by Box Set
“Don’t you want to be alive for that?”
“I’ll live through it.” I spoke so strongly, I almost convinced myself.
She huffed. “Does Nate know?”
I shook my head. “He’s coming tomorrow night. I’ll tell him then.”
“He’s going to freak out.”
“I know.” My stomach curled with nerves. I hated conflict. But this was something I had to do. For me.
Lucinda straightened in her seat, checked over her right shoulder while signaling, and started driving. After a minute, she said, “Sam Capone asked me out.”
“Really?” I was glad for the change of subject. “See, I knew he liked you!”
Lucinda’s lips tugged up into a grin, “I can’t believe it. He’s just so cute!”
Her joy was contagious and I couldn’t help but smile back. After a string of heartbreaks, Lucinda deserved to be happy. I hoped Sam was as good of a guy as he seemed to be.
“What are you guys going to do?”
“Pizza and a movie tomorrow night.” Her eyes darted my way. “We hadn’t made plans, had we?”
We often got together on weekends when Nate was away for out-of-town games. “No, Nate’s coming.”
“Right. You already said that.” She clucked. “Last weekend before the big AWAY game.”
“I’m fine,” was all I said.
Lucinda pulled into my drive. Her eyes crinkled with concern. “You’re sure you’re fine?”
I nodded as I got out. “I’m sure,” I said with a plastic smile, though my nose might’ve grown a little.
* * *
I broke the news of my trip to Hollywood to my family over dinner. We weren’t often all home at the same time, because of my parents’ jobs and my brother’s work and social schedule, but today I could kill all the birds with one reckless stone.
“Remember that class trip to Hollywood with my creative writing class?” I said after a bite of roasted chicken. “I paid the deposit today.” I glanced up at my parents with an eager expression. “Mom, you signed the permission slip back in November.”
My dad put his fork down. His latte-colored skin crinkled around probing dark eyes. “When is it?”
“Next week, Thursday to Sunday. The rest of the money is due this Monday.”
“That’s a great opportunity,” my mom said. Her blond hair had grown a lot over the last year and she swept it over her shoulders as she considered me. “I’m excited for you. You’ll have a great time!”
My brother Tim glared at me. “Are you crazy?”
“What?” I asked innocently, fluttering wide eyes.
He leaned toward me and spoke succinctly. “They’re flying there.”
“I know that.”
I could see Mom watching us from the corner of my eye. “Are you afraid of flying, Casey?”
“Kind of.”
Tim shook his head and rolled his eyes. Thanks to my time-travel abilities and Tim’s own stupidity, he was the only one in this room who truly understood the implications of this seemingly benign class trip. He’d taken needless risks last summer and would pay for that the rest of his life.
I continued to pick at my chicken and ate the rest of my peas and mashed potatoes. The conversation moved seamlessly from my trip to my parents’ workdays. Dad managed other people’s money from a tall office building in downtown Boston. Mom talked about her plans for the ritzy house on Mystic River in Arlington she was hired to design. Her business had done well over the last year and our kitchen had enjoyed a nice makeover as a result. We now had classic stainless-steel appliances, mixed dark and light wood cabinets and granite counter tops. A large ornate clock took up most of the wall that extended from the kitchen into the eating area. I watched the time, waiting for ten minutes to pass before asking to be excused. Mom didn’t like us eating and running.
“I have a lot of homework to do,” I explained, “and it’s Tim’s turn to clean up.”
“All right,” Mom said. I carried my dirty dishes to the kitchen, scraped my plate, and loaded the dishwasher before heading upstairs. Mom’s voice filtered up behind me. “I think it will be good for her to go on the class trip.” I smiled until she added, “She spends far too much time with Nate. She’s too young to be so serious. She needs to spend more time with kids her own age.”
I almost stumbled on the steps. Is that what she thought? A small pit snuggled up to the larger one already lodged in my stomach.
