When you enter into silence whether for half an hour or just for half a minute you always face the temptation to fill this time with "stuff," with words, with thoughts. You want to tell God all about your needs, and the needs of others. You may feel inspired to sing God's praises and express in creative ways just how much you love and adore him. However you are drawn to do it, you are tempted to fill the time you give to God with wordy distractions.
Unfortunately, this all-too-human urge to clutter up time spent in contemplative prayer with endless mental static is simply a way of trying to control the agenda. Thankfully, God is loving and forgiving; he waits patiently for you to let go of your need to control, whether that takes you five minutes, five hours, or fifty years. God waits for those times when you breathe through your distractions and simply let them go, allowing the silence to wash throughout your consciousness like a cleansing wave of crystal water.
Sometimes, even often, you may not discern God's presence during the practice of contemplation. Even when you give up trying to think your way into controlling your prayer time, you nevertheless may feel continually distracted by the state of your emotions, by spontaneous mental imagery, or by your endless capacity to daydream yourself out of focused silence. Despite all the ways in which you can fail to pay attention to the silence within you, however, grace still leads you into occasional moments of unexpected wonder. Sometimes, you may notice the Uncreated Presence within and beyond the silence that rests quietly beneath your mental clutter. Sometimes, your time spent in contemplation is rewarded with a quiet sense of resplendent joy and profound experiences of heavenly love. For most who walk the path of contemplation, these times are unpredictable, and less common than we hope and appropriately so. God comes to you to be in relationship, not just to make you feel good. So contemplation ultimately nurtures you at a level far deeper than emotions or conscious awareness.
THREE FORMS OF CONTEMPLATION
Contemplation is not only the single most essential element of mystical spirituality; it is also the Rosetta Stone that unlocks and clarifies the meaning of all other spiritual exercises. Through contemplation, you are brought to the threshold of the mysteries, and then ushered in deeper, and then deeper still. Contemplation takes you beyond the place where your mind can understand and your tongue can recount. And you never outgrow the invitation to go deeper.
In her book Practical Mysticism, Evelyn Underhill describes three forms of contemplation:
Discernment: Experiencing the immanent presence of God in and through nature (including in your own heart); sensing the artist by gazing upon the artwork.
Recognition: Knowing that God truly transcends all created things, thereby entering the "cloud of unknowing" where you seek God, not in any created object, but in the mysteries of your own being and consciousness.
Acknowledgment: Accepting the limits of even your own consciousness and spirit to reveal God to you, and so learning to wait in the silence and darkness, trusting that, even beyond all human experience, God will come to you without any effort on your part. This marks the transition from "active" to "infused" contemplation, and completes the transformation of contemplation from an exercise in seeking spiritual fulfillment to a fully God-centered act of loving response to the Mystery.
While Underhill's distinctions are certainly not the only way, or even perhaps the best way, of understanding the different ways in which we can experience contemplation, they do illustrate that contemplative prayer is not something that you master, that you work at until you get it right. It is a lifelong (and beyond) process of ever-unfolding possibilities that move you deeper and deeper into encounter and intimacy with God an encounter that occurs beyond the limits of your thoughts, ideas, mental images, and ability to "know" the ways of the Spirit.
To climb halfway up the mountain is not to reach the summit, even though the view from that mid-point of your journey may be spectacular. When you embrace a spirituality that calls you into silence and beckons you to let go of your discursive awareness, you will have no choice but to see your journey through to the end (that is to say, to the very heart of the mystery).
CENTERING PRAYER
While it is important to bear in mind that contemplation is far more than a mere method or technique for entering the silence, this does not mean that learning to contemplate (to enter the silence) in a methodical manner is unnecessary or ill-advised. Aspiring contemplatives may find considerable benefit in practicing a spiritual exercise designed to help foster inner peace and a disposition for silence. Centering prayer is perhaps the most popular such method commonly practiced by Western Christians today.
The Trappist monks who developed this technique were concerned that young Christians were turning to Eastern techniques likeYoga and Zen to find something that was already part of their own Christian heritage. So they began to hold retreats on the practice of contemplation, calling it centering prayer -a term inspired by Thomas Merton, who spoke of contemplation as prayer "centered entirely on the presence of God."
Centering prayer is a method of relaxing into the natural silence that persists beneath the thoughts and images of normal consciousness. To do this, you choose a single word -a prayer word and repeat it silently, slowly, and gently as a way of centering (and recentering) your mind on the silence whenever distracting thoughts or images arise. Once you are centered in the silence, you can set the prayer word aside, returning to it to help you find the silent center again when distractions re-emerge. After a set period of time (ideally twenty minutes), your prayer time culminates in a slow recitation of the Lord's Prayer or a similar chosen prayer perhaps the prayer of Julian of Norwich.
At first, centering prayer can be maddening to those immersed in our bottom-line-driven, goal-oriented, pragmatic and utilitarian society, because it feels as if you're doing nothing. Although the attention you give to the silence is profoundly relaxing and can lead to feelings of well-being, serenity, and even euphoria, it can also lead to feelings of restlessness, or to an emotional release that taps into hidden wells of anger, grief, or sadness. Because of its profound orientation toward silence and toward the places in your consciousness that take you beyond rational or cognitive thought, it can leave you feeling empty rather than spiritual, meaningless rather than God-infused.
