by Box Set
“I was being stubborn. It was my fault. I can’t believe you’re going to Italy.”
They laughed and everyone in the group seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief. All was as it should be in the universe. They walked to the next store, Braxton on one side holding her hand and Ellie on the other.
Kate stared at their family photos on the wall in the family room. Every one of them were from the time following Amelia’s adoption. She’d never noticed that before. Ellie’s earlier words about Kate’s age at adoption were getting to her. This was an easy problem to solve. All she had to do was to get her mom to get her some pictures. She vaguely remembered bringing some to school and looking at picture books with her mom when she was younger, but it’d been a long time. There had to be a ton. Seriously, she was their first child.
She marched into the kitchen. “Hey Mom, could you get me some of my baby pictures?”
Her mom shut the cabinet she’d opened without getting anything out. “What do you need those for?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to look at them. I can’t seem to find them.”
“Uh. Well. Sure. I can get you some.” She turned and opened the cupboard door again, pulling down some plates.
“Can you maybe do it now?” Kate shifted on her feet. She wasn’t usually so demanding.
Her mom walked to the table and put the plates down. “Not right now. I’m getting dinner ready.”
“Tell me where they are, and I’ll get them.” Kate forced a smile. “Are they in one of the two boxes in the attic that I didn’t get to check?”
“No. It’s too hot in the attic. I’m not exactly sure where they are. I’m going to have to look.” She moved toward the stove and stirred the spaghetti.
“How about I finish dinner and you go get them?” She moved toward her mom. “I really need them right now.”
Her mom tapped the wooden spoon she’d been using on the edge of the pot and laid it across the top. She turned in slow motion. “You need them or want them? You’re going to need to exercise a bit of patience on this one, Kate. We can talk about it again tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? But I really want them now. Let me finish dinner. It’s not a big deal.”
“I said, tomorrow.” Her mom turned back to the stove, removed the spoon from the pot and poured the water and noodles into a colander in the sink.
“Ugh!” Kate said, throwing her arms into the air. “I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“Not that I need to give you further explanation, but I don’t have time. Your dad and I are going to a movie right after dinner, and I’m already running late.”
Her dad walked in at that very moment. “We’re going to a movie?” he questioned.
Her mom whipped around. “Of course we are honey, did you forget?” There was something in the way she said it that told Kate her mom was hoping her dad would play along.
“Oh, yeah. Uh, huh. Sorry honey, I had a busy day at work today.”
“It will be nice to forget it all and relax at the theater.” Her mom sighed. Kate watched her parents with narrowed eyes.
“Whatever,” Kate said under her breath.
“What was that?” her dad asked.
“Nothing. I’ll tell everyone it’s time for dinner.” She hunched her shoulders forward as she walked away.
When she came back into the room followed by her siblings, her parents were whispering by the stove. Kate stared at them as they turned. Her dad rubbed at his chin and looked at his feet after his eyes briefly met Kate’s. Her mom cleared her throat and shifted before announcing much more loudly than necessary, “Spaghetti and meatballs tonight. Who’s ready?”
The boys were the first to holler out that they were ready and the girls said, “Sweet,” in unison. Ellie was right. Her parents were hiding something about those pictures. Kate ate without speaking unless someone asked her a direct question. She then answered with as few words as possible, making sure not to allow a true conversation.
Feeling irritable again, Kate turned to the piano to find solace before heading to bed. She couldn’t remember a time that she’d felt so out of sorts for so long. She lost herself in the piece and once done, she stood, feeling much better. She wasn’t alone. Her dad sat on one of the sofas in the room. She forced herself to acknowledge him.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Hi, Sweetie. That was beautiful.”
She smiled, but inside, she wished he wasn’t there. She didn’t want anything to disturb her newly acquired calm.
“The office is having a dinner party at O’Shay’s, and I’d like you to play during the time the guests arrive and when dinner is served. Something upbeat and interesting. How does that sound?”
Her body hunched forward, and her hands began to tremble. She wanted to say no, but knew that wasn’t a possibility even though she would be sick, truly sick for the entire day before the performance. Her parents forced her into using her talent over and over again, believing that repeating the act would free her from the nerves they thought she suffered from. Kate knew it was more than that, though.
Ever since she’d started playing the piano, she’d been having a recurring dream of a faceless woman sitting with her on the piano bench, encouraging her, teaching her, and loving her. The dream usually filled her with comfort. Playing the piano brought the woman’s presence to her side, and she always felt an incredible love and sense of joy. But a few years ago, the dream had changed. Now, instead of just the woman, she also dreamed of an audience. When she had those dreams, she woke in cold sweats, terror and loss coursing through her. She could never remember the details, but the fear she felt when she awoke was undeniable. Ever since she’d started seeing the audience, playing in public always brought the same cold dread to her heart.
She didn’t understand how one thing could cause her so much pain and so much joy at the same time. And who was the faceless woman? It wasn’t any of the professors her parents had her work with. It wasn’t anyone in her immediate family. And she knew it wasn’t a stranger. She swallowed hard a few times before croaking out, “When?” She bit on her inner cheek, trying to control the panic that flooded her.
