by Tracy Ellen
‘Ah, the old “command time to rewind and then erase” trick,’ the mean mommy voice mocked.
I bit my lip to hold back my smile and unobtrusively panned the reactions in the room.
Jack Banner was sitting next to my grandmother at the kitchen island. He had paused with a beer bottle to his mouth upon hearing Luke’s blunt statement. There was a flicker of concern in his deep-set cop eyes that skated over me before he finished the swallow of beer. NanaBel put a hand on Jack’s forearm, as if she sensed he needed restraint. She smiled sympathetically our way. I could sense her surprise. With a little shrug, I smiled wanly in return.
Luke’s parents shared a quick, confused glance of disappointment, as did Mac and Diego who were sitting around the kitchen table with them. I felt terrible to disappoint Luke’s parents when it should be a day of family celebration, especially with no real explanation.
Anna and Stella were more vocal. At their loud shouts of dismay, Luke unashamedly showed his dimple and used his killer grin again to momentarily stun their outcries to merely curious whimpers.
Their reaction to Luke was convenient for the moment, but I was ashamed at the ease with which he gained their compliance. It was hard to watch, and harder to admit, but my best friend and niece were peniswhipped by my boyfriend’s intense mojo. I had warned them repeatedly about Mr. Tricky, but those verbal warnings were not getting the job done. I was going to have to find another way to reach those two. They needed to see the danger with their own eyes before it was too late.
‘What about a video recording of Luke for them to study his play action, as if he was on an opposing sports team?’ the detective voice suggested.
I snapped my fingers. ‘That’s it! What a fantastic idea!’
Luke glanced at my fingers and raised a brow, but I quickly diverted his attention towards Crookie. Curious hazel eyes studied us quizzically through rimless glasses while he waited politely for a chance to speak.
Seeing he had our attention, Crookie shyly waved a little greeting at me, but cleared his throat nervously and directed his comments to Luke. “Um, I only just arrived and was unaware you had proposed to Anabel, but I cannot do as you ask. It will be impossible for me to forget, Luke,” Crookie frowned doubtfully, “and I would imagine Anabel can’t, either. Women tend to think proposals are a big deal.” He shrugged apologetically. “May I suggest that in the future, you not bring up a subject you wish people to forget?”
Next to me, Luke shook his head and laughed softly. He crossed his arms, leaning a shoulder against the door jam, as if to get comfortable.
Jack had choked on his beer. My brother smartly slapped the chief on the back while he turned to eye Crookie by the back door. John-Joe Smith, who lounged with an arm casually slung around a radiant Pammie, turned his shaved head to silently eye Crookie, too. Reg and John-Joe’s masculine squints of disdain were so identical; I had a hard time not bursting into laughter.
Pam didn’t bother to cover her mirth. She jumped up from the sofa. In a flurry of fists that would do a prizefighter proud--bam, bam, bam--Pam jabbed Crookie three times in the stomach.
She bounced around him and exclaimed, “Good God, I love it, Crookie! You’re still the geek-meister of Northfield like when we were in school!”
Unprepared for Pam’s attack, Crookie doubled over with a pained gasp. “Uh, Pam, hello. I live in Edina now.” Crooks held his stomach, staring at the tiny woman in bemusement as he hoarsely added, “I had forgotten how hard you punch.”
Tre J inserted her tall frame between them and warned the giggling Pam to back off while she rubbed her date’s shoulder consolingly.
Everyone was suddenly speaking and gesturing at once, asking questions or making comments, except John-Joe Smith. That snake had his arms crossed behind his head and his face wore a tolerant smirk while he watched his new love beat up on Crooks. Catching my eye, his smirking expression morphed into a moue of sad eyes and downturned lips at our news of no engagement.
I didn’t acknowledge his phony face of sadness, but stuck my nose loftily in the air and looked pointedly away while I signed the symbol for “asshole”.
Amidst the uproar, I heard John’s yip of laughter.
Luke and I briefly looked at one another. I flared my eyes without moving any other facial muscles and saw the return amused glint in his before he shuttered his expression.
