I frown, unsure of what to say. I feel Clio’s eyes on me as he studies the flicker of emotion.
“You think their attack was against me?” I whisper.
Tarj nods. “If you move to Mentis, we can protect you. It will give you a chance to hone your developing powers without drawing attention to yourself. We have a place set up for you to stay and have arranged to have your Coven Duties in Ignis taken care of.”
I glance down before looking back up at him. “What happens if I decide to stay in Ignis? Stay in my home and pretend these last few days haven’t happened?”
“Then we can’t protect you. You’ll be responsible for watching your own back.”
“So you’ll do nothing,” I say flatly.
Tarj arches an eyebrow. “Not nothing, just not as much as we would do if you chose to go to Mentis, to be safe.”
Do you really want me to be safe or do you just not want them to find me? I wonder.
“Think carefully, Li,” Clio warns.
I glance between him and Helena—each of them has something different in mind for my future. Helena clasps her hands together across her heart as if she’s praying for me. I wonder what thoughts run through her mind. Clio had made his opinion known, but she hadn’t done the same.
Not yet anyways.
“You don’t have to decide now.” Tarj glances between my friends as if he wishes they hadn’t been present for the conversation. “I’ll let you talk to your parents and get your affairs in order, but tomorrow, I need an answer.”
I push my lips together into a straight line. The idea of a short deadline for such an important decision makes me sick, like I have a rock in the pit of my stomach.
I’m sure that’s the point.
“That’s fair.”
Tarj looks at each of us intensely before his gaze lingers on me. “Be sure,” he says before he begins to walk away, back up the rise toward his Covenmate.
“That wasn’t a friendly conversation,” Clio remarks, staring after Tarj’s departing form. “‘Get your affairs in order?’ Almost sounds like a threat.”
Helena ignores Clio’s words and begins to bombard me with questions. “You’re going to stay, right? You can’t just up and leave. What about your parents? What about Fern?”
“If I leave, it doesn’t have to be permanent,” I remind them. “Tarj says it can be temporary.”
“Do you trust that after Fern’s warning?” Clio asks, shifting his weight to one side.
I scoff. “You don’t even trust Fern. Why would you believe her warning to be suddenly more credible?”
“You can’t stay here. You have to go—to see if Mentis can teach you something you can put to good use,” Clio interrupts.
“Don’t encourage her to leave,” Helena snaps at him, her face reddening with her rage.
He frowns at her in response. “Why do you want her to stay in a place that has nothing left to offer her? A place that could be potentially dangerous for her? That seems a little selfish! You want to keep her from working with her powers just because you don’t have any?” He stomps his foot as he steps closer to her.
Helena laughs bitterly. “At least I’m not telling her to leave because she’s complicated. At least I’m trying to help her through this. We’ve all got problems, Clio, but that doesn’t mean we turn our backs on our friends!”
Clio’s lip pulls up into a snarl before it shifts to a wicked smirk. “You’re so lucky you’re UnEquipped. If you were in my army, I would have such fun whipping you into shape.”
“Stop it, guys,” I order, pinching the bridge of my nose. “This petty bickering isn’t helping!”
Helena looks at me through apologetic eyes, but Clio clenches his jaw, looking only more irritated.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, okay? I-I think I need to talk to Fern.”
“What? But she started this!” Clio says.
Helena shoots him a glare, and I hold my palm to my forehead, feeling as if they’re on the verge of fighting once more. It isn’t like them to go at each other’s throats.
This decision before me affects everyone.
“Stop it, for real. She didn’t start anything. She was only trying to help. Since she knows more than any of us, I think my best course of action now would be to see if she has anything else to tell me.”
Clio dips his head in understanding though I can tell by the look in his eyes that it’s a hard thing for him to do. He wants to continue making his point, I can tell by the glint in his eyes. Helena doesn’t move. She stares at me through wide green eyes that seem expressionless in comparison with Clio’s, and I feel a wave of sadness wash over me. It’s hard to believe that only a handful of days ago, my biggest problem was the manifestation of my powers.
Now, I consider the possibility of never seeing my friends again…and for what cause?
“Do you want me to come with you?” Clio asks.
Deep down, I desire to have my friend with me. If my time in Ignis truly is limited, I want to spend as much time with them as I can. It goes against The Council’s rules for people of different Covens to spend time together. Healers, such as Ambrossi, are the only ones allowed to break the treaty and move between Covens without consequence.
Going to Mentis wouldn’t just mean saying goodbye to my parents, but to Ambrossi and Fern as well. Even Angel.
I take a deep breath, pushing away the desire for friendship. This seems like a problem I have to face on my own. If I’m on the verge of a life-altering decision, I need to use all my energy to search every possible option I can manage. A split-focus can only hurt me.
Despite the voices screaming in my head to reach out to them both, I shake it away. “I need to do this alone,” I say to my friends as well as to the voices in my mind.
Helena’s jaw drops open but Clio’s sets in frustration.
“What the hell? So that’s it?” he snaps. “Goodbye, just like that?”
“I’ll see you guys again before I make up my mind. I-I just need some time alone to think.”
