I flinch at her statement, unsure where the conversation is going. Has she been successful in probing Chastity’s mind already? Did she see something about me in the girl’s thoughts?
The Sage watches me fidget for a moment, her expression carefully guarded once again. Even if she didn’t have access to my mind, she’d be able to tell I’m hiding something by my body language alone.
What the hell is wrong with you? I scold myself, but I can’t help it. Yeah, you’d do so well under torture. The anticipation of what she’ll say next hurts as if she’s punched me right in the heart—it is torture.
“Can I tell you something?” Her voice finally fills the room as her ancient fingers tap rhythmically on a thick tome on her desk.
“Anything.”
“What I’m about to tell you is something that must not be shared with anyone else. Even Hyacinth must be kept out with a lock and key.”
I nod, swallowing heavily as I watch her. Does she have something to tell me about Willow? The Elementals? Myself? She sounds almost timid, afraid…not like The Sage at all.
I’m about to be let in on something I’ll dread, my intuition warns, but I wave it away.
“I support the Elementals—their beliefs.”
All the air is instantly knocked from my lungs, and my legs buckle beneath me. Thankfully, I’m standing in front of the chair when I fall backward. Though at the moment, I doubt I would’ve noticed if I fell directly to the floor.
“Wh-what?” I ask, and it’s the only comprehensible sound I can make though far from the questions I want to ask. My jaw hangs open so wide I fear it’ll hit the floor if I can’t manage to find a way to close my mouth.
“The treaty—it hurts us all. I wish it would be destroyed. If I could curse the witches who crafted it, I would. The Land of Five was never meant to be split. The Covens are supposed to depend on each other, not us. Us witches, we strive the best when our powers our mixed.”
“It keeps us safe…functioning,” I try to argue the information I had been fed my entire life, the official party line, even though I have trouble believing it myself. Talking on autopilot is my way of hoping to keep the uncertainty from my voice, but it’s hard.
This situation is equivalent to standing on the edge of the cliff. One wrong move, and I’ll go over. Problem is, I don’t know what that wrong move could be. Does The Sage really believe the words she’s saying or does she suspect me to be closer to the Elementals than I admit?
Is it another test to draw information from me?
“No. That’s what you’ve been brainwashed to believe. If you’ve noticed, things around here function on lies because if people knew the truth, it wouldn’t work.”
I draw my eyebrows together before chewing on my fingernails, stalling for time before I ask, “What’s the truth?”
“The main purpose of the treaty is to allow The Council to manipulate the Land of Five as it sees fit, which happens to be all the wrong ways.”
It’s easy to believe that when I think of the drought in both Aens and Mentis that could easily be fixed by the abilities of a witch like Kieran from Aquais.
I tense, suddenly thinking of Quinn’s words in Mentis. His speech had been so barbed with emotion, just like The Sage’s now. I have grown so accustomed to being around bitter witches, myself included, that I haven’t stopped to think he could be part of the Elementals, but now it seems obvious. The room threatens to spin around me, and I rest my head on the back of the chair, staring at the ceiling as the faces of all the people that showed some sign of displeasure with The Council run through my mind.
I never would’ve placed The Sage among them.
And that’s why you should always expect the unexpected, Misty’s ironic phrase from the last day of school makes a lap through my mind.
“I-I don’t understand,” I finally blurt out, sitting bolt upright in the chair to stare her down. “How can you believe this? You’re the head of The Council! These people are your enemies!”
“You’re not a close-minded person, Lilith. Don’t tell me you’ve never had a doubtful thought about the way the Land of Five is run? You’ve never had a moment you wished the treaty didn’t exist? That you wished things in Ignis had been different?”
I study her face, searching for signs of which direction I should go with the conversation but her face is as stoic as ever. She’s determined not to give clues. That’s a worrisome thought because without knowing if I should tell the truth or lie the only answer I can give is how I honestly feel. Part of me is still paranoid that this is a trap of some kind, and I don’t want to willingly get myself caught in it to be executed beside Chastity.
