by Lexi Ostrow
“I am here alone, on my own.”
That surprised him, stopping him from his snarky remark. “Why?”
“This,” he gestured at the bed, “was never going to succeed. You were warned from the beginning, and still, you persisted. Your reasons were less than noble when you began, but when it became about her and not you, all I could see was what a wonderful Guardian Angel you truly were.”
“Falling to protect a charge makes me great?”
“The most powerful Guardian Angels have all given up their wings to protect their charges. Some from dangerous relationships, others because like you, they’d fallen in love. Your father wants you home, wants you impervious to anything save for angel weapons. Gabriel demanded the council save her after you left. Still, he was denied. I know if you accept your wings back, he will happily break the rules to gift them to you.”
“I have no intention of turning my father into that which he hates.”
“He would do it, for you.”
“Then he must understand why I will not take them back. My place is here, by her side. Even the doctors are hopeful this damn infection will pass.”
“And if they save her? Will you return to your place if she can live?”
His heart ached. If he had to leave Cass for this bargain to work, it would be worth it. You should be able to give her up.
“Do not make promises that you cannot keep.” His father was there, making the room ridiculously cramped until he folded up his wings.
“So you would not save her then?”
“I would not. Carlyle is not incorrect. I want my only son home, but a Guardian Angel will always experience loss. You are not cut out for that. I see that first hand. I offered you your battle wings because I thought it was not only what you wanted, but what you were best suited for.”
A storm crackled inside of him, thunder booming and lightning crashing down in his ears as his father chastised him. “That is the last time you will ever put me down. The great Archangel Gabriel is not the best father—and I am done being punished for not being everything you want me to be.”
Electricity danced over his fingertips, and he gasped. That was not a gift he should have, as it had belonged to Battle Angels only. The brewing storm unleashed a bolt of lightning shooting forth where it should not have.
Shock rolled through him. “I do not want these wings!” They unfurled with his thought, a gleaming gold he saw reflected in the small mirror in the room. “When?”
“When you slept last night. I eased your discomfort and left you to think nothing had changed.”
“That is why I saw her aura, but only briefly.”
“Yes.”
“Take. Them. Back.” He stepped closer, finally abandoning his place at Cassandra’s side.
“She will die, Son. Sooner or later, she will die.”
“It will be later.”
“And if it is not?”
“Even if she dies, I don’t want my wings any longer. I might have failed once as a Battle Angel, but you have all failed Cassandra. There is no place amongst you for me.” The electricity dancing on his hands stopped, not because his wings were taken, but because his words nullified his anger with his fear. “That woman lying there is greater than the sum of so many people. She faces an uncertain period in her life and do you know who she looked out for? Me.” Grief wrapped around him and his wings folded up as he collapsed to the floor.
“Gabriel?” Carlyle spoke, but he did not move closer.
“She thought of me. When her world seemed to be ending, whether it truly will or won’t, she thought to protect me. To tell me to find another soul to save and to get my wings back. She thought of me. Not herself.” Tears had become all too common, but he’d never experienced them as an angel, and they still had so much power of him. His entire body shuddered as he cried, practically lying on the hospital room floor.
The sound of wings drew his head up. His lip curled back into a snarl. “That’s it? You’re just going to leave after giving me something I don’t want?”
“There are arrangements to be made. There is nothing left for me to do here.”
His snarl was feral, almost demon like. “Go then. Get out.”
And they did.
No sound continued, save for the steady beeping of one of the monitors. He had his wings back - the wings he’d always wanted—and all he wanted was for her to wake up cancer free.
Twenty-Nine
Everything was fuzzy when she woke up again. “Gabe?” Gasping, it was harder to breathe than it before. “Breathing is hard.” She forced out the words and noticed the oxygen mask on her face.
She thought she would panic, would feel a rapid beating of her heart as the situation sunk in. She didn’t. Not because Gabe was there, but it probably helped.
“Shh,” he kissed her forehead. “That’s the best I can do right now. Just until your lungs clear up.” He whispered the words, his green eyes devoid of the beautiful gold stripes for the first time. “I need to show you something.” His voice cracked as he stood up, but he didn’t stop holding her hand.
The room was blurry, and she squeezed her eyes shut. Someone must have tied weights to her eyelashes too because it was so tough to open them again.
He had something to show her, she needed to open them. Gasping, she strained the muscles in her face and opened them. When she managed to, she found herself beholding at the single most magnificent thing.
Gabe had his wings - his glimmering, gold battle wings. They looked sharp, almost knifelike even with her distorted vision.
“I’m so glad you listened.” The mask made her voice sound strange, foreign.
“Do not flatter yourself.” He looked like he might have winked. “My father did this. I am going to use them to help get us through this.”
She wanted to tell him that it was time to stop fighting, but even thinking the words was a slow process.
His thumb gingerly stroked circles over her palm, his eyes never leaving hers. “I’ll be right here.” Gabe’s words were hardly louder than a whisper. “I promise you that. I’ll be right here.”
She wanted to tell him thank you. The words stuck in her throat as a shiver of pain raced through her. Cassandra hardly felt the gentle motion of his fingers of her hand. An icy chill wrapped around her like ivy around a ladder. There was nothing left.
Gabe’s blond hair was blurry, his face impossible to make out. The beeping of the surrounding machines told her everything she needed to know - everything she didn’t want to know.
“Cass,” Gabe shouted her name as he squeezed the hand he held. “Cass.”