Twenty minutes later, I heard heavy, uneven footsteps thundering up the stairs and I wasn’t surprised when Tim appeared in my room. He shut the door behind him.
“Casey? What are you thinking?”
“Come on in,” I said. “Thanks for knocking.”
“Your door was open. Don’t mess with me.”
Tim’s tall, gangly form hovered over my bed where I stretched out. I closed my laptop and stared up at him. “I need to do this. Just leave it alone.”
Tim huffed. “And I thought I was the reckless one.”
“I’m not being reckless.” My voice sounded thin and wimpy.
“Oh? And what happens if you trip in midair? No cavalry will be able to save you.”
“I’m going to sleep through the flight. I never trip when I’m sleeping, remember?”
Tim rubbed the barely-there scruff on his chin as he considered this. “You better make sure you knock yourself out good.”
“I will. I promise.”
Tim relaxed into my desk chair, stretching his injured leg out. “I still think this is a really bad idea.”
“Noted.”
“Who else is going with you?”
I hadn’t taken a good look at the list. “Probably everyone in my class.”
He huffed. “I hope there is someone strong enough to carry you off the plane.”
Me too.
Chapter Three
It was Friday night and I fussed over what to wear, which I usually never did. Nate and I were comfortable around each other; we didn’t need to stress over our looks.
So it worried me that I stood in front of my closet half-naked and in a near panic, with rejected clothing strewn over my bed.
I wanted to look good. Better-than-Fiona good. Problem was, I didn’t know how to do that. Fiona and I had opposing figure types. I was long and lean. She was average height and voluptuous. She had sleek, auburn hair in a cute stylish cut. I had an unchanging mop of curls. I flopped onto my back and groaned. There was no way I could compete.
My phone chimed and I startled. I’d set the timer so I knew when the countdown to Nate’s arrival started. He was coming in a half hour, and I was nowhere close to ready! I jumped up with new determination. It’d been two weeks since I’d seen Nate in the flesh and I was going to look good. No, not good. Great!
I settled on jeans, a shiny silver T-shirt, and a soft, thigh-length cardigan over top. I clipped my hair up, letting a few strategic strands fall along my neck. Lucinda said my high cheekbones were my best feature, so I dabbed a pinch of sparkle there. Mascara and lip gloss. A spritz of perfume. I added my cross necklace, a birthday present from my dad that had crossed the ages with me. It served as a reminder to Nate about why we were Nate and Casey.
Satisfied with my looks I headed downstairs to wait in the living room. Dad was watching TV. He glanced at me and smiled.
“You look nice. Nate’s in town?”
“Thanks, and yes.”
“Isn’t he going to Spain with his basketball team?”
I felt my smile drop. “Yeah. They leave on Sunday.”
“That’s a great opportunity for him.”
Yes. It. Is.
I found myself staring at the front door, willing the doorbell to ring. I imagined myself stepping outside on the front porch, away from my Dad’s prying eyes, and laying a good one on Nate’s lips. He’d tell me I looked beautiful and I’d tell him he smelled good. We’d both be so happy and excited to finally be together after two weeks apart. We’d both be desperate t
o get in as much time as possible together before he left again for Spain.
The “F” word would not be mentioned.
I pulled my phone out of my purse and frowned. 7:03. Nate was late. He was always on time. Usually, early. I made another trip into the kitchen, stared into the massive refrigerator and closed the door without taking anything out. Again. I was like a lion in a cage, trailing a path. My heart ached with anticipation. The ticking from the clock on the wall seemed to grow louder. Now he was nine minutes late. I wrung my hands. Nate, where are you?
My ringtone sounded, and I sprinted to my purse to retrieve my phone. Nate’s face looked back at me. I loved that shot of him—dark hair all tousled, blue eyes narrowing coolly. It was a video call so I pressed accept.
“Hey?” I said.
“Hi, Casey.”
“Where are you?”
“Yeah, about that.”
Something in his voice and the way he ran his hand across the back of his neck made me head upstairs to my room. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes and no. My parents surprised me. They came to town with my brother.”