“I mean no disrespect in saying this but nothing about this makes sense! I mean, what exactly are you telling me? Are you not on either side of the war? Or are you with the Elementals? If you are, it makes no sense that you would kill Iris…or order such a swift execution for Chastity as well. Why kill those witches if you support them? For that matter, w-why not just abolish the treaty yourself and end this war before it can even begin?”
“It’s not as simple as that, my dear.”
I raise my eyebrows but don’t speak. After my speech, I’m winded. But that’s nowhere near as troubling as the confusion in my mind.
“It’s time for me to tell you a little story, Lilith. When I first came into this position, I was young—maybe a year or two older than you. There were no Elementals…just five Covens who were trying to heal after the shock of a century long war. I was just a little girl when the treaty was made. It was held in high regard all the way up to my Dedication Ceremony. When it was first crafted, the writers thought keeping the different witches apart would be the best way to handle the situation to keep us from killing each other like we had done for so long. It sounded like a good idea at first. When I was elected to be the next Sage, I adored it.”
“What changed your mind?”
“I believed in it for a long time, I really did. Up until The Council sent me out into the Land of Five. That’s when I saw for myself the harm it did to everyone. That was my biggest motivation. I wanted to create new tactics for our lives, new ways to help things change so the treaty could be scrapped. Accomplishing that is a harder task than I was ever told. All I’ve been able to establish in my time as The Sage is the Healer system.”
I blink rapidly a few times. The most powerful witch in the Land of Five is pouring her heart out to me and I haven’t the faintest idea of how to respond. “You’re The Sage,” I say for emphasis. “Your word is law! They have to obey you—no matter what you decide!”
“Not in this situation, they don’t. One person should never decide what happens to the majority. The Council was formed with that idea in mind. While I have absolute say in the way the Grove is run, it’s a collaborative project to work on the rest of the Land of Five. When the treaty was formed, it was an effort of The Council, not The Sage. It’s an important idea…one that needed to be supported by a variety of different people.”
“So, The Council has to decide whether or not it sticks?” I ask, lowering my chin.
“Yes, and like most of the Covens, they support it,” The Sage replies.
“Why not dismiss them and recruit Elementals then?”
“There are a number of reasons why that won’t work. Many of the witches support it…especially the older ones, ones that knew people or were directly affected by the war. They remember what it was like, and they don’t want to go back. If the treaty was suddenly destroyed, I fear there would be mass rioting.”
I purse my lips. “If they didn’t want war, why would they resort to violence?”
“It’s a delicate situation, Lilith.”
I tilt my head to the side. I can’t understand the logic, but I prompt The Sage to continue. “So back to my other question then…why not dismiss the people on The Council that support the treaty and replace them with Elementals instead?”
“The Elementals won’t come to me to
be recruited. We’re their enemy, as far as they’re concerned, and they’ve made it clear violence is the route they’re going to establish their goals. The Elementals hope that if we’re destroyed, the treaty will be too.”
“So why recruit me? What do you possibly think I can do about it? I never even wanted to be on The Council.”
“Exactly. You tie into this thing more than you think. Who you are is important.”
That curveball smacks me in the side of the head. “W-who am I?” I stutter, wondering if she’ll actually tell me the truth she had taunted me with before.
“There are many answers to that question,” she says but falls silent.
I sigh, not willing to hide the disappointment her statement has caused. Great, more cryptic bullshit. It seems so much crueler in comparison to the hope she had instilled in me. I close my eyes for a long moment, hoping to contain the whirlwind of emotions as I mutter, “Why are you telling me all this?”
“I’m growing old, Lilith. A successor will have to be named as I grow closer to my death. Someone who can walk in my footsteps.”
“Me?” I ask, stretching my eyes as wide as they’ll go as my fingers dig into the armrest of the chair, blanching my knuckles white.