“Next week on Friday. And your mom has arranged for you to perform at Mr. and Mrs. Conrad’s fiftieth anniversary next month. She thought a few nice pieces by Mozart and Beethoven would be just the ticket.”
“Okay.” She rubbed and twisted her hands together.
“Excellent.” He stood and pulled her into a hug.
Her heartbeat seemed to slow and she took a deep breath. She could do this. She always did. Her parents were doing their best and she knew they had her future in mind. While they did get a jolt of praise for her playing, she knew deep down that they only wanted her to use her talents to the fullest and share them whenever possible. And they couldn’t be held accountable for repeatedly causing her so much anguish, because she never shared with them the root cause.
5
When she got back to her room, she noticed a text from Ellie waiting for her on her phone. I have news. Can you come over? It was nine now, and her parents would never let her go out so late on a school night. Ellie’d sent the text an hour ago.
Kate wanted to call Ellie, but The King’s Court was on TV from 9-10 and she knew it’d be better to text. Ellie could decide when to read and answer back that way.
Sorry. I was practicing. What’s up? She didn’t want to tell Ellie about the confrontation with her parents about the baby pictures. It would just feed into Ellie’s crazy theories. Kate got ready for bed, glancing at the phone every five seconds to see if there’d been a response. It took Ellie five minutes to respond, which wasn’t unusual when she was watching a reality TV show. It did give Kate just enough time to pull out her search journal and flip through some of the pages, which wasn’t the best idea. Her moroseness returned.
Ellie called and speed talked, giving Kate the information as fast as she could. “Guess what? I ran a picture of you and the locket picture
through a facial recognition app. It’s a 95% match. That picture is definitely of you. Oh, the show’s back on. I’ll call you back.” She hung up, leaving Kate with an open mouth and saucers for eyes. Her heart plunged into an erratic beat, and she started breathing fast and shallow.
Bile rose up in her throat. It couldn’t be. If that was true, even the little she thought she knew about herself was a lie. She wanted to deny it, but her heart told her that what Ellie had said was true. She’d known from the moment she’d found the locket in the attic—her parents were hiding something, she just hadn’t wanted to face it.
The phone in her hand vibrated bringing her out of her stupor. She looked at it. Ellie’s name showed on the screen. Like she was moving in slow motion, she pressed the answer button. “Ellie?” Ellie didn’t answer. Maybe Ellie had been right all along. Maybe her parents had been keeping things from her. The call ended, but Ellie tried again. Kate didn’t answer it this time. She closed her search journal, curled up into a ball on her bed, and fell asleep.
The next thing she knew, Ellie was shaking her awake. “Kate,” Ellie whispered. Kate blinked pushing sleep from her. “Ellie?”
“I’m here. What happened? I was so worried. I sneaked in your back door. I was so glad it was open. I thought something terrible happened. Did you just fall asleep?”
That’s when the tears came. Ellie held Kate, rocking and shushing her. Once the majority of the tears had fallen, Ellie said, “Now. Tell me what happened. I thought you’d be excited about what I found out and now you’re crying.”
“My parents knew all along.”
“They knew what?”
Her words poured out in an angry tirade. “They’ve had that picture the whole time. They let me search for years—years—for any scrap of information, and all along they’ve had this! They let me hire a private investigator—oh holy crap—” she stared at Ellie’s shocked face. “They gave me a flippin’ fake onesie! That outfit I gave the P.I. wasn’t even mine—he followed fake clues. Oh, no. Oh, no I am so dumb. He didn’t follow any clues at all. He just told me what they wanted me to think, and I fell for it. This is— I just— I can’t—” Her head filled with a rushing sound, and she suddenly felt too hot. She couldn’t catch her breath. “I think I’m going to faint.”
Ellie put a hand on her back and pushed down hard, forcing Kate’s head between her knees. “Breathe, Kate. In and out, in and out.” Ellie coached her through slow breaths until the whooshing sound in her head subsided and she could finally sit up without feeling dizzy.
“Wow,” she said breathily. “How’d you know to do that?”
“Saw it on My Not So Normal Life on the Jersey Shore.” Ellie tried to smile, but it came out as kind of a weak grimace. “Jace was panicking about a lunch date with his parents and Susan had him do it. Are you all right?”
“You were right. My parents have been lying to me my whole life. I hate it when you’re right.”
Ellie sat next to her in uncomfortable silence for a while. “I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“I got kinda wrapped up in proving to you that your parents were lying liars, and I didn’t stop to think how that knowledge might affect you. It was kind of like a game to me. I should have realized this wasn’t going to be, like, super awesome news for you.”
Kate chuckled wryly. “No kidding.”
“But hey—now you know.”
“And knowing is half the battle?”
Ellie smiled. “Exactly.” She bumped Kate with her shoulder. “Seriously, though. Now you have some actual clues—real leads to finding your birth parents.”
“Yeah—all I have to do is ask the lying liars I live with.” Kate scowled. She knew there was basically no chance of getting the truth out of her parents. She tapped her fingers on the search journal.