Luke was enjoying all the chaos. It wasn’t the first time I’d noticed he seemed to relish the noise of our large family get togethers. Most men curled up into a ball or ran in terror from drama, but Luke was not your typical man. I guess his ancestor Genghis wouldn’t have become the mighty Khan if he ran off in the face of a little brouhaha, either.
GKII leaned casually for a few moments more before he clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention. He pointed a warning finger towards the tiny boxer still dancing around the protective Tre, feinting jabs and taunting Crookie with school reminisces.
The finger moved over to Machine Gun Anna, who was blurting out questions at mach speed to a harried Reg, Mac, Diego, and the senior Drakes.
The finger moved next to Stella, who kept repeating, “I don’t get it. Why aren’t those guys getting married? Can somebody tell me what’s going on?” over and over to NanaBel, Jack, my sister Kenna, and anybody else who would listen.
Luke waved his magic finger over the rest of the group to quiet down the entire room. It was a gentle, family-friendly motion compared to his usual slashing karate chop move to demand immediate silence, but it still worked beautifully. Every person had shut up and was looking at Luke.
Lowering my eyes to hide any signs of the spike of lust that coursed through my blood for the alpha man that I wasn’t marrying, I wondered how long it would take me to get enough of Luke’s extreme mojo. I had two orgasms in the last twenty minutes--a major 8.2 and a mini 4.3 on the seismic intensity scale.
‘Would I ever be satiated? Would I ever get my next turn?’ I frowned. ‘Was I dickwhipped, too?’
Into the complete absence of sound, Luke said softly, “I may want a do-over sometime, so this proposal didn’t happen.” He grinned wryly. “Please take pity on a guy, and don’t ask Anabel any questions to make it harder on me, okay?”
I glanced up quickly in time to observe Tre J drag her eyes off Crookie to exchange a pointed look with Jazy. My bodyguard then visually checked me over for any physical or mental wounds she may need to avenge.
Jaz crossed her arms and smirked in Luke’s direction with her usual “Nobody tells me what to do” curl to her lips.
Luke and I weren’t breaking up, but he did come off smooth and in control. Despite his friendly tone, the warning not to bug me about the engagement not happening had been broadcast loud and clear to everyone present.
While I got insanely turned on by Luke’s self-secure arrogance, I’ve listened to Tre and Jazy discuss men for years. Those two didn’t trust smooth dudes any farther than they could toss them, albeit for different reasons. Anytime a man meekly took the mea culpa high road for a break up, they believed the man had slickly maneuvered the woman into believing it was her idea to dump them, so the man could escape the relationship and move on easily with little or no fallout.
Jazy had summed it up nicely when she declared, “Most women turn into crazy bitches when crossed, so men with brains don’t cross them--they invade them.”
I was pretty sure she meant evade them, but you get the gist.
I didn’t understand why they thought Luke proposed to me one minute and then somehow convinced me not to accept his offer the next, but those two girls were always on the lookout for suspiciously mock-meek behavior in men.
Diego shook his head at Luke, probably because I was damaged goods until Luke made me an honest woman. Judging by the slight sneer on his handsome face, he thought less of Luke for not nailing me to the cross of holy matrimony in a manner befitting a fellow Conquistador. A much younger man, Diego had overcome tougher obstacles and still managed t
o nail Mac down in one month. My noble brother-in-law opened his mouth to defend my honor, but Mac stayed him by whispering urgently into his ear. Whatever Mac said turned Diego’s fierce frown into a surprised smile that continued to widen as she spoke. I’d have to ask my oldest sister later, but then remembered I couldn’t talk about the proposal that didn’t happen, either.
NanaBel’s white head bobbed as she agreed to something Jack Banner grunted under his breath, although her bright blue eyes stayed glued on Luke and me. From past experience, I knew it was unnerving to be stared at so fixedly by my grandmother when I was up to shenanigans, but Luke didn’t seem bothered.
He walked over and took NanaBel’s hands in his, leaning down with a smile to give her cheek a kiss. “Hey, at least my day wasn’t a total bust. I finally got to meet Anabel’s NanaBel.”
“Suck up,” Jack Banner snorted and said, “Remember what I said about hoops, Drake, and you’ll be fine.”
