He cocks his head to the side and drops one hand against my stomach. My eyes are also focused on his as he lines himself up against my opening, and then slowly presses inside.
His mouth drops open, exhaling a silent groan as he pushes inside me. My own mouth seems to do the same as I adjust to his width. It’s not like before, it’s not nearly as painful but the ecstasy is just as keen. It could be the position or it could be because it’s no longer my first time with a man, but whatever the case may be, I feel things I hadn’t felt the last time.
And the last time, I was knocked on my ass so I can only imagine where this is going to lead. He continues to sink inside me until he’s buried to the hilt and he just watches me—he’s always fucking watching me as if I’m the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid his eyes on.
He’s still, allowing me to become comfortable with himself inside me. The last time, he wasn’t nearly this gentle, but the longer he just sits there, the more I’m craving for him to let loose.
“Are you all right?” he questions in a harsh voice.
“Yeah.” I grit my teeth and nod. “I’m better than all right.”
His expression does all the talking words never could as a muscle ticks in his jaw, and then he’s dropping forward so that we’re face to face again, plants the softest darn kiss on my lips. Braces a hand on either side of my head and then slowly starts to pull out.
He’s being careful with me. Too careful. It makes me think something must be up. This must be one of his games, like he’s trying to test me, trying to test my limits. I can’t bring myself to care because I just want to be fucked, which is such a Willow thing to think. She’d be so proud of me.
He rocks back into me, snapping my attention back to the now and present. Soon enough, he finds a pace that he likes. It’s tortuously slow, pulling me inside out over and over again, dragging his swollen, thick length against my flesh in a dizzyingly easy rhythm. It’s like he drives me to the brink only for me to find out it’s a tease as he’s rocking back out again.
He stares down at me, his eyes hovering between opened and closed. I reach upward with one hand and caress him softly against the cheek. It takes him by surprise or something because he immediately comes to a stop, his slick cock half inside me, half out.
His eyes search mine and I can’t look away.
Feeling as if I’ve done something wrong, something too intimate, I drop my hand to his side and swallow roughly. Just as I do so, he reaches to caress my cheek just as softly, but the tenderness can only last so long, I suppose.
He trails his hand to the back of my head and cradles me there before pulling upwards so that my lips are pressed against his.
He adjusts his position above me, and with his free hand he grips me at my hip… Stares at me for a moment more, his mouth close to mine.
And he fucking drives all the way into me, forcing a gasp from my throat. He’s holding on to me tightly now—both at my head and my hip—as he thrusts into me with a new, brutal pace. With each stroke of his cock against my insides, each varying in depth and speed, I can’t get a handle on what’s coming next.
There’s a rush of confusion as he plows into me, changing again, this time switching to long, deep, hard thrusts that rock me toward my core, and I find myself barreling towards an orgasm that had seemed like a mirage I might never reach only moments ago, the pleasure welling up somewhere deep in my throat. His breathing becomes erratic. Sweat beads on his forehead and drops down onto my face. His back is slick too. Every part of him. Every part of me. It’s all being painted in wetness.
My fingers dig into the back of his shoulders as I try to hold on, but it’s no use. I break around him, my body shuddering as I ride out the waves of pleasure. My teeth sink into his shoulder as I try and not scream, try and not wake the neighbors.
It goes on and on, the climax tearing through me as he fucks me faster, harder, deeper. There’s no stopping him, no stopping his own impending explosion. I’ve got no time to recover, no time to come down from one impossible high as I reach another. Through my haze, I vaguely recall hearing that having an orgasm is the closest thing you can have to a heart attack and now I don’t doubt it.
I feel like I’m dying, in the best possible way.
He grunts against my ear before pressing his lips against mine, stealing whatever little breath I had left. And as he thrusts forward once more, I can feel every muscle in his body straining as he lets out a cry stifled against my mouth.
He buries himself to the hilt and spends himself inside me, his cock bucking and jerking as he fills me in hot spurts. For a second, I panic, but then I remember I’m on the pill. Have been since I was nineteen…just in case. I find myself unbearably grateful for my contentious nature as I want nothing between us when we’re like this. Being close to him is everything.
My heart is beating so damn fast, but somehow I think his is beating faster. It was an erotic race to the finish line, which we’ve both just crossed as winners. And as he comes down from his orgasm, slowly but surely, panting and fatigued, his grip on my head loosens enough so that I fall backwards against the bed.
I’m left with a view, what I can see with blurry eyes anyway. A view of him so damn beautiful above me. And as I steal one last glance before closing my eyes, I realize that I’m in far deeper than I ever could have imagined.
I realize for the first time perhaps…
It’s not just sex that I crave. It’s not just the forbidden fantasy, and me making the most of my last few months in college. It’s about him.
Only him.
I’m head over heels in love.
18
Jack
Grace is at peace beside me, lost in the world of dreams behind closed eyes. I’ve never seen a woman look quite so innocent. Certainly not after a rough night of sex.
