by Jennifer Ann
“Like you should talk.” I click my tongue, motioning to her fit body. “As amazing as you look, it’s hard to believe you’re the mother of a baby.”
And not only that, she’s changed in countless other ways since meeting Nolan. She’s not as uptight or into expensive labels, which is ironic considering she married into one of the richest families in the city. Hair braided off to the side, v-neck gray sweater over a long-sleeved dress shirt, and navy jeans with boots, she’s relaxed as ever while still being classy.
“You wouldn't say that if you saw me in a bathing suit.” We both laugh.
My eyes pass down to the oversized glass of chardonnay in my hand. “It blows my mind that almost all of my brothers and sisters are parents now. I’m still trying to figure out when we became adults.”
“I know what you mean. Sometimes I still think I’m too young to be making decisions for another little human. Just you wait—being a mother is a real trip.”
“I don’t know that I’ll ever be one.” Looking back at her, I shrug. “Not sure I want kids.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Seriously?”
I let out a sigh, hating that I have to defend myself. “I know some actresses pull it off, but I don’t want to bring a child into this world only to have someone raise it for me while I’m working twelve-hour days. What’s the point of having a family if you can’t spend quality time with them?”
“What does Theo have to say about that? Does he want kids?”
“Theo and I aren’t serious.” The mere mention of his name triggers my eyes to roll. Since I started fooling around with Asher, I’ve seen even less of Theo outside of the set. We only meet up for public engagements. “Like at all.”
Sofia tilts her head like I’m speaking in a foreign tongue. “I don’t get it. You started seeing each other last Christmas, right? That’s a long time. Do you love him?”
“God, no! It’s just a…uh…publicity stunt.”
Lifting her wine glass to her dark red lips, she grins wickedly behind the rim. “So does that mean Asher has a chance?”
My heart skips a beat as I laugh lightly. “Why would you ask that?”
“He’s only been watching you all night with the kind of dopey eyes guys get when they’re hopelessly in love.”
Turning back to the others, I catch Asher glancing our way. Weird things happen inside my chest when our eyes connect, and his lips quirk with a deep smile. Sofia’s right—there’s something in the way he’s looking at me that makes it difficult to breathe normally.
It’s been a challenge to basically ignore him after everything that went down on the jet. It’s not just that I feel safe whenever he’s close…he understands me, and wants what’s best for me over his own needs. Simply looking at him, remembering what those thick lips can do, is a constant turn-on that I’m never able to ignore.
Clutching my glass a little tighter, I turn back to my sister. “He’s just used to watching my every move.” I try to laugh again, but it sounds fake as hell. “You’re imagining things, Sof.”
“I don’t think so. But whatever you do, be careful. Guys like him have hearts of gold that can easily be broken. There’s a reason he’s tight with James—they’re a lot alike.” All at once appearing nostalgic, she reaches out to take my free hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. “I miss you so much, Ang. I wish your schedule wasn’t so crazy so you could come up more often and visit. There’s so much in the city I want to show you, and I’d love it if Lexie could get to know her other auntie better.”
“I’d love that too! I’ll have a good chunk of time off after we finish filming the current season in February. There’ll still be occasional obligations, but I’m sure I’ll have at least a solid week or two free.”
“Awesome. I’m holding you to it.” Her arms wrap around me. “I love you, sis. Always know you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you want.”
“I love you, too,” I reply, squeezing her back.
Nolan steps in as we’re parting. “They’re getting ready to serve us.”
Just as Evelyn hit the jackpot with Charlie, Sofia was fortunate to have found the dimpled millionaire who would do anything for the woman he loves. Dark eyes, dark hair and beard, as well as a background as a Marine and jiu-jitsu fighter make him handsome in a rugged way, but he’s dressed as classy as his wife in a sports jacket and khakis custom-made to fit his broad frame. Above all, I’m grateful for his easy-going mannerism. He was the first one to show Sofia how to relax and have fun with life. If they hadn’t met, it’s possible she would’ve worked herself to death.
“Thank you for putting this together,” I say, touching his shoulder.
“We’re just happy you were able to make time for a visit.” He leans in to kiss my cheek, filling me with the crisp scent of sandalwood. “Now let’s eat! I’m starved!”
The five course dinner goes well beyond my expectations. I end up sitting diagonally from Asher, and catch myself staring at him too often. The way the candlelight illuminates his face as he laughs and carries on with my brother the way they had as kids, I grow increasingly eager to ditch my family and check into our hotel for the night.
But the meal takes forever, and we go through several pots of coffee over desert. By the time we’re saying our goodbyes, I’m dead on my feet, and can’t wait to lay my head on the pillow.
Asher has different plans.
When I come out of the bathroom in my newest cami and shorts set, he crooks a finger from the center of the master suite, a grim twist pulling at his lips. “Come ‘ere, beautiful.”
He’s gloriously naked. I step forward at his request, unable to talk myself out of ogling every last dip and curve of his delightfully inked body. His cock stands proud between us, swollen as ever and twitching in anticipation. I fall into his thick arms, and he kisses me until the room’s spinning. But there’s something different about the way his mouth moves against mine and his hands cradle my body. It’s like he’s savoring every second.