“From the first time I heard about you at the Arcane Ceremony, how the Elementals were drawn to you, I thought how perfect you could be. Call it intuition, but I have a feeling you’ll have a huge role in this war. The more events that unfold make me believe I’m right. You’re a strong witch, Lilith…whether or not you’re willing to see that.”
I want to scream at her that she’s insane, but I don’t. “All my life, people have pitied me. No one’s ever thought me to be capable of great things…Hell, they haven’t even expected me to do regular things. How am I supposed to have faith in myself?”
“Because they’re wrong.”
“And what if they’re not?” I question, folding my arms across my chest.
“You’re free to believe what you will, but think about all you’ve accomplished since your Arcane Ceremony. Take that into consideration before you judge yourself.”
I scoff and stare at the floor. She can say whatever she will about ‘what I’ve accomplished,’ but to me, it feels like I’ve hit a wall.
“The way I see it, you can live your life as is, continuing to feel like an underdog, or you can step up. Be someone who matters, and make a change,” she says, her ancient voice firm as she stares me down.
I look up to meet her gaze. “And what makes you think I’ll be able to do much more than you?”
The Sage smiles at my barbed question, relaxing into her padded seat as she laces her fingers together on her desk. “That’s part of your strength, not backing down. Rebellious spirits are not always a flaw. At first, I thought you might be an Elemental yourself with your quick tongue and impressive line of powers.”
“Is that why you forced me into my Dedication? To keep an eye on me?” I ask, strangely emotionless.
“I don’t think my answer will make you feel any better.”
The boiling rage just beneath the surface of my skin tells me she’s right. “And now?” I challenge. “What do you think of me?”
“You’re an asset. Perhaps the greatest I have. I think The Elementals are drawn to you because you’re tied to them. Whether you know it or not, you’ve been marked,” she says, gesturing her wrinkled hand to my bad leg.
“M-marked? By who?” I ask, instantly remembering what Lavina had told me of my “accident.”
Had I been injured to hide the truth because I had been born an Elemental?
A knock sounds at the door, causing me to jump. The Sage looks at me apologetically as she gets up from her seat. “I’m sorry to leave you like this, but duty calls, my dear.” She wanders toward the entrance of the long corridor separating her room from the Common Room. “That’s Lynx,” she mutters and disappears into the darkness before I’m able to stutter another word.
I sink deeper into the chair I had been perched on the edge of, holding my head in my hands, and wonder if the conversation I just had was even real.
Chapter Thirty-One
Labyrinth
I STAY IN The Sage’s office well past her leaving, listening to the clock tick in the corner of the room as my life spins out of my control. For all the urging, I can’t get myself to move. Between the bomb The Sage had dropped on me, and Lavina’s revelation of my past, I’m shell-shocked and overwhelmed. Nothing seems to matter. I want to trudge to my room and curl up to sleep for about thirty moons.
Of course I can’t do that.
Chastity’s execution will be the first one I attend as a member of The Council…even if I don’t agree with it. I have to pretend to pledge my loyalty to them for the sake of the Covens, The Sage, and myself.
When I finally build up the nerve to stumble into the Common Room, so much time has passed that it’s empty. Rayna must’ve taken Chastity somewhere for holding—I make a mental note to find out where that is when things settle down—and Crowe most likely escorted Hyacinth back to Mentis, per The Sage’s request.
I let out a shuddering sigh of relief before finding the nearest chair and once again collapsing into it with thoughts swirling in my mind despite the blocks and cloaks I put up to try to make it stop. How can The Sage possibly think I’m capable of following in her footsteps? I’m by no means a powerful witch…let alone the most powerful.
The way I crumpled when Chastity threatened me is proof of that.
After The Sage’s confession, it’s even harder for me to deduce where my loyalties lie, not that they were ever with The Council to begin with. The sound of nearby footsteps causes me to jump, and I glance up to see Rayna enter the room.