Here it is important to balance your experience with the collective wisdom of the larger Christian community, particularly those who have embraced the contemplative life before. Christian mystics have had much to say about feeling discouraged in prayer, struggling with a sense of God's absence, dealing with feelings of meaninglessness, or questioning their commitment to God and to the spiritual life. The tradition encourages perseverance through those times when prayer and contemplation seem frustrating rather than edifying. This is because contemplation invites you to a place of mystery -a place beyond the safe zone where you can rationally interpret what is going on inside you. If you choose to enter this place of mystery, you open yourself up to the frontier of wonder and hiddenness that many mystics have explored before you. To enter that place requires surrendering all the objections of your practical, rational, used-to-beingin-control, egoic consciousness.
If you seek to embrace God even beyond the limits of your mind, you must first come to peace with the fact that your mind will scoff at this and see it as a silly, stupid, impractical endeavor. Only by clinging to the wisdom of those who have gone before can you gently turn aside the protests of your ego and persevere into the cloud of unknowing, where loving the hidden God is more important than holding on to your limited human mental images of him.
OBJECTIONS TO CONTEMPLATION
Because contemplation takes us to a place where the human ego is asked to surrender control to the leading of the Holy Spirit, it may not be surprising to consider that some people find this practice threatening. While many Christians today are unfamiliar with contemplation, a small minority have decided that contemplation is a bad thing, and are outspoken in their objection to it.
These objections usually take one of two forms:
Contemplation is not in the Bible.
Contemplation is too much like the spirituality of Eastern nonChristian religions like Hinduism or Zen.
While it is true that contemplation is not directly mentioned in the Bible, the Bible contains numerous passages that encourage a spirituality grounded in silence, solitude, and stillness. Nowhere does the Bible forbid seeking God in silence and stillness. If we assume that Christians can lawfully use only tools and practices that are mentioned in scripture, then modern medicine, computers, and automobiles must all be forbidden!
Even if they accept that there is no scriptural injunction against contemplative prayer, however, many Christians reject it because they believe it blends Eastern practices with the Christian faith. Some of this confusion may have to do with the origins of centering prayer, which was seen at first as a Christian alternative to practices like transcendental meditation and Zen. The earliest proponents of centering prayer often used Eastern terminology to describe the practice for example, calling the prayer word a mantra. It's sad that a form of prayer designed to provide people with a Christian alternative to Eastern spiritual practices is now rejected by some expressly because of its similarity to those practices! The real problem here is not the infiltration of "foreign spirituality" into Christianity, but rather the judgmental attitude of those who are too quick to jump to conclusions about spiritual practices with which they are unfamiliar.
In truth, centering prayer is anchored in ancient Christian practices that go back to some of the earliest Christian mystics, among them the Desert Father Evagrius Ponticus and the fifth-century monk John Cassian. It draws on teachings found in the fourteenth-century manuscript The Cloud of Unknowing. These ancient and medieval Christians were uncompromising in their love and devotion to Christ and to the teachings of the Christian faith. Centering prayer keeps their wisdom alive for new seekers of the contemplative path today.
Although the purpose of contemplative prayer is to foster greater intimacy with and devotion to God, some object that the darkness and unknowing inherent in the process hides God as much as it reveals him. True enough. Contemplation is the prayer of paradox, for in it you relax your mind to listen for a God whose light comes to you as darkness and whose word comes to you as silence. Thus, contemplation is the prayer of mystery, for it forces you to sit still and silent in the center of the mystery, where God is a question more than an answer, where God responds to all your questions by asking deeper questions still.
This is not to suggest that contemplation may not have ordinary benefits and blessings; often it does. Many who engage in a sustained, daily practice of contemplation discover not only a deeper sense of well-being and serenity in their lives, but also a heightened awareness of God's continual presence, and of his love flowing to and through them particularly in their dealings with others who may suffer, or who are wounded or in some manner of need. Such subtle blessings cannot be reduced to a simple formula, however. ("Sit in silence an hour a day for a year and you will suddenly feel God's presence all the time.") God is in control here, and he will not be reduced to an equation. Contemplative prayer is a spiritual practice, not a magical spell.
When you engage in contemplation, you join in solidarity with the long tradition of Christian contemplatives who have come before and who will come after.You pray along with Francis of Assisi, Thomas Merton, Evelyn Underhill, Julian of Norwich, Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Meister Eckhart, Bernard of Clairvaux, Therese of Lisieux, Brother Lawrence, the anonymous author of The Cloud of Unknowing, and countless others. Indeed, the renowned mystics who are known to us because they were great writers or teachers represent only a tiny fraction of the great contemplatives in Christian history, most of whom were lovers of God in obscurity and are now known by name to God alone. When you embrace the prayer of deep silence, you join in their communion -a communion that transcends the normal limitations of time and space. For all the contemplatives throughout Christian history (and extending into the future), silence is praise and stillness is a song of love. When you surrender your thought to enter into the dazzling darkness of the unknowing of God, you reach the full flowering of your yearning to be, in the words of Saint Peter, "partakers of the divine nature."