Fear violently ripples through my limbs, settling in my spine. What if he’s getting ready to call this off? If John had given me the courtesy of one last time, I imagine it would’ve felt a lot like this. Filled with desperation and longing as he struggles with the decision to let me go.
But I don’t have any right to ask him to stay in this fucked-up arrangement. I can only relish in the moment along with him, and cherish the memories of what we had.
When I grind into his erection, he hoists me up so my legs wrap around his waist, then carries me to the king-sized bed. I’m soon naked too. He holds on to my face as our kiss deepens. It’s too sensual, too intimate. If I let it continue like this, I’ll completely unravel.
I tear my mouth away and grab his cock, smirking. “You gonna give me some of this or what?”
His dark eyes jump back and forth between mine as his gentle thumbs brush over my cheeks. “I love you, Angelina.”
Looking downward, my chest tingles with his confession. It’s more than I could’ve hoped for from him, yet it’s exactly what I’ve secretly feared. I wasn’t strong enough to stop myself from starting something, even though I knew it was wrong, and I mistakenly thought we could be together without making it complicated. Where would I possibly find the energy to maintain a relationship?
Squeezing my eyes shut, I shake my head and release him. “No you don’t. You love my body.”
When I open my eyes again, his face lights with a dazzling smile. “Well, that too. I love everything about you—your passion for your career, your quirky humor, the way you’re elegant as fuck one minute and swearing like a sailor the next…you’re the total package. I never thought I’d find a woman like you.”
Shifting beneath him, I glance over to the quiet borough outside the window. “What do you want me to say?”
“That you’ll stop pretending with Theo, and give this thing with us a real shot.”
“You know I can’t.”
His hands return to my fa
ce, forcing me to look at him. “That’s bullshit. You can. You just don't want to. There’s a big difference.” His expression changes all at once, becoming stone somber. “If you can say without any doubt that you aren’t ready for something serious with me, I’ll respect your decision. You can even hire someone else to be your bodyguard if it’ll make you feel better. But if there’s any part of you that wants to see what kind of future we’d have, give me a chance. Call it quits with that worthless cokehead once and for all. Let me show you I’m the right man for you—the only man.”
I wrap my arms around my middle while pulling my quivering lips into my mouth. Damn it, he’s so sweet. Accepting his offer seems like the right thing to do, like it’s how things were meant to be, and our journeys led us down this path. It’d be so easy to agree to be his, knowing he’d treat me with the kind of adoration and respect every woman dreams of getting from a man. So why am I shaking my head as hot tears tumble down my cheeks?
It’s hard to hold back immense guilt for wanting to tell him we’re done. As much as I cherish what we had, and suspect I may be falling in love with him too, I can’t give him what he wants. I can’t risk everything with the public’s reaction to my split with Theo.
“We’ve talked about this, Ash.”
Lowering his chin, he drops his forehead against mine. “Then don’t say anything more. Let me make love to you one last time. Please, baby. At least give me that.”
I release a quiet sob, nodding. He’s soon kissing my wet face, and sinking into me.
Normally sex between us is hard, and often dirty. This time he’s so tender and intentional with every thrust that my tears don’t stop flowing.
This was my decision, yet it feels gross and wrong.
11
Asher
The final day of our trip to Brooklyn, I’m reduced to becoming Angie’s silent protector. While we don’t spend any time alone, I’m always a few steps away. She’s been completely off since I confessed that I love her. She never looks at me. She hardly ever smiles, even when playing with her nieces and nephew who are all cuter than shit. Her sisters catch on quickly, throwing her worried glances as we’re saying our goodbyes.
It ripped me apart when she didn’t say she loved me back, or that she couldn’t choose me over a lie. I’m still not convinced it’s what her heart wants, but pushing her into changing her mind isn’t going to help anything. If she makes the decision to be with me, I want it to be all hers.
The flight home she pretends to sleep, avoiding any more awkward conversation. Once she’s locked behind her apartment door, I turn into my own place for the night.
Fuckin’ hate that we’ve become cold and despondent toward each other. But what else could I have possibly done when she turned me down? In the end, I’m only here because Charlie and Evelyn wanted someone to watch out for her best interests. If they knew about our secret affair, I imagine her brother-in-law would fire my ass, and send me back to Minnesota. Even if she doesn’t want to be with me, I’m not quite ready to leave. I still care about her. I don’t want to see her hurt. Besides, I don’t think it’s possible for a person to fall out of love overnight.
The next couple of days are brutal. I’m forced to watch from the back of the set as Theo kisses her, even telling her in one scene that he loves her. The kicker is when she says it back with real conviction the way I wish she had said it to me. Takes every last bit of courage I can muster not to march up to Theo and throw my fist into his perfectly symmetrical face.
On Wednesday afternoon, James calls while Angie’s on set with the news that the doctor finally induced Sharlo, and she delivered their first daughter. It hurts to see the pride on my buddy’s face in the video call when it doesn’t seem I’ll ever know that kind of happiness. At least not with Angie.