“You seem tense,” she observes and sits in the seat beside me, cupping her chin in her palm.
I bite my lip, unsure of what to reveal to her. Had Crowe told her what had happened in Mentis? Had Hyacinth? “I’ve been thinking a lot…about my past,” I admit with a grimace sent to my leg.
“Oh?” she says, raising her eyebrows. Clearly, she’s surprised I’ve decided to open up to her. I am too. “What about it?”
“In Mentis, Lavina told me someone might’ve hurt me…on purpose.”
Rayna’s chunky face squints her eyes to slits as she screws it up before asking, “Why would they do that?”
“To hide the truth of my powers. Lavina told me something I never knew before.”
Rayna reaches out to grasp my hand. “Good news, I hope. She’s never wrong.”
Her ‘comforting’ words only manage to add to my unease. “She said the severity of the burns actually gave me pyrokinetic powers. I was never supposed to have them.”
Rayna’s eyes stretch wide and she shuffles in her seat thankfully removing her hand as she pulls away from me. “Wow…really? Did she say where she thinks you’re from if not from Ignis?”
I shrug. “She didn’t say, but if I had to guess, I would pick Mentis. It’s the only one that makes sense.” If any of this does, I add silently.
Rayna purses her lips. “I suppose anything’s possible. If you’re from Mentis, how’d you end up in Ignis?”
That’s a good question.
“That’s what I’d like to figure out,” I reply, thinking of how right Quinn was in saying I need to confront my parents.
“Your parents have never said a thing about it?”
I shake my head, too exhausted to go into depth about their secretive behavior. “I suppose I’ll have to talk to them again in Ignis.”
“You can’t go yet…not without Crowe,” she points out after a quick scan confirms his absence. “An important thing to remember about The Council is that you must be able to put all your feelings aside to focus on your given tasks—duty comes first.”
I want to laugh in her face. If anyone has ever had an excuse to be distracted from their job, I think I do. How can I explain to her that my reasoning for wanting to go back home has to do with my role
in The Council? I don’t know if The Sage wants people to know I’m supposed to follow in her footsteps, and I can’t tell her what The Sage told me about the Elementals nor what I’m beginning to suspect I am.
There’s no way to make her understand what’s wrong, why bother? I resolve and look up at her through exhausted eyes. “Right,” I say glumly, the only statement I can manage before a new thought crosses my mind. If I mention the fact The Sage wants to take me on as her successor, would it change her attitude toward me?
“You don’t have to talk to me, you know, but you seem as if you need to talk to someone. Remember, if you have questions, you can always ask Thorn and Callista—that’s their forte, to make sure you feel comfortable here. They’ll be happy to help.”
Thorn’s scrutinizing face flashes through my mind. I doubt it.
“How’s she doing—Callista?” I ask, suddenly remembering the critical condition the fairy had been in the last time I saw her.
“She’s stable from what I’ve heard. Lynx is watching over her. He hasn’t left her side once so he might be a little surly. If you want to go see for yourself, I think he’s allowing visitors now.”
“That must mean she’s getting better,” I say thoughtfully before I stumble to my feet, glad for the excuse to slip away. “I think I’ll go say ‘hi.’”
Rayna stares at me but doesn’t say another word as I make my way outside. I feel her eyes burning a hole through me, and I wonder exactly how much of the incident at Lavina’s she’s been told. I shrug off the thought and walk through The Council’s elaborate garden, focusing on the task at hand. For once, I’m glad of the pain in my leg. It centers me, bringing me to the moment rather than allowing me to get lost in the vicious circle of my mind.
I fear it may be too late to save myself…I’m already lost in the depths of the labyrinth of my problems and things are only just beginning.
My footsteps are slow and tottering as I move through the night, following the river to the tiny hut not far from Thorn and Callista’s home in the reeds. I peek my head inside, smelling the herbs before I even announce my presence.
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