Helena rushes toward me to wrap her arms around my shoulders. I hug her back without a word, glancing at Clio as I do so. A bitter smirk touches his lips, and he reaches up to scratch at his nose to hide it. Helena pulls back and stares at me through wide eyes without a word. There’s so much emotion in them that she doesn’t need to say anything for me to be able to tell what she’s thinking.
“Go, but you better make the right decision,” Clio commands.
What if I don’t know what that is? I think to myself but turn away to walk the path alone.
Chapter Nine
Home Sweet Home
AS I WALK across the sun-parched Earth, my footsteps clomp through the dirt, churning up puffs into the midday air. The sun beats down on my black hair causing the first trickles of sweat to run down my face. It’s easy to ignore the heat with the nagging pain in my leg. I almost have to drag the dead weight of it as I move. Somehow, I don’t focus on it, instead shifting my attention to the task at hand.
If anyone can help me make this decision, Fern can.
In the distance, I see her oasis, and I let out a huff of air. The pain in my leg is so intense at this point that I almost consider dragging myself the rest of the way. As if Fern hears my thoughts, she appears before me, lips drawn into a frown as she eyes my leg. I let out a short laugh in relief and sit down among the bit of grass that surrounds the water, admittedly glad for the opportunity to rest.
“I heard the news,” she says. “I’m so sorry.”
“It only gets worse,” I assure her.
Fern sighs and tilts her head to the side before sitting on the ground beside me. “Yeah, this past week has not been kind to you, it seems.”
“They burned Iris today…before I could talk to her. They say they gave her a proper trial, but I'm not so sure,” I admit, feeling the corners of my mouth tremble.
Fern pushes her lips into a straight line. “In instances like these,
it’s hard to be sure of anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if they decided to blow off the proper rituals and execute her anyway…many of the people across all five Covens stood by their decision.”
I let out a dark chuckle. “I’m the only one that questioned it. Even Clio and Helena thought I was crazy for trying to get Iris to talk to me.”
“They haven’t been through the things you have. I’m sure if Iris had information they were after they would’ve done the same. These are hard times for them as well. I’m sure that once you make up your mind, they’ll come around to whatever you decide. They’re your best friends after all.”
I glance at her from the corner of my eye, remembering Clio’s doubts. Despite my feelings, it’s hard not to wonder if he’s right. Did Iris tell Fern anything that she refuses to share? I want to believe she has the best intentions for me, but as Helena had pointed out, everyone has their problems. I can’t imagine Fern having a stake in anything bad that could happen to me. The look on her face shows concern, general understanding…not malice.
If I want to believe Iris then that means believing Fern as well. That would make our governing Coven a potential enemy. The thought of Tarj’s words makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. If I simply refuse to switch Covens, will they resort to murdering me in cold-blood as they had done to Willow to avoid the work of looking after me and say that I’m a traitor to them as well?
I clench my hands into fists, wishing more than ever that I knew a witch with the ability to see into the future.
“Maybe so, but I still can’t face my parents after that whole argument we had, Helena and Clio are at each other’s throats, and now I have to decide which Coven I want to live in before tomorrow.”
Fern’s tiny eyes stretch wide. “That was approved by The Council?”
I frown. “More like required by them. They say it’ll be too hard to protect me if I stay at home so they need to move me as quickly as they can. Because of my powers, they think I should live in Mentis for a while, but I don’t want to go. As crazy as it sounds, I want these people to find me. I want to see if any of them can pick up where Iris left off.”
Fern grins, but it’s a small one. “Be glad The Council isn’t making the decision for you. If I may say so, it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind.”
I smile bitterly and shake my head. “Maybe. It’d be nice to hear someone say I wasn’t crazy for it.”
“Who thinks that?”
“Clio for sure,” I answer, dragging my finger through the dirt to avoid meeting her gaze. “Helena begged me to stay, but I don’t think she fully understands what I’m going through.”
“It seems to me that Clio has issues with all of your decisions,” Fern says, raising an eyebrow. “He’s supposed to be your adversary, am I right? Take his doubts in stride. Sometimes it’s good to hear both sides of an argument before making up your mind.”
“Yeah, maybe. Problem is, I’ve already decided, but he just won’t hear it.”
“I understand not wanting to leave your friends and family, but what’s really your motivation for staying? Are you hoping they’ll plan another attack on Ignis just to give you answers? If so, I have to agree with Clio. That plan seems reckless and potentially dangerous for a lot of your Covenmates.”
I stare at her for a long moment. It hadn’t been my original thought, but now, I realize it’s the primary motivation I have—I want them to find me. If they know what my parents are hiding, I have to know as well. “They don’t have to attack us again. I’ll stand right out in the open if it means finding out what I need to know. Look, I don’t know whether or not Iris was a crazy rogue, but there’s something in me that won’t let this go.”
Fern flaps her wings a few times. “Follow that instinct. It’s there for a reason.”
I bow my head. “So you think I should stay?”
A small smile once again graces her face as she looks at me. “It doesn’t matter what I think. This decision is yours to make alone. You sound like you know what you want to do, and as long as you hold onto that motivation, no one can take it away from you.”
