by Tracy Ellen
Chapter X
“Hard to Handle” by The Black Crowes
Sunday, 12/16
12:06 AM
I stood there marching in place while stormy thoughts began swirling in my head, barely cognizant of the voices and laughter of people all around me.
Luke had a few days to work out his feelings and come to a decision, so rationally I got why he could stand there and look me in the eye while dispassionately telling me that he was moving on and that I should, too. Now that the numbness was wearing off, that didn’t stop me from wanting to slap the shit out of him for being so logical, or throw myself in his arms, and somehow by sheer will, force him to love me more.
There was no right or wrong in the choice to have children, it was a personal decision. I couldn’t hate Luke for being true to his feelings, any more than I would pretend about mine. We hadn’t filled out a compatibility questionnaire, or ever intended to fall hard for each other, but it was no lie when I told him how much I hated that I loved everything about him.
At that moment, my regret that I had a soul was so overwhelming, I wanted to vomit. If only it could be so easy to purge Luke Drake from my system. I feared he would always be a part of me.
Pam had thrown concerned glances my way, especially at my marching boots, but left with Luke and the others. I couldn’t fault her for following John, since they were currently staying at Luke’s farm until she moved to Chicago next week.
My world had crashed and burned, but as I became more aware of my surroundings, Jaz, James, and now Mia were still chatting over a drink in a small circle of people near the bar.
Jazy looked over at me, and I saw the anxiety on her face before she hid it with her usual smirky grin.
Motioning for her to give me another minute, I realized there was one more important thing to do for my own closure with Luke Drake.
Marching forward, and then running as fast as I could, I dodged to and fro around the partygoers. Excusing myself, the anxiety grew to catch Luke before he left the house, if I hadn’t already missed him. It was like one of those bad dreams where you ran and ran through the fog, but never reached your destination.
Finally nearing the glass entry area again, I let out a breath and smiled in relief. The copper doors were wide open and I saw Daniel’s dark head towering above their group outside on the driveway.
I ran the last few yards and came out onto the wide steps as two SUVs pulled up and the valets jumped out. My eyes darted over the figures until they landed on Luke standing in the shadows under the portico. I opened my mouth to call out to him when I caught a glimpse of bright yellow again.
Speechless with horror, I watched my ex-cousin, Candy MacKenzie approach Luke. The sharp rat-a-tat of stiletto heels on the stone became louder and louder until their sound magnified to drown out any other noise in my head.
My first thought was she was going to assassinate Luke with her knife, but what she did was tenfold worse. She put her arm through Luke’s, snuggled against him, and smiled into his face. It was not possible to hear over the roaring in my ears, but I discovered I could read lips because her words were plain as day.
“Ready when you are.”
“Oh, I’m ready.” Luke’s smile swept over her in return. It was the satyr smile, and it lingered forever on her enormous breasts exposed by the deep V of the yellow sweater.
Jazy spoke up from next to me. “So this is where you ran off to.” She took in the view outside. “Well, fuck me. You guys broke up?”
“Oh yes.”
“Are we going to need a revenge plan?”
“Oh yes.”
“One for our cousin, too?”
‘If she only knew.’
“Oh no, Luke’s single and moved on. Fair game.”
Jaz snorted, but didn’t say another word as we watched from inside the doorway. The demon woman from hell was simpering up to Luke, as Pam and John approached from the other side of the second SUV.
Jazy’s cousin was an eye-popping vision in the skintight, bright yellow sweater, a pair of red-striped leggings, and zebra print half-boots with six-inch heels. She was the Wicked Witch of the East on acid.
Jazy whistled softly. “Will you look at the cleavage on our bitch cousin? It’s like she has a humongo ass on her chest.”
I gurgled with laughter, despite the acid rage bubbling inside. Compared to the amount of tanned mahogany skin revealed by the neckline of her yellow sweater, my spray-tanned little plumpsters resembled a ten-year old showing off swollen mosquito bites. There was no doubt in my mind Luke Drake was a breast man, and those monstrosities must be his version of moving on to bigger things.