IS CONTEMPLATION FOR YOU?
If you want to integrate the wisdom of the Christian mystics into your own spiritual life, chances are good that, sooner or later, a daily practice of time spent in contemplative silence will be a central part of your relationship with the Ultimate Mystery. But not everyone is called to contemplation. Or, perhaps more accurately, not everyone is called to contemplation now.
The anonymous author of The Cloud of Unknowing suggests that if you are interested in contemplation you must experience two things to discern if you are truly ready to engage in this form of prayer. First, you must feel a growing, daily desire for this kind of prayer, a desire so strong that it impinges on your daily prayer. If you aren't already praying daily, you are probably not ready for contemplation. Christian contemplation emerges from a mature prayer life. Just as toddlers crawl before they walk, aspiring mystics must be immersed in simpler forms of prayer before moving to the more demanding practice of contemplation.
Just as important as this inner longing for contemplation, however, is feeling a sense of joy or enthusiasm concerning your relationship with God, not just during prayer, but also when you are merely thinking about your spiritual practice.
Every Christian is called to pray, but not every Christian needs to, or should, engage in contemplative prayer (at least, not now). If the thought of entering into sustained periods of silence on a daily basis strikes you as daunting or overwhelming, then don't do it or at least, limit your time spent in silence and focus instead on more foundational practices such as sacred reading or verbal prayer. Don't try to force contemplation. Trust your heart and focus on other spiritual disciplines like sacred reading, the Daily Office, or regular time devoted to conversational prayer. Share the dynamics of your inner life with a trusted spiritual friend or director, and be mindful of the subtle ways the Holy Spirit may call you in the future including, perhaps, a call to enter silence more fully when the time is right.
Contemplation emerges naturally out of a mature spirituality. Thus, people who do not feel a sense of longing or joy related to contemplation should aim their spiritual commitment toward those practices that do appeal to them. Lectio, meditation, conversational prayer, and the Daily Office can all, in themselves, foster a more intimate sense of relationship with God which is to say that they are all means by which you can enter into a mystical dimension of Christian discipleship. Furthermore, a sustained, disciplined practice of lectio and prayer can "till the inner soil" to prepare you for an eventual transition into a deeper experience of contemplation.
So if you lack the longing and the enthusiasm for contemplation today, you may simply not be ready for it. It takes self-awareness and more than a little humility to recognize that sometimes your reach exceeds your grasp. It is possible to have a cursory interest in mysticism and contemplation and yet not be spiritually ready to immerse yourself in it. Many people may feel uncomfortable, or not prepared, to engage in a daily practice of sitting still, breathing deeply, and letting go of all extraneous thoughts. Silence may appear to some not as an intriguing mystery waiting to be explored, but rather as a source of fear and uncertainty. Such unease is often a sign that a person is better off pursuing some other form of prayer.
Another important point to consider, however, is that feeling "not ready" for silent prayer could be a mark of humility rather than a sign of not being ready. Paradoxically, humility signifies readiness to do the work of contemplation, even if the nature of humility is to assume one is not worthy! Here, as in every place along the spiritual path where discernment is necessary, the wise counsel of one or a few trusted peers or a mentor will be invaluable.
The wisest of spiritual guides recognize t
hat contemplation, like prayer in general, can manifest in many different ways. Thomas Merton, in his book The Inner Experience, wrote about what he called "masked contemplatives" ordinary men and women who, although they may never have a formal practice of contemplative prayer, nevertheless cultivate a spirit of openness, of wonder, of resting in God in a place deeper than thought. This kind of masked contemplation can happen at any time throughout the day and need not be linked to any particular exercise or practice. Merton gives us an important reminder here that we should never put limits on the action of the Holy Spirit or judge others because they fail to "fit in" with what we consider to be a normal expression of spirituality.
CHAPTER 16
Wood, Water, and Wine
In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.
ISAIAH 3 0: i 5
The fullness of joy is to behold God in everything.
JULIAN OF NORWICH'
An old Zen Buddhist tale recounts the story of a young student of meditation who approaches his teacher with a question: "Roshi, what did you do before you were enlightened?" The old master thinks for a moment and then says, "Mostly I just chopped wood and carried water," referring to the normal chores of his agricultural existence. "And now that you have received enlightenment, how do you pass your time?" continued the student. The teacher smiled and said, "Well, I just chop wood and carry water."
This story carries two lessons for those who follow the Christian path of contemplation. First, it highlights the sheer ordinariness of the spiritual life. Perhaps the young student was hoping to hear about a daily regimen of meditation, chanting, study, and other "spiritual" pursuits. It must have been a surprise to hear the master speak instead about everyday household chores. Likewise, for most people, the concept of "Christian mysticism" probably brings to mind images of monks in contemplation or nuns in ecstasy, rather than more humdrum activities like balancing the checkbook, dealing with rush-hour traffic, or mowing the lawn. And yet, those tasks are exactly what ordinary Christian spiritual seekers and contemplatives are called to do.
The Big Book of Christian Mysticism: The Essential Guide to Contemplative Spirituality Page 23