“You’re right.” I straighten my back and stare out across the blue water of the oasis. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Fern.”
“I’m glad I could help,” she says. “You still have one other problem.”
I blink at her, my mind drawing a blank as the bit of happiness I managed to gather disappears.
“Your parents,” she continues. “What are you going to do about them? You can’t avoid them forever.”
It’s a good question, a problem I don’t know how to solve. “I have to deal with them eventually if I am staying. I can’t crash at Helena’s for the rest of my life.” I move to stand to my feet when Fern frowns at me. “What?” I ask, peering up at her through my hair.
“You’re hurting,” she says. “Worse than usual.”
As much as I hate to admit it, I can’t hide it from Fern. “Yeah, it’s been a stressful day.”
“I have something that can help with the pain. Wait here.”
She flits away, and I sigh as I plop back into the dirt, letting out a silent blessing to her. A tiny trill of anger runs through me when I remember that Clio thinks she’s using me for some unknown reason. No one would be as dedicated as she is if they didn’t truly care. I force myself to hold onto that thought.
When Fern returns, she clutches a small bag with a purple sphere. I take it from her, holding it up curiously to try to better see inside. “What is this?”
“I call it a chew. It’s a mix of herbs and magic used to combat the pain caused by magical damage. Just chew on it for a while and it should make your walk home easier. Don’t swallow it or it’ll make you sick.”
“Ambrossi gave you this?”
She nods. “With the development of your new powers, he worried you’d have another accident and wouldn’t be so keen to report it to him.”
“His anal retentiveness has saved the day once again. Remind me to thank him next time I see him,” I say as I open the bag.
Fern offers me a gentle look. “Will do. Now, get home and get things sorted while you still have the courage to do so.”
I mutter a quick ‘thank you’ before she flies away to her hole in the tree. I smile after her and hold the chew up to my face. It’s an ugly ball and the smell makes my eyes run, but I’ve always trusted Ambrossi’s judgement. I pop it in my mouth, pushing it around my teeth in preparation for a terrible taste that I’m sure accompanies it. To my surprise, there is none. The radiating pain in my leg changes to a dull ache, and I find it a lot easier to stand to my feet when I try.
I continue to chew it as I approach my parents’ house, freezing outside as I try to gather my nerve. I reach into the pocket of my robe, but Ambrossi’s amulet isn’t there. My head droops as I remember leaving it in my room. I see a shadow pass by the window suddenly, breaking me from my thoughts, and I know it’s my mother.
Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? the voice floats through my mind.
I freeze, sending a glance over my shoulder to see that I’m alone. The voice had been loud, as if the person responsible spoke directly into my ear.
That’s strange, I think to myself.
I frown, chalking the event up to my stress as I steel my shoulders and make my way into the house. As predicted, my mother stands in the kitchen, twining her fingers as she paces the length of the floorboards. At the sight of me, she runs up to pull me into her arms. I can feel her relief, but I don’t share in it. I give her a weak hug back and pull away. My father finally catches sight of me, and he approaches, setting a hand to my hair.
“Lilith, where have you been?” Regina asks, wiping a lock of hair out of my eyes as she grabs my shoulders.
“I was at Helena’s.”
“Tarj stopped by today, he told us you were at the trial,” my father says, raising an eyebrow as he stares at me, the bit of kindness at his greeting gone in
an instant.
I glance down at my hands. Home less than a minute and the arguing is already ready to start once again.
“What were you doing today?” my mother prompts.
“I-I had to see. I had to talk to her again.”
“But why?”
I stare at her through unamused eyes as Iris’ words run through my mind. Regina’s stoic face stares back at me. I should love her unconditionally—she’s my mother, after all—but in this moment, I don’t feel a thing for her. A quick glance toward Howard is enough for me to know that I have the same absence of emotion for him as well. If they can lie to me for fifteen years, how can I ever bring myself to love them again?
“C’mon, Mother. I think we’ve already had this talk.”
“You’re still on that, are you?” my father asks, voice scathing as he shakes his head in obvious disappointment.
“Yes, because I’ve gotten old enough to realize that what you’ve told me isn’t the truth. Things don’t make sense anymore, Father.”
“That’s because you have a penchant for the dramatic and a tendency to overthink things."
“Maybe, but not this time. My gut doesn’t lie. For all my trying, I can’t use pyrokinetic powers. That means I didn’t burn myself. And if I didn’t do it…who did? Tell me exactly how my accident happened.”
My mother and father cast glances to each other as if they’re communicating through their gazes alone. I wish I could read minds. I have the feeling all the information I want to know is being exchanged through their eyes alone.
Regina chews on her bottom lip for a long moment. “You’re right—you didn’t start the fire.”
“Then who did?” I question, feeling my heart pound in my chest at the thought of them coming clean.
“’What does it matter?’” Howard says. “What we should talk about is the decision you have before you!”
“What does it matter?” I echo, feeling my jaw swing open in disbelief. “The story you’ve told me my entire life has been a lie!”
“I-I-” Regina seems as if she’s about to throw up during her struggle for words.
The Council Page 8