I don’t know if my perception of her says more about her or more about me. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Not when she’s snuggled up against my chest, the blankets pulled tight over her body.
I’ve never been one to pride myself on taking a woman’s virginity. The two times I did in high school felt more like a chore that I wasn’t up to performing. I prefer my girls to be experienced and assured in the sack. Grace is the exact opposite of that, which is why I’m consistently surprised at just how hot the sex is between us. More than that, I’m simply in disbelief that I enjoy her company as much as I do.
With every day that passes, every naïve interaction, I find myself becoming more and more invested in her to the point that it’s not just going to hurt if I find out she’s betraying me. It’s going to fucking break me in half.
A low buzz sounds beside me.
My gaze shifts to the nightstand and the screen of my phone lighting up. I try to get a sneak peek at the message because if it’s not important, then I’m not moving from this spot. I’m not risking waking Grace up or leaving the comfort of her arms for something stupid.
Just my luck, however, that I can only vaguely see the screen, certainly not well enough to get any indication as to who the message is from, much less what the contents of it are.
I groan as I shift out from underneath Grace, being as gentle as possible as to not wake her. She stirs slightly when I go to move my arm out from under head and I freeze in place, waiting to see if she’s going to wake up.
She doesn’t and I let out a sigh of relief as I finally free myself from underneath her weight. I hold her head still as I prop my pillow underneath her arm, hoping she doesn’t notice the difference until I crawl back into bed with her.
I swipe the phone off the nightstand and read the text blazing back at me.
BENNETT: Call me
Bennett is a low-level street thug-type guy who I’ve worked with before on both sides of the law. He’s a great go to for information for anyone with the cash to pony up. His soul is constantly for sale to the highest bidder so I’ve made a note to never trust him fully.
Still, he’s given me good information before so
I tend to believe whatever he tells me, at least on the surface.
Either way, this is the last thing I need to deal with right now. I look back to check on Grace once more, still as peaceful as ever while she continues to sleep, before peeling the bedroom door open just enough to slip out into the living room.
I click on Bennett’s contact to dial his number while I step next to the floor-to-ceiling window in the corner of the living room. The phone begins to ring and I’m a little annoyed when he doesn’t answer right away, instead sending me to voicemail.
Fucking asshole.
I make a mental note to remind me to kick his ass the next time I see him out on the streets. I glance out the window as I wait for him to call me back.
When my phone vibrates in my hands, I answer it immediately.
“Don’t tell me to call you and then not answer when I actually call you five seconds later,” I scowl to him in a hushed whisper.
“Sorry, man,” he says loudly. “Why the fuck are you whispering, anyways? What are you, in church?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Right. Right. Right. So, what’s up?”
I rake a frustrated hand through my hair. “You’re the one who called me, Bennett.”
“Oh yeah,” he chuckles. “I’ve got some information for you, and I’m sorry to say it’s not good.”
He doesn’t sound sorry, but whatever. I look back to the bedroom door and shake my head. “Stop dicking around and spit it out, please.”
“This guy, Phil—”
“Yeah, I know who you’re talking about.”
“Well, apparently he’s got a vague description of you moving through the streets to see if anyone knows who you are. Says he thinks it was you…that hit the other night on Donny and his boys. Knows other things too, like the make and model of your car.”
“Is that so?” I pace across the length of the windows. “What makes him think that?” I reply, careful not to reveal too much.
“Apparently there was a video camera outside that warehouse Donny Carmichael was killed at. As soon as I heard that, I figured it was your car they’re talking about so I figured I’d give you a heads up. You know, warn you for old time’s sake.”
Old time’s sake, my ass. Bennett was out for two things and two things only: Bennett and Benjamins. But I let his bullshit slide for now. “I appreciate that, Bennett.”
“Look, man, the video is kind of fuzzy because those cameras are as old as shit, but you should still lay low for a while and get rid of the ride.”
“Fuck,” I grown and scratch nervously at my forehead. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried, because I am. Yeah, me and Bennett go a ways back and he’s helped me out on some cases when the money was right, I also know his allegiance is for sale. If Phil starts flashing money around, he’d easily roll over on me and sell me down the river. “Thanks again for the heads up. If you hear anything else, or if Phil’s suspicions take tighter aim, let me know. In the meantime, I’ll get rid of this car tomorrow. Not that I had anything to do with the whole Donny thing, but better safe than sorry.”
“Dude, don’t sell it,” he warns me. “That’d be too suspicious and he’s got his hands in half the used car dealerships in the city.”
“Well, what do you suppose I do with it? Drop it into the river?” I snap back.
“Nah, man, I got you. I got a chop guy you can take it to.”
“Got an address?” I question as I pull open a drawer from the end table and collect a notepad and pen.
“It’s on the corner of Smith and Clapton. Guy’s name is Robert. He’s an old grimy son of a bitch, but he’ll get the job done.”
I scribble all the information down and then step back to the window. “Thanks again for the heads up. I’ll drop five hundred dollars off into your locker at the YMCA sometime tomorrow.”