The reality of my life was now a permanent nightmare. Instead of getting to wake up from the scariness, I got brief moments of comic relief to prevent my pounding heart from exploding into a million, crumbling little pieces before the horror show rolled on.
I speculated where Kenna could be hiding, but then Pam spotted Candy in Luke arms and halted abruptly. Hands on her cheeks, she cried out with utter revulsion, “Good God, Luke!”
John Smith visibly paled and you didn’t have to be a lip reading expert to decipher his “Oh shit!”
“Oh shit is right!” Jazy’s laugh was pure evil, as she gripped my arm in sudden comprehension of Pam’s distress. Pammie was looking at the backside of the woman who had screwed John-Joe three weeks ago and was now hanging all over her good friend’s man.
Luke saw Pam coming, but the un-cousin was oblivious. She was too busy straddling Luke’s thigh and leaning against him.
Like an entomologist observing an insect in its natural habitat, I couldn’t take my eyes off the praying mantis clinging to Luke’s limb. I wouldn’t put it past her to climb Luke’s thigh to get at his brains. Once cannibalized and unable to think, the ganglion between his legs would take over. I’ve heard the sex between a praying mantis and her brain-dead mate could be insanely uninhibited.
‘Ha! His brain is already dead,’ the mean mommy voice stated with loathing.
John got my attention. He started back peddling quickly, but Pam wasn’t budging. She threw off his arm and ran up to Luke, gesturing wildly. Pam seemed to be shouting something on the order of, “Get off him, you big-titted slut!”
Jazy voice was gleeful. “Cat fight! My money’s on Cousin Candy with those heels, plus she carries that switchblade.” Jazy sneered, “It may be pink, but the fucker’s razor sharp.”
Pam grabbed a handful of the un-cousin’s hair and gave a solid yank.
Un-cousin screamed and I smiled tightly. “Deal.”
Two swift jabs to the mammaries later, John-Joe had reached Pammie. Grabbing her around the waist, he flipped her around, swung her up over his shoulder, and ran in the other direction. Pam shook her fists and rained threats down on the couple. John-Joe threw open the back door to the lead SUV and unceremoniously tossed his new love inside. I absently admired how swiftly he was behind the wheel and tearing off down the drive. Pam leaned out the side window and screamed more obscenities. In the still winter night, her voice lingered on the cold air long after they were out of sight.
The other four of Luke’s friends stared after the receding SUV, clearly gobsmacked at Pam’s unexpected eruption into a violent Sugar Ray Leonard.
Jazy groaned in disappointment. “Well, that was no fun.” She pointed to her cousin, who was cradling her punched breasts and moaning against Luke. “Do you mind?”
I graciously waved my permission and stepped back into the shadows. Luke and his new mate could see me if they squinted, but not the remaining Chicago Fab Four.
Jazy went out onto the top stair. She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled sharply. “Hey, Candy! Over here!”
The milling valets and the six people on the verge of entering the second SUV stopped to look in her direction. Luke’s face didn’t betray any expression, but he had to feel my cold glare.
‘And to think I ran over here wanting to assure the big prick that I cou
ld never hate him for being true to his nature.’
‘No good deed goes unpunished,’ the mean mommy voice snarked, but in supportive sympathy for a change.
The ex-cousin saw Jazy, and her pained expression changed to pained and apprehensive. “What do you want?”
Jazy’s cupped hands hovered above her breasts in bouncing exaggeration while she yelled, “Nice buttocks!”
The valets and Priscilla snickered while the praying mantis frowned in puzzlement before her face cleared and then burned red in anger. Luke’s hands squeezed her waist and he whispered in her ear. Whatever he said made his mate smile. After a final smirk towards the stairs, she ducked her triangular head into the SUV. Everyone else hurriedly followed suit, Dan behind the wheel. The last one in, Luke hesitated with a foot on the running board and stared up at the copper doors.
Jazy jeered loudly, “Yeah, look tough all you want,” she double-tapped her upper chest with flat hands, “but your ass is mine now, fuckface, because it won’t be long before your dick falls off!”