NanaBel patted Luke’s cheek as she smiled over at his parents. “Your son is such a lovely man.” Damaris and Paul beamed as she turned back and dimpled up at Luke. “Darling boy, if you’ll allow an old woman to give you a piece of advice?”
Luke looked around with raised brows. “Of course, but where is she?”
My grandmother giggled and Luke’s mouth crooked up on one side at the girlish sound.
She then motioned to Jack. “If you do the exact opposite of everything Jack Banner suggests where women are concerned, you’ll come out much farther ahead.”
Jazy clapped and called out, “Hear, hear!” as Mac, Kenna, and Stella whistled and stomped their feet, all of them having been on the receiving end of Jack’s idea of help at one time or another in their lives.
Jack’s white-blonde Norwegian heritage betrayed him when his face systematically flooded red from his forehead down to his chin as he blustered out his protests.
Luke bowed his head briefly in deference to my grandmother and he braced Jack’s shoulder. “You heard the woman, Chief. I’m sorry, but after today’s refusal, no more play calling.”
Jack snorted his disgust. “And to think I put in a good word for you.”
NanaBel raised her hands and laughed. “There you go!”
I chuckled, too, but was disconcerted everyone was laughing and joking so easily, even Luke’s parents had recovered from their disappointment rather quickly.
When Luke’s words “do-over” sank in, Anna’s face had split into a brilliant smile. It almost topped Reggie’s comical look of intense relief that his touchy bride-to-be had calmed down without a nuclear meltdown.
“Okay, Luke!” Anna agreed eagerly, opening her eyes innocently wide. “I never heard any proposal.” She turned to Reg, frowning in challenge when he didn’t speak fast enough. “Did you?”
Reggie held up his hands in defense. “Hey, I’m just a man. We never hear anything, anywhere, anytime, so why would this be any different?”
All the men hooted and agreed, as Luke smiled and bumped fists with Reg in manly solidarity.
Anna scoffed, but grabbed Reggie’s cheeks to plant a kiss on his lips with a loud smack. “You’re lucky you’re so pretty, Axelrod.”
Sometimes slower to get nuances, Stella looked at Anna in irritated confusion. She was about to speak but the young guy beside her, the little bum who couldn’t keep his chubby in his pants, Erik George Jasnik, spoke in a low voice.
Whatever he said caused Stella’s brow to clear. “Oh…I see! Right, right.” She dimpled up at Erik George and then up at Luke. “Don’t worry, I never heard a thing, either, Luke.”
He smiled and flicked her cheek. “Good girl, Stell.”
Luke glanced over at me with a raised brow. Apparently, he felt the question of our engagement was satisfactorily settled with our family and friends.
I shook my head, not sure what had just happened, but I’d counted a single and several pairs of happy dimples flashing around the room, so I took his cue. I urged everyone to gather up their belongings to leave for Sunday dinner at my apartment.
Jazy stopped next to me on her way out. “I heard about the shit going down at that awards banquet last night with Pam’s husband. Sorry I missed it.” She grinned briefly, but then serious dark blue eyes appraised me swiftly. “You let me know if Drake has hurt you and I’ll…” She spied Damaris heading our way, so didn’t finish her threat, but said, “Good job coming to your senses, Sis.” She motioned with her chin back in the direction of Mac, Stella, and Anna and grimaced. “I was worried you crossed to the dark side.”
I smiled fondly after my younger sister. Jazy was ruthlessly vicious and inventive, so I was disappointed she hadn’t shared her revenge plan that she’d implement if Luke had crossed me.
Publically known and respected for being a talented horse-whisperer, Jazy has a lesser known private talent, although it’s equally respected by the many women that seek her help.
Rather like a modern witch doctor, Jazy was the go-to person for women in need after being brutalized by love.
Jazy called what she did the Lost and Found. Smiling grimly, she explained that meant she assisted broken-hearted women to find where they’d lost their missing self-respect. If she agreed to help a woman, Jazy didn’t concoct love potions to bring their man back. Instead, my sister brewed up solid revenge plans that put the dickheads into what she considered their rightful places.