“Dude, man, that’s not necessary. That’s not why I was calling.”
I wish he could see how hard I roll my eyes at that ridiculous lie. Bennett never does anything out of the kindness of his heart. “Yeah and you know me. I like to take care of the people watching my back.”
“Well, if you insist. And I really appreciate it, Jacky.”
“Bennett?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t fucking call me Jacky,” I snarl before hanging up on him and squeezing the phone tight in my hand as I stare out at the city streets.
Was this a trap and Bennett was already on Phil’s payroll? Or was this just Bennett being the bottom feeder he was, using the feed he’d sucked from the bottom to make a little dough? In either case, it sure as fuck would have been nice to get this call before I’d moved Grace in for the month. I can’t help but to question, given the recent developments, if she’d actually be safer away from me. I need to come up with a game plan fast, and end this once and for all.
All I know is one thing.
Ain’t no way in hell I’m getting any sleep tonight…
Grace
I’m standing behind the bedroom door about to faint from holding my breath for so long, but Jack is the most perceptive person I’ve ever known. At this point, I’m not convinced that he doesn’t have superpowers. If I should make the slightest peep, he’ll catch me in the act.
He finally hangs up the phone and just stares out the window blankly. The same way I’m hiding behind the bedroom door staring at him blankly. My heart beats against my chest, trying to discern what this could all mean.
What kind of professor gets a call in the middle of the night, and talks about getting rid of cars and stuff? None that I know. Certainly, none that I thought I wanted to know.
Something is definitely fishy. I mean, my gut’s been screaming that since I first laid eyes on him. But this seems like the closest thing to proof I’ve gotten. Sure, it was suspicious as hell that it looked like he was spying on that dead creep a few nights before he died, but that could have been coincidental.
Here? He was actually talking to someone on the phone about getting rid of his car among other damning things. The conversation I just listened to was the very definition of empirical evidence.
I think about whether to confront him right now before he’s had the chance to come up with lies to cover up the truth. But while one part of me is yearning for the truth, the other part of me is terrified of it.
I decide it can wait. It has to because I can’t bring myself to ruin the magic of this thing between us. I need just a little longer… just one more night before I blow it all out of the water with prying questions and half-baked theories.
When I drop my hand from my mouth, my arm scrapes against the bedroom door, causing it to creak as it swings lightly. Jack cocks his head toward the bedroom door, but I think I’m able to duck out of the way before he can see me. His feet begin to patter against the hardwood floors, so I jump back into bed and drop my head back down onto the pillow he put under me when he thought I was asleep.
Behind closed eyes, I can’t see him enter the room, but I can feel it. It’s like there’s a light draft around his strong body. The floorboards creak under his weight until the mattress shifts underneath him as he crawls into bed. The first thing he does is pulls me as close as possible with one strong arm under my back.
In the moment, my heart is full because at least I know he cares about me. He would only cuddle me if he cared. If he didn’t care, then he wouldn’t feel the need to show it since he thinks I’m asleep.
I shift my head closer to his body, palm one hand over his muscular chest. And I can feel his heartbeat racing underneath his skin.
I can’t help but to think back to our lovemaking just a few short hours ago. It was different from the first time. Though it was more intense, there was more passion. It was like he was holding on to me as tight as possible, similar to what he’s doing now.
I get it now, fighting it is useless. It being defined as whatever it is that’s becoming of the two of us. I’m most definitely starting to feel lik
e I’m his on some level, and that’s all I really need to know for the time being.
I’ve never felt this way for a guy before. It’s like I’m literally nuts over him, and I know in my gut he’s not a bad person. Whatever he’s doing or engaged in, it has to be for a good reason, no matter how shady his actions might seem on the surface.
All this time, I’ve been thinking about who he could be, never realizing for a second that perhaps I should be more worried about what he might be. My sixth sense says that he is a strong, kind, good man who might be involved in something dangerous. Maybe he needs my help.
And as soon as I get the chance, I’m going to give it to him, whether he likes it or not.
19
Jack
“I’m really enjoying this being lazy thing, but I really should jump in the shower,” I say to Grace, who’s lying on her side facing me in bed. “It’s going to be quite the chore getting my ass motivated, but I have some things I need to do today.”
She purses her lips, reaches out to me to draw circles in my chest with one finger. “Like what?”
I grin. “Professorly stuff.”
“Right.” She nods, scoots a little closer. Her hand rises to my cheek to caress me gently. “I should probably get up too, but I think I’ll lie around a little longer.”
I slide to the edge of the bed and climb to my feet. I watch her carefully as I step towards the bathroom door, and close the door behind me. I draw my shirt over my head and toss it into the black hamper and then take a good look at myself in the mirror.
The face of a satisfied man. And the face of a stressed out one, too.
I shake my wrist as I unbuckle my watch and set it on the bathroom sink, taking note for the first time that it’s already a quarter after two. Grace and I have spent way too long in bed today but I knew the second I got up, the peace of mind she’s brought me would be gone.
Saving Grace: A bad-boy virgin romance Page 13
