emotional meltdown in front of a teenager because she mentioned missing her Mum. They’re about to make hotdogs with his face on, or something.’
‘Oh my god!’ she exclaimed, snapping her feet onto the floor. ‘I knew I recognized you!’
‘Yeah, ‘Educating Bristol,’’ I said. ‘That’s what I do, 24/7.’
My bizarre use of an Americanism embarrassed me. But Violet seemed excited, leaning closer. I caught the scent of cocoa butter.
‘I saw that episode where you got that girl to complete her exams and prove herself to her mam. I had tears in my eyes. I’m a fan.’
‘I’m trying to convince him to sign to my agent,’ Phillip said. ‘But he doesn’t trust suits.’
‘Do it,’ she said. ‘Milk it for whatever you can.’ She stood up. ‘I should probably stop wasting your time and get my stuff together,’ she said. ‘Ben, been mint meeting you. Phillip, thanks for letting me use the shower. I couldn’t have got a run in before my lecture otherwise.’
When she had left, I met Phillip’s eye. ‘What?’ he said, with a slight smile.
‘I have three words for you, and I know you know what they are.’
‘What the-’
‘No, not those three words. Where is Christine?’
‘We had an argument during the last tour. She thought I was partying too much, demanded I cut it short and come back home. I refused. She walked.’
‘So you finished with her for a politics student, Phil? Really?’
‘Violet hasn’t replaced Christine. We got talking and we decided to stay in touch. We just got on.’ Philip sat back.
‘How well?’
‘Well, I haven’t got her to stay the night yet. She told you, she just used the shower.’
‘Seems pretty strange.’
‘Hers is on the blink. What could possibly be strange about that?’’
‘You being at a talk, for a start.’
‘I’m taking my job seriously.’
‘Trying to pull earnest young women, more like.’
‘Come on, Ben. You know what your great flaw is? You know what the ‘biggest flaw in Ben’ is?’
‘From a man whose left his girlfriend on a point of principle?’
He smiled.
‘Sure,’ I said, indulging him. ‘Go on.’
‘Your love for Juliette is way too unconditional. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a great woman. But you’ve committed yourself to her so absolutely, you’ve given yourself no leverage!’
‘Yeah, well, I remember what it was like being alone,’ I said. ‘I don’t think you really know what it’s like to have no options.’
‘If you’re a bit envious about me and Violet, Ben, that’s totally normal.’
‘There isn’t a ‘Violet and you’ yet, though is there?’
‘Oh, I see. So I’ve got competition on my hands?’
‘She’s a young woman, Phillip. We’re in our forties. That would be … pervy.’
He slapped his knee. ‘That’s where you’re wrong, you recovering eunuch,’ he said. ‘The people Violet normally dates are kids. They don’t have flats, cars, conditioner.’
I tried to raise an eyebrow, with mixed success.
‘Smart women like that love a man with a few rings in his trunk.’
‘I really don’t know what you’re on about,’ I said. ‘I’ve got far too much to lose.’
‘So you’re loyal to Juliette out of a fear of loneliness? Fear keeping you in line?’
‘Not at all. It’s just, you have to commit fully. Any half-measures and it won’t work.’
‘So how is Juliette at the moment? Any better?’
‘No.’ I sipped the beer. ‘Not good.’
I told him about the enquiry. As I unraveled the whole story of Kraver, Rose, and Lorraine, I found myself squeezing an empty beer bottle he’d left on the table. When my recital ended I realized I was squeezing it so tight that I was surprised it hadn’t shattered in my hands.
Listening to the story, Phillip conducted a strange dance around the room, tidying it as if preparing for some sort of onslaught that he knew was coming.
His phone, half-buried in the cushions next to me, blazed to life. Philip retrieved it, pushed its button, and pinned
it against his shoulder. ‘Hi, Juliette,’ he said. ‘We were just talking about you. Weren’t we, Ben? Are you okay?’ He nodded, briefly, then turned to me. ‘She needs to speak to you, mate.’ As he passed the phone he whispered, ‘It sounds important.’
‘Juliette?’
‘It’s the school’s enquiry,’ she said, her voice torn with anger. ‘It’s a total whitewash, Ben. They’ve not even sent us the report.’
‘Oh, no?’
‘It’s just a summary letter saying ‘The school’s procedures were in no way to blame for what was simply an accident’. I’m going to get on the phone, and make sure the courts are considering everything we know before they come to a decision. The jury will be giving their verdict any day now, but if the police just go by what the school concluded then that enquiry is going to be a complete travesty too.’
‘Jesus Christ,’ I said, looking up at Phillip.
‘I know,’ Juliette replied. ‘If the courts don’t find anyone guilty either, I don’t know what I’m going to do.’
+ + + + +
SCHOOL TRIP DEATH ‘NEEDS PROPER INVESTIGATION’, SAY PARENTS
The parents of a schoolgirl, who fell to her death during a trek on a school trip, tonight launched a bitter attack against her school. They were commenting after a jury yesterday returned verdicts of ‘accidental death’ on Marine Pendleton, 10, who fell whilst taking part in a school walk on Tanners Moor on 4th November.
In a statement the parents Juliette and Benjamin Pendleton said: “We wish to express our profound disappointment at today’s verdict.
“Our cherished daughter went away excited at the prospect of a fun day out with her school friends. Instead she was to never return. Marine was separated from her other schoolmates and she fell from the cliff, due to a lack of proper supervision.
“She should not have been allowed near the edge in the first place, and we are not satisfied that she would have done so if she had been professionally monitored.”
They said the tragedy, which was witnessed by a member of staff, could have been avoided if the school had fully assessed the risks.
An Honest Deceit Page 7