It took everything she had in her to nod her head at him. He would be there. Precisely where he’d been since the moment they met. Pain streaked a vicious track through her body as she forced herself to speak.
“I love you, Gabe.”
He grasped her hand tighter, hurtfully almost. “I love you, Cassandra Marks. I’m so sorry.”
Her eyes fluttered closed as he spoke. The beeping of the machine grew as faint as the strength of her breathing failed. Gabe’s touch became nothing more than a phantom memory as she took one final breath.
Epilogue
“Are you happy?” Gabe smiled so wide his face looked like it would break.
“Incredibly.” Looking out over the world, she had never dreamed it could look so . . . fantastical. She kissed him, sighing at the perfect way they fit together.
“You’re not mad then?” Gabriel lifted a brow, his gleaming wings seeming to flutter with anxiety.
“You gave me a second chance.” Chuckling she shook her head. “No, you gave me a far better life. A life that will not be wasted.” The wind rustled through the feathers of her pearl-white wings sending a slight tickle through her. “Thank you.”
“You will start your training in a week. I feel both you and my son could use some time to acclimate to your new position, Guardian Cassandra.”
The words sounded divine.
Her entire human life had been spent in hopes of protecting and creating better, more, for the kids she worked with.
“And to think, all I had to do was die.”
Gabe slipped his hand into hers. “I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“We’re not going to say that phrase ever again. As far as I’m concerned, you did not die. I did not hold you in my arms for a solid three minutes and know your soul was gone because I saw it leave.”
“How would you have us speak about it?”
“You simply went to sleep to cast off your human bonds.” He cleared his throat. “That is the only way I can bear to think of the situation. I will henceforth not remember that for three minutes, I did not have you in my life.”
Wrapping her hand in the neck of his shirt she tugged his head down and slanted her lips against his. Everything was different. When they kissed, she could sense his soul now. Her body buzzed with desire. His arms slipped around her body, and she felt safe. Protected. Loved.
“Thank you.”
“For failing you?”
“For loving me. It got me here.” She looped her arms around his neck. “It got me angel wings.”
“You did that, Cassandra Marks. Your kindness and love. I was merely the instrument that passed along the message.”
“Why did you never tell me certain humans could become angels?”
“If I’m honest? I didn’t know. Do not forget, you were my first charge. I wasn’t fully aware of the possibility. I might have changed my argument if I’d known. But your life, your human life, would have come first.”
They didn’t move or speak, merely stood there with her arms around his neck and his around her waist. The world was literally below them, and in a week, she would learn who she would be tasked with keeping safe. Nothing made much sense, even Gabriel’s reasoning for saving her soul to grant her angel wings—all because of her selflessness in the wake of death.
“Will you be my mentor?”
“Carlyle.” He frowned. “Apparently since I’m no longer a Guardian Angel, I don’t fit the bill.”
“Could you teach me to fight then? You never know when I might need to protect you.”
His laughter was boisterous and rang out across the clouds. “I can do that.”
Again, a blissful silence surrounded them, all that mattered was the way they looked into one another’s eyes. Everything from the past day swirled in her head. She remembered taking her last breath, but it seemed so long ago, like a thread unweaving from a blanket she could barely grab.
She had died and had woken up of a sort in a room with Archangels and Gabe. Very little of the meeting stood out, only the part where they told her she had wings, and with a thought, they had unfurled.
“What are you thinking about?” Gabe dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose.
“How I never imagined this is what would, or could, come after cancer. About the past twenty-four hours and how sleeping right after I received my wings was the best sleep I’ve had in almost six months.” She grinned at him. “What are you thinking about?”
“Angels, we don’t get married.”
“Okay . . .”
“Marry me anyway.”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” He smiled, lifting her up into the arm. “Really?”
“Really. Right now if we could.”
“No. I want a ceremony for you. We’ll do this the human way, right after your funeral—should you wish to attend.”
Another question. Another answer without hesitation. “I don’t. That part of me is gone. I do not want to be reminded. I want to look to the future, to the people I will help in a much grander fashion.”
“About that?” Carlyle appeared just behind Gabe.
“You and my father are serious asses about that.”
“Oh please, you do it too.” Carlyle smiled cordially at her, his eyes swirling with silver much the same way Gabe’s swirled with gold. “As I was saying, about guarding a human of your own. Would you like to know who?” He held out an envelope.
Cautiously, she took it. “Is this breaking the rules? Gabriel said I would find out next week.”
Both men laughed.
“My father is often disobeyed. Trust me, this is nothing.”
“Very well, then.” The flap was not sealed, and she pulled out a pearlized white card. “Diana Calvert.” Her eyes shot open. “But how?”
“When a Guarded—that was what you were—dies, we keep an eye on those closest to them for a few days. She was still listed as your emergency contact, and within seven hours of learning of your passing, decided she was going to pick up your work, even knowing she’d need help with the algorithm portion.”
“Oh my god.”
“And since that same work made you eligible for a Guardian Angel,” Carlyle began.
“It means she is too.” Gabe finished with a smirk on his lips. “I may have pulled a few strings this morning to convince Father to assign you to something that so closely represented your human life.”
“Thank you. Both of you.” Tears welled up in her eyes, but for the first time in months, they were from happiness. She looked at Gabe. “Ask me again.”
“Ask you what?”
“Ask me if I’m happy with my life as it is right this moment.”
“Well, are you?”
“Absolutely.”