She shot him the secret curse sign for men on her special hit list.
Luke ignored my frightening little sister.
In case my ex-boyfriend was in any doubt of my thoughts, I gave him the Viggo-V, the two-finger double salute, and then I mouthed, enunciating carefully, “I. Hate. Your. Guts.”
I ended by signing double flying assholes while Jazy joined in again with more intricate curse symbols.
It was safe to say, I got my closure with Luke Drake that time.
Chapter XI
“Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd
Sunday, 12/16
2:30 AM
Jazy and Mia were good sports. They kept up with me dancing nonstop for the next two hours. I didn’t want to think or feel about Luke Drake. I drank more of the delicious champagne and pretended I was Shakira with nonchildbearing hips that didn’t lie. I didn’t stop moving on. I danced in a group with the girls, and also with man after man, song after song.
Mia, completely oblivious of anything unpleasant that had transpired outside with Luke or inside now while we danced, was having a great time.
She had confided she wasn’t used to dancing except at family weddings with male relatives or close friends, but the younger girl threw her heart and soul into it like I surmised she did everything in life. We taught Mia all sorts of moves and she caught on fast. Exuberance was as charming in its own way as expertise, and she didn’t lack for partners willing to coach the little beauty with the long curling black hair and exotic cheekbones.
Jazy and I warned off the more predatory males a girl always had to deal with in a big crowd, especially a luscious young one such as Mia. The girl was an odd blend of inexperience and hard-nosed practicality. She had been stalked by a Faribault policeman, so maybe she could have handled a few overzealous, trashed men with grabby hands that wouldn’t take no for an answer without threatening to geld them, but I figured a mentor should be good for something. I wanted Mia to remember her first wild dance party for the joyful release of letting go to the music, not kneeing a man’s privates. Tonight, I was Johnny-on-the-spot for that job. There would be plenty of other occasions to show Mia how to deal with the overly aggressive asswipes of the world.
Pam was going to be bummed that she missed the naked dancing. It was one dude that stripped off his clothes and hopped around for a while like a human pogo stick, hands cupped over his dangly bits. I thought he was no big deal, but my protégé had followed his mad bopping around the room and vehemently disagreed. When I pointed out that was not my idea of a dancing naked man, Mia breathlessly told me that his equipment was so huge, she was sure all the bouncing around was painful. I didn’t get why he bothered to remove his clothes in the first place then, but I often didn’t understand the appeal of the latest, hot crazes.
When Jazy and I had come back from our joint Axelrod cursing of Luke Drake, my new friend, James Byrd was still in the hallway. He was in the middle of a lively conversation with several people. He looked up for a second and met my eyes, but rather than interrupt, I collected Mia, pointed to the dance room, and waved goodbye.
James had disappeared for the rest of the evening after that. I felt I saw him out of my peripheral vision dancing with other women or hanging on the edge of the crowd, but like a ghost, he was never there when I looked.
The three of us finally took a break from dancing. Jazy had led us to the formal dining room where a breakfast buffet was set up. Amid other assorted delights, Chefs carved prime rib and juicy ham, and made Belgian waffles, pancakes, or crepes to order.
Insatiably hungry, I filled two large plates--a savory and a sweet.
Relaxing in the privacy of a small sitting area off the dining room, I was numb over Luke. I refused to allow any thoughts of him inside my head. My plan was to stay numb for as long as my strong will held up. I couldn’t begin to think what it meant that he was with my ex-cousin, let alone feel what it meant. I was grateful for my self-discipline in a way I have never needed to appreciate that stubborn, tenacious, hard-earned trait before in my adult life.
My stomach had understood there was two kinds of miserably numb before my brain did. The numb misery of the unknown this past week had caused insomnia, depression, and lassitude. The numb misery of certainty now caused a manic need to be active, not think, and a huge appetite to devour everything edible in sight. I wondered if I could eat my way into a food coma that lasted days, not the regular carb coma requiring only a short, five-hour nap.