If men only knew what Jaz did, I daresay a few dozen of them in the surrounding counties would be more apt to call her a bitch doctor. Of course, if they dared, Jaz would snap her fingers in their faces; if not outright kick their butts.
I was sure the only reason I got to kick Larissa’s ex-husband’s butt before Jazy did was because he came straight from jail to my bookstore with no detours.
Damaris took me aside and cupped my shoulders. Beautiful silver hair was smoothly in place and her composure was flawless, but her midnight eyes were still a little blurry from the bridal shower punch she’d imbibed all afternoon.
I stood up straight and tried not to smile at the mother of our darling boy.
“It seems our time together is once again cut short.” Those eyes searched my face with the same keen intelligence she’d abundantly passed down to her son. Whatever Damaris found written there made her nod and kiss my cheek. She proclaimed softly near my ear, “I know you won’t let Luke down.”
My heart swelled at her words, but I was relieved Luke’s mom didn’t wait for a response. She turned to slip her arms into the stylish black leather coat her son was holding out. Just as well, since I couldn’t give Damaris any reassurances. Luke wanted everybody to walk out of here believing I had turned down his offer of marriage.
Papa Paul stepped in to envelope me in a bear hug, rocking me from side to side.
He growled in my ear, “I’m just an old man who doesn’t know what’s going on from a hole in the ground, but have faith, Anabel. My son will not let you down.”
Luke’s father was a huge hugger and I allowed myself to be rocked longer than I normally would have by a man.
My own father died when I was so young that I barely remembered him. There have been a couple of men that have predominated as father figures in my life as I grew up, but neither Jack Banner nor my banker, Charles Barkley were big on hugging. I’d gotten used to being hugged by Luke, but it was still strange to be held platonically by a man and comforted. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with my breasts. Anytime I was around his son, my nipples were on point and I didn’t think rubbing them against Papa Paul was the best idea. Instead, I held myself as if I had a humpback to be certain I wasn’t inappropriate.
Shortly after that, instead of privately celebrating our engagement later with love play and hot sex, I waved goodbye forlornly to my boyfriend. He had packed up his darling parents and left town to drive them back to Chicago via Kenosha, Wisconsin. Due to the Drake family’s close involvement with Svettie, the police wanted to question them all.
Luke needed to meet with h
is business partners, too. Svettie had worked for DDL & Associates for over a year. Now that her entire life was suspect, they wanted to take the offense, and be sure she hadn’t had an ulterior motive for working at their company.
Svettie had insinuated herself into Luke’s life--his family, his work, and his studio condo. I thought it was pretty damn clear what the seal barker’s ulterior motives were.
I was left to work alone on my own offense.
Chapter IV
“White Wedding” by Billy Idol
The Past Week, 12/10-12/15
Between being super busy with all of that, and getting his Chicago condo cleaned out for Pam’s imminent takeover, Luke had been gone since last Sunday.
The past week had been crazy for me, too. NanaBel had been gone traveling for months. In order for everybody to see her on this brief visit in Northfield, most of my family and her friends had congregated all week long at the bookstore by day, and my apartment by night. If we weren’t at the store or my house, we were all doing some planned event that I couldn’t escape from participating in. Not that we weren’t having fun, but I wasn’t used to that amount of continuous togetherness. The nonstop socializing made me progressively crazier as the week continued.
Do I sound like a big baby for complaining when there were starving children in Africa?
I totally agree; anybody knowing what I’ve endured all week would still have some compassion.
Monday hadn’t been too terrible. It was a day long party at the bookstore as my grandmother’s friends traipsed in and out. They brought Christmas treats and gifts. They stopped in for “just one cup” and stayed for hours. I gave up trying to hide in my office. A closed door was no barrier to men and women that have known me since I wore diapers. Not when they were convinced I needed their gentle comments of support that I’d screwed up my only recent chance at a wedding.
Monday night was a joint wedding shower thrown by a group of my grandmother’s best friends for Stella and Anna with a kitchen-theme, attendance mandatory. I received many silent looks of pity and had my hand pressed repeatedly in sympathy--I guess for my obvious sadness I wasn’t a bride-to-be, too.