“Or…” Ellie waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “We could do our own investigation. Follow the leads.”
“My parents would never—”
“Find out? Great plan!” Ellie’s grin was infectious and Kate found herself smiling, too, despite the churning in her stomach.
“You really think we can find them?”
“Bet on it.”
Something occurred to Kate. Her shoulders slumped and her smile disappeared. “Before you go to Italy? How am I ever supposed to do any of this without you?”
Ellie shook her head. “Don’t think about that now. It’s not even a sure thing, yet. And if it happens, it’s still a few weeks away. Let’s just focus on following these leads.” She rubbed her hands together in cartoonish excitement.
Kate snorted. “You really should have your own reality show. Ellie Lambert—Girl Detective.” She’d have to move away to get enough material for the show, though. Nothing ever happened here.
“Oh, that’s an awesome idea!” Ellie’s face was completely sincere. “I’ll have to run that one by our publicist.”
Kate laughed and hugged her friend, holding on a little tighter than normal. Ellie smelled like cotton candy, her newest cologne fit her personality perfectly. Kate picked up the thick journal and said, “And to commemorate this new search, I hereby archive this journal.”
“Archive it? Didn’t you say it was full of lies? We should burn it.”
Kate rubbed her hand over the slick surface. “It’s been such a big part of my life the last three years.” She grimaced and then patted it. “But you’re right. The information in it can’t be trusted. We’ll burn it, and I’ll start a fresh one to put the truth in.”
“That’s the way. We’re going to figure this out.”
“Thanks for coming.”
“Any time.”
Kate trudged into the kitchen the next morning. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to smile again. The initial sadness she’d felt at her parents’ betrayal had turned to potent anger as she tossed and turned before falling into a fitful sleep. She ignored the hot breakfast her mom had prepared and made a noisy commotion of getting a bowl, spoon, and frosted flakes. She wore workout pants, an over-large hoodie, and Chucks, and had pulled her dark brown hair into a low ponytail. It snaked down her back, long and straight.
“Someone didn’t get her requisite ten hours of sleep last night,” Jori said.
Her mom cleared her throat like she always did when someone in the family wasn’t kind to someone. It was her warning that their behavior was not acceptable.
“Kate.” She paused, waiting for Kate to acknowledge her.
Kate ignored her. She would not play the good daughter today.
Amelia tapped Kate on the leg. Kate didn’t stop shoveling her cereal into her mouth, chewing loudly.
“Kate.”
Kate continued to eat. She knew she was pressing her mom’s buttons but her feelings of betrayal made her bold. Inside her a tornado raged. Ellie had warned her not to say a word to her parents about what she’d discovered. Her words echoed in her mind. “They’ve kept the information from you this long. Your mom will cut you off from the information if she discovers you know. If you want to uncover who your birth parents are, then you’re going to have to fake it.”
Kate thought she was right, but it didn’t make it any easier for her to control her emotions. The moment stretched on. If her mom had to say her name once more, she’d take Kate out of the room and talk to her one on one. Maybe Ellie was wrong and she should have it out with her mom. Maybe now that Kate knew her mom had lied, she’d feel bad and tell Kate everything. She looked up at her mom, who was stirring something on the stove. No. Kate’s mom was stubborn, and she would dig in her heels and not tell her anything. Shoot, she’d probably take everything Kate had found and get rid of it. Her mom wouldn’t allow her perfect world to be disrupted. She’d have to put it back into order as fast as she could. She was an expert at sweeping problems into oblivion. Normally Kate liked the calm normality, but not now. Not when it had to do with her birth parents. Not when it had to do with her parents’ deception.
“
Yes,” Kate finally spoke.
“Are you having a hard day today?” Her mom’s back was still to her.
“Yes, ma’am.” She clenched her teeth.
“Would you like to talk about it?” Her mom twisted and looked at Kate.
“No, ma’am.” She clutched her spoon so hard it dug into her skin.
“I’ll be here when you’re ready. In the meantime, I’d appreciate you using your words in an appropriate manner to express your feelings instead of stomping and creating all kinds of havoc.”
“Yes, ma’am.” She took a few more bites of her food, tasting nothing. She washed out her bowl, feeling her sisters’ stares burn into her. They’d never seen her act that way. She was always the picture of cooperation and consideration. She left the room and stomped to the hallway to get her backpack to go to school.
Her mother hurried down the hall after her, carrying her lunch. “Sweetie, you almost forgot your lunch.” She held it out for Kate to take. Kate wanted nothing more than to reject the lunch, but thinking of Ellie, she gave her mom a pressed smile and took it. “Just remember,” her mom said, “that nothing is really as bad as it first appears.” She pulled Kate into a hug. Kate squirmed out of it.
“I’d appreciate you going upstairs and putting on a pair of jeans. The pants you have on are not appropriate attire for school.”
She’d waited until Kate was out of sight of her sisters to admonish her. Heaven forbid any correction occurred in front of others. And why did she never raise her voice? Everything about her was so fake. Kate gritted her teeth.
“But I’m late. I’m sure Ellie is already outside waiting.”