We had been silent for a while as we ate. I drank more champagne to help balance the numbness at the perfect pitch of care-for-nothing tipsiness.
Without looking up from her plate, Jazy swirled a bite of waffle in blueberry syrup and asked the first question since she verified we had broken up out on the front stairs. “Was it the kid thing?”
“Yes.” I shoved the last bite of succulent ham in my mouth.
Mia picked at her blackened salmon, as she looked back and forth between us, a slight frown marring the smooth perfection of her forehead.
Jazy raised a brow and I sighed heavily, but nodded as I pushed my plate away.
I was torn. I was pleased that Jazy liked Mia enough to want to clue her in, but I would never be pleased to discuss my personal business. Not that what I wanted mattered.
I could already feel the vibrations of the jungle drums beating the news out that Anabel Axelrod had been dumped by Luke Drake because she didn’t want to have his children and then he went right out and screwed the cousin with the ginormous boobs.
I rested the heavy silver fork crossways on my empty plate before I was tempted to cram it through my eye.
Jazy said to Mia, “Luke and Bel have broken up.”
Mia nodded. “Yes, I know they decided not to marry yet…”
Jazy shook her head. “No, they’ve broken up completely. Luke wants kids and Bel doesn’t.”
My protégé’s voice was filled with surprise when her eyes widened at me. “You don’t want kids?” Her voice rose incredulously, “Luke’s kids?”
I was too numb to reply with a snarky comment to what I hoped were rhetorical questions uttered in shock. Still, I shook my head no.
Jazy wasn’t too numb. “What? Did you think I was making it up for shits and giggles?”
Mia’s stunning brown eyes filled up with tears and her full lower lip trembled, but she held up a hand and flashed a warning look when Jazy open her mouth to speak again.
“I am allowed to have my feelings! This news makes me very, very sad.” She pounded her chest twice in the identical motion my sister had used towards Luke outside. “I am a romantic, silly young woman, I know, but Luke and your sister are…were…the air about them was magic. Oh, never mind, I cannot explain and you would not understand!” She cried, choking up and glaring at Jazy. “One day, I will be as tough as you, Jasmyn Axelrod, but not today,” she angrily dabbed at her eye with her palm, “not about this.”
In my numbn
ess, I wasn’t going to play referee between my sister and my protégé, either. If Mia had the big hairy vagina to take on the big dogs, then she could get chewed up or become part of the pack.
My sister surprised me a little by not taking offense. “Oh, get over yourself, drama queen. Bel doesn’t need any more crying crap, is all.” Jazy shook her head and laughed as she said to me, “Now I see why you are doing this protégé gig. She’s known you, what, two weeks?”
Mia lifted her chin, but her grin was saucy. “Ten days, but we slept together on the second date.”
It looked like Mia Besosa was officially part of the Axelrod pack, hide intact. I looked at her full red lips and white teeth a little closer.
‘Well, holy unfairness!’ It also looked like Mia had a bit of an overbite, too.
“Throwback Sunday,” Jazy called out and jumped up to start mimicking Phil Collins singing, “I can feel it in the air tonight, oh Lord, oh Lord.”
Mia laughed and threw her balled napkin in protest at Jazy’s ribbing while I asked, “Hey, Jazy, do you think Mia has an overbite?”
“What!” Mia screeched, “I wore braces for two years. I have a perfect bite!”
We were all laughing and urging Mia to show us her teeth when Max Byrd walked into the room and did a surprised double-take to see us all.
“Why, hello Jazy,” he said, including Mia and me in his sunny smile.
“Hi there, Max.”Jazy stopped laughing to causally introduce us. “This is my sister, Anabel and our second cousin by marriage, Mia Besosa. This is James’ cousin and my friend, Max Byrd.”
Mia glanced at me in shock at Jazy’s unexpected intro that we were second cousins. I had forgotten we were related now through Diego, too, but at the sight of Mia’s broad grin, she appeared thrilled by the reminder.
Max sat in the vacant chair and observed with acuity, “You ladies seem surprised to be related. Is Jazy lying like she always does?”