When filming wraps up for the day, I tell Angie about her new niece. Expression slack, dull eyes becoming wet, she only nods before heading to her dressing room. An ache spreads through my chest as I helplessly watch her leave.
With every hour, she becomes more distant when we’re alone, and her mood swings are all over the place. By Thursday morning, I’m so fucking worried about her that I’m ready to call Evelyn. Again I’m reminded of those damn pills that fell out of her purse at James and Shar’s house. What if there’s more going on, and she’s upset about something other than what happened between us? I’m no head doctor, but I’m starting to think she might be depressed.
As we’re walking onto the set that morning, she spins around to look directly into my eyes for the first time since we last made love. Her pained expression breaks me all over again. “I’m leaving early tonight to run an errand. I’d prefer if you didn't come along.”
Her request sets off a shit-ton of red flags. Why wouldn’t she want me to go on a simple errand? What’s she hiding? Is this how it’s going to end between us?
I cross my arms over my chest and scowl down on her. “Are you going out in public?”
“I’ll be fine. I have an after-hours appointment. There won’t be any other patients there.”
Patients. Could it have something to do with her prescription? “Everything okay?”
“It will be.” She snaps her eyes away from mine with her mouth in a tight line.
Stubborn woman.
“At least let me drive you to this appointment. Then if you run into any troubles, I won’t be far behind.”
Her fingers splay across her clean face as she lets out a soft grunt. “Fine. But you’re staying in the car.”
The fact that she didn’t shut me out completely puts me in a better mood as I watch the day’s filming. But once she’s in my car, giving me directions from the backseat, I begin to suspect there’s something really wrong. There’s an occasional tremor in her voice, and her face seems unusually pale. When she has me pull up to a side door on a health clinic with a mostly empty parking lot, I park by the curb and turn to her.
“Sure you don’t want me going in with you?”
She replies with a firm shake of her head. “I’m okay on my own. I’ll call if I need you.”
Her teeth chatter beneath the fake smile she throws me. Throwing on a pair of sunglasses and flipping the hood of her sweatshirt over her hair, she storms off into the darkness toward the lit entrance.
Every last instinct burns for me to follow her inside, but she seems upset enough the way it is. The notion that she could be dealing with something life-threatening has my stomach on edge.
Forty-five torturous minutes pass as I sit in the parked car, eyes trained on the door. Finally, Angie comes bursting out, running at the car with her hood flopping in the wind behind her. Swear to god my heart’s gonna beat out of my damn chest when she gets close enough that I’m able to read her expression.
She’s terrified.
Everything about the situation sets off alarms in my head. Why would she be running from a clinic? What the hell went down in there?
Grabbing my gun from the glove compartment, I shove it in the back of my jeans and step out of the car. “The fuck’s goin’ on?”
“Get back in!” She waves both hands out in front of her. “We have to go!”
A dark-haired woman comes flying out of the same hospital door in a dead run toward us, yelling Angie’s name.
“The hell?” I mutter, stepping all the way out.
Angie throws herself into my arms, tears tumbling down her cheeks. “Please, Ash, get me outta here!”
I glance back at the woman. She looks familiar, but I can’t quite place from where. “Who’s that? What does she want from you?”
“I’ll explain later, I promise! Just—we have to go!”
Nodding, I slip back into the car as she jumps into the passenger’s seat. We’ve hardly moved before the dark-haired woman slams her hands on the roof of the car at Angie’s side, yelling for her to get out. Suddenly I remember her from the day she stormed onto set, demanding to see Angie.
“You crazy bitch! I knew you could
n’t let him go! I’m calling the cops! You hear me? Your career is over!”
“Keep going!” Angie sobs, turning away from the woman. “Please!”
I drive through the dark night until Angie’s tears have stopped. She stares out the windshield instead, eyes hardly ever blinking. She’s quiet as I continue past downtown in the opposite direction of our building. Remembering the secluded beach where she’s gone a few times for early morning runs, I maneuver through traffic to take her there.
Thank fuck the beach is completely deserted this time of night. Before I can turn the engine off, she starts for the dark water. I trail behind with my breath held, waiting for her to offer an explanation. Can hardly stand to watch her battle with this shit when I’d rather hold her and kiss her pain away.
She kicks her shoes off in the sand, continuing on until she’s ankle deep in the ocean. I plop down behind her, arms hanging off my knees. Seeing her standing in the moonlight, hair blowing over her shoulders as she stares out at the waves, I’m reminded of how fucking hard I love her. Whatever's going on between her and that woman, she needs me more than before.
After a few drawn-out minutes, she turns to me with a slack expression. “I’m pregnant.”
I stare back at her, my heart trying to burst from my throat.
Holy. Shit. It’s the absolute last thing I expected her to say.
Rubbing my stubbled jaw with both hands, I look past her, trying to process what she’s saying as a dozen questions come to mind with the speed of an automatic rifle. Is it mine? We often went without a condom because she told me she’s on the pill, so it’s possible depending on when it happened. The idea that Theo could be the father turns my stomach upside down. It would be a complete game-changer.
But what does her being pregnant have to do with the clinic and the angry woman threatening to call the cops? Was she there to get an abortion?
“How far?” I ask, sliding my gaze back to her.