“John’s back?” Nate’s older brother John served in Iraq with the Canadian Army. “That’s great!”
“Yeah. I’m so stoked to see him. The thing is, my parents made reservations in Boston for the four of us for dinner.”
My heart sank. I lowered myself onto the edge of my bed. “I see.”
“I’m afraid I can’t see you tonight.”
“Okay. Tomorrow then.”
Nate grimaced slightly. “I can’t. John’s flying out of Logan at noon and wants to spend the morning with me, and Coach called a last-minute practice. I’m not coming into Cambridge at all.”
I couldn’t discern all the emotions that assaulted me with prickly tendrils at once. Disappointment, frustration and anger at John for picking this weekend to visit, annoyance at his parents for not including me (though I know I’m not technically family, but I have been a big part of Nate’s life for over a year), hurt that Nate wouldn’t find some way to see me, even if it were only for a few minutes (clearly, I’d been watching too many romantic movies lately), and sadness. I just missed him.
The winning emotion, however, was anger.
“That’s fine,” I said sharply. My eyes fluttered rapidly as I forced back the tears. “I’m busy, too. I have to get ready for my trip to Hollywood.”
Nate’s face flattened. “What?”
“I told you about the trip my creative writing class is going on.”
“Yeah, and you said you weren’t going.”
“Well, now I am.”
His eyes flashed with contempt. “You do know they fly coast to coast?”
“Yes, I know and I’ll SLEEP.” I was starting to sound like a broken record.
“Sleep?”
“On the plane. I never trip while sleeping. You know that.”
“But what if you wake up? Casey!”
I rushed to explain my plan to abscond with my mother’s prescription.
He snapped, “That’s irresponsible.”
“Maybe it’s my turn to be irresponsible,” I snapped back. I’d always been the good daughter, the good student, the good girlfriend. I was even the good time traveler. When did I get to sow my wild oats?
Nate ignored my comment. “It’s dangerous.”
“It’s just a class trip. I won’t get into trouble there.”
“You get into trouble everywhere.” Pain and anger cracked his voice. “Why not come with me to Spain? If you’re going to live dangerously and irresponsibly anyway.”
I wanted to go to Spain with him. Desperately. I sighed. “The flight there is twice as long.” I could imagine knocking myself out for six hours, but twelve hours of travel with a stop meant two planes and double the risk. Besides that, only athletes, cheerleaders and coaches were allowed on the trip. I’d have to tag along as a solo, rather than part of the school group, which would present a whole slew of new problems.
Nate narrowed his eyes. “Don’t do this just because you’re mad at me.”
“I’m doing it for me.” I kept my voice light. “I’d decided to go to Hollywood before I knew you weren’t coming tonight.”
It was true. Mostly. I wasn’t that girl who didn’t have a life if she didn’t have a boyfriend around. I was going to be fine. I was going to have fun in Hollywood. I would live my own life. Nate could catch up to me when he got back.
Chapter Four
I moaned as a tap on my bedroom door was followed by Lucinda’s sing-song voice. “Hey, sleepyhead, I’ve got coffee.”
I cracked an eye to see a chipper Lucinda—wearing a fresh face, a long shimmering ponytail, cute jeans, blouse and spring jacket—standing over my bed with a to-go cup extended. I shifted into a sitting position as I accepted her offering.
She shifted onto my bed, settled on top of my silky quilt sitting beside me, and continued chattering. “I thought we could share date stories!”
Right. Her first date with Sam Capone. “How was Sam?” I murmured.
“Great! And Nate?”
“He didn’t come.”
“What?” Lucinda turned and took a good look at me. I knew my eyes were puffy because they felt like bowling bags. “Were you crying?”
“Some,” I admitted. There was, in fact, quite a lot of tears and not so much sleeping during the night.
“Oh, Casey! What happened?”
I explained the “surprise” visit of Nate’s brother and the coach’s last minute call for practice.
Lucinda clucked. “That sucks big onions.”
“I know.”
“Well, it’s not like he’s going off to war. You will see him again soon.”
“I know that. It’s just, I’m used to seeing him all the time. Before he left for college we saw each other every day, and then once he was in Boston, at least once a week and we video chatted everyday. But lately, it’s like he’s too busy for me.”
Lucinda wrapped her free arm around my shoulders and pulled me tight. “It’s just a busy season. I’m sure everything is fine. You just need to keep busy with your own things. Live your own life. The time will go by in a snap and you’ll have so much news to share with each other, you’ll be sick of Nate by the time he finally lets you go.”
This was why I loved Lucinda.
“I hope you’re right,” I said with a half-smile.
“I am right. Now do you want to hear about my date, or what?”
“Of course I do.”
Lucinda talked animatedly for a good hour, and I was happy for her. Sam treated her well and I was glad she had someone now, too.
“Look, we took a selfie.” She held her phone up for me to see. “Isn’t he cute?”
Sam Capone had dark hair buzzed close to his head and blue eyes, reminding me a bit like that guy from Prison Break. Lucinda leaned in close to him. Her eyes sparkled.
“You guys make a gorgeous couple,” I said.
“Bonitos juntos!” she said in Portuguese. “Beautiful together.”
When she left, I showered and made myself presentable, expecting a video call from Nate to come in at some point. He wouldn’t leave the country without checking in with me once more, would he?
I ate a bowl of musli while watching sports TV with Tim and Dad, then headed to Mom’s office to finish the filing she hired me to do. I was grateful Mom’s business was doing well enough that she needed help. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have had the money I needed to pay the deposit on Friday and now, with the awkward way things were with Nate, I was really glad for the distraction.
The special ring tone I had for Nate finally chimed after dinner. I rushed to my room for privacy before accepting the call.
“Hey?” he said tentatively.
I smiled softly. “Hey.”
“Look, Casey, I’m sorry about last night. I don’t want to leave with us on bad terms.”
Awww. I knew he cared.
“I’m
sorry, too. I know you didn’t plan things to go the way they have. And really it’s fine. I want you to have a good time.”
He grinned that sideways grin that always made my heart flutter. “That means a lot to hear you say it.”
“It’s true. Besides, I’ll be busy having a good time, too.”
His smile dropped at that. “You’re still going to Hollywood?”
“Yes,” I said adding quickly, “You don’t have to worry. I’ll be back long before you will. You won’t miss me at all.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I miss you already.”
See? He did love me!
“I miss you too! But we can still video chat.” Even though my trip west was adding an additional three hours to our time difference and we both had busy schedules. We’d just have to find a way to make it work.
“Yeah, I know.” Nate sighed. “I gotta run. Early morning tomorrow.”
“Okay. Have a safe trip. And watch out for clingy cheerleaders.” That last part just slipped out. I bit my lip expecting a rebuke, but Nate just rolled his eyes.
“I’ll text when I get there,” he said.
I wanted to kiss the screen, but that was gross, so I blew him a kiss instead. I kept the smile on my face until we disconnected, then slunk back on my fluffy pillow. I felt flat and hollow inside, but Lucinda’s words resonated. “Do your own thing.” I sat up, opened a clean document on my laptop and started a list of everything I had to do to get ready for my trip to Hollywood.
Chapter Five
I was doing fine at school on Monday until Floozy sent me another instagram message. She was with her gaggle of cheerleaders in front of the Basilica Sagrada Familia. I recognized the tall narrow gothic towers from my research on Barcelona when I learned Nate was going there.
Wish you were here!
I stomped my foot. Ohhh! Even if I weren’t aware of her penchant for sarcasm, I couldn’t miss the smirk on her full-lipped face.
I was in a full-blown fury as I stumbled into creative writing.
“Hey, Donovan!”
My head swung to the low voice that called from one row over and one desk behind me.
